Sunday, December 07, 2014

Bar review: ORIOLE BAR (Farringdon)

My favourite TV show of all time, Sex and the City, has a lot to answer for. Of the four lead females, the one I recognise myself in the most is definitely Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker with considerable wit and flair). Carrie doesn’t take break-ups well, tends to fall hard in love with men who are no good for her, and is a writer. (Admittedly, I write for a blog, she writes for a state-wide newspaper, but still).

Furthermore, it was only because Carrie loved Cosmopolitans so much that I began drinking Cosmopolitans, and if I am ever in a cocktail bar, that’s my go-to drink. At Oriole bar, ordering a Cosmo would be failing to make the most of your opulent surroundings. The bar offers weird and wonderful concoctions featuring the most out there ingredients, including egg yolk, tobacco liquor and, er… dust.

The menu, which is divided by parts of the world (which inspired the various cocktails), is in itself, longer than most children’s books. I’m not being funny, but at 8pm when you just wanna get drunk with your girlfriends so you can trash-talk the clown men in your life (couldfillabook.jpg), who’s got time to read a whole MSc project-length??

That’s not to say that the drinks, and the food, sparse in quality as it was, wasn’t well presented.  Looks-wise, it certainly turned my head:-


That being said, the ostentatious presentation comes at a cost in terms of practicality. As the night progressed and I lost control of my motor neurones, I tipped over my awkwardly-shaped glass. Thankfully this was at the end and only ice cube spilt, but some of them went on the poor lady sat next to me. Hardly ideal.

The barfood was equally impractical. The chorizo, photographed below, whilst delicious, was I wolfed it up in about three bites. I've been curious about what exactly quinoa is since I saw Gone Girl  two months ago and Ben Affleck was mocked for thinking it was kind of fish. Turns out that what it actually is is some bland-ass flavourless pseudo-cereal concoction. Boring, and the pittance of salsa sauce put on it hardly merited the £7.50 price. That's £2.50 per fritter. Would you pay £2.50 for something you can barely see?!



Overall, I found Oriole too pretentious, and if I’m complaining about something being too pretentious, you know you’ve got problems. I guess I’m just too direct a person. I love cocktails, but I like to have two or three different alcoholic ingredients, a few mixers, and boom. And I’d rather my mixer didn’t include something that could give me an allergy!

Oriole bar is more of a status symbol than it is a viable drinking hole. People would bring guests here just to show that they can; that they can afford to throw away £14 on a cocktail with about 3 alcohol units in, tops.

I’d rather have Cosmopolitan, thanks.

Grade: C

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Bar review: BAR AMÉRICAIN (Soho)

Tying in with the 1920s, prohibition era of the bar, Bar Américain is one of those ‘you have to know it’s there to go there’ places, tucked in neatly behind Brassiere Zedel and with no discernible clues from the outside that it exists at all. Sights of women in flapper dresses and men in black and white suits suggests this is a popular go-to place for hosting Great Gatsby-style parties.

The cocktails taste delicious, and are very intricately crafted, thus almost justifying the extortionate rates. My personal favourite is the Chrysler, which will get you drunk and satisfy the tastebuds – a truly rare commodity amongst cocktails these days (the cocktails in Slug and Lettuce taste nice but have barely any alcohol, whereas cocktails that are overloaded with booze end up tasting like horrible, cough medicinesque concoctions). The waiters are very attentive and bring you a small amount of popcorn to chomp on whilst you’re enjoying your drinks.



The lighting in Bar Américain is dark, too dark for my liking, and the décor a little out there for me. The seating was certainly extremely comfortable – plush, American-style furniture. 

All in all, it’s one of the more elegant places I’ve gotten inebriated in, but also by far one of the most expensive. Just so you know what I’m talking about, a cocktail you can drink in about 5 minutes clocks in at £12 (cheaper options are the classic cocktails for £9, but why shell out for something you’ve tasted before if you’re here for the adventure?). 

Don’t act like I never told you.

Grade: B

For more of my bar reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your bar, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Restaurant review: LAL QILA (Goodge Street)

I had a cheeky peruse of TripAdvisor after I went to Lal Qila and prior to beginning my review. I was absolutely gobsmacked to see it was ranked 52nd of all the restaurants in London. Punters must have gone to a different restaurant to me.

Alarm bells rang as soon as I asked if the waiters could hang my coat up for me. Imagine my surprise (and chagrin) to learn that they didn’t have pegs to hang coats up on! What’s the point in having such lavish interiors (as Lal Qila certainly did), if you don’t even have a basic necessity such as coat hangers?



With my mac slung over the back of my chair, we turned to ordering drinks. I distinctly remember ordering a beer, because that's my modus operandi at restaurants, but the waiters seemed to decide to ignore me entirely, and serve me a Coca Cola, under the guise that that was what I asked for. I know damn well what I asked for, and that definitely wasn’t it. When I asked for the correct drink to be presented to me, the waiter went about a bout of trying to re-write history, and convince me that that was what I ordered. It was giving gaslighting.

Now, to the food. To its credit, it definitely wasn’t the worst Indian restaurant I’ve ever been to – that would be Tandoori Nights. But it sure as hell wasn’t close to coming to the best. I had a mellow cheese-infused dish, which was inoffensive but also unexciting. The rice was soft but tasteless and the Na’an bread utterly uninspiring. All in all, Bland with a capital B.

I have pored over the TripAdvisor page and it definitely links the same address of the Lal Qila I went to. Perhaps the 52nd best restaurant in London had to be accessed by walking into a wardrobe in the place I went to, Narnia-style. Because the place I went to definitely wasn’t it.

Grade: D

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Restaurant review: OLIVELLI (Southwark)

Now, call me a cleanliness nut, but, if I see any restaurant with a food hygiene score of anything other than 5, I judge them internally straight away. Harsh, perhaps, but I just don’t think it’s so much for ask, given the extortionate London prices restaurants charge these days, for meals that more often than not turn out to be disappointing, that the sanitation around the ingredients is nothing less than perfect. Olivelli had a grading of 4 for its food hygiene, yet I’d heard good things about it, including that celebrities of Hollywood’s golden era liked dining here. Something, clearly, had to give.


