In a recession, we’ve got to be careful with how we spend our pennies. So Cheryl Cole, now ditching the “Cole” part of her name in an attempt to establish her a r t i s t e credentials, charging £10 for her new album, means that a decision into buying or not buying it should not be entered upon lightly. Or you could just always do as I do, and listen to all her songs on YouTube, which counts as listening to the entire album, which gives me jurisdiction to slag it off.
The album has a few strong points. The single “Call My Name” is produced by David Guetta, and it sounds it. The lyrics are nothing deep (Cheryl Cole’s songs never are) Love Killer – good song due to the beat and her voice is a monotonous crapsack, but such is the vision of Guetta, that he elevates it from average pop fare to something you can really tap your feet to. “I Like It” is breathlessly sexy, and the Lana del Rey penned “Ghetto Baby” (which, by the way, lifts whole chunks from Lana’s “Match Made in Heaven” – there’s your self-plagiarism) oozes swagger, even if Cheryl’s delivery of the lyrics is nothing on Lana’s natural-born-sultriness.
The rest of the album is rather drab. Cheryl’s crappy voice is epitomized on Under the Sun and Sexy Den a Mutha is about the song equivalent of Ashley Cole’s penalty against Italy on Sunday, just sayin. The lyrics of Mechanics of the Heart are extremely saccharine and she sounds as whiny as her interview with Piers Morgan. And in Last One Standing, she shows how weak her voice is. The thing is, unlike Nadine Coyle, who genuinely has a sensational voice, and Nicola Roberts, who has a sweet one, there is absolutely nothing special about Cheryl Cole’s voice. Certainly not meriting a third album, and that’s why she has had to do so much promotion, half-dressed, for “A Million Lights” – it certainly doesn’t sell itself on merit, just noticin’.
Save yourself the money and don’t pay any more to this evil cow (she punches toilet attendants just because she doesn’t like the colour of their skin, just remindin’). Failing that, you can download every single one of her songs from mp3skull, that way, you’ll have all the songs on her album without her being a penny richer. Do it.
Grade: F (and that’s being generous, just sayin’)
It’s always going to be hard establishing yourself in a band that features four other band members who are all considered to be much more glamorous than you, what with Nadine Coyle and her bold, fearless voice, and Cheryl Cole’s undeserved status as the ~Nation’s Sweetheart~.
And, indeed, after Girls Aloud went on a break – much to the heartbreak of their fans, yours truly included, the solo efforts from Madams Coyle and Cole haven’t exactly blown the world away, proving to be nothing more than catchy, if forgettable, pop ditties.
So it was fair to say then, that Nicola Roberts, always maligned as “the ginger, unsmiling one”, didn’t exactly have a hard act to follow, and could almost be forgiven for allowing her album to plunge into the same depths of mediocrities that the other two did. If anything, many probably expected as much from Nicola, for, as mentioned, she was often outshone by other members of Girls Aloud, for whatever reason. In fact, her solo album, Cinderella Eyes is comfortably, comfortably better than anything released by Nadine or Cheryl – put together.
With the sound much more reliant on electronic synths rather than the everyday poppy sound that Nadine and Cheryl chose, Nicola also pens her own lyrics, and it is the combination of the fresh sound and her unflinchingly honest words that make for a winning combination.
Whilst the first single from the album, Beat of My Drum, was a catchy dance track with just the hint of bite, there are tracks on the album that are loaded with even more spice and emotional layers. Gladiator is a cheeky, hyper dance track with an intro to rival even that of Girls Aloud’s Biology - check out her swagger as she hollers “We love you faking cos you make the effort to pretend,” a line that blows anything from Close to Love out of the park in terms of innuendo.
Unlike Cheryl Cole, who has the vocal range of about one octave, Roberts is much more vocally diverse, and even then, is not afraid to push her vocal boundaries- on this album, she raps, sings, hollers, sometimes all in the space of one song. This is epitomized in Cinderella Eyes, which features her speaking lyrics, as well as a nifty falsetto on the “Cinderella, are you happy?” part.
The standout track on the album for me, though, is Sticks and Stones, which could not be more autobiographical. The gentle piano chords are a perfect complement to Roberts’ inner soliloquy “couldn't you tell lies to me? Couldn't you say I'm pretty?”. In a four-minute track, years of inner turmoil come out. The issues of feeling ugly, self-loathing, wanting to fit in will sit well with all of Roberts’ target audience, but the fact that she has genuinely experienced everything that she has written about gives the song a raw, authentic edge. It moved me to tears.
One of the things I loved most about Girls Aloud was that I could always connect to their song lyrics, particularly the ones about the tribulations of being in love, and Nicola Roberts stays true to this with her song Yo-Yo, “don’t want to be the last to know, will it be a yes or no?”, about women and the men who lead us on for their own wants. In every sense, this is an album from a woman who has a lot to sing about, whether it be about feeling insecure, being wrapped around the finger of someone who’s just using us, or simply growing up.
What’s more, Nicola Roberts isn’t afraid to drop the odd expletitive. I loved it when Girls Aloud swore, rare as it was – “shut your mouth because your shit might show” on No Good Advice was one of my all-time guilty pleasure song lyrics, and hearing the sweet, angel-faced Liverpudlian lass open her potty mouth is as much of a joy, as exhibited on Take a Bite and I. The combination of her life experiences, surprising amount of spunk and the ingenious electro-beats behind all her sings makes for a totally winning combination.
