Restaurant review: CACCIARI'S (South Kensington)

In a cosy cafe-alike in Old Brompton road sits Cacciari's, a cosy and utterly likeable Italian restaurant. The waitress serving us was lovely; and such was their hospitality that we were gifted a free Bellini by the end of the night; always a welcome treat. I sampled almost half the cocktail menu, having the mojito, the Bloody Mary, the margherita and the Bellini, and each cocktail was loving prepared and tasted great, in particular the margherita, which was a lot more peppery than how I'm used to, but it was all the better for it.

Food-wise, I was almost knocked out of my seat with how reasonable the prices were, not least as we were in Kensington, one of the most wealthiest parts of London (and trust me, plenty of other restaurants in Chelsea & Ken are more than happy to ride on that SW-postcode and use it as an excuse to churn out crap food). 

For starters, much like at Theo Randall, I had mozerella and tomato, but unlike at Theo Randall (£12 for a tiny plate meant that it was essentially charging its customers £6 a bite), the £9 price tag at Cacciari's was justified, a generous-helping was given of the cheese and tomato, with cute little pans holding it all together. So far, so excellent.

For the main course, I had Lasagna alla Bolognese. Lasagne's always a tricky one in restaurants because it can turn out either too starchy, or not full enough. In Cacciari's, it was the perfect balance between the two, and the parmesan cheese given to us in a little pot was a more-than-perfect supplement to it. The fusion of meat, cheese and all the other flavours in my lasagne rendered it absolutely delicious, and, with a cold Peroni beer to drink with it, it was a near-on flawless meal. 

Having been on holiday in Italy last year, the meal I had in Cacciari's last Friday was genuinely the closest thing I've tasted to proper Italian cooking since then.

There was a little beer garden behind the restaurant as well as chairs in front of it, meaning that customers get their choice of places to sit to suit their mood. Whilst lacking the grandeur that many of the other South Kensington restaurants parade about, Cacciari's humble surroundings worked to its advantage; it was a thoroughly unpretentious, value-for-money place to eat in.

The greatest thing about Cacciari's is that it fully goes by the merit of its food and drink, rather than any frilly ornaments. If you remember Theo Randall, which went out of its way to show off how great it was even though the food was less-than-brilliant, Cacciari's is a delightful counterpart; the chairs and glasses in the restaurant are all from Ikea. The setting is cheap and cheerful, and as such, allows the restaurant to focus its attention on the thing that actually matters in a restaurant - the quality of the food. 

Cacciari's is the closest thing you're going to get to finding a bargain in Kensington; SW7 heaven.

Grade: A

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here.

Restaurant Review: THEO RANDALL (Mayfair)

In London’s glittering Mayfair sits Theo Randall, a much-lauded Italian restaurant with big-name dishes and even bigger price tags. I had the (dubious) honour of getting to eat there for my friend’s birthday, and, as it was her birthday, it meant someone else was picking up the tab for our meal. So, whilst the prices were extortionate, the best thing that can be said for that place is that at least not a single penny of their bank-breaking bill fell on my back. Ha.

The whole time I was at Theo Randall, I just thought of the Friends episode in which Monica and Phoebe fall out over Phoebe singing her (admittedly bad) songs outside Monica's pretentious, overpriced restaurant. Phoebe makes one jibe about the portions being so tiny that one would need a monocle just to be able to see them, and this fully applies to the food at Theo Randall. For the starter, I ordered mozerella and tomatos, expecting a healthy-sized dish to match the meaty £12 price tag. This was what the reality was:

I mean, I know it's the recession and that, but surely we can do a little bit better than that?! My friend had it worse; she ordered a £15 starter, for which she got a lemon, a smidgeon of mustard and some weird green stuff:

Not impressed at all.

As for the food itself, it tasted fine, some dishes had far too much flavour added to it, others were too dry and bitter. For my main, I had spaghetti with lobster. The lobster was cooked to perfection but the spaghetti was woeful: bland, tasteless and even more stale than a week old Pot Noodle. All that for £34 ladies and gentleman! What a bargain!

The best part of the meal was far and away the dessert, for which I had white peach sorbet ice cream. It was delicious, the perfect line between rich and sweet. Once again, however, the £9 price tag was ridiculous; you can get a much more delicious plate of icecream for cheaper in the actual Haagen Dasz restaurant in Leicester Square.

Thus, for the sake of you and the mortgage that you'll have to take out just to fund a meal here, I say to you: of all the over-priced, overrated restaurants in London's west end, NEVER walk into this one. It may be the last thing you do, financially.

Grade: F

Film review: HORRIBLE BOSSES (Seth Gordon, 2011)

Childhood friends Nick, Dale and Kurt, once known as the “three musketeers” are still friends into their adulthood, and meet up on a daily basis for a drink and meal at their local bar. Trouble is, whilst their friendship thrives, their work lives leave a lot to be desired. 

Nick (Arrested Development’s Jason Bateman) works in a corporate environment, with a psychotic boss Dave Harken (played by Kevin Spacey) whom gets arsey if he is so much at 2 minutes late – after 6am. In one scene, Harken entraps him into necking scotch – at 8 in the morning. Nick despises his boss, but puts up with his bullying, knowing – or thinking – that if he takes the shit for a while longer, he will receive the promotion to VP that he has so hardly worked for. That hope, we later find out, turns out to be completely misguided.

Restaurant review: BENIHANA (Piccadilly Circus)

Just off Piccadilly Circus Tube station is Benihana, a trendy Japanese restaurant. Currently undergoing renovations in certain parts of the venue, the drinks/waiting area was mainly cordoned off and in the interim, the waiting area consisted of two little round tables (of which I shared with another lady who was waiting). 

But the actual restaurant itself was a unusual delight. The way it was arranged was that everyone was sat with strangers around a metal grill, and the meal was cooked directly in front of you, but it wasn’t just basic turning the food over; there was a real visual firework to go with the preparation of the food – the chef sprayed some pepper over the vegetables and with a flourish, casually tossed the pepper shaker upwards and caught it in his big chef’s hat. Elsewhere, other chefs threw their vinegar or salt shakers into the air, span on the spot and caught it. For veterans of Japanese restaurants, food was thrown into their mouths for them eat. Fun was very much on the menu here.

I had the set menu, which was £23 and had 8 courses – all quite small, so that you got a taste of everything. Some of the courses were misses (a pot of rice with what seemed like half a bottle of soya sauce tipped on was far too salty to fully consume), but the meat (a choice of two from chicken, salmon, seabass, steak) was cooked to your preference, the sushi was fantastic, and the dessert, a tiny square of chocolate, was exactly what was needed to sweeten up the overall quite a savoury meal. 

Drinks were overpriced, even by London’s standards - £8.50 for a strawberry daiquiri that tasted suspiciously devoid of any alcohol whatsoever, but artfully designed in a way that the presentations of the cocktail was so lovely that you almost didn’t realise you were being conned. However, kudos has to go to the chefs for making mojitos, a drink I’m not usually too fond of – quite delicious with the aid of some lychees.

Overall, as far as overpriced restaurants in the city centre go, Benihana definitely sits up there, with more than enough charm to carry off its inflated menu prices. The entertaining “show” put on by the waiters make it a good venue to pick when out with friends, or children, who will surely love it.

Grade: B+/A-

Film review: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 (David Yates, 2011)

A wise English proverb once dictated that all good things must come to an end. Ten years on from the release of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, the eighth and final Harry Potter film is released. 

The producers at Warner Brothers made the money-savvy choice of splitting Deathly Hallows into two films, which led to a sort of Kill Bill effect – one film was all highs, the other all lows. However, they did it the right way round, with the first instalment of Deathly Hallows boring people to near-death. This meant that the rollercoaster of visual pyrotechnics, character relationships and the final countdown between Harry and Voldemort was saved for the second film. And what a finale it is.

It would be optimistic to say that the three leads have particularly bettered over the ten years. Daniel Radcliffe still strikes me as awful impassive, spending much of the film looking baffled or bemused. When he is required to give a performance of emotional gravitas, he borders on overacting. 

However, if he is on the cusp of ham, Emma Watson is a fully-fledged bacon, once again letting her eyebrows do the acting, acting. 

Favourite Ron & Hermione moments.