For starter, we ordered antipasto all’italiana, which had some flat notes (the rectangular blob was a bit tasteless), but the assortments of meats completed each other. I would have seen more in the way of dips for £16.95, and it could perhaps have been presented a little more artistically, but overall, it both served to treat the customer to a little taste of Italy, and whet one’s appetite tantalisingly.

For my main, I opted for spigola all’acqua pazza, or for the non-Italian speaking amongst you (don't worry, I just lifted it from the restaurant's website ;) ), seabass. It was priced at £16.45, but honestly, I have had much better seafood dishes in my work canteen for £3.30 (especially this fisherman's pie which I still dream about). The potatos that came with them were stodgy and there weren't enough of them to make up my dinnertime requirement of carbs, the cherry tomatos were Tesco produce at best, and the fact that there was bone in the fish, and we weren’t alerted it, was a huge problem as I’d already had two glasses of wine and a large beer by this point. I had to draw on every fibre of my drunken concentration to check that I wasn’t ingesting any bones. Extremely poor form from the restaurant.

photo IMG_20141010_222114_zps9087769a.jpg


All in all, I’m at a loss to explain why such esteemed actors liked to frequent this place, which definitely likes to package itself as better than it is. It almost fooled me with the starters, but after the mains, I realised this place was all namedrop and no bite. The fact that it scored 4/5 on food hygiene, I realised, oversold it; that’s by far the highest rating it’ll ever be getting.

Grade: D

Friday, November 07, 2014

Selfie with bae.

 Hat: Chelsea football club
Hoodie: University of Bath
Earrings: China
Glasses: Red or Dead

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Restaurant review: NIZUNI JAPANESE RESTAURANT (Charlotte Street)

Situated on Charlotte Street, a road that is both close to my University and boasting some great restaurants (the previously reviewed BiBimBap being one of them), Nizuni is an elegant, dimly lit Japanese restaurant which serves a range of Japanese dishes, with sushi being its main draw.

We ordered two different sets of sushi, a nizuni set (in honour of the name of the restaurant, I thought it would be rude not to) as well as a 10-piece sushi selection. Both were utterly delicious (great quantities of fish and the sauces were tantilising), but frightfully overpriced. The 22-piece nizuni set came to £39, which averages to almost £2 per individual small piece, which, just by a visual inspection of below, you can see, are accomplishedly cooked and presented, but certainly not the gold that such a price tag would imply.



Although the waiters were extremely helpful and obliging, there was a trainee member of staff working that day who got our orders confused, and thus, delayed us getting dinner. I’ll be generous and not dock the restaurant too many points for that as I could see her intentions were good, but her mind was jumbled. For her sake, I hope her memory has improved since our visit.

The alcohol selection wasn’t as expensive as the food, and we had a whole bottle of Japanese rice win between us and a beer apiece. Both tasted great.

Aside from the marvellous Hi Sushi, I am yet to visit a sushi place in London that offers good value for money. This certainly hasn’t changed having visited Nizuni. That said, the food was certainly high quality, and if you have the time, do check out their website, which is one of the coolest I've seen of a London restaurant so far! (If only they'd saved the money on their web designer and spent it on lowering prices of their food, I would have an even more favourable view of the place).

Grade: B

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com


Retrospective OOTD: standing in front of the Bastille


Sunglasses: Rayban
Earrings: gift from China
Necklace: Swarovski
Miniskirt: hand me down from friend
Bag: Primark
Cardigan: Marks & Spencer
friendship bracelet (barely visible): Mango


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Restaurant review: LA BALLERINA (Covent Garden)

Situated behind a gorgeous statue of a ballerina itself, this Italian restaurant is usually frequented by theatre-goers just before they’re catching their show. I ate here under because I’d been walking for a while around Covent Garden, quite aimlessly, and was hungry. Not quite as cultured a motive for visiting it, but, with so few people inside, I wanted a bit of peace and quiet, it seemed a good location.

The food, truth be told, was pedestrian at best. The best steak I’ve had in London remains Hawksmoor, and I didn’t expect the steak in a normal restaurant to rival that of a specific steak joint, but, even the steak from Gaucho, which I had a few problems with, was better than this. It was a struggle to finish the steak here, as it was chewy, borderline uncooked. 

The vegetables it was presented with had an awfully school dinnerish look about it (see below), and the sauce, though plentiful (it arrived in its own pot), was a little tasteless and had to be lathered onto the steak in multitudes to have its effect. The one saving grace of the meal was the spaghetti, which was delicious, particularly coupled with some parmesan cheese, which the waiters gave generously.



And it’s the waiters at the this place why I am reluctant to give it an altogether terrible review. They were attentive, helpful and polite throughout - a vast difference from the majority of snooty waiters at most London eateries I’ve visited, who are only waiters through circumstance because they couldn’t make it as an actor/photographer/writer, and see fit to take that baggage out on the clients. There was absolutely none of that there. They had great tact - knew when to leave us alone - but were approachable and chatty. I liked them a lot.

But, alas, you can’t polish a turd, and for all their best efforts, there was a reason why there were about two families dining here when I first looked in. La Ballerina has a whole load of unnecessary policies in place that don’t make things easy for their customers - for example, you can only order wine by the glass if it’s the house wines (ick), anything more elegant has to be ordered by the bottle. What if we don’t want to consume a whole bottle of wine?! This place is practically pushing people into alcoholism. 

And let me tell you, I don’t need any help in that department.

So, from the outside, it may seem appealing to go inside a quiet place where you won’t be bothered and there aren’t many people. But next time I see somewhere like this, I will double-think. Just why is it, that this place is so empty in the first place?

Grade: D

If you'd like me to review your restaurant/bar/pub, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Retrospective outfit of the day: by the Moulin Rouge.


Cardigan: Primark
Dress: New Look
Belt: Mango
Bag: Primark
Boots: New Look
Sunglasses: Rayban

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Retrospective OOTD: standing in front of the Eiffel Tower.


