10 Most Attractive Women in a 2008 Film

I'm retrospectively going back through the screen sirens, year by year! The only requirement for an actress to be on Emma's list of most gorgeous ladies, is that it has to be a 2008 film I've actually seen (as opposed to not seen and only seen images of them in the film. That's what precluded me from including Ana de Armas for Blade Runner 2049, even though from the promotional images I saw, she clearly looked stunning).

My archive of hotties from 2009 to 2019, if you fancy a peruse of my taste in guys and gals! I might conduct a statistical analysis through the years, to see if there are any actors or actresses who appear often over multiple years (spoiler alert: it'll be Rooney Mara, Dave Franco and Zac Efron), but that will have to wait until after my last exam next Wednesday!

10. Hayley Atwell, The Duchess

Rooney Mara pre-fame...

Was still freaking adorable.

Film review: THE ACCIDENTAL HUSBAND (Griffin Dunne, 2008)

Uma Thurman plays Emma Lloyd, a popular radio agony aunt who specializes in advice pertaining to the matters of the heart. She is engaged to caring but stuffy publisher Richard (played by the quintessential stiff upper lip performer, Colin Firth), but one day, after giving advice to a woman that has her ditching her fireman fiancée, finds herself on the receiving end of some computer hacking retribution as his younger brother makes them engaged. 

Emma, utterly baffled by the whole situation, sets about finding the fireman (Patrick, played by relatively unknown actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan), only to find that, surprise surprise, the course of true love never ran smooth.

 

 

A Study in Turquoise.

I'm off work today with a cold, so I've taken it upon myself to actually, you know, update my blog for once. And to start with, some good old fashioned girlcrushing:

My question is, how do you rank the Girls Aloud here in order of bungability? I would say:

01. Kimberley (the yellow dress accentuates her womanly curves perfectly)

02. Cheryl (even though she's in the most boring pose, she would look gorgeous whenever and the turquoise dress really suits her skin tone)

03. Sarah (I actually have a blue dress very similar  to her's but I don't work it a tenth as well, sadly)

04. Nadine (gorgeous, but a tad too thin)

05. Nicola (trying too hard, babe)

Your thoughts?

It could have been you and me before you broke my heart, and now I'm standing here.

I only watched three films this week, which is a bit poor, but in my defence, I did have tonnes of work as well as an increase in my TV-watching (Damages, Cambridge Spies, The Simpsons, The Wire, Desperate Housewives and Gavin & Stacey). Phew!

Up in the Air (Jason Reitman, 2009)

I wasn’t keen on this film from all the clips I’d seen (and the petty fact that I don’t like George Clooney), but it was a genuine surprise. Clooney, whilst playing a smug character, wasn’t actually as unbearably smug as he has been in the past, and was actually semi-likeable as he began to acquire an epiphany toward the end. Vera Farmiga was underused for the most part, but Anna Kendrick was utterly lovely and hilarious. The script was sharp enough, and I love the cameo from the guy that played Juno’s dad. On the whole, I would say I enjoyed the movie less than Juno, but it was much better-rounded as a piece of filmmaking.

Saving Face (Alice Wu, 2004)

I loved this film! It tells the story of Hwei-lang Gao, a 48-year-old Chinese woman living in America who, on getting pregnant, is sent into exile by her ultra-conservative father. She goes to live with her lesbian daughter Wilhelmina, who, from her sexuality, has enough problems of her own. What I loved so much about this film was that it expertly judged the dynamics of the Chinese community in a western society, both embracing its good points, and criticising its shortcomings. The main character, smart surgeon Wilhelmina who’s still struggling to come to terms with her sexuality, was likeable and I genuinely cared for her plight. A bit schmaltzy at the end, but nothing wrong with a bit of feel good. I felt proud to be Chinese after this movie.

Afterschool (Antonio Campos, 2008)
Um. This film was not good. A lad in a restrictive, internet-obsessed boarding school films the death of two cokeheads in his school and shows everyone the video, and afterwards, life just spirals out of control. An extremely pretentious movie, with a lot of long pausing, and one of the most awkward virginity-losing scenes in cinema. Not recommended at all.
a

I can show you the world.

