10 Prettiest Ladies in a 2009 Film

My archives of eye candy lists by year are here, if you want to inspect my taste in guys and gals holistically!

10. Léa Seydoux, Inglourious Basterds 

09. Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air

10 Fittest Women in Film, 2012.

I'm off to New York for five nights later, but before I left, thought I'd give a list of the prettiest women in a 2012 film (that I've seen), as 2012 was a very decent year for female eye candy!

10. Kristen Stewart, Snow White and the Huntsman (new entrant)

10 Fittest Women in Film, 2015.

I had so much fun doing the 2016 hotties list, I thought I'd do the same, going back each year!

 10. Anna Kendrick, Pitch Perfect 2

5 Brief Cinema Reviews.

Men In Black 3

The third instalment of the terrifically fun sci-fi action series, although this time round Tommy Lee Jones does not feature that match, and his younger re-incarnation in the form of Josh Brolin does. Will Smith does the Will Smith thing better than anyone else and he and Brolin have terrific chemistry (better, arguably, than Smith and Lee Jones do), and the plot itself is very well-thought out and entertaining. There was a twist at the end which unexpectedly drew a tear from me, and the villain Boris is played with gusto by Jemaine Clement. Oh and there’s even time for a fabulous cameo by Nicole Scherzinger at the start! Great fun, recommended. B+.

What to Expect when You’re Expecting

The main draw to this pregnancy themed romcom is, obviously, the glittering cast. Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Mr Schue off Glee, Dennis Quaid, Anna Kendrick, as well as Chace Crawford for some serious swoon points and Cheryl Cole in a camero so poor that you almost wish she'd stick to singing - then you remember what she sings like. The inter-weaving plotlines regarding various families trying to have a baby in Atlanta (as well as Diaz and Morrison’s plot strand in California) go quite well, and there are some well-done tonal modulations (Anna Kendrick is radiant, as ever.) However, the subplot with the “dad club” run by Chris Rock is just extremely irritating; we’re supposed to believe those fathers have ~swagger? It doesn’t work. Furthermore, I found myself engaged in the plots with differing degrees (Kendrick/Crawford: a lot, Diaz/Morrison: not at all). It’s a romantic comedy that tries to be serious but doesn’t even get the jokes right. C.

The Dictator

Ahhhh, now this WAS funny!! Bruno was a serious mishap in Sacha Baron Cohen’s attempt to re-reach Borat levels of hilarity, but in The Dictator, he’s found his mojo again. He plays General Aladeen, a despotic and rather crazy and deluded dictator of a fictional country. He goes to New York to tear up a peace treaty, aided by his right hand man Ben Kingsley (who is secretly plotting his death). In his botched torture (the failed torture is carried out by cinema’s original loser, John C Reilly), he escapes and finds salvation in Anna Faris’ organic food shop. As with Borat and Bruno, there is no limits to the people who The Dictator offends. But I guess that’s why I found it so funny. Furthermore, unlike Borat, there is an actual plot, an actual adventure, which makes The Dictator marginally more interesting than its predecessor. Plus you just have to pay the admission price to see Cohen and Ben Kingsley snog. B.

Marvel’s Avengers Assemble

A delightfully entertaining mishmash of superhero characters featuring Robert Downey Jr’s self absorbed Tony Stark (Iron Man), Chris Evans’ earnest Steve Rogers (Captain America), Mark Ruffalo’s calm Bruce Banner (the Incredible Hulk) and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. There’s witty repartee aplenty (one line that had us all guffawing in the audience was “We need a plan of attack!” “I’ve got a plan – attack”) and the visuals are to die for, not to mention the finale showdown in New York, which features some eye-watering CGI and chase sequences. Emotionally, I was left wanting, but from a Hollywood Blockbuster, Avengers is as entertaining as they come, with a truly delicious villain in the form of rising British star Tom Hiddlestone. B+

Snow White and the Huntsman

Oh dearrr. So dull was this film that it took me a good 120 minutes to realise that Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in Avengers, was the Huntsman in this film, trololololo. Yeah, I was just massively disappointed, especially as the trailer had made this film look epic. My brother pointed out, quite fairly, that one of the biggest failures of the film was that Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is supposed to be more beautiful than Ravena (Charlize Theron), and pretty as Stewart is, Charlize Theron is infinitely more beautiful than her, particularly with the fabulous outfits, hair and make-up she sports in this film. Aside from that I was just utterly bored, there were a few action sequences worth a damn but it all seemed rather out of place in a film based on a fairytale. I wasn’t even piqued by the set of Ray Winstone and Eddie Marsdan as dwalves, that’s how dull this film was. F.