Cardigan: Mango
Shirt: Hollister
Jeans: Marks and Spencer
Boots: New Look
Sunglasses: Rayban
Bag: Primark

Here's a close up. It would be a decent picture... had I not stupidly over-applied lipgloss on my top lip. Bit cringe.


Earrings: street market in China
Necklace: Swarovski


Sunday, October 19, 2014

Retrospective OOTD: clubbing in Bristol

(the 'day' in question being a few Saturdays ago)


Heart-shaped hoop earrings: River Island
Boob tube: Dorothy Perkins
Black skirt: hand-me-down from a friend
heels: Topshop

Restaurant Review: PING PONG (Southbank)

Being Chinese, I’ve frequented my fair share of dim sum joints. As with all Chinese restaurants, the real telltale sign of the quality of a place is the proportion of the clientele there who are actually from the motherland. 

On a quick look over the people in Ping Pong, more than 70% were non-Asian, which should have struck alarm bells immediately. However, the place had been booked for a friend’s birthday, so it would have been ridiculously rude to object, so I thought I’d give Ping Pong the benefit of the doubt and try to make the best of a unfavourable situation.

And situations don’t get much more unfavourable than this. Check out the food below:


Spring rolls: pedestrian, stick-in-the oven job.
Chicken and mushroom rice pot: barely any chicken at all. Rice was borderline stale.
Seafood dumpling: too much carrot, not enough seafood
Crispy prawn ball: impossible to consume without the 'ball' falling apart, and as with other meat dishes, hardly any prawn in it.

And these were the best of the lot. Suffice to say, not only was my appetite not satisfied with the crap on display here, but it nearly put me off Chinese food.

On the upside, the cocktails were nice, but the length it took for them to make them, plus the price and lack of Happy Hour were a huge deterrent.


Got any enemies? Send them down Ping Pong's way. Otherwise, save your money and your tastebuds. Avoid this dive like the plague.

Grade: F

Friday, October 17, 2014

Two mini-reviews: MAPS TO the STARS (David Cronenberg, 2014) and '71 (Yann Demange, 2014)

Maps to the Stars (David Cronenberg, 2014)



Hollywood, as painted by the twisted paintbrush of David Cronenberg, with two fantastic turns from Julianne Moore and Mia Wasikowska. 

Moore really gives it her all as fading actress Havana Segrand who’s increasingly losing her grip on reality as she fights tooth and nail to play the role her dead mother (who sexually abused her as a child) had in a reprise of the film. 

It’s an unglamorous role, but she’s extremely courageous to tackle it with the dedication that she does. Wasikowska plays an equally disturbed girl with prominent burn marks on face, exiled to Florida after a childhood incident where she burned down her family’s house, she’s back in LA and lands herself a job as Segrand’s ‘chore whore’. 

The rest of cast are all apt, playing their dislikeable characters with suitable panache. Whilst the acting is excellent, however, the depiction of Hollywood was a bit too convoluted to be fully believable. There were black, bleak laughs in almost every scene, and overall, the experience is magnetic (and I'm definitely not complaining about R-Prattz eyecandy), but, just a bit too mean-spirited for me to fully appreciate.

6.5/10

’71 (Yann Demange, 2014)



I’m not really big on history or army movies, so this one took me by complete surprise. Gary Hook (Jack O’Connell, by far the most talented alumni of the Skins cast), a young Derbyshire soldier, gets accidentally left on the mean streets of Belfast when his unit flee a street. 

He’s left to fend for himself, amongst hostility towards soldiers from the residents of the city as well double-crossing and duplicity amongst people supposedly working for the same side. 

The two MVPs of this film are the cinematography (hand-held cameras that contribute every bit to the urgency and tension of Hook’s increasingly precarious situation) and Jack O’Connell, who, despite having a character who, on paper is seemingly quite paint-by-numbers, actually manages to imbue his soldier with empathy and emotion, so that we feel every inch of dread that he does. 

The efficient direction and score suit the film well as well. With a running time under 100 minutes, it’s refreshing to watch an action movie which commands your attention for the full running time and doesn’t outstay its welcome.

7/10

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Apprentice series 10, episode 1: Ten Years of Selling

Back for its tenth year, the British Apprentice kicks off with some real chumps. One brags ‘People think I’m a nice guy… really I’m just scheming behind their back’, which is exactly the kind of image you want to convey on national television. Another whines that his absolute worst nightmare is a £50,000 salary and a Toyota. Make no mistake, we’ve got a bunch of egotistical morons on our hands, and as it’s an anniversary year, Alan Sugar enlists not 16 but 20 contestants to start with.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Book review: DO YOU COME HERE OFTEN? (Alexandra Potter)

I read Alexandra Potter's chicklit novel when I was on holiday in Paris this weekend. It was a diverting read that killed some time when the weather outside was rainy; just the right level of froth for a girls' holiday, but didn't contribute anything substantial to the genre.



Grace Fairley and Jimi Malik, two Mancunian teenagers, were at school together, and hated each others' guts. Naturally, a chance encounter on A-level results day leading Grace to defend Jim's honour from racists at a bus stop mean they fall into each other's arms. However, Jimi's womanising bravado gets the better of him and he never calls Grace after taking her virginity, leaving her brokenhearted.

13 years on, both are living in London and have gotten over it. Grace is engaged to Spencer, one of London's top divorce lawyers and Jimi is a week away from marrying Kylie, a skinny cokehead he's fallen in lust with and seen fit to ditch his lothario ways for. Another chance encounter (this book has more than I could forgive, even with my "suspend the element of disbelief" hat on), this time on Grace's 31st birthday in an Elephant & Castle restaurant, throws both of their future plans, not to mention everything they thought they knew about themselves, into disarray.

Alexandra Potter's writing style is jaunty and amusing, if not particularly gripping, and at times her attempts to play it earthy just reek of desperation to be funny. The Grace/Jimi story is the focal plotline, around which a few other subplots dance around, including accounts of Rhian, Grace's single mother best friend's misguided attempts to find love. 

