Friday, August 19, 2011

Film review: THE INBETWEENERS MOVIE (Ben Palmer, 2011)

Anyone who watches the show knows the set up of the inbetweener boys: Will McKenzie, bespectacled, well-mannered but massively irritating, his best friend Simon, the most attractive of the clan but let down by his gelled-up hair and his relentless thirst for pricktease Carli D’Amato, who clearly doesn’t feel a fraction of the intensity he does to her, dim and slow-witted Neil, and Jay, chronically bullshitting about women he’s shagged, things he’s done, and er, women he’s shagged. 

The four boys’ ridiculously embarrassing travails through life made for three hugely entertaining series on Channel 4, albeit with the third series being discernibly less funny than the previous two, series three feeling a lot like a re-hash of the jokes they used before, but turned up to an eleven. Well, in the boys’ big-screen outing, they hit Greece on summer holiday, and now they have a brand new country to bring their individual brand of gross-out comedy to.

Perverse as it is, throughout the film, I was actually reminded a bit of the Sex and the City movies, except for four boys rather than women. Now, hear me out. Lots of people felt disappointed with Sex and the City the Movie, feeling it was just one drawn out episode, but that’s pretty much the same with the Inbetweeners Movie, and in both movies, I had a terrific time. 

Further more, as with Sex and the City, despite all the women being well into their forties (and Samantha considerably older), they all have their journeys to make, lessons to learn throughout the course of the film, whether that be about courage, sacrifice, fidelity, or love. The lessons in The Inbetweeners Movie, suffice to say, are a little less meaty, but there is a surprisingly uplifting feel to the way the four boys find redemption in their sweet/sick ways.

Leggy blonde Laura Haddock, who is no stranger to lads’ mags across the UK, leads the quartet of attractive girls who catch the four boys’ eyes. Each girl is pretty in her own way, particularly Laura Haddock (Will’s love interest Alison) with her astoundingly definded cheekbones and babydoll eyes and Tamla Kari, the pretty brunette who clearly likes Simon, despite the fact that he is still blindly going on about Carli, who, incidentally, is also at Malia. 

The way the four boys eff it up with their respective female counterparts is exactly like in an episode of the show, except, this being the big-screen, the writers Damon Beesley and Iain Morris were a little more generous to their four long-suffering leads. Nonetheless, all four boys make more than their share of horrendously cringe-inducing gaffes along the way.

This being The Inbetweeners, you can pretty much make a mental ticklist of things you’re going to hear jokes about: masturbation, anal sex, other weird sex practices, poo, the list is endless. The characters also get involved in embarrassing situations not involving bodily functions or fluids; witness Jay as he tries to drown a well-meaning-but-slightly-annoying-boy on holiday, or Will, King of putting his foot in it, when he argues with a handicapped girl’s dad over rights to a lounge chair. 

But the funniest scene in the entire film was, for me, the cringefest that was Neil, Will and Simon trying to get the girls’ attentions by dancing up to them. If you can call it dancing. I call it “sides splitting with laughter.”

Critics have hailed The Inbetweeners Movie prurient, juvenile, and relentlessly crude. They are right. Some of the jokes do fall flat, but the ones that are good are great, and coupled with a cheesy-cool soundtrack, some genuine drama (Simon and Jay fall out, like, omgz!!!!) and an arsenal of one-liners that will have you hiding behind your hands with embarrassment, The Inbetweeners Movie pretty much does what it says it would on the tin, with an added bonus of the unexpected but genuine satisfaction the viewer gets from seeing our four boys become men – sort of.

Grade: B+

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Three restaurant reviews: HÄAGEN-DAZS (Leicester Square), MCDONALD'S and CHOWKI (Piccadilly Circus)

I’ve been to a couple of eateries recently, so a few more reviews.

Häagen-Dazs (Leicester Square)
Häagen-Dazs’ flagship restaurant sits in Leicester Square, where tourists passing by will surely see it, their kids will get excited and ask to go in, and money will be spent, leaving lots of space for profit margins. 