By the way, this is my hand touching Grint's from the premiere last Thursday in Leicester Square:

10. Can You Keep a Secret?

Hermione’s super-human knowledge and diligence is well-documented throughout the seven books and indeed, her intelligence has come to Harry’s aid on countless occasions. But she possesses so much more than simply book smarts; she is sensitive and a very good reader of people – Ginny’s schoolgirl crush on Harry is apparent to all in Chamber of Secrets, but she being the 11-year-old, impressionable lil’ sis of his best friend, he sensibly pretends not to notice, leaving the crush to evaporate. In Half-Blood Prince, however, it is he who develops feelings for her, and the fact that she has them, quite literally, lined up, and isn’t afraid to face her brother Ron about it when he scolds her – only exacerbates his feelings for her. At the end of the book, after he has gotten her, he has to let go, and it is revealed that it was Hermione to advise Ginny to go with some other boys, not particularly with the aim of forgetting about Harry entirely or to make him jealous, but because she deserved to experience teenage love in her own right. Deep down though, Hermione knew that Ginny only had eyes for Harry and the her flings – however troubling to Harry (and Ron) – would do her no harm. Whilst this is not explicitly a Hermione/Ron moment, simply the fact that Hermione knew how much her crush & best friend’s younger sister fancied her other famous best friend but diplomatically chose not to tell either shows that whilst she is smart like the best of them, Hermione’s best quality is not her brain, but her heart.

09. Well Jell
In Half-Blood Prince, Harry and Hermione both turn the head of Potions Master Professor Slughorn, who invites them to come to his exclusive Slug Club, of which the other members are either well-connected students with distinguished bloodlines (Blaise Zabini’s mum was a heartbreaker of a witch who frequently married and divorced), or students who Professor Slughorn sees a light in, like Ginny and Hermione. Ron, who reacts with a red-hot temper that would do his hair proud at seeing his sister and two best friends invited but not him, and much of his anger is directed at Hermione, who by now he is growing increasingly confused by his feelings towards. Hermione rarely dabbles in underhand tactics, but Ron becomes so snarky towards her simply for being noticed for her excellence that she allows the horny-but-hot Cormac McLuggen to bring her as his date for the Christmas Slug Club party, knowing full well how much it will make Ron jealous. The little on-running feud between Ron and Hermione is as amusing as it is entertaining and acts as an accurate portrayal of teenagers and the petty things we do to get the attention of the ones we like.

08. For you, there’ll be no more crying.
In Philosopher’s Stone, the first few times we are introduced to Hermione Granger, it is difficult to warm to her. Bossy, a know-it-all and almost unbearably stuffy, Harry is a little bemused by her. Ron, however, never one to mince his words, voices his displeasure towards Hermione. Naturally, Hermione would overhear, and despite the brave face she has sustained so far, her butter-wouldn’t-melt demeanour comes crumbling down and her hurt locker shows. She runs into a toilet to cry, unaware that a gigantic troll is also there. Harry and Ron come to her rescue and in a brilliant display of teamwork, the three defeat it. With that, the quintessential OT3 of friendship is borne. If I really wanted to overanalyse, we could say that Hermione’s obnoxious behaviour to Harry and Ron had just been her defensive mechanism for speaking to “famous Harry Potter” and his cute ginger friend who she quite liked the look of. But that would probably be overanalysing it; they were only in year seven.

07. “I love you, Hermione”.
Harry and Ron have – as they have a knack of doing – got themselves in trouble, and now have homework assignments on top of that to worry about. Hermione senses their plight and offers to help with their work. Ron, so grateful, utters weakly “I love you, Hermione,” and it is said that Hermione “turns pink”. Ron’s comment was a throwaway one, but Hermione’s embarrassed reaction tells me that it was she who fell for Ron first, but he was too bull-headed and dull to realise.