In one of the subplots, Maggie, Grace's older colleague discovers she has breast cancer, and Potter writes poignantly when conveying Maggie suffering a life-threatening setback, yet trying to sugarcoat it with her natural bubbliness. The descriptions of and social commentary on parts of London are also on point, and raised a chuckle in the Londoner in me.

However, the rest of the novel is so saccharine and predictable, not to mention the dialogue being so paint-by-numbers regarding gender roles (Grace spends the whole novel whining about Spencer not setting a date, and a conversation between Grace and Jimi about sex is woefully gender stereotypical), that I simply couldn't take it seriously. 

Potter is a writer with good intentions and some flair, but truth be told, I saw how this novel was going to end the second I read the blurb. And as much as I love my chicklit fiction, I don't quite love it THAT blatant.

Grade: D

Thursday, October 09, 2014

Film review: GONE GIRL (David Fincher, 2014)

Gillian Flynn’s 2012 novel on which the film is based and for which she wrote for screen herself, was ubiquitous on the Tube throughout 2012 and to a lesser extent, last year. It opens with a quote from playwright Tony Kushner that reads: “Love is the world’s infinite mutability; lies, hatred, murder even, all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose smelling faintly of blood.” Fincher’s big-screen adaptation of the book captures the essence of this quote perfectly, slowly biding its time to illustrate the thin love between love and hate, and how, when it’s crossed, marriage morphs into deadly bouquet of barbed wire.



Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck), a writer who lost his job in the recession in NYC, returned to his hometown of North Carthage, Missouri with his beautiful and decorated wife, Amy (Rosamund Pike), a Manhattanite who suffered a similar plight. On the afternoon of their fifth wedding anniversary, he returns home to find she’s missing. A table has been upended and glass shatters are all over his dining room floor. He calls the local cops to investigate, but events transpire and soon he becomes their prime suspect.

Meanwhile, the film gives us Amy’s side of the story in the form of diary entries. The early entries are just as saccharine as described in the novel, from the flirtatious banter the couple first exchange at a party, to the way Nick poses as a journalist at a press event for ‘Amazing Amy’, the book series of Amy’s parents which is based on her childhood, to propose for her. This latter detail was actually missing from the novel, but played out on the big screen, has an appropriate Hollywoodesque touch which shows just how photogenic the couple are, not to mention the potential in their relationship.

However, as Amy notes herself, the true test of a marriage comes when the recession hits, they are both laid off their writing jobs (Nick, for a men’s magazine, Amy, putting her Ivy League Masters-level education to good use constructing personality quizzes). Nick’s mother is diagnosed with cancer and they move back to Missouri, a decision she resents not being consulted about. Further diary entries reveal Amy wanted a baby but Nick didn’t, and when pestered about it, he turned violent. The diary ends with Amy wanting to buy a gun, fearing her husband may murder her.

These entries, however, jar with Nick’s side of the story. He protests that he’s the one who wanted and a baby and she was opposed, and the spending habits of his described by her, non-existent. But it doesn’t look good for Nick. Evidence is mounting up against him: credit card bills for expensive golf clubs, a neighbour who claims to be best friends with Amy even though he never even saw them speak, and most damningly, a pert 20-something mistress.

With a running time of 2 and a half hours, Fincher takes his time telling the story, but even then, a whole lot of detail was cut from the novel, so it would be churlish to complain. Practically every scene is a necessity. His leads are both very good, perhaps surprisingly so.

That Ben Affleck has two Oscars to his name is a piece of trivia that surprises many, given the quantity of clunkers on his CV, but in the unlikable, unreliable role of Nick, he’s spot-on. As the main detective examining the case Rhonda Boney (Kim Dickens, doing the character justice with her brand of non-nonsense girl power) notes, we can’t tell if Nick is saying the wrong things because he’s actually that dumb. Affleck imbues Nick with just the right amount of moral ambiguity for us to hope that he didn’t do it.

As the eponymous lead, Rosamund Pike absolutely knocks it out of the park. It might initially jar to see an actress so used to being typecast as the pretty airhead a la Jane Bennett (in one of Nick and Amy’s happier days, they romp in a library, and Pride and Prejudice is mentioned, a quasi-meta touch) in such a villainous role, but it is my belief that this is the part Pike has waited her entire life for, and she seizes it with aplomb. Whether she’s Amy the glamorous Upper East Side princess with the unwanted mild celebrity status, or Amy the poor shunned housewife fearing for her life, she’s never less than fully convincing, which makes the starkness of (what we perceive to be) Nick’s lies ever the more brazen.

In my favourite scene of the entire film, Pike's line-reading on Amy’s ‘Cool Girl’ monologue is fantastic, and one of the parts of the book that benefited from a big-screen translation; that whole sequence was a thrill to watch. The venom in Pike’s voice there was so real it was almost contagious. It was rumoured that Fincher cast Pike on hearing she was an only child, just like Amy, and perhaps it was that little touch that gave Pike the extra mileage to really bare her teeth. Channelling Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, she's deliciously evil when she needs to be, yet unsettlingly unreadable at others.

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ eerie score suits the creepy vibe of the film perfectly, although I did feel they tried a bit too hard with the sound effects to unsettle the audience. The supporting cast are uniformly impressive bar Emily Ratajkowski (aka the hot brunette from the Blurred Lines video), who plays the mistress as a caricature. Admittedly we are never supposed to warm to Andie in the novel, but I did get the sense that she was whiny, misguided girl acting in her best interests there. In the film, Ratajkowski does nothing but rack up the horny college student stereotype.

It’s a bum-note that is fortunately drowned out by excellence elsewhere, especially Carrie Coon as Margot, Nick’s twin sister (balancing sisterly love with a gritty determination to avoid a self-pity parade) and Tyler Perry as the legal eagle who specialises in defending shady husbands Tanner Bolt (slick, confident and exactly the kind of man you need if you were in Nick’s dire straits). I was extremely excited to see How I Met Your Mother’s Barney Stinson on the cast list when the film was in production, but sadly Neil Patrick Harris is somewhat underused.

