Outfit of the Day: Blue is the Geezerist Colour.

My OOTD this Wednesday, when celebrating David Luiz re-signing for Chelsea! Apropos that I was wearing blue 💙

Top: Hollister

Skirt: Miss Selfridge (also worn in this OOTD)

Glasses: Red or Dead

Chelsea players captaining their country on international duty this weekend.

Frank Lampard, Moldova vs England (in the second half when Gerrard was subbed off)

Petr Cech, Denmark vs Czech Republic.

David Luiz, Brazil vs South Africa.

Branislav Ivanovic, Scotland vs Serbia.

Fernando Torres, Spain vs Saudi Arabia.

Half the year has gone.

Personal highlight of it? Why, that's easy:

The Chelsea Redemption.

On Saturday night, in Bavaria, Chelsea Football Club finally got their hands on the thing that has eluded them for so long: the Champions League trophy. Years of heartbreak, disappointment, last-minute goals and tears were purged with the most cathartic of penalty kicks from Didier Drogba. All those moments of hurt were forgotten as Chelsea players and fans celebrated this moment, this fantastic, unforgettable moment, as they were crowned European Champions of 2012.





Chelsea had very much been the underdogs going into this final, and after a few minutes played, it wasn’t hard to see why. The final this year was held in Munich and Bayern Munich looked very much like the home side, Chelsea, the anxious guests at a party they knew they felt they may not be welcome to. The two sides both lined up in what looked like 4-2-3-1 formations, but whereas Robben and Ribery created havoc for Chelsea all night down the wings, the West London club had the rather less glamorous pairing of Kalou down the right and Ryan Bertrand down the left. The 22-year-old youngster was a surprise name on the teamsheet on Saturday, having never even played in a CL game for Chelsea before. If stagefright got to the young lad, he certainly didn’t show it, and he and his mentor Cole did a commendable job of trying to stifle the siege of goal attempts that came their way.

Despite Bayern’s dominance throughout the game, Chelsea never lost their focus and Frank Lampard and John Obi Mikel were faultless in their holding midfield roles. The latter lost all confidence under Andre Villas-Boas, when, following an error from the Nigerian leading to Liverpool scoring a goal at Stamford Bridge in November, AVB then froze him out. Roberto di Matteo, however, does not operate in such a draconian way as the Portuguese did (which might explain why he’s a Champions League winner and AVB’s at home eating a Pot Noodle and counting his payoff, js), and he injected confidence and belief back into Mikel. As such, the midfielder paid back his trusting gaffer richly with a fabulously controlled and shrewd performance on Saturday. That our possession statistics finished 45% to us when it felt like it’d been a lot less owed a lot to Mikel’s possession.

Despite doing the best they could to neuter the influx of Bayern attack, however, we all felt a goal from the German side was inevitable. And that it was, on the 83rd minute Muller headed the ball into the night from a great cross from Kroos. It seemed like the end, and marred an otherwise faultless performance from Luiz (who was ball-watching at the time of the goal), Cole (who got drawn towards the ball), and Cech (who could possibly reacted better.) That was it then, it seemed. Had Bayern Munich seen through the 1-0 lead and lifted the Champions League trophy, who could really begrudge them it? They’d played the better football all night.

But Chelsea were not having any of it. Whilst fans across the world fought back tears as we were staring in the face of another grim Champions League disappointment, Roberto di Matteo took off Kalou for Torres. The Ivorian has seen a renaissance under RDM, being yet another one of the player who was unfairly frozen out during AVB’s reign of terror (Kalou conceded one late penalty against Valencia in the group stages and as punishment for his mistake didn’t see a start for weeks. This ~flawless tactic used by Andre Village-Idiot was shown up beautifully when di Matteo put trust in the young Ivorian to play against Benfica, and he scored the winner that night. Just noticin’), but the Champions League final wasn’t one of his better games, and he was rightfully subbed for Torres.

And it was Torres who made a nuisance of himself near the corner flag, forcing a challenge from Contento to win Chelsea a corner as the clock ticked down. His compatriot Juan Mata took the corner, who had up until then had a relatively quiet game; Mata excels in matches where Chelsea play football, but when we churn out our brand of catenaccio as we did on Saturday night and also in the two legs vs Barca, his talents are left wanting. Frank Lampard and Gary Cahill did a jolly job of running around in the Bayern penalty area to confuse their defenders as to who to mark, leaving Drogba to jump up and head the most important goal of his life into the back of the net. It was a thumping goal, as good a header as you’ll ever see and it meant that, three minutes from time, having been comfortably on the backfoot for the entirety of the game, somehow, Chelsea were going to drag this into extra time. We were still in it! In fact, on the 94th minute when Mata was fouled and Chelsea were awarded an inviting free kick, some wondered if Drogba would win it then. As such, he blazed his shot over.