Those of us who thoroughly know our Girls Aloud inside and out out, have always known what a joy Nicola voice is – check out her embodying sexy sassiness on Sexy! No No No… in her “from top to bottom I’m a woman, sunshine” part, and the sweet melancholia in her voice during The Loving Kind’s gorgeous “I’ll do anything, sing songs that lovers sing” refrain. So it isn’t the quality of her voice that is so much the big surprise of Cinderella’s Eyes. But, rather, that she has stepped out and produced a genuinely fantastic solo album, which, in isolation, could well grace my top 20 albums of all times list. It has an entire rollercoaster of emotions, from joy, heartbreak, despair and lyrics that exhibit a real wisdom beyond her years.
Not a word of lie, I could, quite comfortably, compile a list of top 20 favourite lyrics from this album and they would all be poetry to rival that of Keats.
These are not tentative, baby steps into the world of solo-dom. This is a bold, in-your-face, I’m-here-deal-with-it album from Miss Roberts, and all the better for it. It is the best thing I have heard all year, and could well be one of the best albums of the new millennium.
I don’t pretend to be an expert in music (which is just as well, because if I did, I’d just embarrass myself), but I do know what music I like; I love me my Kanye, my Girls Aloud, anything I can get my groove on to in a nightclub, etc. So I thought I’d spread some love for songs which I feel need and deserve more attention!
Singapore (Girls Aloud)
The moving away (whether it be literally or emotionally) of a loved one is a topic that has often been covered in songs, but Singapore’s soft rhyming scheme, gentle poetry and the genius way it divides its verses up by girl in order of whom it suits the most, just really strikes a chord with me. The song didn’t even make the album cut when Chemistry was released, but later the producers must have realised the error of their ways when they released it on The Sound of Girls Aloud: Greatest Hits. Miranda Cooper, Brian Higgins, John Shave and Lisa Cowling, the songs writers really deserve commendation for the way they’ve written in the longing feeling of wishing time away without that loved one with us: “I'm watching day time TV / And wishing you were with me / I'm counting hours and days / Gotta stop believing what the movies say”
Memory of You (Girls Aloud)
Released as a B-side with The Loving Kind, Memory of You is so hauntingly beautiful that it damn near threatens to eclipse the song it’s meant to be supporting. Kimberley Walsh, who is criminally used on the majority of Girls Aloud songs, takes centre vocals here, with Nicola Roberts playing second hand, and the combination of electro-pop, elegiac lyrics (“surfing channels ‘til I bleach out the pain”) and beautiful themes of love and loss render it one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard.
Whatever you Like (Anya Marina)
I first heard this song playing softly in the background during a Dan/Vanessa/Hilary Duff threesome in gossip girl, and it fitted the scene so well. Whilst I like T.I.’s original, I found his delivery of some of the lyrics a bit seedy. The cover by Anya Marina only features the slightest of deviation in lyrics, yet there’s something about her ethereal voice that makes lines like “late night sex, so wet, so tight” sound almost angelic. It’s no mean feat, that.
Good Foot (Justin Timberlake & Timbaland)
This song was in Shark Tale. It was also a song that loads of the good dancers in my secondary school got their groove on to, leading me to consider it somewhat of a swagger song. And you know how I like my swagger. Anyway, it’s a simple enough piece, about dudes dancing in a club, but it has some brilliantly arrogant lines like “I’m not being cocky, I just noticed that she was looking at me.” Get you, JT, get you!
Fix Up Look Sharp (Dizzee Rascal)
Yet another swagger song. Whilst Dance wiv Me got all the fame for the Calvin Harris connection, I would argue that this song was a helluva lot cooler. “Sweet as a nut, sweet as Tropicana” and “if you don’t believe me bring your posse bring your crew” are lines that I would under normal circumstances, roll my eyes at, but Bow-born Dizzee carries it off with, you’ve guessed it, swag.
Pennies in My Pocket (Emilio Estefan)
Although I was far from won over by Miami Vice, the film which the song appeared in, I can’t help but love the song itself, which has a catchy beat and cute lyrics. The lyrics in fact, I found, were quite hard to decipher, but that is perhaps much of the song’s charm, that it makes you work for it.
I am not My Hair (India.Arie)
Five years before Will Smith’s daughter was whipping her hair back and forth, India.Arie sang about the topic in a much more refined style. The remix with Akon gives the song some added sass. The litany of hair-related experiments always makes me smile, the line “success didn’t come until I cut it all off” highlights the superficial nature of society and India.Arie’s heartfelt delivery of the line “I am not my hair” absolutely carries the song.
Photographs (Rihanna ft. Will.i.am)
Aurally, this song sounds like another Will.i.am collaboration, with Cheryl Cole, Three Words. But I greatly favour Photographs and would go so far as to say it’s my favourite off the Rated R album. The song captures the yearning for a failed romance, and how the woman in it has been reduced to staring at photos of them, wishing they were real. I dig.
Good Old Fashioned Loved Boy (Queen) & Lullaby (Dixie Chicks)
Pure delightfulness!
Everybody wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears)
I love Shout and Head over Heels, but this is probably my favourite Tears for Fears song. And I know one could refute it being an “underrated” song, as it did win Best Single at the Brits in 1986, but there doesn’t seem to be much love for it nowadays, or even from the band itself then. Which is shame, because despite the catchy nature of the song, the subject matter is deadly serious and deserves more attention; in the words of Curt Smith, “it's about everybody wanting power, about warfare and the misery it causes.”
Boys (Cheryl Cole)
The song was written by Adele, who’s cover of Make You Feel My Love stands as one of my favourite covers of all time, and it is so astute in capturing the mindsets of girls and boys, and how no matter how many times we get our hearts broken and how we should know better, girls still remain hopeful that love is out there. I like that.