Aladdin (Ron Clements & John Musker, 1992)
Utterly timeless and enthralling Disney animation about the poor but rich-hearted "street rat" Aladdin who has to steal foodbits in order to survive, and fall in love with Jasmine, the princess. When he's manipulated by evil advisor Jafar into going into a cave and get trapped there, he finds unexpected salvation in a magic lamp, in it containing a genie that can grant him three wishes.



Pick a frame, any frame from this film, and chances are, it's utterly gorgeous. Painted with rich, saturated desert coloured hues and voiced by a talented cast (especially Robin Williams as the genie, wherein he gets to play to his strengths and has an unashamed blast with his role), as well as some lovely musical numbers, Aladdin brought back lovely memories of my childhood and how I'd watch this film over and over again. A dream.



Twilight (Catherine Hardwicke, 2008)
When I was shopping in London with Anahit last Saturday, every time we came across one of those advertising moving-board things, the DVD for Twilight came up. Such a thing actually achieved its aim, for it made me wanna give Hardwicke's movie adaptation of Stephanie Meyer's novel a re-appraisal. So I did, although thankfully the advertisement hadn't brainwashed me into thinking I was watching a good film. Re-viewing it, this time with the brother, just accentuated many of the unintentionally parts I'd spotted in the first film; whether it be Robert Pattinson's drug-addict-like performance, to the less-than-overwhelming CGI effects (and overusage of such). Kristen Stewart actually gives an alright performance, albeit one that is a little heavy on the long pauses, but Pattinson is just so awful. The source material was horribly fanfic-ish, and Hardwicke's direction is not much different; both Meyer and Hardwicke both clearly wanna bung Edward Cullen and be Bella. Thus, Twilight results in being wish-fulfilment on the part of the writer and director more than anything. A load of bungdung.



Wedding Crashers (David Dobkin, 2005)
Forgettable but enjoyable romantic comedy starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn as a pair of womanizers who like to crash weddings and then bung the women they meet from them. Wilson and Vaughn have great chemistry, as do Wilson and Rachel McAdams, who plays a woman who makes Wilson want to get to know her, and not just like, her boobs. Her gorgeous smile and pretty face made me root for her throughout. Isla Fisher is also great fun as the clingy girl who lost her bunginity to Vaughn, and hence becomes crazily attached to him. Aside from the actors (Christopher Walken, as the dad of McAdams and Fisher, is also great), the film is pretty run-of-the-mill stuff, lacking in proper plot and geniune larf-out-loud humour, but, as they go, it wasn't too bad.

Låt den rätte komma in / Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson, 2008)

Kåre Hedebrant plays Oskar, a 12-year-old who's being bullied at school and is somewhat alienated from both his separated parents, who crosses paths with Lina Leandersson outside on the snowy jungle gym, and forms a slow and unsteady friendship with her, oblivious to the fact that she's a vampire.

Curious film, this. It was appropriately stagey and cinematic in equal measure, with austere backdrops and art direction and overwrought music, and the performances were on the whole strong, particularly Leandersson, who made a mesmerizing vampire with her large eyes and constant stare. But it suffered from not knowing what it wanted to be, whether that be a Swedish Dogme-style film about growing up and finding yourself, or an ouright slasher pic. The violence, when it came, were appropriately scary and shocking, but there was something not quite right about the way they were filmed, such that I wanted to larf. All in all, the positives outweigh the negatives of this film, but I was definitely left wanting.

Camp Rock (Matthew Diamond, 2008)

lawlz.

The Inbetweeners is awesome.

Season 2 of Damon Beesley & Iain Morris' The Inbetweeners hit E4 last night, and I'd heard nothing but good things about season 1. So, before getting started on the new series, I thought I'd watch the episodes from last year, about a group of 4 lads, not sad enough to hang out with the geeks, but not cool enough to be considered popular, hence, The Inbetweeners.

First Day begins with the uprooting of Will, a posh boy whose father has left his mother and can hence no longer afford the private school fees. Once at the comp his square blazer, the oversized badge pinned to him, and his socially inept ways waste him no time in making him enemies and meaning that people are embarrassed to be seen with him in public. However, when he notices a classmate Simon getting ridiculed in public when he gets an erection, Will tags along after him and such begins an unlikely friendship with misadventure, booze, and many, many embarrassments.



