Restaurant review: STEAK & CO. (Leicester Square)

One of the things that this new world order of social distancing and lockdowns has prevented me from doing, that I miss the most, is the weekends on the town I used to have. These Saturdays in London would usually follow an itinerary of going to a steakhouse, drinking cocktails and watching a film at the cinema, although the order varied depending on reservation and cinema showing times.

2020 Oscar Predictions

As I've been banging on for weeks on this blog, Parasite should win. But the Oscars are very rarely about "deserve". When Moonlight rightly triumphed over Blah Blah Bland  three years ago, that was such a surprise, because it's unusual for the Oscars to actually reward the best film of the year!

Going by that train of thought, I don't expect the Academy to pleasantly surprise me tonight, and thus, they'll give the big two awards to the cut-rate Dunkirk, instead of the genuine originality and acuity of Parasite.

Best Picture - 1917
Best Director - Sam Mendes, 1917
Best Actor - Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Best Actress - Renee Zellweger, Judy
Best Supporting Actor - Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Supporting Actress - Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Best Adapted Screenplay - Jojo Rabbit
Best Original Screenplay - Parasite

Even though I pessimistically predicted Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood to triumph in this category at the BAFTAs last Sunday, I screamed with delight when I was proved wrong, and Flo Pugh announced Parasite as the winner!

Not just because Parasite is the infinitely superior written film, but because it meant the momentum was with Parasite to go on and win Best Original Screenplay at the Oscars. And thus, I am predicting it to rightfully be crowned here tonight!

Academy, don't let me down and give it to OUATIH! Quentin Tarantino does not deserve a third Oscar! He barely deserves one.

Best Animated Feature - Klaus
Best Animated Short - Hair Love
Best Documentary Feature - American Factory
Best Documentary Short - Learning to Skateboard in a Warzone (If You're a Girl)
Best International Film - Parasite
Best Live Action Short - Nefta Football Club
Best Cinematography - 1917
Best Costume Design - Little Women
Best Film Editing - Parasite

The bookies have the same odds for Parasite to take Editing as they do Ford vs Ferrari, and most Oscar-prognosticators are split evenly for who they're predicting for this category. Parasite has fewer cuts, 960 compared to the average in a film of 1,250, and Ford vs Ferrari's car-racing scenes were certainly cut with flair.

The Academy have historically rewarded the editing for frenetic films that rely on more editing (e.g. Whiplash, Mad Max: Fury Road and last year's egregious win for Bohemian Rhapsody), which would favour Ford vs Ferrari.

But I am stubbornly predicting hopefully here, almost in the hope of willing a win for Parasite. Much of the enjoyment of Parasite came from the economy of  each scene; there wasn't a superfluous shot in the film. Every shot served a purpose, even if you didn't realise its purpose until later. The editing in Parasite may be less flashy than in Ford vs Ferrari, but it aids the story (and Bong's vision) perfectly. So I hope the Academy repay my faith and reward the editor here.

It would send a great message that the Academy reward crafts on the quality of them, rather than the quantity.

Best Makeup and Hair Styling - Bombshell
Best Production Design - Once Upon A Time in Hollywood

Parasite deserves to win in this category (it deserves to win all six of its categories!), but sadly, I think the Academy will go for the more in-your-face sets of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. La La Land won this category three years ago, and the art decor in this film was reminiscent of LLL.

But in terms of astute use of the production design to assist telling your story, Parasite deserves this, hands down.

Best Visual Effects - 1917
Best Original Score - Joker
Best Original Song - "(I'm Gonna) Love Me Again," Rocketman
Best Sound Mixing - 1917
Best Sound Editing - 1917

So sadly, I'm predicting six awards for Call of Duty: WW1. I want Parasite to win all six awards it's nominated for, and to make myself feel better about the fact that it's probably not happening, I partook in some emotional hedging in the form of a monetary bet:

If 1917 is going to steal Parasite's awards, I may as well make £7.38 out of it! (I haven't gambled for nearly four years, and I lost £10 that time. I would gladly take the money hit this year, if it meant Bong's masterpiece was justly rewarded!)