Waking Up in Vegas (Katy Perry)
I tried to denounce the Katy Perry liking when she first came out, finding her a bit too bawdy and in your face. But, you know what? I’m bawdy and in your face, so it’s not like I can really talk?! Anyway, Waking Up in Vegas recounts a weekend in Vegas gone wrong, with hilarious consequences. Teenage Dream will by far and away be my favourite song of hers, but this is witty stuff.
November has Come (Gorillaz)
I love to try and rap along to songs, but the rapping in this song with its convoluted plays on words are so good that I am nowhere near conquering it. And Damon Albarn’s delivery of the chorus is some of his best work. A beautifully sad and nostalgic gem.
Jesus Walks with Me (Kanye West ft. Mase & Common)
I love the original, but this slight remix is even better because it has the terrific line “Do you know how I be embarrassed? / My prayers sound like Ben Stiller’s on Meet the Parents”. Which is genius, let me tell you. I also like "I walk with God, I got the scars to prove it". Although, to be totally honest, I feel that a lot of Kanye West songs are underrated. Which is somewhat ironic, considering.
So yeah, get listening! If you fancy a download of any of these, prod me and I'll get 'em uploaded for ya!
The theme this week was Musical Heroes, which was clearly left quite open to interpretation (quite when Kelly Clarkson is accepted as a musical hero is beyond me, but yeah). Cheryl left the fake tan bottle alone and instead died her hair red, a look which she worked very well indeed. As with last week, my thoughts on the performances: -
1) Storm Lee – his singing sounded flat and the dancing on the stage was also quite lame. Overall, I didn’t buy it, and it amuses me greatly that he likened himself to Bono. Delusion never fails to entertain me. 3/10
2) TreyC Cohen – I like her. She’s bubbly and confident, without being intrusively so. Her song choice – Purple Rain by Prince was mighty brave choice, but I enjoyed her rendition of it. 7/10
3) Paige Richardson – the dancing on the stage was a bit random, and he started stutteringly, but it definitely picked up. He sang Some People Want it All by Alicia Keys and on the whole, nailed the powerful bits. 7.5/10
4) One Direction – these were the little termites that picked the song My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson, but, frankly, my life does suck, with them. When Malik tried to do the falsetto bit? OH DEAR. Crap, once again. 1/10
5) Cher Lloyd – lol, noes 2/10
6) John Adeleye – I love his voice 8/10
7) Diva Fever – I thought they were cute and entertaining at the start, but the novelty is wearing very very thin now. The backing singers outsang them, and that’s never a good thing. 3/10
8) Rebecca Ferguson – Now, Nina Simone’s Feelin’ Good is one of my favourite songs, so I am very wary and critical when someone takes on such a big song. But Liverpool-born Rebecca Ferguson totally did it justice. Her voice is sensational, and her dress matched her lipstick, and, whilst she still clearly has a bit of an inferiority complex, that should soon be fixed as she goes from strength to strength on the show. 9/10
9) Aiden Grimshaw – his performance just wasn’t that good, and he did himself no favours when he sulked on-screen when the judges gave their harsh (but honest) assessment of his tepid performance. He’s got the diva attitude, but not the talent. 3/10
10) Wagner – I agree with what Danii said, which was that, in all honesty, I wasn’t totally sure what he was saying at times when he was singing. And his presence just doesn’t interest me in the least. A gimmick act, and the sooner he jogs on, the better. 2/10
11) Katie Waissel – well, well, well. I’d been ice cold to this girl for her (admittedly awful) rendition of Queen’s We Are the Champions last week, but this week, she just focussed on her singing, and it proved to be a surprisingly moving and powerful performance of Etta James’ I’d Rather Go Blind. 7.5/10
12) Bell-Amie – nothing about this performance impressed me, from the wannabe Girls Aloud eye make-up, to the random strutting about and the hair-tossing. What I will say for them, though, is that it’s good they picked a song that didn’t test their vocal range as much; that way, they didn’t expose how weak their voices are. 2/10
13) Mary Byrne – yet another vocally strong performance, I guess. 6/10
14) Matt Cardle – oh, it was beautiful!!! I’m not sure whether Bruno Mars really counts as musical hero just yet, but his rendition of You’re Amazing Just the Way You Are was sung with such panache that it made me forget the technicalities and just wish there was a boy who’d play this song for me. He’s keeping the flag flying for Essex lads, which is saying something as I really got duped good and proper by one yesterday. Haha. 9/10
So, a couple of performances I really rated!! Not too shabby.
First The Apprentice, now this? I bloody love my reality TV shows don't I? Oh dear...
Anyway. This week, the theme is number 1s. The number one its can have reached no. 1 anywhere in the world, and can be from any era in music, leaving lots of space for interpretation.
Something that Cheryl Cole clearly did not leave open to interpretation, however, was her fake tan. She is looking mighty, mighty, mighty orange. It ain’t a good look.
My thoughts on all the performances, in the order that they performed:
1. F.Y.D. They covered Billionaire, which is a good choice to pick because it’s still fresh in most of the target audience’s minds, and the vocal range is not terribly strenuous. Even so, the band did not start well, and about 20% of the song was sung out of tune by the band. I liked the cheeky change of “Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen” to “Smiling next to Simon and the Queen”, though I do believe BGT had the idea first (when Diversity sent up Simon Cowell in their final performance). The second guy who sung was much better than the first and harmonization was ok. The dancing was very good and tidy, leading me to agree with Louis when he said that they were better dancers than they were singers. In the second verse of the song, they tried to jazz things up with more funky dance moves. Cheryl commented that she actually wanted to see MORE movement from them, though, as Girls Aloud’s best dancer (but not best singer), she’d obviously say that. 5/10.