But the drama was far from over. In the third minute of extra time, Ribery found himself shimming into the penalty area. Chelsea have always been weaker defending down the right, as exhibited by Boswinga making a few suicidal moves during the game that relied on the fingertips of Cech to rescue. This was exemplified again, when Drogba, attempting to make an ill-advised tackle on Ribery much like he had done against Fabregas at Camp Nou, found himself clipping the Frenchman’s heels and conceding a penalty.
Just like Drogba’s foul on Fabregas at Camp Nou, he got away with it. Former Chelseabung Arjen Robben stepped up to take the penalty. The Dutchman had once missed for Chelsea in a semi final second leg penalty shoot-out at Liverpool, which led to the London club from getting dumped out of the CL in 2007, but overall, he is a consistent penalty taker, having scored one against Real Madrid in the previous round for Bayern. But luck was on Chelsea’s side. Luck and – let’s face it – some cheeky gamesmanship from John Obi Mikel, who found himself sledging Robben in the most Joe Hartesque way, consistently telling the Dutchman Cech would save his shot. And that Cech did. Chelsea fans breathed a huge sigh of relief, thanking their luck stars whilst at the same time getting increasingly agitated. So far in this competition we’d shown that we’ve probably got more lives than Super Mario. But even Super Mario dies eventually.

So then it was time for penalty shoot-outs. David Luiz, who had been in pain since about the 20th minute, stayed on the pitch. Paulo Ferreira was supposed to come on for Mata but once the cold realisation of penalties occurred, RDM chose to keep the diminutive Spaniard on the pitch. Chelsea lost the coin toss which meant that, as if playing a German team on their home soil on penalties wasn’t daunting enough, we now had to contend with taking said penalties in front of their fans. Bayern Munich had never lost a penalty shoot-out in Europe, we were told, and Chelsea had never won one.

And so the shoot-out began. Philipp Lahm, who missed one against Real Madrid in the semi finals, exhibited guts to take the first one, and he scored, though Cech got very close to it. Mata went first for Chelsea. The fear was etched across the little guy’s face and when he missed, it didn’t come as a huge surprise. Chelsea fans accepted defeat. It was 1-0 on penalty shoot-outs against a German side. We’d ridden our luck a long way to get where we were. Time to call it a day.

But if that was the script, the Chelsea players sure as hell weren’t adhering to it, for, after Mario Gomez scored a solid penalty, David Luiz stepped up to take Chelsea’s second. Now, I don’t think I’m alone here when I say I physically grimaced when I saw the Brazillian do his insanely long run-up to the penalty. I won’t lie, I thought he was going to blast it over. But Luiz proved me and all his detractors wrong by slamming it emphatically into the net with such force that you half expected the goal frame to fall down.

Manuel Neuer, who had already gotten a confidence boost by keeping Mata’s out, then cemented his hero status for Bayern fans by taking a cool penalty which squirmed into the net under Cech’s body. Frank Lampard had initially been down to take Chelsea’s fifth penalty, but as we were trailing 3-1 at that point and another miss would have made the deficit insurmountable to come back from, chose to go third. Neuer’s decision to go to the right was a solid one as that is the majority of where Lampard hits his penalties. However, had he paid closer attention, he might have noticed that Chelsea’s hunchbacked hero also has another penalty-taking pattern; when the penalty is of high pressure, more often than not, Lamps will smash it down the middle. This is what he did against van der Saar last season and against Hart this season. And that was what he did on Saturday night to make it 3-2.

Then stepped up Ivica Olic. English football fans might still have nightmares of the Croatian, as he scored one of the three goals at Wembley the night that we failed to qualify for Euro 2008. But there was definitely a trace of fear on his face as he took his penalty, and Cech read both his expression and his body language perfectly, in doing so making a fantastic one-handed save to keep it out. Then it was Ashley Cole for Chelsea. The Englishman missed last season in a penalty shoot-out against Everton to allow the Merseyside team to advance at their expense, but aside from that, he scores great penalties. That people all over the world were hating on him and willing him on to miss was a huge factor in why he scored, in my opinion. 3-3.