And, if ice cream’s your thing, then you are in for a treat here; the dishes are lovingly prepared and beautifully ornamented, so much so that it almost balances out the overpricedness (but then again, this being Central London, overcharging is somewhat of a requisite). 

For the adults, Häagen-Dazs also do a delightful range of cocktails, in which healthy portions of alcohol are balanced out by slushed-up ice cream. The doses are lethal; I got tipsy after one cocktail! 

Service is okay, pretty much as can be expected for a busy dessert restaurant, without ever venturing into the regions of excellent, making Häagen-Dazs overall, a worthwhile experience, elevated, somewhat surprisingly, by the excellent quality of their drinks rather than their ice creams.

Grade: B+



McDonald's (various locations)


Absolutely ace. Everything in this photo came to just over a tenner, and both me and my brother were completely full - and delighted by the end of it. I cannot get enough of McDonald's! 

Grade: A

Chowki (Piccadilly Circus)


A passable curry eatery with some delicious meat dishes, but negated by waiters who weren't at all proactive at serving, and helped themselves to both a tip and a service charge. 

On the bright side, I ordered the chicken tikka masala, which I thought was thoroughly satisfying, if a little bit too small for the £10.50 price tag - I wolfed it down in a minute. Decent food, just not great service.

Grade: C-

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Emma's favourite song list, 2011.

It’s a yearly thing that I do – list my top 100 songs, and then see how much the list has changed. So, here we go for the 2011 edition!

(side note – unlike my taste in films and rather more like my taste in footballers, my taste in music is atrocious. R&B and girlband choons lamenting love are pretty much my life’s calling. But I like what I like, and I ain’t gonna front about it! So learn to deal.jpg :p)

01. Homecoming (Kanye West ft. Chris Martin)
02. Son of a Preacher Man (Dusty Springfield)
03. Angie Baby (Helen Reddy)
04. Rocky Raccoon (The Beatles)
05. Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright)
06. Alison (Elvis Costello)
07. Sinnerman (Nina Simone)
08. Sexy! No No No… (Girls Aloud)
09. Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie (Joanna Newsom)
10. Paper Planes (M.I.A.)
11. November Has Come (Gorillaz)
12. Samson (Regina Spektor)
13. Adia (Sarah McLachlan)
14. Run this Town (Rihanna, Jay-Z and Kanye West)
15. Power (Kanye West)
16. Untouchable (Girls Aloud)
17. Talk Show Host (Radiohead)
18. Lullaby (Dixie Chicks)
19. All These Things that I've Done (The Killers)
20. Love the Way You Lie Part II (Rihanna ft. Eminem)
21. Romeo and Juliet (Dire Straits)
22. Head over Heels (Tears for Fears)
23. Boys Don't Cry (The Cure)
24. Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy (Queen)
25. Defying Gravity (Idina Menzel)


26. Glory Box (Portishead)
27. Hey Stephen (Taylor Swift)
28. Empire State of Mind: Broken Down (Alicia Keys)
29. 2am (The Saturdays)
30. Fix Up Look Sharp (Dizzee Rascal)
31. Tiny Dancer (Elton John)
32. Baba O'Riley (The Who)
33. Wildwood Flower (June Carter Cash)
34. My Love (Sia)
35. The Loving Kind (Girls Aloud)
36. California Dreamin' (The Mamas and the Papas)
37. Chelsea Dagger (The Fratellis)
38. My Father's Gun (Elton John)
39. Seasons of Love (Idina Menzel)
40. What’s My Name? (Rihanna)
41. Hey Jude (The Beatles)
42. Brandy Alexander (Feist)
43. Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)
44. Love Affair (Regina Spektor)
45. I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea (Elvis Costello)
46. Dragon Queen (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
47. Under Pressure (Queen ft David Bowie)
48. Brown Eyes (Lady Gaga)
49. It Wouldn’t Have Made Any Difference (Todd Rundgren)
50. Clothes Off! (Gym Class Heroes)

51. Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears)
52. Underneath Your Clothes (Shakira)
53. Breathe (Taylor Swift)
54. Travelin' Soldier (Dixie Chicks)
55. Jesus Walks (Kanye West)
56. Numb Encore (Jay Z ft. Linkin Park)
57. Lovely Head (Goldfrapp)
58. I Wish I Knew How it Feels to Be Free (Nina Simone)
59. Shout (Tears for Fears)
60. She (Elvis Costello)
61. Clint Eastwood (Gorillaz)
62. Vincent (Don McLean)
63. Love will Tear us Apart (Joy Division)
64. Lullaby (The Cure)
65. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (The Beatles)
66. Sunshowers (M.I.A.)
67. Pennies in my Pocket (Emilio Estefan)
68. Jackson (Johnny and June Carter Cash)
69. Dream on (Aerosmith)
70. Wonderwall (Oasis)
71. Make You Feel My Love (Adele)
72. Airplanes part 2 (B.o.B, Hayley Williams & Eminem)
73. The Killing Moon (Echo and the Bunnymen)
74. Teenage Dream (Katy Perry)
75. Momentum (Aimee Mann)

76. The River (Joni Mitchell)
77. Golden Slumbers (K.D. Lang)
78. Hey Mama (Kanye West)
79. Braille (Regina Spektor)
80. Back to Black (Amy Winehouse)
81. O Saya (A.R. Rahman ft. M.I.A)
82. Bossy (Kelis)
83. Chillin' (WALE ft Lady Gaga)
84. Take a Bow (Rihanna)
85. Lean on Me (Bill Withers)
86. Ignition (Remix) (R. Kelly)
87. The Call (Regina Spektor)
88. Machine Gun (Portishead)
89. Twentyfourseven (Artful Dodger)
90. Strict Machine (Goldfrapp)
91. Motivation (Kelly Rowland ft. Lil’ Wayne)
92. Too Young (Phoenix)
93. The Next Messiah (Jenny Lewis)
94. You've got the Dirtee Love (Florence and the Machine ft Dizzee Rascal)
95. No More (3LW)
96. Feel Good inc (Gorillaz)
97. We Will Rock You (Queen)
98. Like I Love You (Justin Timberlake)
99. Call the Shots (Girls Aloud)
100. Forget You (Cee Lo Green)

By artist:
Kanye: 6
Girls Aloud: 4
Rihanna: 4
The Beatles: 3
Queen: 3
Gorillaz: 3
Elvis Costello: 3

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Restaurant review: CACCIARI'S (South Kensington)

In a cosy cafe-alike in Old Brompton road sits Cacciari's, a cosy and utterly likeable Italian restaurant. The waitress serving us was lovely; and such was their hospitality that we were gifted a free Bellini by the end of the night; always a welcome treat. I sampled almost half the cocktail menu, having the mojito, the Bloody Mary, the margherita and the Bellini, and each cocktail was loving prepared and tasted great, in particular the margherita, which was a lot more peppery than how I'm used to, but it was all the better for it.

Food-wise, I was almost knocked out of my seat with how reasonable the prices were, not least as we were in Kensington, one of the most wealthiest parts of London (and trust me, plenty of other restaurants in Chelsea & Ken are more than happy to ride on that SW-postcode and use it as an excuse to churn out crap food). 

For starters, much like at Theo Randall, I had mozerella and tomato, but unlike at Theo Randall (£12 for a tiny plate meant that it was essentially charging its customers £6 a bite), the £9 price tag at Cacciari's was justified, a generous-helping was given of the cheese and tomato, with cute little pans holding it all together. So far, so excellent.

For the main course, I had Lasagna alla Bolognese. Lasagne's always a tricky one in restaurants because it can turn out either too starchy, or not full enough. In Cacciari's, it was the perfect balance between the two, and the parmesan cheese given to us in a little pot was a more-than-perfect supplement to it. The fusion of meat, cheese and all the other flavours in my lasagne rendered it absolutely delicious, and, with a cold Peroni beer to drink with it, it was a near-on flawless meal. 