2. Matt Cardle. Awww, gotta love an Essex lad. :) His being from the Essex countryside will inevitably draw comparisons to last year’s Olly Murs, but already I am liking him a lot more than Olly; Olly was a great performer, but Matt seems very shy and unsure, which adds to his appeal for me. He performed When Love Takes Over, and, whilst I feel that he needed to command the stage more (his performance had very little movement apart from awkward gesticulating with his hands), he was vocally very strong, bar one or two shakes. I think Matt sadly still has a small-stage mentality, which is a shame because his voice deserves to take him far. 8/10.
3. John. His performance was ok, run-of-the-mill stuff. 5/10.
4. Rebecca Ferguson. This Scouse soul sister had a real Anastasia-style quality to her voice, which perhaps wasn’t fully exhibited in her song choice (Teardrops by Womack & Womack), which was safely dubbed a bit of a “safe choice” by the judges. However, Simon told her that she had “enormous potential”, which I agree with, and that with the right song, she can put her voice to full use. She looked gorgeous as well, and has a genuinely humble quality that will easily win hearts. 7.5/10.
5. Storm. Oh dear. In the lengthy build-up that X-Factor wherein the contestants are allowed to draft somewhat of a sob story for themselves, Storm revealed that at 17, he sold all his things to pursue a career in music. Now, I don’t mean to sound cold, but, if he hasn’t been successful all this time, perhaps it’s time to call it a day? Throughout his performance, I was just thinking “mutton dressed as lamb”, and there was nothing in it that did anything for me. 2/10.
6. Belle Amie. Oh dear, again. One of my favourite songs of 2010 so far is B.o.B featuring Hayley William’s Airplanes, and this was the song they picked. And they completely butchered it. There was no team cohesion; they reminded me of Manchester City at the start when expensive players were just being shoved into the team; nothing about them gelled and the whole performance was very stilted. The rapping, dear god. Absolutely atrocious. I know, as someone who bastardized Kanye West’s Homecoming on YouTube (see below), I’m not really one to talk here, but you know you’ve got problems when a Chinese girl raps better than you. In short, it was a group of wanabes. Their lack of va-va-voom means they’ll be one of the first to be voted off, and quite frankly, I can’t wait to get shot of them. Awful. 0/10.
7. Cher. chavvy and sloppy 1/10
8. Diva Fever. Oh, they are FUN!! They were Simon’s wildcard, and in the build-up to their performance X-Factor showed them being told that they had made it after all. Conveniently, they’d both been with each other when told, which quells nothing about what the sexuality of this camp duo may be. But they’re camp and fun with it, and their performance even had a quick-change bit, which would have perhaps been more at home on Britain’s Got Talent, but was certainly engaging. In terms of the singing, I felt that the dude on the left dominated, barely letting his partner get a word in, and obviously vocally, it wasn’t the best. But they’re two cute, unassuming guys, and they deserve a decent run on the show. 6/10.
9. Paige Richardson. He sang Killing Me Softly, but I felt that what he was wearing (jogging bottoms, trainers) didn’t really fit with the song. Furthermore, he was singing about a woman rather than a man, and the way he substituted “her” into “his” into the lyrics jarred. Nonetheless, he sang quite well, and I agree with Simon that it was refreshing that there was “nothing surly about [him]” in being a wildcard pick – he’s back, and he just wants to make the most of it. 6.5/10
10. Katie Waissel. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I lol’d. I’m lol’ing so I don’t weep out of sheer despair that such a piece of shit performance got this far on X-Factor. Part Queen, part Lady Gaga, part rah North-West London ditzy drama queen, she was sporting the most ridiculous crown (it looked like something a 15 year old put together for their DT Resistant Materials) and stood uncomfortably in front of a keyboard, one which I’m not even totally convinced it was her playing. She sang We Are the Champions, which is hilariously ironic because with a shit voice like that, the only thing she’s going to be a champion of is shattering glass. Louis commented that “the song is too big for [her]”, but that’s an understatement; The Crazy Frog tune would be too big for her. Get this scum off our screens, please. 0/10.
11. Mary. Vocally, she was astounding. She absolutely belted out James Brown’s A Man’s a World with conviction and power, and what a voice she has. However—a) she was wearing a ridiculous costume and had a camel’s toe and b) I’m not sure if she’ll survive the later rounds when up against the younger lot, who have sex appeal in spades, something which she most certainly does not. Only time will tell. 6/10.
12. Nicolo Festa. Oh, jesus. It really, really, really riles me that there’s goons like this clogging up out TV screens. His performance of Lady Gaga’s Just Dance was one of the most smug, self-satisfied things I’ve ever witnessed (accentuated with the fact that he wore sunglasses through the performance), and he pranced about the stage like a prima donna, not really doing anything of worth. At the end, when questioned whether or not he was a diva, he acted all indignant and said he wasn’t, which was one of the finest pieces of acting I’ve seen in years. If the career in music doesn’t work out (as it won’t), he could always become a rentboy. That would make use of his “talents” a lot better. 0/10.
13. One Direction. One Direction? New Direction? Who gives a flying pig?? Their rendition of Viva La Vida rivalled Belle Amie’s cover of Airplanes as one of the worst group performances in the history of X-Factor. I genuinely belly-laughed when one of the boys forgot his words and one of his “mates” stepped in. That Malik lad is a bit of alright (I’m probably not allowed to say this as he’s 17 and I’m 20, tut tut), but aside from him, I see no reason to flog this dead horse. 1/10.
14. Wagner. He sang “She Bangs, She Bangs”, and he was fun and lively, but voice wise, not the best. Half-way through he modulated to Love Shack, which again, was great fun, but also again, didn’t really exhibit his vocal range. 4/10.