The film covers a lot of base, examining marriage, revenge, the media, to name but a few. In lesser hands, Gone Girl could have been a hot mess, but David Fincher knows how to tell a story better than anyone, being the man who even made even the tale of Facebook an engrossing one.

There’s plenty of dark laughs to be had in Nick and Amy’s journey, and ironically reinforces the point that hell hath no fury like a woman scored. Flynn’s handling of her own material is superb; trimming the fat, adding tweaks here and there, but retaining tone of misandry present the book. The end product improves on the novel to make for a disturbing, entertaining and hugely enjoyable cinematic experience.

9/10

Monday, September 29, 2014

Pub review: THE HAMPSHIRE HOG (Hammersmith)

Not too far away from Ravenscourt Park tube station sits The Hampshire Hog, a pub which is famed for having one of the best beer gardens in London. And, indeed, it is a delight to sit outside, bask in the sunny weather (not that there’s much of that in Britain any more) and get drunk with friends. The place itself is easy to find and the drinks that come on tap are good at not for too extortionate a price. Furthermore, during Happy Hour, it’s 2-4-1 on cocktails, and they come in delightful little jam jars that really add to the rustic, old English vibe of the place. A jug of Pimm's during Happy Hour is £13, which is reasonable given it serves several helpings, not to mention is just an ace drink all round. In short, alcohol was priced much more kindly than The Grange, despite being situated in a swankier location.



So far, so good.

However, as with many a promising joint in London, The Hampshire Hog was completely let down by its lacklustre staff. That, and the food menu, which added nothing to this place’s reputation as a gastropub. There were barely any chips with most of the main meals, despite them boasting on the menu that the food ‘came with chips’, and we ordered chips individually, then had to prod the waitress no less than three times about them before they arrived for us, roughly an hour after we ordered it.

This could all be forgiven if they were the only places where The Hampshire Hog went wrong. But, we went in quite a large group (it was a colleagues’ leaving do) and by the end of the night many of us were hugely intoxicated. The management at the pub decided to take advantage of our inebriation by trying to pull a fast one, and charge us for things we didn’t order. 

I was one of the last there, and as such, I knew who had ordered what as people had given me their money to pay before they left. So I knew our table definitely didn’t order four sets of chips. I complained and the rapidity at which the management returned me my money indicated that they knew they’d been found out.

Oh, and another word of warning: there’s a 12.5% service charge on food at this place that is conveniently omitted on the website and the menu itself. For the sake of transparency, I thought it fair I let you all know.

The Hampshire Hog is a great place to have a few drinks and unwind. However, if you plan on having food with your drink, prepare to be swindled.

Grade: D

For more of my pub reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your bar, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Thursday, September 25, 2014

It's things like this that remind me why I love film.


I read Gone Girl voraciously over two days around this time last year, and was obsessed with it. An amazing spin on the he said, she said, with two narrators, each as unreliable as the other. When I heard David Fincher was going to be directing the big screen adaptation, I prayed and prayed that his vision wouldn't be impeded by box office requirements, but I figured he isn't the sort of director who would let money get in the way of making his picture. And viola... Gone Girl, an extremely high-profile 2014 release, with an 18 rating (going by the comments directed at the BBFC account, many was surprised by the decision).

I'm delighted. No having to watch it with brat teenagers, and more importantly, Fincher got to carry his vision through! Win win!

By the by, in the BBFC insight, it transpires that the film also has several strong sex scenes, and breast nudity. Me's betting that Emily Ratajkowski, aka the stunning brunette off the Blurred Lines video, definitely gets her baps out. That's all very well, but she'd better make a convincing Andie whilst she's at it.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

OOTD: drinks in a beer garden in west London with colleagues.


Cardigan: H&M
Dress: Monsoon
Belt: River Island
Ring: Accessorize
Stud earrings (barely visible): Accessorize
Purse: Accessorize

The pub was The Grange in Ealing. The beer garden was absolutely lovely, extremely comfortable and spacious. However, drinks were frigging extortionate. The pint in my hand was £4.80, which was just about tolerable, but my friend had a double gin + tonic, which came to £8.15! Central London prices in zone 3, not happy about that. The cheapest packs of crisps were £1.40, which is just beyond a joke.

However, if you are graced with more money than sense and want a nice garden to chill in, this is the place for you.

Grade: C

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Chelsea Girl.

Last Saturday, I got to sport my new Chelsea strip at the home game vs Leicester. Being the snap-happy young woman I am, I thought I'd post a picture on the blog.


Earrings: Monsoon
Headband: Accessorize
Bag: Primark
Ring: Accessorize
Jeans: Oasis

I'm wearing an uncharacteristically feminine nail polish in the picture. It's this shade:


I had to overlook my dislike of Rita Ora to buy it, but I think it's totally worth it! The longevity is surprisingly long, and it's just a gorgeous, muted pink.


Restaurant review: THE DINER: (Soho)

Continuing with new-found hobby of frequenting Soho for American brunch joints, I turned my attention to The Diner. Situated in the extremely happening Ganton Street/Carnaby Street area, it’s just a few minutes walk from Oxford Street, and thus, had it been a hit, would have been a go-to place for me to replenish my energy before doing weekend clothes shopping, which as you all know, is an activity that is oh so stamina-quenching.

Unfortunately for The Diner, whatever treats their menu boasted were all negated by the horrific service we experienced there. We had one blonde guy, who looked like a Poundland Liam Hemsworth. My friend asked if we could sit near the back, when the restaurant was empty, and he just barked at her, ‘no, you sit here’. 

Furthermore, whenever I called him to bring us water, or that we were ready to order, he couldn’t hide his look of utter annoyance, as if he couldn’t believe the audacity of these twats to DARE to pull him away from his friend who he was chatting to, to order their food. To add insult to injury, The Diner helps itself to a handsome 12.5% mandatory tip for service on the food bill. Hilarious, given how we all but had to serve ourselves, with a waiter that was clearly pressed at his life decisions to drop out of fashion school, and chose to take it out on us.

Pictures of the food and drink I had is below.




The dish itself was good, a mishmash of many of my favourite things, and the drink was deliciously sweet, if a little overpriced at £4.20. But to be honest, this place could have the best food in London and I wouldn’t go back again because of that insufferable waiter.