And then Bastian Schweinsteiger, the bloke who scored the decisive penalty against Real Madrid in the semi-final, stepped up to take Bayern Munich’s last penalty. “Well he’s German, that’s a forgone conclusion,” I said to my brother. And, as with my various bouts of duff decision-making in life, with boys and predicting football scores in the past, Bungy was wrong again. :p Perhaps it was his slightly staggered run that cost him, but Schweinsteiger’s technique in taking his penalty wasn’t bad at all. Cech may have gotten a fingertip to it to tip it onto the post. But it meant that, incredibly, despite missing our first penalty, the score was tied at 3-3 and we still had a guy to take the penalty.



And it couldn’t be more apt that the man to take the decisive penalty for Chelsea should be Didier Drogba. Just before taking his penalty, he gave Neuer the eyes. The German went the wrong way, and, despite his penalty lacking the power of Luiz, Lampard and Cole’s, having sent Neuer the wrong way, the ball hit the net, meaning Chelsea won the penalty shoot-out and the Champions League final.

Years of hurt and heartbreak were instantly erased with that penalty kick, that beautiful, cathartic penalty kick. Players fell to the ground, redemptive tears streaming down their faces as the fantastic realisation that they’d done it, they’d really done it! All that money, all those big names, all those years of going tantalisingly close without reaching the final outcome… and now it had.

Glee, euphoria, delight, redemption, atonement… not enough words to describe how ecstatic I was then, how ecstatic I was four hours after, how ecstatic I was the next day, how ecstatic I am now and how ecstatic I will always be when I think about Saturday 19th May, at the Allianz Arena.

In a night that needed heroes, Chelsea had them all over the pitch. Cech, for his reaction saves throughout as a well as his penalty heroics, is the first that comes to mind. The big Czech Republic international had done his homework and then some; the goalkeeper went the right way for all six of the penalties he was faced with, keeping three of them out. Then there’s Drogba, who, in the aftermath, announced his retirement from Chelsea. The Ivorian has given the West London club eight years of his life, and the rollercoaster ride has had highs, lows, and never been anything less than exhilarating throughout. That it should be him to score the equaliser on Saturday as well as the winning penalty kick (whilst in between casually conceding a penalty purely so that the haters could have some false hope that Chelsea would lose) epitomizes everything good that he has done for this club, and for that, every Chelsea fan will forever be in his debt.

Then there was Ashley Cole, who once again cemented his position as the best left-back in the world. Facing a plethora of Bayern attacks, the defender wowed fans with a stream of blocks and goal line clearances. It is worth re-iterating that, at 3-1 down in Napoli when the tie was seemingly out of our hands, Cole made one of his quintessential goalliine clearances to prevent the score from being 4-1, a deficit that we surely would not have recovered from. The man is a hero. In the absence of John Terry, David Luiz and Gary Cahill were thrown into the deep end, a feat no less daunting when you consider that both of them had been out of a spell with injury. But both were terrific; Luiz has been criticized over the course of the season for lacking defensive discipline but he was nothing but totally focused on Saturday, and Gary Cahill, who must be pinching himself at his reversal of fortune from going battling relegation with Bolton to playing in a CL winning side, threw his body on the line in a fearless way that would make John Terry proud.

And of course plaudits have to go to Roberto di Matteo, who picked Chelsea up from pandamonium when AVB was initially sacked and instilled our team with confidence and belief. No one was ever saying that Lampard had to play every game, but to be sat ignored on every big game merits an explanation at the very least. When RDM didn't play the big names, he still managed to keep them sweet by explaining his reasoning to them, rather than acting like he was above it. The fact that he as status as a Chelsea legend as a player naturally boosts his cause, but this wasn't something RDM rode on; he has shone tactical shrewdness beyond his years (the double marking of Cole and Ramires on Alves in the first leg against Barcelona comes to mind, as well as the super-defensive 6-3-0 formation he employed in the second leg when Terry got sent off that saw us through to the final). Abramovich would be a fool not to reward the one man who has given him what he wants - the big eared trophy - a contract.

And lastly, but by no means least, there was the one, the only, Frank Lampard. Chelsea’s captain for the night played in a more conservative role of holding midfielder, which has been the norm under di Matteo. Such is the manager’s guile that he immediately recognised that whilst Lampard’s aging legs may no longer accommodate the surging box-to-box midfielder role the Englishman is so accustomed to, that by no means there is no place left for him at Chelsea. And so Lampard took on this role and understood it impeccably. On Saturday he gave a performance of huge footballing intelligence and also exhibited bravery to take the initiative to be the third penalty taker (rather than fifth) when Mata missed his. He is a footballer of tremendous fearlessness and pluck, and has devoted no little part of his life in pursuit of this, the Holy Grail of football.