15. Aiden Grimshaw. Aiden sang “Mad World” by Tears for Fears, and such is the emotional depth of the song that it requires a certain amount of intensity, though Grimshaw’s attempts to act intense come off like he looks a bit constipated. Ha. His singing, however, was very very strong, so props for that. 7/10.
16. TreyC Cohen. Very good. Shouldn’t have to deal with “wildcard” status; she was a much more worthy contestant than fricking Katie. 7/10.
Now, I’ve always been a big Girls Aloud fan, but it took my lengthy commutes to work this Summer with nothing but my big-ass iPod for company to appreciate the full genius of their song lyrics, rather than just view them as a fun girl-band. In fact, I used to only ever notice Cheryl's beauty and Nadine's t'riffic voice, but recently I've got a whole lotta love for Kimberley, and acknowledge that Sarah and Nicola both have their moments too. As an ensemble, I just can't get enough of 'em, and so wish they'd get back together. Thus, as I did with Regina Spektor ages back (and by ages I do mean ages, 2 years ago, Jesus), I thought I’d do my top 10 of their songs. I’ve given this a fair bit of thought, and it’s not been easy to leave out some songs, but, finally, I think I’m ready to unleash it!
Because ten just isn’t enough for this insanely wonderful five-some: The Loving Kind, Watch Me Go, Graffiti My Soul, Here We Go, The Promise are runners-up
10. She
The B-Side to The Promise, and, whilst the frontline single itself is a terrifically cheery and feel-good song about falling in love despite everything, She turned my head even more. The beat in She is one of Girls Aloud’s sexiest, as are the lyrics, about a she-wolf and how she prowls, set to a combination of sultry singing and cheeky chanting. And Nadine, who I’ve always believed to have the best voice in the band, gets to really give a pipes a good blasting in the song’s closing refrain, which she completely nails; her delivery of “you in the middle, get your coat, let’s go!” manages to be both bossy and alluring.
09. No Good Advice
“Shut your mouth, because your shit might show” is one of Girls Aloud’s feistiest lyrics, but it suits No Good Advice, a song which showed that they aren’t just like every other goody-goody girlband on the scene, and that they have more of an edge to them, an edge which brings out the inner rockstars in them. The delivery of the spirited lyrics are especially so from Nadine and Cheryl, who do some ballsy voice work here, and the funky guitar and drums in the background complement the lively tone of the song. Essentially, it’s a song about rebelling about the (well-intentioned) things your parents say to you, and do your own thing instead (the part of the song wherein the girls say a litany of things they can do without – absolute genius). Which, to be quite honest, I complete connect to.
08. Sound of the Underground
Back in the day of Popstars: The Rivals, this was their first song, which they beat their opponents with for the spot of Christmas no. 1, and, eight years on, it has more than survived the test of time. The bassline wouldn’t be out of place in a Tomoyasu Hotei instrumental and the beat is wonderfully metallic, but you’ve also got the catchy lyrics (of which Nadine’s delivery hints at the promise of a great singer to come).
07. Fix Me Up
For a long, long time, this was my mobile ringtone, and certainly one of their catchiest (and bawdiest) songs. Essentially, it’s about being horny and wanting to bung your man, but such is the cheekiness of the lyrics and the band’s delivery of them (Sarah Harding, perhaps construed as the most fun-loving of the band, unsurprisingly takes centre stage here) that the song remains on just the right side of seediness. It’s a funky, funny, enjoyable choon.
06. Control of the Knife
My favourite rendition of this is easily from the Tangled Up tour, wherein Cheryl puts her exquisite dancing talent to good use by taking centre stage. The “trick me” part, which doesn’t feature in the single, is a very ingenious use of Kelis (see also: integrating Rihanna’s Disturbia in Sexy! No No No… in the Out of Control tour). With an intrepid move into the world of reggae and ska, Control of the Knife is a mish-mash of musical flavours, topped off with a great horn solo, showing that, it’s often just as much about the instruments and producers as it is about Girls Aloud themselves.
05. Something Kinda Ooh
Something Kinda Ooh, which receives my vote for sexiest GA music video and has had me repeatedly questioning my sexuality (the silhouettes! The cars! The skimpy outfits!), is easily the best one to dance to on cheesy nights out and in the cheese rooms in Oceana. The adrenaline-pumped bass, the jolly guitar riffs, Nadine Coyle rapping, it all comes together to create what is – and will continue to be – a nightclub favourite. I still get insanely happy when I hear the girls’ voices chanting “I GOT TO HEAT IT UP, GOTTA, GOTTA HEAT IT UP.”
04. Call the Shots
One of my favourite songs to listen to whenever I’m irked with men, I really dig the message of being strong and not giving into men and their damn petty games. The ooh-ing and aah-ing give the song a little added spice, and the backing track wouldn’t be out of place in a 90s disco, which gives the whole thing a wonderfully nostalgic feel. The line “I won’t cry because I’ve stumbled through this far” shows the mature, sensitive side to the band that may not have been as well-exhibited in the past, and the whole package is just a wonderfully bittersweet and elegant affair.
03. Can’t Speak French
“Not that one!” my workmate exclaimed when I revealed my list to her after finally constructed it, for, whilst extremely re-playable and featuring a music video that makes a playful nod to the Marie-Antoinette lifestyle of gorgeous costumes and hedonistic lifestyles, Can’t Speak French is far from being one of the deepest songs ever written. But by keeping it simple, I find Can’t Speak French easy to bop along to and connect with, especially the underlying message that often, it is difficult to convey the depth of our emotions through words, so we let our actions do the talking. Plus Cheryl’s “I gotta let you know” refrain contains what is quite possibly her strongest vocal work; I think it’s absolutely lovely.
