TV recap: THE APPRENTICE series 6 episode 4, SELLING TO TRADE

It’s all about product development this week, as both Apollo and Synergy are tasked with selecting two up-and-coming inventions and pitch them to various department stores and independent retailers across the UK.

We’re launched straight into the drama when Jamie and Mel fight for the position of Project Manager. Mel, who was the winning PM last week - though a strong case could be made that her team won in spite of her leadership rather than because of it - keenly puts herself forward again. However, a democratic team vote sways in Jamie's favour, securing him the PM armband. Jamie looks chuffed, Mel looks extremely irked. 

On the other team, picking PM is considerably more straightforward; Chris puts himself forward and meets no opposition, winning the position by default.

Six mini-film reviews: 4.3.2.1 (Mark Davis, Noel Clarke, 2010), MADE IN DAGENHAM (Nigel Cole, 2010), THE PRESTIGE (Christopher Nolan, 2006), THE RIVER (Jean Renoir, 1951), SIDEWAYS (Alexander Payne, 2004) and OUT OF THE PAST (Jacques Tourneur, 1947)

Bungsy's screening log: 4 October 2010 to 10 October 2010

4.3.2.1 (Noel Clarke and Mark Davis, 2010)

 

4.3.2.1 tells the story of four female friends in inner-city London who inadvertently get embroiled in a high-stakes diamond heist. The film kicks off with the group meeting up in a café, before they part ways for their own interlocking adventures. Unbeknownst to them, over the next 48 hours, their paths will cross in more unorthodox ways. 

The film follows directly after they have parted ways, channelling the misadventures of each girl over the subsequent days. So far, so Tarantino. Except that, whilst I find QT's relentless self-promotion and ego a little irksome, he at least possesses the filmmaking pedigree to justify the smugness. Noel Clarke and Mark Davis, not so much. 

TV recap: THE APPRENTICE series 6 episode 1, BANGERS

Finally, it’s here! After what felt like a very underwhelming series of Junior Apprentice, we’re finally onto the original. Margaret Mountford has gone and is replaced by the formidable Karen Brady, but the rest of the formula is reassuringly familiar. And by that, I mean a batch of completely deluded contestants who are almost swimming in their own arrogance, paired with tasks specifically designed to expose those exact flaws. 

The challenge this week is to manufacture and sell sausages, and from the looks of it, the contestants will be making a pig's ear of it.

“Everything I touch turns to sold”, drawls one of the candidates, following up with “Where’s my glass ceiling?” Already, he has established himself as a self-serving, egotistical goon amidst a sea of egotistical goons. The episode truly kicks into gear in when Sir Alan divides the teams, as per standard, by gender. 

Emmabung's Top 10 Cutest Footballers (Currently.)

This list changes as often as I change my hoodies, so I would take it with a pinch of salt. Looking over it, I realise it is very English, Spanish and Croatian heavy (in fact, the only other nations represented are the Czech Republic and Ivory Coast). As a matter of fact, nine of these ten dudes are Europeans, which probably betrays my predilection for European men. Anyway (from top left then clockwise), the men are:

Xavi and Iniesta (both Spain, both Barcelona). I often think of these two as the same player, such is their telepathic bond and brilliant link-up play at Barcelona and for their national team.

Frank Lampard (England, Chelsea). It makes me laugh when people, especially overweight middle-aged men, call Lampard "fat", because he has an amazing physique. The fact that he plays so well for my team, as well as sporting a sexy Romford accent, only makes him more irresistable.

Luka Modric (Croatia, Tottenham). Little Luka, along with Crouchie, will probably garner the most laughter for his appearance on my list here. After all, the Croatian magician does have long blonde hair, a big nose, and buck teeth. That's not ordinarily considered attractive. But, I dunno. He is a very skilled footballer (if I could bring one player to the Bridge it'd be Modric or the later mentioned Adam Johnson), yet seems to be uncharacteristically humble, something which could be attributed to his being from Croatia (incidentally, a country I absolutely BUM). After all, they have an Island that looks like this!

Stunning!

Salomon Kalou (Ivory Coast, Chelsea). Aww, sweet-faced, adorable, innocent Sala! What a cutie.

Niko Kranjcar (Croatia, Tottenham). Har, the second Croat Spuds player in my list. To be honest, I was very close to including a third, the defender Vedran Corluka, but alas, I left him out. Well, of the three, Kranjcar is easily the most "stereotypically" handsome, with his gorgeous brown eyes, sexy bod and tanned skin. He doesn't seem to be playing that many games this season for some reason, but he does play, it's not his football I'm paying attention to. ;)

Adam Johnson (England, Manchester City). Adam Johnson is, in short, one of England's most exciting prospects. I firmly believe that Capello was a fool for not selecting him (though, then again, this is the man who didn't start Crouchie enough in the World Cup, and who knows what could have happened if he'd played more). I watched Adam Johnson on James Corden's World Cup (he was just about the only good thing to take from that piece of shit show), and he was wearing a hoodie and speaking eloquently in his cute Tyneside accent. As with five of the other men in this list, I've actually seen Johnson in the flesh, when I went to Manchester City vs Spurs (I always forget this fact because I was too busy perving on Crouchie in that game), and he and Tevez were probably the only two City players in the game that showed true flair in their footballing. It's hard enough to establish yourself at big-spending City, even harder when you're the right side of twenty with considerably less experience and ego than your fellow teammates. But Adam Johnson's humility is to his credit, and it won't be long before he's made a name for himself - for club and country.

Iker Casillas (Spain, Real Madrid). Oh, nothing more needs to be said, really. He is a huge, huge dish, and one of the best goalkeepers in the world.

Petr Cech (Czech Republic, Chelsea). Speaking of talented goalkeepers, there is no-one I have greater pride for in football than Petr Cech. He came back from a horrific head injury in October, 2006 with Stephen Hunt, after which many questioned his form. In truth, it is possible that he may never quite reach the super-high levels he'd set himself before then, but I would rather have him as my team's goalkeeper than anyone else in the world. Intelligent, sensible, and so, very, very lovely.

Peter Crouch (England, Tottenham). CROUCHIE =) =) I don't think I need to say any more, really, considering I've been worshiping him since his Liverpool days, and, as a staunch Chelsea fan, I don't make a habit of rooting for ex-Liverpool and Spurs players. But I just can't not. His funny robot dance, his other goal celebrations, his knack for always giving 100%, even if it doesn't necessarily pay off, makes him my #1.

Weekly Screening Log (27th September to 3rd October)

Right, I know I always do these and then end up stopping but I will try my damndest to stick to it this time round! (Famous last words).

Loser (Amy Heckerling, 2000)

Jason Biggs stars as a dorky college student on a scholarship, who is friendly, warm-hearted and nice, and thus, completely out of place amidst his boozy, hedonistic dorm mates. He falls for the equally lovely Mena Suvari, someone who is struggling to pay her way through college as well as having an affair with Greg Kinear’s college lecturer. 

Bung’s 10 Favourite Girls Aloud songs.

I’ve always been a massive Girls Aloud fan, but it took my lengthy commutes to work this summer with nothing but my big-ass iPod for company to appreciate the full genius of their discography, rather than just dismissing them as a fun, disposable girl band.

Consequently, I decided to compile my personal top ten. I’ve given this a tremendous amount of thought, and narrowing it down wasn't easy, but I am finally ready to unleash the definitive list.