And so it happened, that Chelsea Football Club, incepted in 1905, won the Champions League on the 19th of the 05th. It was a performance of guts, spirit and determination. Chelsea proved to be trolls of the Universe by capping off a season when they have frequently been underwhelming by winning the FA Cup and the one they really wanted, the Champions League. Chelsea found their Holy Grail, forever wrote themselves into European football folklore and saw their happy ending. Abramovich’s billions of Roubles went some considerable way to attaining this goal, but the joy, the sheer, unadulterated joy of getting our hands on the thing that we wanted more than anything else, well. The ensuing euphoria and memories that will forever live on in our hearts are something that even a Russian Oligarch can’t buy

We ain't got no his-to-ree.

Last night, against all the odds, Chelsea overcame their 3-1 first leg deficit against Napoli to win 4-1 at Stamford Bridge, 5-4 on aggregate, to go through to the quarter finals of the Champions League. They gave a tremendous performance, easily one of their finest of what has been an otherwise highly disappointing season. Roberto di Matteo, the interim manager, picked the side that many feel AVB, his hapless predecessor should have chosen (aside from John Terry, who was injured three weeks ago). He stuck with the old guard of Lampard, Terry, Drogba, Cole. These men, and all the other Chelsea players, repaid him in kind with a team effort that was nothing short of Olympian.

The game began cagily for Chelsea; Napoli’s attacks were plentiful and incisive. The Italian side, very much the flavour of the month due to their ultra-attacking 3-4-3 formation, looked to cause Chelsea problems from every angle and Cech made several good saves when the match was hanging at 0-0. Indeed, so against the run of the play was Drogba’s goal at 28th minute that it felt like a total surprise.

The goal, a bullet header from Drogba following a smart cross from Ramires, knocked the wind out of Napoli’s then full-power sails and Chelsea looked galvanized. Before half-time Sturridge could have made it 2-0 on the night if not for some errant finishing.

Napoli, for all their fluid play, had one notable Achilles heel, and that was that when the ball was crossed into their area. This was exemplified two minutes into the second half, when Frank Lampard’s – so notably absent from the starting XI that lost 3-1 in Naples – crossed and John Terry, back from injury, got his head on the end of it. Two headers for Chelsea, two goals on the night, the tie stood at 3-3, with the West Londoners going through on the away goals rule.

But such was Napoli’s potency that nobody doubted they would score at least one on the night. And indeed, eight minutes after Terry put Chelsea ahead in the tie for the first time since Juan Mata’s goal in Naples had given Chelsea some short-lived joy, it was the Englishman’s own haphazard clearance that found Inler. Inler let the ball bounce then positioned his foot perfectly to strike it accurately, and hard, to go through Lampard’s legs and into the back of the Chelsea net. 2-1 on the night, with Napoli 4-3 ahead on aggregate.

With legs getting tired and Chelsea running out of time – if they scored it would simply bring the game to extra time – Di Matteo took of Sturridge, who had ran his legs off in the game and bought on Chelsea’s £50million Fernando Torres. Torres’ pricetag will not be lost on anyone, least of all him, and the fact that he has gone 24 hours without scoring can not be good for his confidence either, but the Spaniard gave a terrific account of himself – complete with Nike headband – when he came on, chasing lost causes and displaying terrific ball retention.

Then on 75 minutes, when Branislav Ivanovic – playing so attacking that he had been perennially in the Napoli penalty area throughout – met a corner with his head, Napoli’s Dossena was judged to have handled it. Frank Lampard stood up to take the penalty, one of the most pressured ones of his life, and with the expressionless precision of a cinematic Clint Eastwood hitman smashed it down the middle. The Napoli goalkeeper got quite close to it, but such was the power of the drive that it hit the back of the net. 3-1 on the night to Chelsea, 4-4 on aggregate, with extra time in place.

With the painful memories of Moscow, penalties were the last thing Chelsea wanted. After all, Juan Mata had just recently had one saved in the FA Cup against Birmingham (he had also missed in the home game too, up against the same goalkeeper). The ITV commentators informed us that this season, Chelsea had been awarded 9 penalties, and only 4 of them had been scored. It didn’t look good. So Chelsea wanted to win the game in extra-time.

And on the stoke of half time in ET, they were blessed when Branislav Ivanovic was left unmarked in the Napoli penalty area. A cross from Drogba found his right foot and he struck it with a striker’s finish to find the back of the net. Chelsea and Stamford Bridge celebrated riotously and it was just reward for a team who had really given their all that evening.

But Chelsea knew that they could not rest on their laurels in the final 15 minutes, because should Napoli get just one goal, they would be through on the away goals rule. As such, it was all hands to the pump to run down the clock and prevent Napoli from obtaining possession. Didier Drogba revisited his younger, petulant self and gave some fabulous play-acting performances that both riled the opposition and entertained Chelsea fans. Crucially, his diving worked, as more times than not the referee fell for it and it helped use up precious seconds.

The Ivorian could have dusted the game off in the last minute of extra time, when Malouda gave him a peach of a cross, but the 34-year-old Ivorian, who had played all 120 minutes of this thriller, miscued his shot.

No matter. Chelsea saw the game through and when the referee blew his whistle for the end of the game, the celebrations at Stamford Bridge were a picture. Roberto di Matteo ran onto the pitch and embraced and each and everyone of his players, who had played like Spartans tonight. Chelsea knew that they would have to be nothing short of Herculean last night to overcome a two-goal deficit against a spirited Napoli side, and indeed, plaudits have to go to Napoli, who despite losing 4-1, still played marvellously.

Individually, I couldn’t be more proud of the Chelsea players. John Terry truly shone, he led from the back, scored a crucial goal and threw his body on the line to prevent every single Napoli attack. Frank Lampard, so criticised for his role in AVB’s departure from Chelsea, was deployed as a defensive midfielder in di Matteo’s 4-2-3-1 formation and even though it was a role he is not all that accustomed to, played wonderfully, making some tackles that Makelele, the quintessential Chelsea defensive midfielder, would have been proud of. Lampard also showed true grit to take the penalty; he has missed from the spot twice this season for Chelsea, but was unfazed by the past and merely looked to the future as he struck the ball. Didier Drogba, almost anonymous up until he scored, then became the powerhouse Drogba that opposition sides have grown to fear. David Luiz, who’s performance in the first leg was riddled with defensive errors, seemed to have settled in much better with John Terry alongside him, and he, too, made some fabulous interceptions. Even more impressive is that in the dying moments of the game, fatigue clearly got the better of him, but true to the Chelsea cause, he soldiered on. Ashley Cole, Ramires, Torres, Essien, too, were all immense. It truly was a team effort and the smile as wide as the sun on Roberto di Matteo’s face told as much.

Chelsea have had a very turbulent season. Whether or not they’ll even finish in the top four remains to be seen, but considering we have tricky fixtures against City, Spurs, Arsenal and Liverpool to come, I’m not holding my breath. Furthermore, should Chelsea draw Real Madrid, Munich, Barcelona or AC Milan in the CL, they are likely to exit the CL in the quarter finals. But they deserved their moment last night; the Chels showed everything that was good about the team, in a fantastic game that will surely go down in European history. Chelsea are now the only English team left in the Champions League, and after a performance as special as that, the squad can dare to dream.

Chelsea Daggers in the Back.

Chelsea’s 3-1 loss in Naples on Tuesday was damaging. It was damaging to the team’s aspirations of ever winning the Champions League, as they now have a figurative mountain to climb in overcoming that deficit in the return fixture in London with a misfiring attack and a toothless defence. It was also damaging to the 34-year-old’s reputation. He had taken several gambles in his team selection, and from the result and the performance, it was an unqualified failure. Chelsea, languishing in fifth, looking at another Champions League exit and really struggling to gain any kind of form, are in dire straits. The worrying thing is, these are just the on-field problems. Off it, AVB faces player mutiny from the most political dressing room in the premier league, increasing pressure to play the ineffective Fernando Torres and continual speculation at his future, decided by the fickle oil baron Roman Abramovich. Damage, damage, everywhere.

Eyebrows were raised when the teamsheet was released for the Napoli game. John Terry, the Chelsea captain, was ruled out through injury, thus inducing AVB to play the less-than-ideal centreback pairing of Gary Cahill and David Luiz, both of whom proceeded to give a performance over the 90 minutes that would have made Laurel and Hardy proud. Far more baffling, however, was that Ashley Cole, Frank Lampard and Michael Essien were all benched. The three that took their places in the starting XI- Bosingwa, Ramires and Meireles, all had shockers. Bosingwa came off after 10 minutes with an injury, thus inducing Villas-Boas to use up a precious substitution early. The Sky pundit Jamie Redknapp raged that it was “managerial suicide”, and judging from the shambolic performance that ensued, in which Chelsea were arguably fortunate to escape from just 3-1 down, he wasn’t wrong.

