Chelsea players captaining their country on international duty this weekend.

Frank Lampard, Moldova vs England (in the second half when Gerrard was subbed off)

Petr Cech, Denmark vs Czech Republic.

David Luiz, Brazil vs South Africa.

Branislav Ivanovic, Scotland vs Serbia.

Fernando Torres, Spain vs Saudi Arabia.

10 Players I'm Looking Forward to Watching in the Euros.

01. Petr Cech (Czech Republic, Chelsea)

Cech’s start to the season for Chelsea was rocky under the clueless tutelage of Andre Village-Idiot and the Portuguese’s fondness for the high line, which left Cech hopelessly exposed. Lo and behold, AVB was sacked and Chelsea re-found their swagger, and one of those who’s performances contrasted most (Tony) starkly with that of their earlier ones is Petr Cech, who finished the season on the highest high possible, making three fabulous penalty saves in the Champions League final. An intelligent, measured man (easily the smartest of the Chelsea squad no matter what Lampard likes to think :p), Petr Cech is one of the few of the Chelsea team who actually keeps himself out of trouble. However, in times of diversity this season, Cech has showed a lion-hearted gutsiness one wouldn’t have expected from a man so soft-spoken that has cemented himself in fans’ hearts, he has captained the team eight times (mainly due to injuries to Terry and AVB’s continual feud with Lampard) and his flawless performance in the CL final is a redemptive example of good things coming to those who wait.

02. Juan Mata (Spain, Chelsea)

Unlike his Chelsea teammate Cech, Mata did not cover himself in glory in the penalty shoot-out in the CL final, being the only Chelsea player who missed his. That he went first purely heaped pressure onto his teammates. But fortunately, that saved penalty did not mata. Juan Mata did not deserve that kind of anguish, for his has been Chelsea’s shining light this season; often when our performances have sucked (and there have been plenty of those), Juan Mata still conjured moments of magic to make our performances seem passable. The diminutive Spaniard has settled into the Chelsea set-up fabulously, being the only one who can coax semi-decent turns from his compatriot Torres, and it makes me mouth water to contemplate how he and Chelsea new boy Eden Hazard will link up when the premier league starts again.

03. Ashley Cole (England, Chelsea)

The player that football fans love to hate, it has been suggested that hecklers simply spur Ashley Cole on to train harder, and play better. A stupendous performance in the CL final that was only blighted by his momentarily lapse of concentration to allow Muller to score (though an argument could be made that he did so because he had half an eye on babysitting David Luiz, who was nursing a hamstring injury throughout), Ashley Cole was the epitome of concentration, agility and skill. He made tackles and interceptions with considerable ease and in the absence of John Terry, had the dual task of marshalling a Chelsea defence that included both centrebacks recovering from long-term spells out injured. He did all these jobs – and more – scoring a crucial penalty that bought the scores level to 3-3, meaning that whilst the haters wept, Cole merely smirked smugly and strutted around on the pitch with his CL medal. As Jamie Foxx and Justin Timberlake might say, you lookin’ at a winner.

04. Luka Modric (Croatia, Tottenham)

05. Joe Hart (England, Man City)

06. Shay Given (Ireland, Aston Villa)



07. David Silva (Spain, Man City)

08. Andriy Shevchenko (Ukraine, Dynamo Kyiv)

09. Scott Parker (England, Tottenham)

10. Richard Dunne (Ireland, Aston Villa)

And 5 players who will sorely be missed :

01. Peter Crouch (England, Stoke) Hodgson didn’t pick him #Hodgsonout

02. Frank Lampard (England, Chelsea) injured himself in training :(

03. Gary Cahill (England, Chelsea) Injured in a collision with Joe Hart after being pushed by Dries Mertens. URGH

04. Marko Marin (Germany, Chelsea) Not selected. Hmmm.

05. Adam Johnson & Micah Richards (England, Man City) Hodgson didn’t pick them. #hmmmm

Chelsea Daggers in the Back.