Happiness is the same price as red bottoms.

In a happy sequel to me getting my Gal Gadot piercing, I passed the exam I sat in my September sitting. As I've developed a tendency to treat myself for exam passes (and the substantial toil I put myself through to pass them), I also got myself something for being successful this time. 

Except, whereas a cartilage piercing only costs £30, I levelled up substantially this time, with £495 Louboutins:

Those red soles ❤️

For my next exam pass, I won't be splurging on something quite as extravagant (I'll probably get another ear piercing!), but I just had to get these heels this time. 

I've heard Louboutins, or 'red bottoms', name-dropped in many of my favourite hip-hop or pop songs (whether it be from Iggy Azalea, Cardi B, J-Lo, Ariana Grande or Lizzo), so there's always been a cachet around them. 

My two personal favourite references to Loubies in music is Ariana Grande trilling 'happiness is the same price as red bottoms' in 7 Things, and Jennifer Lopez (who I will be rooting for to win Best Supporting Actress next year for her fierce performance in Hustlers)'s song Louboutins.

And now I finally have a pair of red bottoms to call my own. ❤️

Film review: AN INSPECTOR CALLS (Guy Hamilton, 1954)

The Birlings, an upper-class family are celebrating the engagement of their daughter to her boyfriend. The patriarch of the Birling family owns many of the factories in their town, and the family certainly act like it. Then comes a knock at the door, with Inspector Poole interrupting their dinner party. He wishes to discuss the suicide of a local girl, Eva Smith, and the part each of the family members played in it. And their wealth isn't going to get them out of the awkward recriminations that will follow.

My Moneyball moment

Earlier this year, I had a job interview for a Finance role, wherein I had to give a pitch about myself. I found the task a little daunting (how does one sell themselves without sounding egotistical?), but I remembered one of the fundamental tenets of good film writing: show, don't tell.

Rather than tell my interviewers what I could do, I thought I'd show them. I said I had some experience with R, and put my money where my mouth was in the form of this graph:

So there you go: my very own "Jonah Hill in Moneyball" moment. And just like Hill's character convinced Brad Pitt with his expert understanding of baseball economics, I convinced my interviewers thanks to my graph of goals scored by Chelsea players!

And they say films don't teach you anything. ;)

Film review: A OR B [幕后玩家] (Pengyuan Ren, 2018)

A shady investment manager Zhong Xiaonian (Xu Zheng) wakes up one day to find that the safe where he kept records of his dodgy dealings, and a vital USB stick containing access to all his funds, has been ransacked. Even worse, there’s no way for him to exit his bedroom. He’s locked in, and every day at 9am, he must choose one undesired consequence (A), or another (B), or else both will happen.

This plot conceit, which has more than a passing resemblance to the Saw movies, is executed, for the most part, in a suitably compelling manner. In order to rise to his position at the top of the company, Zhong has screwed over many people and made some powerful enemies, and as he tries to plot his escape from the locked room, he’s also trying to ascertain the identity of the person who’s doing this to him.

Film review: FALLEN ANGEL (Otto Preminger, 1945)

Eric Stanton, a penniless, down on his luck conman arrives in a Californian coastal town and instantly falls for Stella, the resident siren. Unfortunately for him, he’s not the only one to have fallen under her spell, as all the men in the town are equally smitten with her.

Restaurant review: PREZZO (New Oxford Street)

Now that there’s a post-Oscar lull, my blog feels weirdly directionless. I’m currently consuming any black and white films I can get my hands on, so expect random review of classic movies! I shall also attempt to make my way through the huge backlog of restaurants and bars I’ve frequented (although the rate I dine out far outstrips the rate at which I review places!).

I attended Prezzo with a BuyAGift voucher, where the deal on the website was £30 for a three-course-meal with a glass of wine.

Bar review: THE ROYAL HORSEGUARDS (Westminster)

I’m working through a huge backlog of restaurants and bars from which I have photos, including places I went to as far back as in 2014!