02. Untouchable
When I think about how my initial reaction to hearing this song was “yawn”, I cannot help but cringe. Thankfully, I came to my senses, and saw this song for what it really was: pure poetry. Lyrics-wise, I feel this is Girls Aloud’s most beautiful song. Clocking in at just under seven minutes long, the band take their sweet time with this one, and texturally, it happens to be one of their most ambitious songs as well. But the gamble pays off. Moving, deep, and very, very classy, Untouchable shows that Girls Aloud don’t have to be loud to be brilliant. The tone of the song can be interpreted as sad, but I also get a strange sense of uplift whenever I hear it too, which is the mark of a good piece of art. Plus there is one line in it that never fails to give me shivers – Nadine’s stunning “Without any meaning, we’re just skin and bone, like beautiful robots dancing alone”, which, to me, is like Keats for the 21st century. Sublime.
01. Sexy! No No No…
In a word, complete and utter musicalling genius. Although the music video still disturbs me, I simply cannot resist the sultry, girl-power and downright swagger of this song. The bass and guitar riffs are terrific, funked-up pop music, as is Nicola hollering “from top to bottom I’m a woman, sunshine”, which easily takes my vote for the best delivery of a lyric within the band, though there are countless other lines which I quote on a daily basis, “Did you ever think that loving would be nothing more than walking me home”, “I’ll give you nothing ‘til you show me something”, etc. The lyrics, which are relatively obscure, are generally telling of a woman not giving away her affection, and making a man “chase” her, which, I approve 100% of. The song has no structure to speak off, no chorus, bridge and verse, like the majority of their songs, and for that, it jarred when I first heard it, but on repeat listening, I was as hooked as an England left back to his mobile phone (I kid, Ashley, I kid because I love. Clean sheet against Arsenal on Sunday, yeah?) Topped off with a bass which samples “Hair of the Dog” and tonnes of stringry guitar, Sexy! No No No… is an amazing song, whether it be to dance to, sing to, or feel like a woman to (for other songs that fulfil this latter function, listen to Portishead’s Glory Box), and there will never, ever, be anything like it. Perfection? Hell yes.
My favourite sexy GA song lyrics:
01. "you dream of touching me there” - Graffiti My Soul
02. "Quarter past two
I was dressed in red
Tied up to your bed
Begged you on my knees" - Watch Me Go
03. "Oh boy, I can't tell you how sad I feel / If tonight, is just another kink in your steel" - Something Kinda Ooh
04. All the names that you called out in bed seem to fade” - Call the Shots
05. "Oh baby baby hit the light / You gotta hit the spot" - Fix Me Up
Yup, I have indeed been somewhat obsessed with GA recently (not much else has been going on in my life apart from work and and work, though I did make time to watch the Arsenal game, to which I lol'd. Hard). ANYWAY. Yours please!
I've been listening to Girls Aloud religiously recently, they being my go-to band for songs when my boyfriend pisses me off (which is just about every day). I noticed some lines really, really lingered with me, whether it be for the delivery of them, the poetry in the lyrics, or a mixture of both. Thus, this list.
01. Nicola: "from top to bottom I'm a woman, sunshine" - Sexy! No No No...
02. Nadine: "like beautiful robots dancing alone" - Untouchable
03. Cheryl: "I gotta let you know..." - Can't Speak French
04. Cheryl: intro to Sexy! No No No...
05. Cheryl: "out of the fire that burns inside me, a phoenix is rising" - Call the Shots
06. Nicola: "through wind and rain we got here, now we're flying babe with no fear" - Untouchable
07. Sarah: "your kisses taste like cyanide and that's not good for me" - Graffiti My Soul
08. Nadine: "I was Snow White 'til I started to drift" - Close to Love
09. Kimberley: "and who could ever question any crying I do" - Can't Speak French
10. Cheryl's rap in Watch Me Go
Any I've missed out that you particularly love?
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Nadine Coyle finally let us in on the full audio of her new single, Insatiable:
I'm off work today with a cold, so I've taken it upon myself to actually, you know, update my blog for once. And to start with, some good old fashioned girlcrushing:
My question is, how do you rank the Girls Aloud here in order of bungability? I would say:
01. Kimberley (the yellow dress accentuates her womanly curves perfectly)
02. Cheryl (even though she's in the most boring pose, she would look gorgeous whenever and the turquoise dress really suits her skin tone)
03. Sarah (I actually have a blue dress very similar to her's but I don't work it a tenth as well, sadly)
2009's and 2008's, if you're interested. A bit of a bizarre list, I'm afraid, an ecclectic mix of modern RnB/hip-hop and old-school choons. Anything that tickles my fancy, really, and a lot of things tickle my fancy, so.
Angie Baby (Helen Reddy)
Homecoming (Kanye West ft. Chris Martin)
Son of a Preacher Man (Dusty Springfield)
Rocky Raccoon (The Beatles)
Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright)
Clam, Crab, Cockle, Cowrie (Joanna Newsom)
Alison (Elvis Costello)
Paper Planes (M.I.A.)