Chelsea’s 3-1 loss in Naples on Tuesday was damaging. It was damaging to the team’s aspirations of ever winning the Champions League, as they now have a figurative mountain to climb in overcoming that deficit in the return fixture in London with a misfiring attack and a toothless defence. It was also damaging to the 34-year-old’s reputation. He had taken several gambles in his team selection, and from the result and the performance, it was an unqualified failure. Chelsea, languishing in fifth, looking at another Champions League exit and really struggling to gain any kind of form, are in dire straits. The worrying thing is, these are just the on-field problems. Off it, AVB faces player mutiny from the most political dressing room in the premier league, increasing pressure to play the ineffective Fernando Torres and continual speculation at his future, decided by the fickle oil baron Roman Abramovich. Damage, damage, everywhere.

Eyebrows were raised when the teamsheet was released for the Napoli game. John Terry, the Chelsea captain, was ruled out through injury, thus inducing AVB to play the less-than-ideal centreback pairing of Gary Cahill and David Luiz, both of whom proceeded to give a performance over the 90 minutes that would have made Laurel and Hardy proud. Far more baffling, however, was that Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Michael Essien were all benched. The three that took their places in the starting XI- Bosingwa, Ramires and Meireles, all had shockers. Bosingwa came off after 10 minutes with an injury, thus inducing Villas-Boas to use up a precious substitution early. The Sky pundit Jamie Redknapp raged that it was “managerial suicide”, and judging from the shambolic performance that ensued, in which Chelsea were arguably fortunate to escape from just 3-1 down, he wasn’t wrong.

As Graeme Sounness said, Ashley Cole at 90% fitness was better than Bosingwa 100%. The England left-back, as with his defensive colleagues, has not had the best season at Chelsea (the way he lost Theo Walcott in the 3-5 humiliation against Arsenal must will give him nightmares) but he still remains one of the finest in the world in his position, and when brilliant, has given performances for Chelsea that epitomize full-back play at its finest (Spurs away, for example). AVB’s decision not to start him and play Bosingwa - a right-back who can barely play in his natural role – out of position because the manager and Cole had an argument, just smacks of cutting one’s nose off to spite their face. Furthermore, not playing Michael Essien, a man who knows the role of defensive midfield inside out, in favour of Raul Meireles, whose error led to Chelsea conceding the equaliser, was another of AVB’s risky gambles that backfired spectacularly. And finally, the benching of Frank Lampard. To fans, Frank is Chelsea royalty and were we presented with an ultimatum between the 33-year-old midfielder and the 34-year-old gaffer, the Englishman would come out top every time. The power struggle between the manager and the man only 8 months his junior has been well documented by fans and the Media alike this season and whilst fans accept that Lampard no longer has the God-given right to demand starts at every single Chelsea game, he is still far better than any of the alternatives and should definitely have started for such a crucial match on Tuesday.

All that being said, some sympathy has to be given to Andre Villas-Boas. Managing Chelsea, for all its glitterati and glamour, is an unenviable task. John Terry, Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole and Didier Drogba have egos to match their salaries, and even the usually soft-spoken, diplomatic goalkeeper Petr Cech has a high enough sense of self-worth that he would not be averse to speaking out against the manager. It also is these five players, however, who have been dominant players in Chelsea’s success of the last few years. In the 2009-2010 season when they won the double for the first time in the club’s history, it was Lampard’s goals, Cole’s marauding fullback play, Terry’s defensive blocks, Drogba’s invention and Cech’s crucial saves that won it. Love themselves these men definitely do, but not for no reason.

The revelation that several Chelsea players were still in contact with Jose Mourinho, the manager who’s shadow every man following him has been living in, couldn’t have helped things. AVB must have been hurt to think of Frank Lampard or Ashley Cole sending their former boss a snide text every time AVB got it wrong (and there have been plenty of those this season). Furthermore, Frank whining to cousin Jamie, only to have Redknapp relay everything the Englishman says on TV, has got to be the most counter-productive way to try and get starts. As the age-old phrase goes, it takes two to tango, and the Chelsea camp is most definitely divided into a group of those who are Team Andre Villas-Boas, and Team, well, Andre is a Village Idiot.