My trip to The Royal Horseguards was using a Groupon deal, £29 for a pitcher of cocktails and a sharing platter. Here they are pictured below: -

Restaurant review: THE ARCHDUKE (Waterloo)

Across the road from Waterloo station, there are several dining options for those who are starved, following an arduous train journey. As I mentioned in my Azzurro review, that is a godawful place which you should avoid like the plague; you'd be better off buying some fried chicken from one of the fast food places nearby. The Archduke, just about two minutes walk from Azzurro (so named because it is situated under the railway arches), represents a far more palatable alternative.

Restaurant review: CARLUCCIO'S (Smithfield)

Carluccio's is a spacious, welcoming Italian restaurant, with very reasonable prices. I dined there for a team dinner a few months ago, when we all had the set menu (3 courses for £17.99, a £3.50 surcharge for the steak).

Product review: KIND TO SKIN REFRESHING FACIAL WASH GEL (Simple)

Bar review: PIANO WORKS BAR (Farringdon)

I love singing. Whether it be Disney songs, RnB, Broadway showtunes, power ballads, I’m happiest when I’m warbling along to music (and often getting the lyrics wrong in the process). Piano Works allows you to do this to live piano music, along with a percussive and jazz band, and a lead singer, whilst dancing in a night-club-style venue. That was my Friday night sorted, then.

The band played their instruments really well, with flamboyance from the electric guitars when the occasion called for it, and more nuanced accompanying for other songs. The band shrewdly rotated singers depending on the flavour of the song. Sometimes, as was the case with Kanye West’s Goldigger, more than one person sang at a time. They had a fantastic female singer who belted out How Far I’ll Go from Moana. Given I have recently just watched Moana and the song is fresh in my mind, that in itself made that Friday one of the best nights out I’ve had in a long time.

The song choices at Piano Works were on point. They played Uptown Funk, Piano Man, American Boy, Grace Kelly… basically, crowd pleasers. And the crowd was very pleased. Here’s a clip of their performance of What Makes You Beautiful. The One Direction song is only my fourth favourite of all-time, so I had a whale of a time dancing to it!

Restaurant review: STICKS’N’SUSHI (Covent Garden)

Despite meeting Per Mertesacker at Sushisamba, I’ve never actually dined there, and thus the mantle of fanciest sushi restaurant I’ve been to is Sticks’n’Sushi at Henrietta Street, London.

We had the ‘Gala’, which, at £75, wasn’t cheap. The option included Beef Tataki, Edamame, Hotate Kataifi, Nigiri, Chicken with chili & teriyaki, lamb chop with miso herb butter and duck breast with panko & wasabi Caesar, so there was plenty to fill two people’s boots!

Bar review: THE JAMAICA WINE HOUSE (Monument)

During Friday nights around Bank, it is extremely difficult to find pubs or bars where one can sit down and have a proper conversation. Not altogether surprising, given that it represents the busiest day of the week in one of the most bustling parts of the capital. But still, I like to unwind after a long week without having to strain my voice to talk, and I was certain there must be some options.

Restaurant review: LA TROMPETTE (Chiswick)

Pre-La Trompette, the closest I’ve come to dining at a restaurant with a Michelin star was at Chapter One in Orpington. Chapter One used to have a Michelin star, until it was stripped of it (bit of a kick in the teeth). So I was both excited and curious about my foray into experiencing how the other 1% do live!

Unsurprisingly, given the level of prestige surrounding La Trompette, the service is second to none. The moment our water jug was anywhere below a third full, it would be topped up, and the waiters were always offering us more bread (it was too delicious to turn down!). The bread, fresh from the oven, was complemented with deliciously salted butter. 

Everything about the venue was pristine, which meant it fitted in well in the salubrious part of Chiswick.

In part because the bar is so low for me, because I’m used to the attentiveness-levels of central London waiters that can most politely be described as ‘laconic’, and in part because I’m too self-conscious, but the elevated customer service in La Trompette made me a tad uncomfortable. But I don’t begrudge the waiters and waitresses that; they were doing their jobs exactly as they should have. This one’s on me.

The food was far more ornately made and lovingly crafted than Theo Randall, another restaurant of comparable price to La Trompette. For my main, I had the loin of Cornish cod, gnocchetti, chanterelles, cavolo nero and hazelnut pesto.

