Showing posts with label Scarlett Johansson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scarlett Johansson. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 09, 2018

Second-guessing the films that the BBFC got the most complaints in 2017

This blog is rated 15 for references to child abuse and strong sex references.


The BBFC drop their Annual Reports around July every year, where they discuss all facets of their guidelines and the film classification process in the UK. I await these reports with the same eagerness I await the Oscars with, and I think it's fun to try and predict which titles cause the BBFC the most complaints every year!

Thursday, April 06, 2017

Bit rich of Scarlett Johansson.

I won one month's access to an app that allows me to read various magazines on my phone from McDonald's Monopoly, which has provided a satisfactory companion for my commutes.

I was browsing one of the magazines when I saw this quote from ScarJo:


Saying we need to support other women sounds very nice in principle but I didn't see her doing as much when she stole a role from an east Asian for Ghost in the ShellGitS underperforming at the US Box Office is apt karma for such brazen whitewashing, if you ask me.

I am so sick of:
a) Hollywood actresses stealing roles from east Asian actresses who struggle with visibility in film enough as it is (ScarJo, Emma Stone, Tilda Swinton), and 

b) white feminists who purport to care about equal rights for women, when all they care about is equal rights for themselves (Jennifer Lawrence, ScarJo, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, ChloĆ« Grace Moretz, Lena Dunham, Amy Schumer, the list is endless). 

These women would trample over women of colour in a heartbeat if it meant progressing their own (already thriving) careers, yet still want the crown of being ~all inclusive~.

Fuck that.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

5 Brief Cinema Reviews.



Men In Black 3
The third instalment of the terrifically fun sci-fi action series, although this time round Tommy Lee Jones does not feature that match, and his younger re-incarnation in the form of Josh Brolin does. Will Smith does the Will Smith thing better than anyone else and he and Brolin have terrific chemistry (better, arguably, than Smith and Lee Jones do), and the plot itself is very well-thought out and entertaining. There was a twist at the end which unexpectedly drew a tear from me, and the villain Boris is played with gusto by Jemaine Clement. Oh and there’s even time for a fabulous cameo by Nicole Scherzinger at the start! Great fun, recommended. B+.

What to Expect when You’re Expecting
The main draw to this pregnancy themed romcom is, obviously, the glittering cast. Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Mr Schue off Glee, Dennis Quaid, Anna Kendrick, as well as Chace Crawford for some serious swoon points and Cheryl Cole in a camero so poor that you almost wish she'd stick to singing - then you remember what she sings like. The inter-weaving plotlines regarding various families trying to have a baby in Atlanta (as well as Diaz and Morrison’s plot strand in California) go quite well, and there are some well-done tonal modulations (Anna Kendrick is radiant, as ever.) However, the subplot with the “dad club” run by Chris Rock is just extremely irritating; we’re supposed to believe those fathers have ~swagger? It doesn’t work. Furthermore, I found myself engaged in the plots with differing degrees (Kendrick/Crawford: a lot, Diaz/Morrison: not at all). It’s a romantic comedy that tries to be serious but doesn’t even get the jokes right. C.

The Dictator
Ahhhh, now this WAS funny!! Bruno was a serious mishap in Sacha Baron Cohen’s attempt to re-reach Borat levels of hilarity, but in The Dictator, he’s found his mojo again. He plays General Aladeen, a despotic and rather crazy and deluded dictator of a fictional country. He goes to New York to tear up a peace treaty, aided by his right hand man Ben Kingsley (who is secretly plotting his death). In his botched torture (the failed torture is carried out by cinema’s original loser, John C Reilly), he escapes and finds salvation in Anna Faris’ organic food shop. As with Borat and Bruno, there is no limits to the people who The Dictator offends. But I guess that’s why I found it so funny. Furthermore, unlike Borat, there is an actual plot, an actual adventure, which makes The Dictator marginally more interesting than its predecessor. Plus you just have to pay the admission price to see Cohen and Ben Kingsley snog. B.

Marvel’s Avengers Assemble
A delightfully entertaining mishmash of superhero characters featuring Robert Downey Jr’s self absorbed Tony Stark (Iron Man), Chris Evans’ earnest Steve Rogers (Captain America), Mark Ruffalo’s calm Bruce Banner (the Incredible Hulk) and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. There’s witty repartee aplenty (one line that had us all guffawing in the audience was “We need a plan of attack!” “I’ve got a plan – attack”) and the visuals are to die for, not to mention the finale showdown in New York, which features some eye-watering CGI and chase sequences. Emotionally, I was left wanting, but from a Hollywood Blockbuster, Avengers is as entertaining as they come, with a truly delicious villain in the form of rising British star Tom Hiddlestone. B+

Snow White and the Huntsman
Oh dearrr. So dull was this film that it took me a good 120 minutes to realise that Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in Avengers, was the Huntsman in this film, trololololo. Yeah, I was just massively disappointed, especially as the trailer had made this film look epic. My brother pointed out, quite fairly, that one of the biggest failures of the film was that Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is supposed to be more beautiful than Ravena (Charlize Theron), and pretty as Stewart is, Charlize Theron is infinitely more beautiful than her, particularly with the fabulous outfits, hair and make-up she sports in this film. Aside from that I was just utterly bored, there were a few action sequences worth a damn but it all seemed rather out of place in a film based on a fairytale. I wasn’t even piqued by the set of Ray Winstone and Eddie Marsdan as dwalves, that’s how dull this film was. F.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween, dears.







Scariest attempts to act -
Kyle McLachlan, "Blue Velvet"
Scarlett Johansson, "Lost in Translation"
Keira Knightley, POTC
Emma Watson, all Harry Potter movies, especially "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"

Monday, August 27, 2007

My favourite actors ever.

Don't believe anything I say, or you shall die.

This post is in participation with Piper’s Bizarro blogathon at Lazy Eye Theatre. If you believe any of what I am about to write, then, well, you haven’t been reading this blog often enough. I’m not serious, OK?!?!?

I really admire Sylvester Stallone as an actor. Rocky Balboa was one of the best film characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of having witnessed, and I’m delighted that he continued to make twelve others. Each sequel is as good as the last. Rocky rocks!

So, Hilary Duff. She’s like, so perfect. She can sing, dance, but best of all, her acting! I really don’t know which of her performances I like the most, for she was incredible in Cheaper by the Dozen and A Cinderella Story. But I gotta say, it’s Lizzie McGuire that was her deepest, most profound performance. Her honest, convincing portrayal of everyday girl Lizzie was like, so utterly inspiring! I want to go to Rome and become a singer like she did! Anyway, Hilary totally rocks.

An actress I like even more than “Hil” is the British Goddess that is Emma Watson. Honest to God, I can’t think of a better girl to play Hermione. As Hermione, she’s not at all annoying, and she is obviously so much better than Rupert Grint! People who say she merely acts with her eyebrows don’t know a damn thing about acting, she’s the Lee Strasberg of the 21st century, I tell ya!
… But I would turn down a friendship with Emma, point blank, if it meant I could meet my all-time idol, Scarlett Johansson. Honestly, could you get any more beautiful and talented than that girl? Her face never looks contorted, and her pouting is so beautiful. And her BAFTA win for Lost in Translation was immensely deserved, nobody does sitting around and looking cool than Miss Johansson! Oh, and that shag-in-the-lift episode with Benicio del Toro just shows how utterly classy she is; she’s such a Goddess!


Wow, I'd been in quite a bad mood today, but that really cheered me up! I suggest you lot all participate in this blogathon and make hate love and love hate. Go on!