But the fact of the matter is, those who are on Team AVB are also those getting starts, and whether or not said starts are deserved are bloody debatable. David Luiz, a man who has big hair, a big heart and a big sense of humour, also possesses big clown feet and cannot defend to save his life. Chelsea fans enjoy his warmth and happy smile, but when we see his name on a teamsheet, we fret. He is AVB’s biggest loyalist and AVB has paid Luiz’s loyalty in kind with starts throughout the season. In return, David Luiz has given performances riddled with defensive errors; on Tuesday it was a miskick that led Napoli to score their third – and most damaging – goal. Similarly, Raul Meireles has been given a string of second-rate performances in a Chelsea shirt this season, and Bosingwa at right back has gifted the opposition goals like it's going out of fashion. AVB has persevered with the Lusophone-speaking contingent of Chelsea this season, when their performances have not merited such perseverance, and that riles.

It is difficult to say where one can go from here. AVB has a vision for Chelsea’s future – the word “project” has rolled off his tongue continually this season – but I have a few words to describe how Chelsea is right now, none of them project, all of them four-lettered. The club is descending into a downhill spiral of internal politics and backhanded comments, with more drama than a month’s worth of Eastenders. I am not saying that Roman should sack AVB, because, frankly Chelsea have gone through more than enough managerial transitions to last a lifetime. Plus, Chelsea’s players need to take accountability for their atrocious recent performances and start playing for the team. But a big share of the blame does lie with Andre Villas-Boas, and he needs to get a clue, and fast, because the clock is ticking, and as Carlo Ancelotti, Luiz Felipe Scolari and Avram Grant can attest to, patience is not something the Russian has in abundance. For the majority of Chelsea fans, however, we have long given up on AVB. He would have to perform miracles to turn this sorry mess around now.

Emmabung's Top 10 Cutest Footballers (Currently.)

This list changes as often as I change my hoodies, so I would take it with a pinch of salt. Looking over it, I realise it is very English, Spanish and Croatian heavy (in fact, the only other nations represented are the Czech Republic and Ivory Coast). As a matter of fact, nine of these ten dudes are Europeans, which probably betrays my predilection for European men. Anyway (from top left then clockwise), the men are:

Xavi and Iniesta (both Spain, both Barcelona). I often think of these two as the same player, such is their telepathic bond and brilliant link-up play at Barcelona and for their national team.

Frank Lampard (England, Chelsea). It makes me laugh when people, especially overweight middle-aged men, call Lampard "fat", because he has an amazing physique. The fact that he plays so well for my team, as well as sporting a sexy Romford accent, only makes him more irresistable.

Luka Modric (Croatia, Tottenham). Little Luka, along with Crouchie, will probably garner the most laughter for his appearance on my list here. After all, the Croatian magician does have long blonde hair, a big nose, and buck teeth. That's not ordinarily considered attractive. But, I dunno. He is a very skilled footballer (if I could bring one player to the Bridge it'd be Modric or the later mentioned Adam Johnson), yet seems to be uncharacteristically humble, something which could be attributed to his being from Croatia (incidentally, a country I absolutely BUM). After all, they have an Island that looks like this!

Stunning!

Salomon Kalou (Ivory Coast, Chelsea). Aww, sweet-faced, adorable, innocent Sala! What a cutie.

Niko Kranjcar (Croatia, Tottenham). Har, the second Croat Spuds player in my list. To be honest, I was very close to including a third, the defender Vedran Corluka, but alas, I left him out. Well, of the three, Kranjcar is easily the most "stereotypically" handsome, with his gorgeous brown eyes, sexy bod and tanned skin. He doesn't seem to be playing that many games this season for some reason, but he does play, it's not his football I'm paying attention to. ;)

Adam Johnson (England, Manchester City). Adam Johnson is, in short, one of England's most exciting prospects. I firmly believe that Capello was a fool for not selecting him (though, then again, this is the man who didn't start Crouchie enough in the World Cup, and who knows what could have happened if he'd played more). I watched Adam Johnson on James Corden's World Cup (he was just about the only good thing to take from that piece of shit show), and he was wearing a hoodie and speaking eloquently in his cute Tyneside accent. As with five of the other men in this list, I've actually seen Johnson in the flesh, when I went to Manchester City vs Spurs (I always forget this fact because I was too busy perving on Crouchie in that game), and he and Tevez were probably the only two City players in the game that showed true flair in their footballing. It's hard enough to establish yourself at big-spending City, even harder when you're the right side of twenty with considerably less experience and ego than your fellow teammates. But Adam Johnson's humility is to his credit, and it won't be long before he's made a name for himself - for club and country.

Iker Casillas (Spain, Real Madrid). Oh, nothing more needs to be said, really. He is a huge, huge dish, and one of the best goalkeepers in the world.

Petr Cech (Czech Republic, Chelsea). Speaking of talented goalkeepers, there is no-one I have greater pride for in football than Petr Cech. He came back from a horrific head injury in October, 2006 with Stephen Hunt, after which many questioned his form. In truth, it is possible that he may never quite reach the super-high levels he'd set himself before then, but I would rather have him as my team's goalkeeper than anyone else in the world. Intelligent, sensible, and so, very, very lovely.

Peter Crouch (England, Tottenham). CROUCHIE =) =) I don't think I need to say any more, really, considering I've been worshiping him since his Liverpool days, and, as a staunch Chelsea fan, I don't make a habit of rooting for ex-Liverpool and Spurs players. But I just can't not. His funny robot dance, his other goal celebrations, his knack for always giving 100%, even if it doesn't necessarily pay off, makes him my #1.

10 Players I'm Really Looking Forward to Watching in the 2010 World Cup.

Under a week until the World Cup, and I can literally not take the excitement. In the pre-World Cup build-up we've already had heartbreak and disappointment, what with some key players getting injured in the friendlies and warm ups, whilst others have failed to been selected by their country's managers. Of the players that are going, here are the 10 that I'm most excited about seeing in action.

10. Salomon Kalou (Ivory Coast, Chelsea)

Now that Drogba's out of the World Cup (weep), Salomon Kalou could well find himself acting as the key striker for the Ivory Coast. This will be a slight change from his role at Chelsea, where, although he has been deployed as a forward, he has had more experience playing on the wing. Furthermore, whilst the Ivory Coast does still feature some premiership names (Arsenal's Eboue, and Man City's Kolo Toure, their captain in the abscence of Drogba), Kalou is one of the IC's more prominent players, unlike at Chelsea, and it will be interesting to see how he copes with this higher level of responsibility. Many Chelsea fans frequently find themselves banging their heads against the wall when watching Kalou; for all his pace and troubling defenders, some of his crosses leave a lot to be desired, and his finishing fluctuant. But I bloody love him. As you'll discover (to a point ad nauseum), I love footballers who try, and Kalou does just that. Plus I find it totally adorable and refreshing how in this day and age, when many players utter a couple of expletetives when they miss the goal, Kalou just grins sheepishly, and carrys on. It's that kind of cute, angel-faced school prefect behaviour that makes me just want to mother him.

09. Tim Cahill (Australia, Everton)

Arguably one of the best premier league players not playing for a top four side, Tim Cahill has been on the English football scene for 12 years now, six of those with Millwall and six with Everton. On more than one occasion he has been the saviour for Australia in internationals, as he has done with Everton - witness the way he skipped merrily around Man City's defenders in the match this season as if they simply weren't there.  The pacey, energetic way at which he bounds around the pitch is, in itself, not dissimilar to that of a kangaroos. It will be exciting to see how he runs circles around Germany, Ghana and Serbia in the so-called "group of death" (vol1). There's a vol 2 later. :p

08. Park Ji-Sung (South Korea, Manchester United)

I find Park Ji-Sung massively underrated. Whilst I know his erratic performances in front of goal have led to many Manchester United fans to want to punch him, I personally love him for his work ethic and energy. I'm a huge softie for football players who, although not the best, always give 110%, and nobody exemplifies that better than Park. As captain of South Korea, he is the one in the squad with the most experience of football at its highest level (the only other premiership player in the squad is Bolton's Lee Chung-Yong), and the big-game mentality that he has acquired from representing Manchester United in Europe shall surely come in handy when South Korea find themselves face to face with Argentina in the group stages. Also, he's Asian, as am I, so automatic brownie points for that.

07. Ashley Cole (England, Chelsea)

You've got to hand it to Ashley Cole. Quite possibly the most reviled man in England, every football ground he visits is met with animosity at his every touch of the ball, and banter in the form of his ex-wife's song lyrics (Stoke fans sang "We've got to file file file file file for divorce" to him as Chelsea rogered Stoke 7-0 at Stamford Bridge). But with his philandering and being detested, Ashley Cole has also acquired a mighty thick skin. In a season where he started so promisingly, Ashley Cole picked up an ankle injury at Everton in February, around the time when Chelsea needed him the most. He returned towards the end of the season and his four great performances in the remaining matches helped win the league and the FA Cup - but there was a faint trace of regret interwoven with my pride when Chelsea paraded those two trophies around West London. What if, I wondered, Ashley Cole had been fit for those two integral games against Inter in the CL? Could, perhaps, it have been the treble we'd been sporting - and finally have the CL trophy to Chelseabung's name. Anyway, thinking over scenarios that never happened is just a waste of time. Ashley Cole hadn't been fit, and we didn't beat Inter. But, for all his questionble morals "as a person", Ashley Cole is a dynamite of a left-back; both at attacking and defending. Whilst England's right-back, Glen Johnson, has a tendency to dose off - something Aaron Lennon must atone for in midfield if it happens, Ashley Cole barely has that problem. Alert, agile (even at 29) and consistently a threat, it will be terrific fun to see him dancing with the ball with Chelsea team-mate Joe Cole down the left. England don't need a parachute, if we've got him.

06. Wesley Sneijder (Netherlands, Inter Milan)

Sold to Inter from Real for around 15million euros with the money Inter got for their "Ibrahimovic sale", Sneijder made a splash straight away, adapting to Italian football brilliantly and greatly enjoying the role Jose Mourinho gave him as a trequartista behind Eto'o and Milito. It is this attacking trio, along with goals from all over the pitch and Jose Mourinho's machiavellian know-how that guided Inter Milan to the treble, and after all that, one could hardly blame Sneijder for feeling a little... fatigued. But no, the 25-year-old, balding, thrice-divorced Dutchie is having none of that. Having gotten his hands on three major trophies already, he's got his eye on a fourth.

05. Kaká (Brazil, Real Madrid)

It would not be unfair to say that on the whole, Ricky Kaká has had a bit of an underwhelming season for Real Madrid. A lot of this is not the poor boy's fault; unlike at Brazil and AC Milan, where the team was built around him, Kaká found himself having to adapt to a different style of play in Spain, and he has struggled with form-dipping injury throughout the season. Plus, with the hefty price tag burdered on him, anyone would feel a bit nervous. Nonetheless, he will not feel content with how the past season has gone - especially when compared to Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid's other multi-million Euro signing - and will take it upon himself to find redemption in South Africa. Interestingly enough, Kaká and Ronaldo will find themselves face to face in the Group Stages, as Portugal, Brazil, Ivory Coast and North Korea form Group G, the "Group of Death" (vol2). If things don't go as planned, Kaká may find himself talking to god on more than one occasion...

04. Philipp Lahm (Germany, Bayern München)

When Chelsea's Michael Ballack was ruled out of the World Cup with an ankle injury, it added to Germany's already growing injury list of first-team players, what with their first choice goalie Rene Adler nursing a rib injury. Speculation also arose as to who would wear the captain's armband. The smart money was on Stuttgart's Sami Khedira, though Klose, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Lukas Podolski also in for a shout. But in the end, Germany manager Joachim Löw gave the position to pint-sized Philipp Lahm, one of the most baby faced players in the World Cup. A right-footed left-back, he was doing the "playing inside out" thing long before Ashley Young, Craig Bellamy and Damien Duff cottoned onto it, and whilst his minute height occasionally leads to gaps in his defensive game, he usually takes it upon himself to compensate - it was Lahm who scored the equaliser for Germany in their 3-1 friendly victory over Bosnia when he was at fault for the one goal Bosnia conceded. A key stalwart for Germany in their past few tournaments, it will be interesting to see how he fares in South Africa, carrying the weight of representing his country, defending and now captaining on his 5'7" shoulders.

03. Xavi (Spain, Barcelona)

In May, reports broke out that Cesc Fàbregas, the 23-year-old captain of Arsenal, wanted to re-join Barcelona, the club he started at. Whilst his desire to do so is partially justified; as a Spaniard, who can fault him for wanting to go back to his homeland, and season upon season of disappointment with Arsenal can only push him so far, the best argument for Cesc not going to Barca and staying exactly where he is is in the form of Xavi Hernandez, Spain team-mate. They play in similar roles for their teams and with Xavi still at the peak of his powers, I feel that were Fàbregas to be Cataluña-bound, he would be forever playing second fiddle to the man seven years his senior. At 30, Xavi is at the age when footballers are supposed to be declining in physical fitness, but the past season he has had with Barcelona completely counters that. Arguably the best playmaker in the world, his passing is second to none, his link-up play with Barca and Spain team-mate Andrés Iniesta is borderline telepathic, and, for all the plaudits Lionel Messi has won for his many match-winning goals, there is a monster in midfield behind him, quietly doing the integral cogwork.

02. Frank Lampard (England, Chelsea)

Lampard has just had a sensational season with Chelseabung, wherein he has topped his own scoring record with 21 league goals and more assists than any other player. That his reputation as a World class footballer is in refute is just a joke. But anyway. For those of us with eyes and can see how immense Mr. Lampard is, the desire to see him play for England is also intermingled with trepidation for how Capello will handle the Lampard/Gerrard conundrum, something he still hasn't sorted. I have my own ideas but I'm no football manager, so I shall hold my own counsel over the matter (for once). But I do hope Lampard isn't the casualty, because he is an absolute diamond of a footballer. Two years ago, his mother passed away, and six days on from the tragedy he chose to go back to his job as a 'player and play in the crucial CL tie between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge. With the game tied at 1-1, 2-2 on aggregate, a penalty was awarded to Chelsea. Many people could barely watch as Lampard prised the ball away from team-mate Ballack to take the spot-kick. His heart and head must have been all over the place and had he missed, it would have hurt a lot more than any other penalty. But the way he scored the penalty - essentially securing a victory for Chelsea, was transcendent in that, in its own way, also represented a victory for life over death. Tears streaming down his face as he looked upwards to the sky, Lampard won, the haters lost and for me, he is King.

01. Peter Crouch (England, Tottenham Hotspur)

No surprise, really. Peter Crouch turned my head in the 2006 World Cup and worringly, 4 years on, the obsession still hasn't desisted. Between those four years, he has played for three different teams, had good spells and bad but never failed to entertain me. Whilst not the most fashionable of footballers, Crouchie nonetheless epitomizes everything I love about the beautiful game: determination, team spirit and a simple thirst to play football. Some may argue that he's a flat-track bully at international level, but this argument is circular; Crouchie is hardly ever selected to play against the more "difficult" nations and when he does, it is for 4 minutes as a substitute- hardly a reasonable length of time to score in. When given the chance to shine, oh, how he soars; back in 2007 he scored a hattrick against Arsenal (the only other player to achieve such a feat in recent years is Leo Messi), and what a hattrick it was, scored with his left foot, right foot and head. Capello would do well to start Crouch alongside Rooney; Crouchie has a knack of getting himself in the right place at exactly the right time (Manchester City conceding the goal from him that put Spurs in the CL at their expense will attest to that) and his international goal-scoring rate (21 in 38 games) speaks for itself. As an England fan, I'm always wary of over-optimism, but I can't help thinking that with Crouchie as our #9, there could just be a few treats in store for England this Summer.

And players who will be sorely missed...

From top left then clockwise: Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast and Petr Cech, Czech Republic (both Chelsea, Drogba due to injury and Cech due to failing to qualify), Michael Ballack, Germany and Michael Essien, Ghana (both Chelsea, both got injured), Adam Johnson, England (Man City, was selected for the privisional 30-man squad but failed to make it into the 23), Luka Modric and Niko Kranjcar, both Croatia (Tottenham, Croatia failed to qualify) and Shay Given and Richard Dunne, both R.O.I (Man City, Aston Villa, Ireland missed quliaification by an arm)