November Has Come (Gorillaz)
Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy (Queen)
Sinnerman (Nina Simone)
Run this Town (Rihanna, Jay-Z and Kanye West)
Romeo and Juliet (Dire Straits)
Happy Hour (Cheryl Cole)
Samson (Regina Spektor)
Adia (Sarah McLachlan)
Empire State of Mind: Broken Down (Alicia Keys)
Boys Don't Cry (The Cure)
Talk Show Host (Radiohead)
Defying Gravity (Idina Menzel)
Glory Box (Portishead)
Head over Heels (Tears for Fears)
Hey Stephen (Taylor Swift)
Fix Up Look Sharp (Dizzee Rascal)
Lullaby (Dixie Chicks)
Tiny Dancer (Elton John)
Baba O'Riley (The Who)
Wildwood Flower (June Carter Cash)
My Love (Sia)
California Dreamin' (The Mamas and the Papas)
Chelsea Dagger (The Fratellis)
My Father's Gun (Elton John)
Seasons of Love (Idina Menzel)
Hey Jude (The Beatles)
All These Things that I've Done (The Killers)
Brandy Alexander (Feist)
Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)
Love Affair (Regina Spektor)
I Don't Want to Go to Chelsea (Elvis Costello)
Dragon Queen (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
Under Pressure (Queen ft David Bowie)
Brown Eyes (Lady Gaga)
It Wouldn’t Have Made Any Difference (Todd Rundgren)
Clothes Off! (Gym Class Heroes)
Everybody Wants to Rule the World (Tears for Fears)
Underneath YourClothes (Shakira)
Big Yellow Taxi (Joni Mitchell)
Breathe (Taylor Swift)
Travelin' Soldier (Dixie Chicks)
Jesus Walks (Kanye West)
Numb Encore (Jay Z ft. Linkin Park)
Lovely Head (Goldfrapp)
I Wish I Knew How it Feels to Be Free (Nina Simone)
Shout (Tears for Fears)
She (Elvis Costello)
Clint Eastwood (Gorillaz)
Vincent (Don McLean)
Love will Tear us Apart (Joy Division)
Lullaby (The Cure)
While My Guitar Gently Weeps (The Beatles)
Redemption Song (Bob Marley)
Sunshowers (M.I.A.)
Pennies in my Pocket (Emilio Estefan)
Jackson (Johnny and June Carter Cash)
Dream on (Aerosmith)
Wonderwall (Oasis)
Sexy! No No No... (Girls Aloud)
Don't Stop Me Now (Queen)
Friday I'm in Love (The Cure)
Make You Feel My Love (Adele)
Airplanes part 2 (B.o.B, Hayley Williams & Eminem)
The Killing Moon (Echo and the Bunnymen)
Can't Speak French (Girls Aloud)
Momentum (Aimee Mann)
The River (Joni Mitchell)
Golden Slumbers (K.D. Lang)
Hey Mama (Kanye West)
Braille (Regina Spektor)
Back to Black (Amy Winehouse)
Dance wiv Me (Dizzee Rascal ft Calvin Harris)
On to the Next One (Jay-Z)
O Saya (A.R. Rahman ft. M.I.A)
Fix Me Up (Girls Aloud)
Bossy (Kelis)
Chillin' (WALE ft Lady Gaga)
Remedy (Little Boots)
Lean on Me (Bill Withers)
Ignition (Remix) (R. Kelly)
The Call (Regina Spektor)
Machine Gun (Portishead)
Twentyfourseven (Artful Dodger)
The Way I Are (Timbaland)
Strict Machine (Goldfrapp)
Too Young (Phoenix)
The Next Messiah (Jenny Lewis)
Heartbreaker (Will.i.am ft Cheryl Cole)
You've got the Dirtee Love (Florence and the Machine ft Dizzee Rascal)
Although it was two days ago when I watched it, I hadn't gotten round to penning my thoughts on the Glee finale. And my thoughts are, chiefly, that it was lovely. I thought the past couple of episodes (the Lady Gaga one and the Funk one) were both disappointingly flat, so I'm glad the writers picked up for the ending. One thing I really like about Glee is how they paint Sue Sylvester as a cold-hearted bitch 99% of the time, but instead of making her 2D, they do occasionally show her redemptive qualities, and her putting New Directions #1 was so poignant; I wa surprised how much that moved me. The scene with Quinn giving birth was also very well done, could Dianna Agron be any more perfect? I always get emotional after giving birth scenes, but that one rivaled Juno in terms of sweetness of teenages having baby stakes. And the music, as ever was perfect - Mr. Schue singing and playing the ukulele to "Somewhere over the Rainbow" was the icing on a very sweet cake. And whilst the message Mr. Schue gave them - that it's not the destination, but the journey - sounds like something picked right out of a Joe McEldry song, you only need look at the friendships and life lessons formed from Glee club to see that he's right. Of course the show's not perfect - gaping plot-holes surround almost every scene (picking the setlist a week before regionals, really?) and the offbeat feal sometimes renders the whole thing a little hard to believe, but I'm willing to overlook the majority of the flaws, because Glee has had me beaming more than most TV shows have for a long, long time.
Top 10 Glee Song Covers
01. Defying Gravity - combined Lea Michele & Chris Colfer version
02. Don't Stop Believing - performance given in regionals (with the key change, goddamn)
03. Dream On - Matthew Morrison & Neil Patrick Harris
04. I Dreamed a Dream - Idina Menzel & Lea Michele
05. 4 Minutes - Amber Riley & Chris Colfer
06. True Colours - whole cast
07. Take a Bow - Lea Michele (the video was cringetastic but I think this song features Michele's best vocal work)
08. Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Matthew Morrison
09. Walking on Sunshine/Halo - the girls
10. Goldigger - whole cast
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And in case you'd somehow missed it (due to living under a rock, and all), the World Cup began today! I wasn't able to watch the opening ceremony or South Africa vs Mexico, but it sounds like both were brilliant. I was able to watch France vs. Uruguay. Now, I can't speak French, but I was hoping the funking football would do the talking, talking. That it didn't - the match was completely and utterly dire, so boring that me and my brother resorted to making off-colour jokes to pass the time. Hopefully tomorrow - which features my country, England - will bring more thrills.