Bathing the cod in foam was an inspired touch; it meant the seafood felt more textured, despite not actually having much fat on it. My only gripe was that the portion was too small, but people who can afford to dine at places like La Trompette on the regular will understand that it’s the quality of the cuisine, not the quantity. And the quality of the fish was spectacular; succulent, and brimming with flavour. The fact that there was so little of it made me cherish the meal more!

Despite it not being cheap, I can definitely understand the ‘You get what you pay for’ adage about La Trompette, which I most certainly did not feel about Ladurée and Theo Randall, two other expensive London restaurants which charged handsome prices for ugly food. If you feel like treating yourself, you could do much worse than this Michelin starred venue.

Grade: A-

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For more of my restaurant reviews, click here.

Restaurant review: BYRON (Farringdon)

Having visited the Covent Garden venue of Byron earlier this year (after I saw Patriot’s Day at the cinema), I thought I’d sample the Byron that was closest to my place of work, to compare notes.

I went on a Thursday night, and despite it not yet being the weekend, the place was grossly understaffed. Someone I was with ordered a beer and the waitress completely forgot about it until we prompted her.

Happily, the quality of the food didn’t differ hugely by central London location, meaning that the burgers still delivered. There was a hearty steak in the centre of the bun (default cooked medium rare, but you can stipulate otherwise) a few organic vegetables you wouldn’t find in your McDonald’s burger, as well as French fries that are tasty but palpably not coated in oil as would be the case in your local fast food chain.

Nonetheless, I don’t feel the overall dining experience at Byron Farringdon is worth the near-£20 bill you’d rack for up for a burger, side and a beer. The service was just too capricious for someone who is used to getting her order within 10-20 minutes of ordering, and the waitresses didn’t even have the grace to apologise for their mistakes.

The pot luck that is visiting burger joints in London continues.

Grade: C-

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For all my restaurant and bar reviews, click here.

The Pizza Express Master-post.

I've dined at Pizza Express a few times in the last month (pro tip: if you attend Pizza Express using Nectar or Tesco points, one point can earn you 4 times what the point would get you in store, so it makes sense to trade your points in for Pizza Express credits!), and I thought I'd share my thoughts on each of the individual pizzas/pastas/meals I tasted there!

Sloppy Giuseppe: the green pepper is super-spicy, and complements the beef well.  The pizza could have stood to have more cheese. 7/10.

Restaurant review: MA’ PLUCKER (Soho)

I went to Ma’ Plucker this week to catch up with two girlfriends. To that end, it was a decent venue to choose for a Monday night: not busy, and we picked a spot at the back, where there was enough space around us for us to put our bags (rather than let them get dirty on the floor, which is what would happen at somewhere like Barrafina).

The way that food is ordered under the ‘3 way chicken’ system is that you choose your chicken (rotisserie chipotle, crispy coated buttermilk, pulled slow and low or cheese flan), you choose a base (salad, bun or maple waffle) and finally a side (MP chicken skin gravy, chipotle chilli sauce, Kansas BBQ, herb dressing or maple chilli glaze), and then it’s all cooked and bought out for you.

Because I don’t like mixing sweet and savoury things, and I never order salad when I dine out as I think it’s a waste of money (you can literally buy a bag of cabbages and apply some dressing to it from Tesco for like £2), I had the house bun, with chicken breast. This was how it looked:

The chicken was arid AF

Restaurant review: TRULLO (Islington)

Situated very close to Highbury and Islington overground station is Trullo, a rustic, understated, yet very welcoming Italian restaurant.

Trullo has a reputation for its friendly staff, and indeed, the people who waited on us were absolutely lovely, helpfully giving tips whilst making sure we were fully stocked with regards to water. After completing one of our dishes (the pasta one), I asked to keep the plate on the table to polish off the sauce using bread, which they seemed perfectly cool with. I dig that; at a poncier place such plebbish behaviour might have earnt me and eye roll from the waiters.

For starter, we shared the mozzarella dish, pictured below: