Inbetween a 15 and an 18

This blog is rated 15 for strong sex references.

Every year, I like to analyse the BBFC short insight for a film, before I’ve even seen it. Last year, I nerded out to the BBFCinsight for Dunkirk, as it was an unprecedented case of four different adjectives for each of its classification issues.

The year before, I was excited because Suicide Squad got a 15, which is really unusual for a big studio superhero movie. Funnily enough, Suicide Squad’s short insight is actually subsumed in Dunkirk’s, ‘sustained threat, intense sequences, moderate violence, strong language’, yet Dunkirk is a rating lower.

Tangential, but Dunkirk has Harry Styles (a singer-turned-actor) and Suicide Squad has Cara Delevingne (a model-turned-cocaine addict). They used to ‘date’ each other. I daresay one was substantially more successful at acting than the other.

2018’s bout of ‘Emma critiquing the BBFCinsight of a film having not even seen the movie’ comes for the upcoming The Festival. For this film, Iain Morris and Damon Beesley, the creators of The Inbetweeners, collaborate again, as director and producers, respectively.

Preach.

This piece by Melanie Phillips in The Times, about the brazen double standards and hollow virtue-signalling from Hollywood by wearing black at the Golden Globes on Sunday, was too good not to share. Click on the image for a bigger version. #GoldenGlobesSoMessy

Oh, and the BBFC covered Get Out in their podcast today, the cover graphic which I thought was simple, arresting and perfectly captured the themes of the film:

A rant about the shite BAFTA nominations that came out today will be incoming later this week!

Thoughts on the 2018 Golden Globes.

Here be the list of winners. My thoughts:

- Yay for Sersh! She is an amazing actress, who I’ve been following avidly ever since she amazed as Briony in 2007’s Atonement. It’s amazing to think that at just 23, she’s already being regarded as ‘overdue’, but that’s a testament to how good she is. I really thought Saoirse should have won the Oscar for 2015’s Brooklyn, and, although I’ve not yet seen Lady Bird, judging from the quality of everything else she’s done, I have no doubt she’s incredible in it. 

I’m also so relieved Margot Robbie’s shameless Oscar-begging didn’t prevail. Margot is more of a ‘celebrity’ than Saoirse, and the Golden Globes are renowned for favouring the more glamorous stars. But so, so happy that in this case, Saoirse Ronan’s inimitable talents transcended star-seeking!

- Related to this, well done to Greta Gerwig, who’s directorial debut, the female-ccentric Lady Bird, won Best Film – Musical or Comedy. I can’t wait to watch it!

Look what Cara Delevingne’s bad acting made Taylor Swift do.

Just like every other woman with a perpetual mental age of about 15, I watched Taylor Swift’s ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ music video as soon as it dropped, and have re-watched it several times to unpack all the shady Easter eggs not-so-subtly littered throughout.

I’m a fan of the regression-to-playground-levels-of-petty on display in the video (Amy Dunne recognises Amy Dunne, shall we say), and absolutely belly-laughed at the dig at Tom Hiddleston (he deserves it for being in High-Rise).

I noticed something curious in the coda of the music video, however, that piqued my interest. 

It's when Taylor Swift has 15 versions of herself lined up and riffs on the public’s perceptions of her. In the Taylor Swift of You Belong to Me era, she is wearing a T-shirt with several of her squad’s names on (for example, Selena [Gomez], Lena [Dunham, ew], Ed [Sheeran] and the three HAIM sisters). Look...

Cara Delevingne is missing!

Celebrity sighting: David James at King's Cross train station.

I met Per Mertesacker last year. I wonder which footballer I'll meet next. Dare I suggest... the racist scrote?

Film review: HOUSEBOAT (Melville Shavelson, 1958)

This review is my entry to Phyllis Loves Classic Movies’s fabulous Cary Grant blogathon, where every entry is a celebration of the man’s varied and illustrious CV. Head on over there to read about all the films he’s been in!

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Tom Winston (Grant), a recently widowed father of three young kids, and Cinzia Zaccardi (Sophia Loren), the aristocratic daughter of an Italian count who plays childminder to the kids, find unlikely love (and a whole lot of miscommunication) in Melville Shavelson’s gentle 50s comedy.