As Graeme Sounness said, Ashley Cole at 90% fitness was better than Bosingwa 100%. The England left-back, as with his defensive colleagues, has not had the best season at Chelsea (the way he lost Theo Walcott in the 3-5 humiliation against Arsenal must will give him nightmares) but he still remains one of the finest in the world in his position, and when brilliant, has given performances for Chelsea that epitomize full-back play at its finest (Spurs away, for example). AVB’s decision not to start him and play Bosingwa - a right-back who can barely play in his natural role – out of position because the manager and Cole had an argument, just smacks of cutting one’s nose off to spite their face. Furthermore, not playing Michael Essien, a man who knows the role of defensive midfield inside out, in favour of Raul Meireles, whose error led to Chelsea conceding the equaliser, was another of AVB’s risky gambles that backfired spectacularly. And finally, the benching of Frank Lampard. To fans, Frank is Chelsea royalty and were we presented with an ultimatum between the 33-year-old midfielder and the 34-year-old gaffer, the Englishman would come out top every time. The power struggle between the manager and the man only 8 months his junior has been well documented by fans and the Media alike this season and whilst fans accept that Lampard no longer has the God-given right to demand starts at every single Chelsea game, he is still far better than any of the alternatives and should definitely have started for such a crucial match on Tuesday.

All that being said, some sympathy has to be given to Andre Villas-Boas. Managing Chelsea, for all its glitterati and glamour, is an unenviable task. John Terry, Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole and Didier Drogba have egos to match their salaries, and even the usually soft-spoken, diplomatic goalkeeper Petr Cech has a high enough sense of self-worth that he would not be averse to speaking out against the manager. It also is these five players, however, who have been dominant players in Chelsea’s success of the last few years. In the 2009-2010 season when they won the double for the first time in the club’s history, it was Lampard’s goals, Cole’s marauding fullback play, Terry’s defensive blocks, Drogba’s invention and Cech’s crucial saves that won it. Love themselves these men definitely do, but not for no reason.

The revelation that several Chelsea players were still in contact with Jose Mourinho, the manager who’s shadow every man following him has been living in, couldn’t have helped things. AVB must have been hurt to think of Frank Lampard or Ashley Cole sending their former boss a snide text every time AVB got it wrong (and there have been plenty of those this season). Furthermore, Frank whining to cousin Jamie, only to have Redknapp relay everything the Englishman says on TV, has got to be the most counter-productive way to try and get starts. As the age-old phrase goes, it takes two to tango, and the Chelsea camp is most definitely divided into a group of those who are Team Andre Villas-Boas, and Team, well, Andre is a Village Idiot.

But the fact of the matter is, those who are on Team AVB are also those getting starts, and whether or not said starts are deserved are bloody debatable. David Luiz, a man who has big hair, a big heart and a big sense of humour, also possesses big clown feet and cannot defend to save his life. Chelsea fans enjoy his warmth and happy smile, but when we see his name on a teamsheet, we fret. He is AVB’s biggest loyalist and AVB has paid Luiz’s loyalty in kind with starts throughout the season. In return, David Luiz has given performances riddled with defensive errors; on Tuesday it was a miskick that led Napoli to score their third – and most damaging – goal. Similarly, Raul Meireles has been given a string of second-rate performances in a Chelsea shirt this season, and Bosingwa at right back has gifted the opposition goals like it's going out of fashion. AVB has persevered with the Lusophone-speaking contingent of Chelsea this season, when their performances have not merited such perseverance, and that riles.

It is difficult to say where one can go from here. AVB has a vision for Chelsea’s future – the word “project” has rolled off his tongue continually this season – but I have a few words to describe how Chelsea is right now, none of them project, all of them four-lettered. The club is descending into a downhill spiral of internal politics and backhanded comments, with more drama than a month’s worth of Eastenders. I am not saying that Roman should sack AVB, because, frankly Chelsea have gone through more than enough managerial transitions to last a lifetime. Plus, Chelsea’s players need to take accountability for their atrocious recent performances and start playing for the team. But a big share of the blame does lie with Andre Villas-Boas, and he needs to get a clue, and fast, because the clock is ticking, and as Carlo Ancelotti, Luiz Felipe Scolari and Avram Grant can attest to, patience is not something the Russian has in abundance. For the majority of Chelsea fans, however, we have long given up on AVB. He would have to perform miracles to turn this sorry mess around now.