In the gang is also a Russell Howard lookalike Jay, a "borderline sex pest" who has just one thing on his mind - "chasing muff" (he has an arsenal of unoriginal "she can come on my face"-type lines that I hear every day from certain lads at Uni), and a slightly dopey fruit-machine addict named Neil, who's dad may or may not be gay. The four boys try their luck buying alcohol in a pub (to no avail), bunking off school, and going to Thorpe Park, to hilarious consequences. The show reaches painful levels of amusement - such as when Will, drunk off his head, abuses Neil's dad, calling him a "bumder" (amalgamation of "bender" and "bumboy", or when Will accidentally hits a wheelchair bound woman with a frisbee, or when the door of Simon's crap yellow car falls off. If Skins is about the lot that get into nightclubs and get stoned, The Inbetweeners captures the lives of those who wait in the cold outside, trying to get in. The hip soundtrack (Kate Nash's Foundations, 1234 by Feist, Chelsea Dagger etc) adds to the authentic feel of the show and Greg Davis is on fire as the psychotic Head of Sixth Mr Gilbert, evoking all too familiar memories of the trouble I used to get into with my Head of Sixth. It's terrifically astute and biting British comedy that encapsulates, in every cringey detail, the full hardship of growing up. Can't wait for more!

Only three this week.

Last Tango in Paris (Bernardo Bertolucci, 1972)

Grief-ridden at his wife's unexpected suicide, Marlon Brando's Paul embarks on an extremely physical and ultimately destructive affair with Maria Schneider's Jeanne, a confused and neglected girlfriend of Jean-Pierre Léaud's self-absored filmmaker. 

I desperately wanted to like this film as I am both a massive fan of 1970s Bertolucci as well as Marlon Brando (well, he is my favourite actor, after all), but it was all I could do from laughing at this. The "human interaction" was embarrassing - the dialogue was extemely poor, the direction was still and self-obsessed and the sex scenes were mechanical and loveless. 

As ever, Brando puts his heart and soul into it - his monologue to the corpse of his wife is as affecting as I've been told to find it - but this was far from his best performance of all time, and Maria Schneider's constant bland line-reading hindered the quality of the acting further. 

Sloppy and depressing, only watch if you enjoy seeing people using butter as lubricant (which hopefully you don't. So basically don't watch it.)

Knocked Up (Judd Apatow, 2007)

Highly dissatisfying and uninteresting "comedy" about how schlubby bum Seth Rogen gets Katherine Heigl's high-flying career girl pregnant after being too lazy to bag up, and the ensuing bonding/whining/supposedly hilarity that arises from her being pregnant. 

The film wasn't totally awful; I really liked Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Jason Segel's turn in it, and I've been told that a drunken Emma physically resembles Charlyne Yi, so I guess I like her too. 

Plus there were moments when Rogen's loser of a character did exude a kind of charm, in a so-much-of-an-excuse-for-a-human-being-that-you-have-to-pity-him kind of way. But the two leads have zero chemistry and the premise is so derivative.

Lie to Me (John Stewart Muller, 2008)

Concluding the trilogy of rubbish films, Lie to Me is about a couple in an open relationship who find their bond tested when they find themselves falling for other people. 

Um... that's about it really, badly acted, written, directed, and a bit of an all-round fail.

Not the best selection of films last week, I'm afraid. Hopefully next week will hold better viewing options.

The most beautiful pair of eyes in 2008.

Also, whilst in Boots, I noticed that the female model looked a lot like a much-fancied actor. Anyone care to guess who?

My Favourite Performances of 2008.

So, there they were. If my choices make you go wtf like Colin, by all means, share yours.

My Top 10 Films of 2008.

2008 wasn't quite as golden for cinema as I'd hoped; there were lots of films that I had a whole lot of anticipation for, but turned out to be bitter disappointments. My taste in cinema also took a bizarre turn in 2008, in some senses, it became more pretentious (I upped the number of obscure movies I watched), but I also watched a whole lot more mainstream stuff. On the whole, sadly, I ended up watching a tonne o' crap. Here are ten films that I geniunely liked -

10. Step Up 2: The Streets
Wait, wait, hear me out, people. I know this film was no masterpiece. The poor acting (Briana Evigan, the female lead, has a starring role in the upcoming straight-to-video outing S. Darko. Can't wait for it, should be hilarious), bland plot, predictable romance plot and general tackiness of this teen dance romp. In fact, had it not been for two things, this film cold easily find its way onto the other top 10. But those two things: the soundtrack and the dance sequences - render this film one of the most enjoyable, enthralling and entertaining films of the year. As the track Get 'Em flows to become Timbaland's Bounce, before changing to Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine and back to Bounce again, the cast of the film have a massive dance off in the rain, and it is a wonderfully constructed piece of cinema.

09. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
It took two viewings of Forgetting Sarah Marshall for me to realise how much the film meant to me. The first time I saw it was a week after my 18th birthday, and I thought it OK, fairly amusing, but a nothing special piece of cinema. Fast forward eight months or so, and all sorts had happened in my life, not least me going through a similar ordeal to the film's protagonist. And in seeing myself in Jason Segel's hapless schmuck Peter, the film started striking emotional chords with me. Suddenly the film could do no wrong for me - I deeply enjoyed everything about it, from the crass sex jokes (I now ask every girl who sports a pearl necklace if they got it from their boyfriend), the tender romantic moments, Segel's comic timing, the various subplots, and best of all, Mila Kunis' standout turn as Rachel, the girl that shows Peter - and the viewers - that it's no use being hung up over someone who's not right for you, and that, in due time, you will find the right person.

08. Il Divo
The best Italian political piece since The Conformist, Il Divo follows Guiseppe Andreotti's seventh term as Prime Minsiter. He's a ferocious man who believes the end justifies the means, and is willing to do the odd underhand thing (or nine) to achieve what he believes to be good in the long run. Technically very strong (Il Divo is scored, filmed and edited with a sort of grandeur appropriate to the film), it was the events in the film that caught my attention the most; they are completely unpredictable and kept me on my toes throughout. A little of the power of the film gets sadly lost in translation, but it still remains a compelling and deeply thought-provoking watch. Not that you can't, but keep an eye on the main character; Toni Servillo gives what is easily one of the finest performances of 2008, and, along with Pat Shortt for Garage, the best male lead.

07. Happy-Go-Lucky
Also known as "the film that Sally Hawkins was robbed of an Oscar for", it stars Hawkins as the lovable Poppy, a primary school teacher living in North London who sees the good in everything and everybody. Her hyper bubbliness is considered irritating by the odd tit around her, not least her grumpy bigot of a driving instructor, Scott. The film focuses on various adventures of Poppy, whether it be in her profession as a primary school teacher, her dance classes, or her driving lessons with Scott, who is one sour grape she can't sweeten. Poppy might just be one of the best characters Mike Leigh has sculpted: she's lairy, a nutter, loving, sweet, very annoying, but with a heart of gold. With Hawkins winning our hearts in the lead, this film is every bit the light-hearted, occasionally moving, funny and bright film that Leigh intended it to be, at the same time ending things on a quietly melancholy, bittersweet note.

06. Man on Wire
James Marsh's Oscar-winning documentary is all about one man: Philippe Petit, and his tightrope walking amazingness. Shot with a cinematographic flourish, the film contains old footage, interviews with all involved, re-enactments, all edited together beautifully. I can only dream of having as much spirit as Petit, though I'm proud to say that I probably match him in the madness stakes. He is the centrepiece of Man on Wire, and I found his crazy determination absolutely wonderful, a brilliant example of the power of dreams, and what we can achieve if we put our minds to it.

05. Bigga than Ben
Peter Bradshaw was far from impressed by this one, but for me, this is my favourite film with the word "Ben" in it. The film charts two lads from Russia, dubbed "Moscow scum", who arrive in London, ready to make a bit of easy money. They soon realise that that is about as likely as Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio living out the American Dream in Revolutionary Road, so, with the aid of two alleys, they bung about uselessly, nicking stuff, ripping off banks, turning mobiles into dope and getting high. Shot on 16mm and produced by an independent company, Bigga than Ben is a cheap film, and it doesn't try to deny otherwise - just look at the chavvy title. But what it does offer is a non rose-tinted look at England's capital, suggesting it to be overrated and full of criminals, plus the film gradually conceding that no-one can survive on the life of crime forever, as witnessed when the realism kicks and one character becomes drug-addicted and things turn sour. And, amongst far too many films that have almost choked on its own self-importance, BTB is the most intentionally hilarious film of the year.