Grade: D

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Update: 19th October 2014.

I went to The Diner in Shoreditch on Saturday. Whilst the menu and the prices were identical, the altogether more cheerful, less uppity service from the waiters and waitresses attending to us means I'm now happy to bump this place up to a B+. What a difference some good service makes, eh?


The eggs benedict with salmon were tasty enough, but I wasn't a fan of the haphazard addition of orange slices on the plate. It didn't add anything to the meal, and just seemed incongruous. Thus, the best eggs benedict I've had in London remains Café Richoux in Mayfair

However, the MVP at The Diner that I didn't sample in my first visit here was the hard milkshakes (milkshakes with a cheeky dash of alcohol in), specifically, the True Blue. Mainly blueberries, this was one of the few drinks I've had where it tasted better with the addition of booze. You have to try it out. For £8 you get a handsome amount (enough to fill a the glass in the first review, twice), and honestly, it's the most fun I've had getting tipsy.  I also had a Strawberry Cheesecake hard cocktail, and that, by normal standards, would have been scrummy. But True Blue was in a league of its own.

In future, I may just come here for the milkshakes. Sod the food when the milkshakes are that heavenly!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Restaurant review: JOE'S SOUTHERN KITCHEN (Covent Garden)

Now that I have Tastecard, I have my pick of restaurants at which I can eat at for a decent price, so thought I’d christen my darling Tastecard at Joe’s Southern Kitchen & Bar.



Very generously sized in an old warehouse-style building and boasting some mouth-watering dishes, it brings the spirit of the Deep South into central London. The soft shell crab starters were delicious, and converted a crab-phobiac like me, although the chilli cup and taco starter was somewhat mediocre, and definitely was riding more on the 'fun' quotient of making your own tacos than on its nutritional or taste value.

The main menu boasted dishes that ranged from the straightforward (southern chicken, etc) to things that sounded altogether more exotic, or just curious. For example, Joe’s Prison Plate was presented as just that - a tray like something you’d expect to see in Orange is the New Black (a show I have become addicted to, just so you know, brilliant) filled with beans, coleslaw, rice, bread, but best of all, a healthy portion of pulled pork, which was unbelievably succulent. 

I think it must be the sauce they cook their food in, because every meat dish I had at JSK left me wanting more. The chicken itself looks nothing special, like something you’d expect to get from KFC, but don’t judge a book by its cover, because that, too, tasted wonderful.



With a Tastecard, a meal here works out cheaper than a visit to Nando’s, an institution which I’ve always found disappointingly overrated. So what are you waiting for? Get down there! The restaurant itself might be shabby-chic, but the food is simply divine.

Grade: A-

Update: March 2016
I went to Joe's Southern Kitchen just for a drink, and was just as impressed with the collections of drinks on offer as I was by the food.


The bar staff were attentive and efficient and the American drinks were a step up from the usual pub selection. Naturally, being a restaurant, and there being a 12.5% service charge, it also works out a little more pricey than going to the pub, but if you fancy something a bit different, Joe's Southern Kitchen isn't a bad drinking hole in Covent Garden, in addition to being a delicious restaurant.

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Bill’s (Holborn) and Jackson + Rye (Soho)

Last Sunday I went for brunch at Bill’s, and the Sunday before that, at Jackson + Rye, so it makes sense to talk about these two places together.

Jackson + Rye is brunch spot with heavy American influences in its decor, particularly that of the New York variety, all diner-style booths and a jukebox-type soundtrack blaring in the past. It boasts a fantastic range of egg dishes, of which I went with the salmon option, as well as offering macaroni cheese as a side dish, something that is a complete novelty to us Brits, who are used to having it as a free-standing meal. Seeing as I was there, I thought it would be rude not to, and indeed, was not disappointed. I'm of the belief that the more cheese, the better, and this side dish was all but drenched in it, and high quality cheese, too.



I went with my MSc lot, three of whom had the eggs with avocado, which was very well received by them. On my end, I adored the salmon, and welcomed it as a healthy alternative to the English fry-ups I usually have for brunch on a Sunday. The macaroni and cheese was wonderfully moreish, unashamedly dripping with carbs and made even better when I added a generous helping of salt. For dessert, I had continued with cheese, devouring a cheesecake of sorts, which came with its own berry sauce. It was artfully decorated and went down a treat, if being a little wanting on the portion-for-price ratio.



Overall, Jackson + Rye operated like an upmarket, slightly more high end version of TGI Friday’s. The few downsides were that we went at a very busy time, and thus, found it difficult to get the waiters’ attention, as well as the fact that they helped themselves to a 12.5% optional tip. Now, it says optional, so we didn’t pay it, but then, when we left, the waiters called us back in because apparently our bill didn’t add up. On a second glance, they realised that it did - we had paid for our food, just declined to pay the 12.5% gratuity because we didn’t feel they earned it. It was all a bit awkward, but I’m firmly of the belief that you should let people choose whether or not they want to tip you. That this place gave themselves a tip, and then passive aggressively chastised us for not paying it, means I am reluctant to recommend it effusively, despite how yummy the food was.

Bill’s boasted an altogether different palate of food: European dishes, as well as the hearty full English, and it was this that I had for brunch last Sunday. I loved it. Like my macaroni cheese at J+R, it was dripping full of carbs, and all the better for it, and the streaky bacon was done exactly how I like it (I’m picky when it comes to bacon). To balance out the salt intake, I had some sugar intake in the form of my first ice cream soda float and it was revelatory! Such was my noobishness when it came to this drink, that I didn’t clock that I was supposed to drink it as soon as the straw went in, meaning a substantial amount of it fell onto the table, but the waiters were switched on and instantly cleaned up for me, no reproach at all.



The upside down cheesecake dessert, whilst expertly packaged in a dinky clear jar and lid, had its proportions of textures a little jumbled up - I would have fancied more cream, and less biscuit, but it seems churlish to let that mar what was otherwise a thoroughly recommendable brunch spot, which will now be forever remembered fondly as the place where I had my first ice cream float.