Fashion of the 2010 Oscars.

So, The Hurt Locker got Best Pic and Director, and Avatar swept the technicals. Just friggin' wonderful. I'm delighted I didn't waste my time watching it live (though I'll probably watch it, in normal time, just for the star-gazing), but at least the fashion was pretty.


Really digging Mariah in dark blue.


I'm still not keen on Mulligan's haircut, but her dress was pretty. Her Prada gown with Swarovski crystal embellishment really is something special.


Not one of Diane Kruger's best outfits, by her own extraordinarily high standards.




Aww, I love how Gabby Sidibe wears outfits that totally compliment her figure. I cracked up at her "I'd hit that" about Gerard Butler comment.






Tina Fey!




Anna Kendrick has got it spot-on with her awards season outfits this year, and this is no exception. Her draped Elie Saab Haute Couture gown highlights why nude is this season's black, and the diamonds compliment her outfit.




Mo'Nique, like her Precious co-star, also dazzles in blue.


I love the black-on-red on Sigourney Weaver.


Kristen Stewart looking as constipated as ever.




Oh dear, Vera.


She didn't deserve her nomination by any stretch of the imagination, but at least Pen looked beautiful in Donna Karan.


Christopher Plummer and Helen Mirren looking appropriately regal.

So that's that! Who's outfit was your favourite, m'dears?

It could have been you and me before you broke my heart, and now I'm standing here.

I only watched three films this week, which is a bit poor, but in my defence, I did have tonnes of work as well as an increase in my TV-watching (Damages, Cambridge Spies, The Simpsons, The Wire, Desperate Housewives and Gavin & Stacey). Phew!

Up in the Air (Jason Reitman, 2009)

I wasn’t keen on this film from all the clips I’d seen (and the petty fact that I don’t like George Clooney), but it was a genuine surprise. Clooney, whilst playing a smug character, wasn’t actually as unbearably smug as he has been in the past, and was actually semi-likeable as he began to acquire an epiphany toward the end. Vera Farmiga was underused for the most part, but Anna Kendrick was utterly lovely and hilarious. The script was sharp enough, and I love the cameo from the guy that played Juno’s dad. On the whole, I would say I enjoyed the movie less than Juno, but it was much better-rounded as a piece of filmmaking.

Saving Face (Alice Wu, 2004)

I loved this film! It tells the story of Hwei-lang Gao, a 48-year-old Chinese woman living in America who, on getting pregnant, is sent into exile by her ultra-conservative father. She goes to live with her lesbian daughter Wilhelmina, who, from her sexuality, has enough problems of her own. What I loved so much about this film was that it expertly judged the dynamics of the Chinese community in a western society, both embracing its good points, and criticising its shortcomings. The main character, smart surgeon Wilhelmina who’s still struggling to come to terms with her sexuality, was likeable and I genuinely cared for her plight. A bit schmaltzy at the end, but nothing wrong with a bit of feel good. I felt proud to be Chinese after this movie.

Afterschool (Antonio Campos, 2008)
Um. This film was not good. A lad in a restrictive, internet-obsessed boarding school films the death of two cokeheads in his school and shows everyone the video, and afterwards, life just spirals out of control. An extremely pretentious movie, with a lot of long pausing, and one of the most awkward virginity-losing scenes in cinema. Not recommended at all.
a

A Look Ahead to Best Supporting Actress.

I have been woeful this year with my "analysing" the oscar categories; this is the first one. This is partly down to the fact that I haven't seen, nor do I have any interest in seeing, some of the Oscar nominated movies this year, hence I can't really form an opinion. However, having watched Up in the Air last night, I can finally get round to analysing at least one category, and luck should have it that it's one of my favourites.