04. Somers Town
The title of this film is a place in Camden Town, where Marek, a Polish immigrant, lives with his father. A spot of luck would have him meet Tomo, a lad from the usual "troubled background" that has run away from the Midlands. Together, they begin a curious friendship, as Tomo shows Marek the ropes, which involves petty theft, the odd errand-running, and lusting after a French waitress at their local cafe. Shot in a grainy black-and-white, it has the look of a docudrama, and what with the banal and funny things the boys get up to (one catching the other mid self-bung, exchanging fake replica Arsenal shirts), this is a humble piece from Shane Meadows, but a clever, charming coming-of-age pic at that. Turgoose and Jagiello, the two male leads, are both winning and engaging in their performances, which are by turn full of life and witty, yet full of sad undertones. Along with Bigga than Ben and Happy-Go-Lucky, Somers Town completes my trio of lovely films that make me pine for and remember the fugliness of London.

03. Eden Lake
Jack O'Connell, who plays the chav-in-chief of Eden Lake, is currently on British TV screens, as Cook in Skins, this twatty knob who treats his friends like turd, acts out on a whim, and has no aim in life apart from to get pissed and stoned. His character in Eden Lake is ten times worse. Now imagine encountering him, and all his cronies, constantly terrorizing you as you were trying to have a nice weekend away with the boyfriend, because this is what happens to Kelly Reilly's Jenny in James Watkins' horror/realism piece. What really makes one shudder about Eden Lake (aside from the close-up scenes of sadistic violence) is how close to home it hits; everyone has crossed the road to avoid a bad encounter with a group of rowdy drunkards; what would come if those drunkards had noticed you crossing the road and started a fight? Kelly Reilly, our heroine, plays a brilliantly resourceful character who I was rooting for throughout, in the same way I was rooting for the chavs to gtfo and just die. But this is Nottingham, not Hollywood, and things don't quite work out like that. After all, those chavs were carrying knives.

02. Slumdog Millionaire
Skins again, this time with the actor playing the group clown Anwar stepping into a complete different role: as love-struck Jamal, who goes on Indian Who Wants to Be a Millionaire to win the love of his childhood friend, Latika. If I remove my hormone-tinted-glasses, I'd have to say that, Dev Patel isn't all that good in it, but that doesn't matter, because the rest of the film more than redeems his occasionally wooden performance (and despite not troubling Oscar any time soon, he did what he had to do in his acting). We are told from the start that Jamal's adventure is in the stars, "it is written", but that doesn't make his adventure, and the flashbacks of his tumultuous and frequently lonely childhood any less compelling. The cross-cutting between the gameshow and how Jamal came to know the answers to the questions are absolutely inspired, and with many a visual flourish (Boyle makes subtle nods to many of his previous films) and an aurgasmic soundtrack (Paper Planes never sounded so good, but having the film start to O Saya and ending with Jai Ho is a sign of pure genius), Danny Boyle took me on one unforgettable voyage, charting from playing cricket in the slums, to running for their lives from a young age, witnessing one of their mates be blinded, as well as continually finding - but then losing the love of his life. The romance was simply the icing on an already very delicious cake; the kiss between Patel and Pinto felt so, so rewarding. The most deserving Best Picture winner this side of The Departed.

01. WALL-E
No Country for Old Men, The Shawshank Redemption, 2001: a Space Odyssey, Spirited Away, Monster's Inc, Artificial Intelligence: AI and There Will Be Blood. These are just some of the films that I was reminded of when I watched Andrew Stanton's animated masterpiece. That is not to say he ripped these films off, simply that it has all the good qualities of previous outings in cinema, as well as sporting a fresh, new romantic storyline of its own. You know the story by now: lonely robot on desolate Earth finds love in another robot, a beautiful pod named Eve. I embarked on WALL-E's adventure with him; I was happy when he was, sad when he was, excited when he was, and fell for Eve just as much as he did. Along with the luscious visuals, Thomas Newman's score that fully evoked feelings of the intergalactic, and sensible yet serious plot about the disintegrating state of humanity due to pollution, this is a better animated film than 99% of those out there, and one of the finest romances to grace our screens.

If I get my work done in time, tomorrow it shall be my top 10 performances of 2008. :)

Anyone seen this movie?

I haven't seen it yet, will do so soon. What did you think of it?

I just watched Miss Pettigrew Lives for Another Day.

Fun, frivolous, with another heart-winning turn by Amy Adams (the scene where she sings the no.1 is astounding), and with some eye-poppingly pretty costumes!