Jackson + Rye: B-
Bill’s: A-

Monday, June 02, 2014

Cumberland sausage, mashed potato, onions and gravy.


Work canteen, £3.30.
9/10. Yet another fantastic dish from work! Loving it.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Restaurant review: PO CHUNG MA CHA (Tottenham Court Road)

An unpretentious Korean restaurant, Po Chung Ma Cha is situated on a street sandwiched between several other Korean and Japanese restaurants, two of which I have reviewed here. Such is the dense competition on that road alone, product differentiation between these eateries is tantamount, and perhaps it was the extra spices the chefs added to their dishes, but this place definitely stood out, taste-wise.



The interior decor was nothing special, bordering on shabby, with an option to sit around the area where the food is prepared in a setting that is almost canteen-like. The upside of this is that the people there have gone to the restaurant with the sole aim of eating and catching up, not for posturing. And personally, I find being in the company of other people who love eating heightens my enjoyment of the meal more.

Your bill will be considerably cut by the fact that Po Chung Ma Cha supplies unlimited amounts of green tea, all exceptionally well-brewed. The meals are nothing short of delicious. For starters, we shared fishcakes, although these turned out to be fishcakes like nothing I’d ever seen before, swimming around in noodle stew. Once you get over the fact that it doesn’t look like what you’re accustomed to, it’s an absolute treat. 

For mains, I had a beef bibimbap, and again, they were great. Despite it being quite chilli, I asked for even more spicy sauce, because the ingredients were utterly moreish; the cucumber, in particular, went very well with the sauce.

We didn’t sample any of the carbs, so I can’t speak for them (my experience from Korean restaurants is that rice tends to be fairly run-of-the-mill), but in terms of meat and vegetables, I really liked it here Points were sadly lost for the fact that we were all but ushered out of the place by waiters, who were a bit too keen to get to their lunch break, as well as the nuisance that arose from not being allowed to split the bill when paying by card. These two foibles aside, you won’t find a better Korean place that boasts better flavour around Bloomsbury.

Grade: A-

-- 

Edit: 19th October 2014.

I went to Po Chung Ma Cha again on a Friday night, and the place was absolutely buzzing! By the time we left, a queue of about 10 people had formed outside. This time seafood pancake was ordered, as well as a fantastic stew of an assortment of seafoods and a spicy chicken bimbimbap:


The service was fantastic; the lady saw that we hadn't applied the sauce to the bimbimbap evenly, so she helped us out. The seafood pancake has been done better at Koba, but the seafood stew was an absolute dream! Sat on an electric heater so the food was piping hot throughout, it featured a mishmash of mussels, crabs, and all sorts of seafood delicacies that I adore. The spiciness of the stew it was in was optimal too, and paired with the rice from the chicken bimbimbap, the whole thing was delicious.

Thus, my grade of A- from last time was reinforced, although this place impressed so much this time round, it is extremely close to an A! (Just the seafood pancake let the side down I'm afraid :P)

Friday, May 30, 2014

Film review: MALEFICENT (Robert Stromberg, 2014)

Turning the well-known story of Sleeping Beauty on its head, Wicked-style, Maleficent tells the story of two lands. One is ruled by a vain King, and inhabited by discontent mortals, unhappy at the extent of inequality facing them (an apt parable for society today, perhaps). The other is full of mythical creatures, including pixies, walking trees and lots of fairies, one of the most prominent of which is the titular Maleficent.



At the start of the film, Maleficent is but a girl, and, given her advanced magical powers, already somewhat of a protector of her land and those in it. She is alerted of a human boy of about her age, Stefan, who has crossed boundaries to her land, and tried to pickpocket a diamond. Confronting him, she forces him to return the diamond, but, despite the compromising circumstances in which they meet, she comes to like him. He, like her, is an orphan, and, when he accidentally singes her with his iron ring, throws it away as a gesture of goodwill. Maleficent is deeply moved by this, and the two become friends, and then lovers.

However, whilst the young Maleficent is a romantic, Stefan is more of a pragmatist. After he hits adulthood he leaves her to fulfil his ambitions, and makes his way up to become one of the King’s cronies. On his deathbed from a failed siege of Maleficent’s land, the King promises he will name his heir and betroth his daughter to anyone who can slay Maleficent. 

Stefan is fond of Maleficent, but he is much, much fonder of power and glory, and, whilst he stops short of killing her, abuses her trust, drugging her to sleep, and cutting off her wings so as to give the impression that he did indeed slay her. And that is where our good girl turns into the embittered, malevolent figure of villainess that we remember from the Disney cartoon.

Hot on the heels of last year’s multiple-Oscar-winner Frozen, Maleficent is another Disney movie that subverts the traditional ‘girls need a Prince Charming to swoop in and save them’ trope, and instead, promotes solidarity between womanhood.

The central dynamic here is between Jolie’s horned fairy ruler and Elle Fanning as Aurora, the good-natured, trusting princess whom she had cursed as a baby. Both are well-cast; Jolie’s English accent is spot-on and she delivers her sarcastic lines with relish and genuinely instills fear into the audience. We genuinely believe hell hath no fury like a fairy scorned.

Elle Fanning impresses in a role that, in just about every other young actress, save perhaps Hailee Steinfeld, I would have found extremely grating. Aurora is naive, bordering on gullible (in one brilliant display of dramatic irony, she calls Maleficent her ‘fairy godmother’), but Fanning's winning smile and sweet performance keeps her endearing rather than dopey. 

The relationship between the two is the strongest part of the film, and when Aurora comes to learn the horrible truth, it is genuinely emotional; we feel as disappointed as she does.


Whilst the leading ladies are well-cast, the supporting men is more of a mixed bag. As Diablo, Maleficent’s sidekick raven, Sam Riley is an inspired choice. I’m so used to seeing him in offbeat indie movies like On The Road and Control, so to see him in such a high-profile blockbuster was a delight in itself. Diablo is a bird Maleficent rescues, with the view to becoming her wings after her’s are stolen from her, and whilst Diablo goes about his tasks, he is not afraid to question his mistress and give her lip back, elevating him into a much more interesting character than the standard Crabbe/Goyle-type yeomen.