01. Mo'Nique for Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Precious' mother, Mary Jones, sits on the couch all day, enjoying her telenovels, eating whatever she forces her daughter Precious to cook, occasionally getting up to abuse Precious, and living off benefits. She's a horrible monster; when Precious was first abused as a young baby, all Mary cared about was that the man no longer loved her, and every time she opened her mouth on screen, I shuddered. I didn't care for the film one jot, but Mariah Carey, Paula Patton and in particular Mo'Nique and Gabby Sidibe gave terrific performances, almost making the wretched experience worthwhile. Detestable as Mo'Nique's Mary is, she commands our attention, and her delivery of the final monologue blew me away; it no way made up for the sixteen years of torture she imposed upon Precious, but it offered a window (however twisted and wrong) into the depths of her twisted villainous logic, and the extent of the emotions depicted were so sincere and realistic, that we believed Mary thought she was in the right. With all the pre-cursors she's gotten; BAFTA, SAG, Golden Globe, various critic's awards, Mo'Nique will be a shoo-in to win, and to be quite honest, it's totally deserved. The other four nominations are all acceptable enough (save Cruz, ugh), but Mo'Nique knocks them all out of the park. One of a kind. A

02. Anna Kendrick for Up in the Air

Anna Kendrick, or "Her off Twilight" as she'll probably be better remembered in future years, surprised me with a cute and loveable performance as Natalie Keener, eager new yuppie in George Clooney's organisation (who's job it is to fly all over the states just to fire people), who is keen to demolish flying and instead do all the firings over webcam. Graduating top of her class and seeming to be extremely intelligent and focused, Keener followed her boyfriend around, leading her to this job, showing that all the degrees in the world won't teach you how to make good decisions. At the start of the movie she comes across as a know-it-all who thinks she's got it all sorted, a notion Clooney's character soon quells for her when they begin to do some firings together. Although it's not a hugely taxing role, Kendrick plays Natalie with sensitivity, particularly when her character begins to realise she doesn't have the answers to everything, and how easy things in theory can be difficult in practice. Kendrick also has some fine comic timing throughout the movie, as well as delivering a cute monologue about what she looks for in her perfect man. It's a character that I, as part of the twitter-and-texting generation, can emphathise with and enjoy; and her transition from naive kid to slightly-more-in-the-know adult is well channeled through the film. B+

03. Maggie Gyllenhaal for Crazy Heart

In a performance that has drawn obvious comparisons with that of Marisa Tomei  in The Wrestler, Gyllenhaal plays a young reporter, Jean, who is drawn in to Bridges' Bad Blake, thus cementing the central romantic thread of the film. Blake is battling with alcohol addiction, Jean battling with loneliness. Together, the two make a good, if dysfunctional pairing, and the chemistry between really anchors what is otherwise a fairly run-of-the-mill "man on the slippery slopes finds redemption in good woman" tale. A good, believable performance, but nothing special at all by Gyllenhaal's own standards. B-

04. Vera Farmiga for Up in the Air

Vera Farmiga first made waves on my girlcrush radar in 2006's The Departed, wherein she spent a good deal of the movie running about in T-shirt and undies, looking pretty damn gorgeous for a woman of her age. In Up in the Air, her beauty is commented on twice, which made me happy, because she is, in my eyes, an unusual beauty. In Up in the Air, she gives one of her lesser performances, but is still charming enough to watch. As the mature, sensual older woman, she exudes class and sexuality in every step she takes, someone who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Nothing overly special, but pleasant enough, especially in the scenes she shares with Clooney, which have witty reparte to the max. There's nothing particular about the things she says, but it's more the way she says it. It's a performance that's so good because of the energy she exudes, rather than any real acting she does. B-