Found Girl.

A couple of blurry / sub-par photos from the BFI London Film Festival!

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I was walking past Leicester Square on Wednesday after the disappointing The Girl on the Train and realised that all the commotion was due to the BFI film première starting!

My phone was, lamentably, on very low battery (biggest shortcoming of Samsung S4 goddamnit) and I was too far away to get good pictures, but here are the low-quality, grainy ones I was able to get!

 

Hi Draco! (sadly I didn't get to grab his hand like I did with his Harry Potter co-star five years ago!)

Jessica Oyelowo

The next few were me grappling desperately trying to get decent photos of Rosamund Pike with my phone's waning battery, all the way squealing 'ROSAMUND PIKE!!!' at the top of my voice.

This is from the next day, before my viewing of A United Kingdom: 

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And this was the Q&A with director Nicolas Pesce, after The Eyes of My Mother yesterday.

So yeah, I had an amazing time during the BFI Film festival! Love living in London. ♥♥♥♥♥

Hopefully next year, I'll a) see more than two films and b) have more battery on my phone to take better-quality photos ♥

The Day I Met Per Mertesacker in Sushisamba.

I was in Sushisamba with Anna (my best friend who this blog is named after) on Saturday evening, and out of the corner of my eye, I clocked someone who resembled PM a lot. I wasn't certain it was him though (the lighting in the Sushisamba bars is very dim), so I took a photo on my phone to investigate. As soon as the flash went off, the guy in question covered his face, which was basically an admission of guilt on his part. Not to be deterred by the fact that he obviously wanted a quiet drink and not be bothered, I gulped down my wine for a bit of Dutch courage, and approached the 6'6'' giant.

To Mertesacker's credit, he was very classy and obliging given this sort of thing happens to him all the time. I didn't give any intimations that I was, in fact, a Chelsea fan, and instead just gabbled 'I can't believe it's really you!!!' Smooth. But, despite recognising what an inconvenience I was, I still forced his friend to take a second photo, in case the first didn't turn out that well.

Koscielny and... Mertesacker? HAHA.

And, much as it will damage my Chelsea Girl credentials to concede it, Mertesacker is much more handsome up close and in photos than he is during games when he's being oafish and getting sent off against us because he can't deal with Costa.

One last thing: when I bothered his friend to take another photo, Mertesacker said something to the friend in German and he looked at my breasts. Given that I'm not quite dressed like a nun and the revealingness of the dress (I bought it because I thought it had an element of Marilyn Monroe in The Seven Year Itch about it), we'll allow Mertesacker this one.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: Yamal Alsham (Imperial Wharf)

Beautifully decorated on the inside but a little out of the way, Yamal Alsham is a Lebanese place that specialises in mezze dishes. I visited using a Wowcher deal that I had bought for £29, which claimed to be worth up to £85 worth of food. Having. A. Laugh. Nothing against the food we ate, which filled our appetites and tasted good, but in no way would that ever be worth eighty quid. What we ate was worth £29, and not a penny more; the so-called “deal” off Wowcher promptly put the “sham” in “Alsham”.

Discluding the fact that any “deals” you buy off Wowcher, Groupon or LivingSocial isn’t a deal at all but just you forking out the price of the meal, then, and Yamal Alsham is still somewhere I’d recommend. The food, on the whole, was good (the spicy potatoes were my favourites, it’s my most enjoyed thing about Lebanese cuisine, and the houmous was some of the best I've had), although not all of it was brilliantly presented – the curdled cheese just looked like cheese gone off. The wine that came with the meal smelt, and tasted like Sainsbury’s £6 wine, and was promptly left untouched. It was very annoying to be short-changed in the manner that we were, and had we not bumped into former premier league footballer Pavel Pogrebnyak, sat on the table next to us, I would be much more severe in my grading of this place. As such, I’m trying to be nice. If it’s good enough for a footballer, it should be good enough for me.



Grade: B


(There’s actually a Lebanese café just outside my work, where I often get my spicy potato wraps. On the balance of things, I still prefer that place.)