However, as King Stefan, Sharlto Copley is a bad, bad choice. I feel the film’s casting directors missed a trick, because, whilst we’re obviously not supposed to sympathise with the man who broke Maleficent’s heart and betrayed her trust, there’s nothing wrong with making him dastardly handsome, just to yo-yo with our loyalties a bit. Copley is not conventionally handsome, and sports an angry Scottish accent. As such, I was firmly on Maleficent’s side, no matter how horrible her actions. Not ideal.

The middle act of Maleficent dragged, and some of the dialogue is pure cheese (such as when Aurora meets the young pup who we believe to be her Prince Charming). I was also somewhat underwhelmed with the three good fairies; I adore Imelda Staunton and Juno Temple, and cheered inside when I saw them. But whilst I found them amusing, I feel their foolish antics somewhat outstayed their welcome in the film, as did the meandering sequences where Aurora gets to see Maleficent’s kingdom.

That being said, the fantasy action sequences are nothing short of breath-taking: hyper-energetic and thrilling without being overly violent, and the showdown finale was brilliantly staged. All in all, a good popcorn movie that was a little on the messy side, but it promoted empathy and girl power. And that’s never a bad thing in my eyes.

6.5/10

Friday, May 16, 2014

Restaurant review: BELGO CENTRAAL (Covent Garden)

Audrey Hepburn. Hercule Poirot. Eden Hazard. What do that three eclectic threesome have in common? That would be the element they also have in common with this restaurant: Belgium. Prior to visiting Belgo Centraal I wasn’t sure just what constituted ‘Belgian cuisine’, expecting nothing more than a wide selection of waffles.



Having been to the restaurant, I must admit that I am not any closer to being enlightened. The croquettes we had for starters, whilst being perfectly edible, didn’t have any crowning features that elevated it above the McDonald’s cheesy bites, so I was left pondering just how Belgian it was. 

My main – garlic chicken – whilst certainly lightyears ahead of the dross they serve at Nando’s, again, didn’t seem to have a particular secret ingredient that made it any more Belgian than anything else I’d ever consumed. Perhaps I’m being churlish – had the waiters spent more time educating me about what it was about the dish that made it Belgian, I would have left the restaurant happier, and my taste buds feeling more cultured. Instead, I just felt like I’d had a nice meal, but without any geographical component to it.



The majority of the food tasted good, although the frites ordered for sides did not deliver; the stuff they churn out at KFC is less stale than the Belgo fries I unfortunately had. The turnover for food orders was swift, but I can’t help feeling the quality suffered at its expense. The mussel-to-shell ratio was also disappointing; the mussel in the above photo are so artfully arranged that it detracts from the fact that you aren't actually getting very much fish at all. Same goes for the prawn starters - it cost about six pounds, but  the shell took up far more space than any real food. I dislike being conned, just saying. 

Do you want to know something else I dislike? Waiters who take ages when you ask them for a serviette. The food at Belgo was very difficult to eat tidily, and I requested some extra tissues. They did arrive – but only after I prompted the waiters again. Not impressed.

The highlight of my visit to Belgo was undoubtedly the beer selection, arguably the only legitimately Belgian thing about the whole place. There were some wonderfully quirky sounding beers, served in such a generous portion that the alcohol content almost makes you forget about the chips that you’ve been ripped off for. Even for those who aren’t usually big on beer, I guarantee there’ll be something in the selection at Belgo there – check out the fruit beers.



Overall, I enjoyed my dining experience at Belgo, and would particularly recommend it beer-drinkers. In terms of food, I was satisfied, without being so blown away that I would rush back.

Grade: B-

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Pub review: BIERPALAST (Temple)

Watching football and drinking beer pretty much go hand-in-hand where I’m from. However, having attended Bath University (a sports uni that was big on its drinking games) and being an economist, when it comes to beer, I usually opt for the one that will get me the drunkest for the least money, as opposed to that which tastes the best. Pre-Chelsea game, I can be found hovering around Fulham Broadway tube station with a can of Stella in my hand, dodging the security guards who will give me a talking to if they find me. 

Such is the extensiveness of my drinking beer that I’ve actually grown to like the terrible brews like Stella and Foster’s. However, when I have a classier brand, like Peroni, I can taste a discernible difference, so obviously my tastebuds haven’t completely gone in the beer department. For that reason, I thought I’d check out a German beer house.



The first beer I went for was a wheat beer with undertones of vanilla and banana, and it was wonderful. I was brave and went for a whole stein (more than two pints worth), so it was lucky that I picked one I liked so much. The next brew was a darker wheat, which I enjoyed less (I consider Corona and Peroni superior), but it was sure as hell nicer than Carling. 

For food, I had meatloaf and gravy, which was fine, but the pub was a little miserly on the gravy for my liking (I’d been to a British pub just days before and my meal then had been lathered in gravy, just how I like it). Because I didn't mix my alcohols, my hangover the next day wasn't too strong, yet by the time I left the pub, I was in extremely high spirits, so the alcohol had done its short-term job.

The experience of Bierpalast, on the whole, was hugely enjoyable. The waiters were more than happy to stop and impart their expertise, and the guy who told me about the beers clearly had a fondness for the vanilla-tinted one, so I feel he recommended well. The majority of the pub is situated in the basement, and it wasn’t anywhere near as over-crowded as a nearby pub that I’d walked past on my way there from Temple station. 

One of the most off-putting elements of most pubs on a Friday at 7pm is just how choc-a-bloc full of people it is. It can be very claustrophobic, and damn near impossible to find a seat for two people. But for some reason this place was populated without being over-crowded, and neither did it blast some obnoxious popular music so loud you couldn’t hear yourself think. Come to think of it, the fact that it stayed true to its German roots rather than pandering to British tastes, probably dissuaded the more nationalist clientele, but for the likes of me with no nationalistic agenda who just want a good beer, I was super-grateful. For people who enjoy a good brew, I would give this place a huge thumbs up.

Grade: A

If you'd like me to review your pub, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com