A few photos from today's opening ceremony and thereabouts:
And finally, I think Cheryl may find she has competition in my heart as the prettiest wag. I've discovered Zaira Nara, Uruguayian footballer Diego Forlan's wag. And she is stunning!
In this very brief (but still in many ways far too long) clip of me singing and dancing drunkenly to Cheryl Cole's Happy Hour, I would most certainly say I were sour. I dunno why I'm bunging it on my blog, aside from to share the cringe factor? :3
Musically, it's not the best, but Bad Romance, Dance Wiv Me, Fight for This Love, Everybody in Love and I Dreamed a Dream are all songs that have five stars on my iTunes, and I love the personality of this lovely little group:
Nick Twisp (Michael Cera) is a horny teenage youth with a twist - he wishes to be a writer, lives by the songs of Frank Sinatra, appreciates the films of Fellini, wryly observing the lives of his divorced parents - his father, who lives with a much younger, blonder model, and his mother, who takes whatever men/f-buddies she can get. Under all his witticisms, he just wants to fit in. Whilst accompanying his mother and her current lover on a trailer park holiday, he sets his eyes on Sheeni (Portia Doubleday), whom, to him, is perfection. They have a sweet but short-lived Summer fling (a strictly first and second base one, which Twisp's virginity remains intact from), but Nick wants it to last forever. Adopting a double persona as Francois, his badass alter ego, Nick sets to doing all he can in order to get thrown out so he can go live near Sheeni. At the start of the film, Nick had noted "In movies, the good guy gets the girl. In reality, it's usually the prick", and sets about righting this for once. He is, to all intents and purposing, fighting for her love.
Youth in Revolt plays, at times, like a cross between Superbad and Fight Club, what with the plot revolving around a teenager's quest to lose his bunginity, as well as the fact that he (in his mind) constructs another, cooler vision of himself, one who has the balls to do the things that he normally dare not. It is R-rated (15 in the UK), but not terribly explicit or rude, it just doesn't hold back on the cursing and has a few sex jokes that would go beyond what would be allowed at a 12. There are some hilarious comedic sequences- one in particular involving the protagonist's bad attempt to fake his own death, but on the whole, the film is funny in a downbeat, quiet way. The quirky style of the film is complemented with performances by indie stars Steve Buscemi and Ray Liotta, both who own the camera for the brief moments they are in.
My main concern with Youth in Revolt was that I was simply never convinced that Sheeni reciprocated Nick's (admittedly extremely strong) feelings. It doesn't help, of course, that Portia Doubleday isn't a very good performer, but on the whole, I found her character cold, confused and a little annoying. Part of the joy of Youth in Revolt is enjoying all the escapades to Nick's climb to his destination, and not necessarily the destination, but I couldn't help but feel throughout the film that Sheeni wasn't a worthwhile one. (Though perhaps that doesn't matter, and what matters is that Nick thinks it is). All that said, I did very much enjoy the adorable animated sequence that played through the credits involving the two.
Michael Cera, who warmed hearts in Juno and Superbad, is completely at home in the role of dorky teenage boy, and once again, he steals the show - and my heart - here. His Nick Twisp certainly has a warped, bordering on psychotic idea of what it means to fight for someone's love but there's an everyday quality to Cera's acting and looks that renders him totally likeable, no matter what the creepy scenario he finds himself in. If it weren't for Cera, I may have found the film annoying and not all that funny, but thanks to him, it mostly manages to be bright, sweet and engaging. Cera is definitely one to keep an eye on; mark my words, that lad'll go far.
10. Diane Kruger
I'd always known Mrs. Kruger was a pretty face, but it wasn't until Inglourious Basterds last year that I realised, she can act too! She always looks priceless on the red carpet and can rock just about every single kind of look. Bonus points: she's fluent in German.
09. Rihanna
She sings tonnes of my favourite songs, is great at dancing and has gorgeous eyes. I ♥ Rihanna!
08. Romola Garai
I've always been a fan of Garai, but has really made me appreciate just how completely to-die-for she is!
07. Uma Thurman The second of three Tarantino babes in my list, which tells me that even though the director is a a little on the self-preening side, he sure can coax great performances out of pretty performers.
06. Skins girls: Megan Prescott, Kathryn Prescott, Kaya Scodelario, Lily Loveless and Lisa Backwell They're all just so pretty! All of them apart from Lily are always *younger* than me (and Lily's only two days older), which is about 56 different kinds of depressing. :P
04. Melanie Laurent A new entrant! Inglourious Basterds was my favourite film of 2009 and a lot of that owed to the sheer coolness and je ne sais quoi of Melanie Laurent's Shosanna, easily one of the fiercest women in film. The only blonde in the top 5, her yellow hair, piercing eyes and amazing bone structure render her one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen, and I'm digging her style too.
03. Leighton Meester Last year's #1 girlcrush has fallen two spots, but that doesn't mean I don't still luff Leighton to death. I actually loved her little attempt at "rapping" on Good Girls Go Bad, and Blair Waldorf is the fiercest girl evar. Hence Leighton = also fierce.
02. Evangeline Lilly
I haven't seen Lost for quite a while, but Evangeline is still extremely high up on my girlcrush list because her beauty, the freckled, dimpled kind, isn't easily forgotten! Even her name is beautiful!
01. Emily Blunt Oh, she's just complete perfection. ♥ A talented and versatile actress, a real lady with a stunningly rah West London accent, and every time I've seen her she's just exuded class in her outfits and general demeanor. To me, Emmy Blunt's like one of those girls at secondary school who's awesomeness I was always intimidated by, and could never summon the confidence to talk to, and hence only admired from afar. Beautiful!