Film review: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 [sarcasm alert haha]

At the time of writing this, High School Musical 3: Senior Year has an extremely lowly rating of 3.3/10 on IMDb. This saddens me greatly. My friend Luke and I watched HSM3 this Wednesday, due to it being 3.30 and W. not starting until 5.30, and HSM3 starting at 3.45pm. I’m delighted that we made this choice, because it proved to be everything that cinema isn’t these days – intelligent, moving, witty, and so, so, well acted.

Troy and Gabriella are now in their final year of high school, and they still haven’t bunged. In fact, it takes them 90 whole minutes of celluloid to even have a kiss. And even then it’s not a proper kiss. Anyway, it’s time to go to college. Troy’s dad wants him to pursue his basketball, and Gabriella’s doing Law somewhere far away. Naturally, they have preoccupations over whether or not their oh-so-deep relationship will stand this trying test, but it’s nothing the odd song or two can’t sing. In fact, Gabriella even decides it would be a cool thing to – on top of all the exams they have – put on one last school musical.

Meanwhile, Sharpay’s gotten herself a Machiavellian British little manservant, her camp brother Ryan’s trying to prove to the world that he’s not really gay by winking at the girl that plays the piano, and Troy’s basketball buddy Chad is gonna miss his mate. Oh the woes.

Despite the achingly fresh and original storyline, HSM3 still stays true to its bubblegum roots, wherein all the characters will be break into song whenever they damn well please – whether that be in asking a girl to prom, in the middle of a basketball game, or, best of all – in a deserted garage, where the scene between Troy and Chad is bromancetastic.

Vanessa Hudgens deserves an Oscar for her heart-wrenching performance of the teenage girl who is torn between her loves – her education, and her stunning, not at all impotent boyfriend, although this really is a group effort, with the entire cast not putting a foot wrong throughout the entire film.

If you do not cry at the scene in which Troy finds Gabriella and they have their private prom moment, then I tell you, you have no heart. Everything in HSM3 has been building up to this moment, which is in itself a terrifically post-modern homage to Shakespearean courtly scenes. Everything about this film is perfect, and I so wish that I could sing like Ashley Tisdale.

(Nah, seriously, I liked it quite a bit – 7/10. It was totally shit of course, but ya know, in a good way. It was much funnier than Burn After Reading, at any rate. The gospel version of “We’re All in this Together” was good fun.)

Burn After Watching.

Have just gotten back from the cinema, where I saw Burn After Reading, a film I'd been quite anticipating - for the crazy looking trailer, the cast and crew involved, and the Oscar buzz already being generated. Most importantly, however, the film posters, which are a throwback to the work of legendry movie poster designer Saul Bass ( 1 // 2), are bunging wonderful. Even though my cinema ticket cost the equivalent of £1.42 and a half pence (Orange Wednesdays bb), I was not impressed in the slightest. It was a load of turd.

- The cast were AWFUL; living proof that you can bung as many talented performers as you want into a movie, but they’ve actually got to, you know, bother acting. Frances McDormand epitomized irritation, Brad Pitt did nothing apart from hang about looking like he was missing a few up there, John Malkovich swore a bit, George Clooney looked beardy and confused, and Tilda Swinton worked the asexual cold bitch shtick that is like, beyond passé. The guy that played Juno’s dad in Juno was OK enough, but eh. And no-one needs to know what George Clooney and Tilda Swinton bunging sounds like.



- The plot was just ridiculously poor. Don’t get me wrong, I love fun and frenzy as much as the next guy – District 13 is bloody marvellous – but one got the distinct impression that the Coen brothers had no idea what to do with this movie, created a bunch of characters and threw in a sex toy for good measure. Er, no.

- Speaking of the Coen brothers, those Oscars for Direction & Best Film they picked up earlier this year must have really gone to their head, and instilled them with the belief that they can fob their fans off with just a bunch of crazy shit that doesn’t make much sense. Whilst it’s paid its dividends in the past – The Hudsucker Proxy & Intolerable Cruelty were good fun – Burn After Reading lacked the heart and soul that those movies had, and a result, just looked lost. As for the SPOILER killing off of Brad Pitt's character /SPOILER, it was irritating when you did it with Josh Brolin in No Country for Old Men; don't try and pull that same stuff twice in two years, please. You're not as clever as you think you are; your viewers do actually have memories.


f
- Furthermore, um, Working Title and Focus, what the 4-x were you thinking? If it wasn’t for the likes of Atonement and Pride & Prejudice that these two production companies have collaborated on, I would be pretty unimpressed with the pair of them. How is it possible that the producers did not step back, look at their excuse of a film, and feel ashamed?

