Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Look what Cara Delevingne’s bad acting made Taylor Swift do.

Just like every other woman with a perpetual mental age of about 15, I watched Taylor Swift’s ‘Look What You Made Me Domusic video as soon as it dropped, and have re-watched it several times to unpack all the shady Easter eggs not-so-subtly littered throughout.

I’m a fan of the regression-to-playground-levels-of-petty on display in the video (Amy Dunne recognises Amy Dunne, shall we say), and absolutely belly-laughed at the dig at Tom Hiddleston (he deserves it for being in High-Rise).

I noticed something curious in the coda of the music video, however, that piqued my interest. 

It's when Taylor Swift has 15 versions of herself lined up and riffs on the public’s perceptions of her. In the Taylor Swift of You Belong to Me era, she is wearing a T-shirt with several of her squad’s names on (for example, Selena [Gomez], Lena [Dunham, ew], Ed [Sheeran] and the three HAIM sisters). Look...

Cara Delevingne is missing!

Cara Delevingne played Mother Chucker in TS’s ‘Bad Blood’ music video, and to this day, it’s still her best acting performance. Majorly aided by the fact that she isn’t given any speaking lines, she just smoulders into the camera whilst looking badass. Her hair is on point, she's kitted out in figure-hugging bondage gear and looks fierce holding a pair of numb-chucks.

My suspicion is that Cara Delevingne’s friendship with Kendull Jenner (they even have an acronym for their womance, CaKe), trumps her affinity to Taylor Swift, and, given the bulk of LWYMMD is shade at Kanye West and Kim Kardshian (Kendull’s half-sister), the battle lines are drawn.

To add clout to this argument, Karlie Kloss, another member of TS's 'Squad' who was also in the 'Bad Blood' music video and whom Swift used to talk up in public and on social media even more than she did Cara, is also missing from the T-shirt. She posted a picture with Kendull on Instagram in July, suggesting that when it comes to picking sides, she, too, may have picked the model over the popstar.

The second explanation for their omissions is that both Blahra and Karlie are on the T-shirt, but just somewhere not visible to the camera. 

But I don’t buy this. Someone as calculated and as adept at public relations as Taylor Swift would have been fully aware of the optics of having them on the T-shirt but not visible to the screen. In short, if she wanted their names displayed, she would have had their names displayed.

Or, there is a third explanation for why Cara Delevingne isn’t on the T-shirt:

Taylor Swift, like me, wasn’t big on Valerian.

(By the way, at the weekend, my brother and I watched Lawless, which featured Blahra’s Valerian co-star, Dane DeHaan, and, as much as it means me eating humble pie, he was actually pretty good in it! Having now seen him a role that requires more than reversion to the ‘broody anti-hero’ archetype, I have more respect for him as an actor).

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