05. Penélope Cruz for Nine

Don't get me wrong, I love Penélope, like 90% of the time. Even if I was somewhat underwhelmed by her performance in Broken Embraces, I still appreciated her talent for the most part there, and her performance in Volver ranks as one of my favourite of all time. However, her nomination for Nine? Nein. As Guido's mistress, her character is awfully written; directly shoved into the box of "shunned mistress", and Penélope suffers from the poor writing in her performance. Her dancing is very good, appropriately sultry and seductive, but the acting performance left me less than impressed. Men probably won't mind that her acting muscles weren't stretched as they had her in slutty clothes throughout the movie to make up for it, but to me, her clothes (or lack thereof), simply made an already difficult-to-like character even more dislikable. If anyone should have been nominated for this movie, it was Marion Cotillard, who really did evoke empathy from me as the wife who recognises all her husband's flaws. Cruz, for the most part, is a wonderful and lovely actress, but in Nine? Well, she ain't no Sandra Milo in 8 1/2, let's say that. D

Who will win: Mo'Nique, Precious

Who should win: Mo'Nique, Precious

Who deserved to get nominated: Melanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds!!!!! Um, hello! She only have the fiercest performance of the year! Bad work, Academy, for missing out on this awesome performance.

BAFTAs, 2010.

Ever since I've started this movie blog, it's been a tradition for me to write a full report of the BAFTAs, (2009's, 2008's, 2007's and  2006's), but I honestly don't have much to say about tonight's show. Jonathan Ross was efficient if not excellent as a presenter and some of the guests caught my eye with their stunning outfits/looks - Anna Kendrick had a beautiful dress (and her Jimmy Choos! I want) and Matthew Goode looked so damn bungable even if he did pile on the hair gel way too much. The worst acceptance speech was easily Kristen Stewart's; I couldn't tell if she had diarrhea or a stinkbomb in her mouth, but she looked so uncomfortable and her pseudo-modesty simply pissed me off further. Bitch looked anaemic. I genuinely shouted with glee when I saw Christoph Waltz, beard and all, and Saoirse Ronan carried herself well too. The most entertaining acceptance speech fell when the translator for the director of A Prophet was blatantly bananawasted. Har. Bonnie Wright in Prada made me almost chunder the chocolate cake I'd consumed earlier today out; get the f_ck out, bitch, you have no talent and are only famous for shagging someone off Twilight; come back when you've had some acting lessons. That said, I liked the double Brit winning duo of Carey and Colin for Actress and Actor respectively. Mulligan should have kept her hair brunette though. I noted Colin Firth get a celebratory back pat from Stanley Tucci; apparently they're mates; I find this absolutely precious! Also, though I usually switch off by the time we get to that "BAFTA Fellowship" bollocks, this time I was genuinely fixated and thought Vanessa Redgrave's speech was very moving. Gabby Sidibe smiling throughout was rather heartwarming; you can tell she's a healthy, happy girl. Um, not much else to say really; I did squee pretty hard at the start of the show when I saw Anne-Marie Duff, Gabby Sidibe, Saoirse Ronan, Matthew Goode, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and various other celebrities I like arrive on the red carpet. As much as I love Romola Garai, her multi-coloured "dress" was not a good idea. Vera Farmiga, on the other hand, looked downright gorgeous, whilst Robert Pattinson looked like he really needed a shave. But it was definitely one of the lesser BAFTAs; classy rather than heart-stopping. As ever, they proved to be nowt much but a dry-run for the Oscars. Except in London tonight, it wasn't even dry.

I don't know why, but I seem to have a fair bit of apathy towards the awards season this year. It doesn't make sense as I love Inglourious Basterds as much as I loved Slumdog Millionaire last year. But all this hoo-ha over Avatar vs. The Hurt Locker (the former of which I haven't seen, but if Titanic was anything to go by, oh dear, and the latter I saw last week and left me nodding off at the parts when I wasn't downright irritated) is actually boring my bollocks off. Of course, there's excitement to be had in predicting the acting categories, some of which are wonderful - even though I loathed Precious, even I can tell that the performances in them were stellar. And Christoph blimmin' Waltz; legend! But I dunno. George Clooney, James Cameron, Katherine Bigalow, Lee Daniels and various others are all people I'd probably bung on a dartboard, and hence, the prospect of seeing even more of them makes me want to curl in a ball and diaf.