- Lastly, was this meant to be a comedy? I laughed a little at the start (due to wanting to larf at a Coen brothers' movie more than anything), but as the movie went on, the laughs wore thinner and thinner. Brad Pitt repeating "Osbourne Cox" over and over again does not a funny scene make. The main lulz I got from this movie was in how terrible it was.

All in all, I’d quite like my time and money back. I’m deeply, deeply disappointed in the Coen brothers for wasting my time with this, and feel that everyone involved in this should hang their heads in shame. If this gets anywhere near Oscar nominations, then there is something seriously wrong with the world.

Two Terrible Movies.

Now that I'm a University student, I don’t get as much time for watching movies as I used to. So when I do watch a movie, I expect it to be good. Sadly, the last two that I wasted my time with were anything but good.



The Quatermass Experiment
I went along to the Sci-fi’s society screening of The Quatermass Experiment with three of my friends yesterday, in complete blindness about the film and its plot. Which just goes to show that I should consult IMDb more frequently, because if I had, I would have had two hours of my life back, to have done some of the thick stack of Maths homework I have, to read a novel, or even, say, watching paint dry. Because any of those things would have been exponentially more exciting than The Quatermass Experiment.

The plot revolves around a failed space experiment (or something or other), resulting with, out of the three astronauts that had gone into space, two are missingng and the remaining one in a stage of crazed coma.

This was a remake of the 1953 film, and director Sam Miller must have felt a burning desire to the maintain the campness of 50s B-movies, because everything about it - from the stodgy script, to the actors who performances make Keira Knightley look expressive – was below par. The finale brought the lulz in the biggest way; my friends and I were just sat there blankly, and overall, nothing made sense, except that the BBC were really bored one day and couldn’t be arsed to make a proper movie. TQC has done little to sweeten my already tempestuous relationship with fantasy movies. As one of my friends said, “the only good thing about it was that it had David Tennant”, but for all his endeavours, no amount of Doctor Who impressions could redeem this “film”, a load of absolute bollocks. E.

Good Time Max
I downloaded this in time for the “Franco Revolution” (the non-Spanish civil war type) what with his performance in Pineapple Express being touted as one of the finest comedic turns of the year (I’m still yet to see it, but I will – any film that plays M.I.A.’s Paper Planes in the trailer has my interest as I bunging love that song). Anyway, this film was incredibly. Directed, co-written and starring James Franco, it’s about two brothers, Adam and Max, both born geniuses, but, whilst Adam purses a career as a surgeon, Max falls down on the slippery slope of drug addiction. After a drug deal gone wrong, Max convinces his brother to go far away and start a new life with him, but it’s not long before his rehabilitation process falls flat on his face and life gets worse than ever.



The only thing of interest in this entire film was probably the sight of James Franco in glasses, for everything else was just an indulgent, sprawling mess. Some of the acting was so poor that it wouldn’t have been out of place in my Sixth Form’s High School Musical-style-play, with Franco himself failing to shine, drooping back into his annoying Spiderman days; he came across as just a whiny, lazy little bastard who invoked no sympathy from me whatsoever despite being so aesthetically pleasing. I usually like to wax lyrical about independent films and their inner beauty, but this has to site alongside Lost in Translation and 40 Shades of Blue as one of the dullest indies I’ve ever seen. Bung, and not in a good way. E.

On the bright side, however, I’m going to the adorable Little Theatre Cinema with my friend Luke today to see the Coen brothers’ Burn After Reading. Am excited!

How bunging cute is this?

Daww!!

Jake Gyllenhaal with long hair

Don't think I like, sorry.

The Monday Mmmm.

Because I'm kind, four men today.

Da baddie in Blindness // A sweet English boy // A Scotsman in a suit // He's Chuck Bass

And lastly, something a little less savoury, my little bro's attempt at artwork, Dark Knight style.

Wai so bung?

01. Summer 2008. How was it for you?
02. Who’s your favourite girl band?
03. If you ever met Ray Winstone, what would you tell him his worst performance was? Or would you stay silent?
04. What’s your favourite game to play on Wii/Playstation?
05. Who do you consider to be the ugliest actors and actresses?