Having been on holiday in Italy last year, the meal I had in Cacciari's last Friday was genuinely the closest thing I've tasted to proper Italian cooking since then.

There was a little beer garden behind the restaurant as well as chairs in front of it, meaning that customers get their choice of places to sit to suit their mood. Whilst lacking the grandeur that many of the other South Kensington restaurants parade about, Cacciari's humble surroundings worked to its advantage; it was a thoroughly unpretentious, value-for-money place to eat in.

The greatest thing about Cacciari's is that it fully goes by the merit of its food and drink, rather than any frilly ornaments. If you remember Theo Randall, which went out of its way to show off how great it was even though the food was less-than-brilliant, Cacciari's is a delightful counterpart; the chairs and glasses in the restaurant are all from Ikea. The setting is cheap and cheerful, and as such, allows the restaurant to focus its attention on the thing that actually matters in a restaurant - the quality of the food. 

Cacciari's is the closest thing you're going to get to finding a bargain in Kensington; SW7 heaven.

Grade: A

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here.

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Restaurant Review: THEO RANDALL (Mayfair)

In London’s glittering Mayfair sits Theo Randall, a much-lauded Italian restaurant with big-name dishes and even bigger price tags. I had the (dubious) honour of getting to eat there for my friend’s birthday, and, as it was her birthday, it meant someone else was picking up the tab for our meal. So, whilst the prices were extortionate, the best thing that can be said for that place is that at least not a single penny of their bank-breaking bill fell on my back. Ha.

The whole time I was at Theo Randall, I just thought of the Friends episode in which Monica and Phoebe fall out over Phoebe singing her (admittedly bad) songs outside Monica's pretentious, overpriced restaurant. Phoebe makes one jibe about the portions being so tiny that one would need a monocle just to be able to see them, and this fully applies to the food at Theo Randall. For the starter, I ordered mozerella and tomatos, expecting a healthy-sized dish to match the meaty £12 price tag. This was what the reality was:

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I mean, I know it's the recession and that, but surely we can do a little bit better than that?! My friend had it worse; she ordered a £15 starter, for which she got a lemon, a smidgeon of mustard and some weird green stuff:
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Not impressed at all.

As for the food itself, it tasted fine, some dishes had far too much flavour added to it, others were too dry and bitter. For my main, I had spaghetti with lobster. The lobster was cooked to perfection but the spaghetti was woeful: bland, tasteless and even more stale than a week old Pot Noodle. All that for £34 ladies and gentleman! What a bargain!
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The best part of the meal was far and away the dessert, for which I had white peach sorbet ice cream. It was delicious, the perfect line between rich and sweet. Once again, however, the £9 price tag was ridiculous; you can get a much more delicious plate of icecream for cheaper in the actual Haagen Dasz restaurant in Leicester Square.

Thus, for the sake of you and the mortgage that you'll have to take out just to fund a meal here, I say to you: of all the over-priced, overrated restaurants in London's west end, NEVER walk into this one. It may be the last thing you do, financially.

Grade: F

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Film review: HORRIBLE BOSSES (Seth Gordon, 2011)

Childhood friends Nick, Dale and Kurt, once known as the “three musketeers” are still friends into their adulthood, and meet up on a daily basis for a drink and meal at their local bar. Trouble is, whilst their friendship thrives, their work lives leave a lot to be desired. 

Nick (Arrested Development’s Jason Bateman) works in a corporate environment, with a psychotic boss Dave Harken (played by Kevin Spacey) whom gets arsey if he is so much at 2 minutes late – after 6am. In one scene, Harken entraps him into necking scotch – at 8 in the morning. Nick despises his boss, but puts up with his bullying, knowing – or thinking – that if he takes the shit for a while longer, he will receive the promotion to VP that he has so hardly worked for. That hope, we later find out, turns out to be completely misguided.

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