06. Lust and delirious

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is, in a way, a tennis match of sexual politics between Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. He should be so lucky as to get her – beautiful, smart, loyal girl that she is, but his own insecurity is so crippling that it leads him to mistreat her. His path in getting with sentimental and fairly annoying but well-intentioned Lavender Brown arose from a fight with his younger sister. Unhappy at being berated by Ron for making out with his friends, Ginny cries, in defence, that Ron is simply being a prude because Harry has had experience of snogging (Cho), and “even Hermione kissed Viktor.” This proves to be the catalyst for Ron and Lavender getting together, Lavender herself unaware to the fact that she’s being used as a pawn in the two’s warfare. After Ron suffers a near-death accident, however, and he is recovering, he’s so doped up that he’s unable to get his agenda right and says the name of the girl who he’s really thinking about: Hermione.

05. Oh, Krums.
Harry and Ron leave it a bit late in finding dates for the Yule Ball, meaning that the girls they go with – attractive twins Parvati and Padma Patel are perfectly fine, but not the ones they wished to have gone with. Harry’s choice had been asked sooner – Cho Chang, and Ron’s preferred date is more obscure. When it became hard to find someone he thought Hermione would be available as a last-ditch resort, but on seeing her – by far the most beautiful she’s been – at the Yule Ball, in the arms of Viktor Krum, a famous Quidditch player who up until this point he’d been in awe of, brings up all kinds of envy in him. As a result, he pays Padma no attention, loses all the idolatry he’d had thus far for his Quidditch hero, and seeks Hermione out to have a go. She isn’t having any of it, crying, “Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!". Ron splutters his indignations, but judging from Hermione’s tears and Harry’s tactical reticence, he’s only kidding himself.

04. Knight with cruddy armour
Draco Malfoy comes from an affluent family. This is unceremoniously shoved in the Gryffindors’ faces when his father kits the entire Slytherin Quidditch team out with Nimbus 2001. Taking the opportunity to sneer at Harry and Ron, Hermione replies sharply – but accurately that at least Harry earnt his place on the team, rather than buying it like Draco. Malfoy doesn’t like being told by a Muggle, and calls her a terrible word – Mudblood. This infuriates many of the passers by, but only Ron does something about it, pulling out his wand to defend his friend. Unfortunately for him, his wand is crooked and his own hex backfires, but that he would defend his mate’s honour with such fierce loyalty shows the beautiful, unadulterated spirit behind Ron and Hermione relationship.

03. Paying the penalty
Always in the shadow of ~Famous Harry Potter~ and his astounding Quidditch skills, Ron has a chance to shine in the sixth book when Harry, as captain of the Quidditch team, is holding tryouts. Cormac McLuggen probably has more natural talent, and in a Quidditch penalty shoot out, he is flying, saving four of four penalties. As the fifth is taken however, he does a bizarre dance-in-the-sky that results in him letting one in, and Ron getting the role of goalkeeper. As it transpires, it was Hermione who performed the jinx on Cormac to make him under-perform, as retribution for some throwaway comments he’d made about Ron and Ginny. A little action of a good friend, perhaps, but for by-the-book Hermione to play so dirty shows that she truly cared about the person she was doing it for. If only Ron knew.

02. Come together, over me
Albus Dumbledore’s death in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was one of the most arresting, surprising and depressing deaths in literature for me, not least because it seemed to signal an uprising of Voldemort’s clan. At the end of the book, the entire school (bar a few evil-minded Slytherins) is in mourning. Ron and Hermione have set aside all the drama they have incurred in the book (in a fit of rage, Hermione had sent a bunch of canaries after Ron after seeing the two all over each other), and it is fair to say that Ron has entered that tentative transition between lad and full-fledged young man. Many of the inhabitants of Hogwarts cry, including Hermione, who, we are told, weeps into her ginger friend’s shoulder. It is a rare moment of beauty amidst a sea of heartbreak.

01. Kiss Me

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione’s arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet.
Corny, yes. Out of place (it’s in the Battle of Hogwarts), yes. But oh my lord, it was so bloody overdue. Seven years of adventure, of being there of each other, laughter and tears, mindgames and game playing, all culminating in these few, such rewarding lines. As you may have noticed, I'm quite into my films where there's all this strife and tribulation, and it ends with a grandstanding act of redemption, and Ron and Hermione's kiss is redemption for a lot of the casualties incurred in the series.  I don’t care for Emma Watson a jot but I love Rupert Grint and Harry Potter, and thinking over all these precious Ron/Hermione moments has thoroughly piqued my thirst for the final film coming out this Friday!