We are not talking about the horrendous American Hustle love-in that was the BAFTAs last night. I'm delighted 12 Years a Slave won Best Film, because it was comfortably the best movie of 2013 and possibly one of the best of all time, and Barkhad Abdi winning Supporting Actor was awesome. But as for the AH love-in, and to a lesser extent, the Gravity one, the less the said the better.
So, to take my mind off that shambles, it's time for the 2014 edition of my lovely ladies!
10. Taylor Swift (new entrant)
I don't know if it was when I was thinking about the poignancy of the lyrics of Teardrops on my Guitar, or bopping along to I Knew You Were Trouble., that I realised, I really appreciate Swift's failed love life. Because it allows her to write some incredibly perceptive, true pieces of the messiness that is amour, set to her country music surroundings. Furthermore, her music has evolved with time, so that now and then there'll be a trendy smattering of dub step in her ditties, but she never deviates too far from the Nashville roots that served her so well. Plus, despite having legs all the way up to heaven, she doesn't flash her skin that much at all, which for a young woman trying to sell records, is mighty refreshing. Unlike the likes of Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift doesn't have to work her ass off trying to shock. She just lets her sweet music do the talking.
09. Lupita Nyong'o (new entrant)
To say I was displeased when Jennifer Lawrence won Supporting Actress at the BAFTAs last night is an understatement. How Lawrence's overbaked caricature of a New Jersey housewife won over Nyong'o's measured, heartbreaking turn as poor abused slave Patsey is a goddamn travesty. Now, the way the precursors have gone, it looks like Jlaw will indeed win her second Oscar in a row, so stealing the crown that is rightfully Lupita's. But no matter who wins the golden statue come March, Lupita owns Jlaw, nay, all of Hollywood, in the fashion stakes. From the moment she rocked up to the Golden Globes in a red cape, to the dazzling emerald ensemble she wore last night, Nyong'o is queen at rocking block colour in a less-is-more approach to high fashion. Oscar or not, this Yale graduate is a brilliant actress with fantastic sartorial choices, and will go far.
08. Sarah Hyland (new entrant)
Famous for playing the bimbo big sister off Modern Family, the most striking part of Sarah Hyland's appearance are her big beautiful eyes. These are complemented with other classical beauty features - button nose, soft cheeks, gorgeous smile, as well as a skinny figure I'd simply kill for, and decent cleavage that is sported proudly throughout the show in a, to quote Phoebe off Friends, "obviously, yet classy way". Hubba bubba.
07. Miranda Kerr (up 3 places)
I like it when strong, attractive women shed themselves of their deadbeat spouses, and when I heard Miranda Kerr had dropped her crap actor of a husband, Orlando Bloom, I loved her even more, so propelling this dime of a lady even higher on my girl crush list. She's all over Mango when I go in, and I think she's the perfect choice for that store, as their outfits are as sleek, classy and chic as Miss Kerr herself. And let's not forget her knockout bod; you don't become a Victoria's Secret model for nothing, after all.
06. Cara Delevingne (new entrant)
Such is Cara's swaggering confidence, that I was surprised to discover she was only 1m 71cm tall. Not that that's short by anyone's standards, but to be a catwalk model you generally have to be 5'8''. That Delevingne could toss out the rulebook shows she had a certain je ne sais quoi that dazzled all the chief designers. Her striking eyebrows remain her most famous attribute, but this sleek-limbed queen also has a tidy body, great skin and beguiling grey-blue eyes, the latter of which reel you in in every photo I've seen of her. Verily I say, in a few years time, she will have displaced Kate Moss as the alpha supermodel.
05. Kristen Stewart (up 2 places)
Poor, beleaguered Kristen. Mocked for her acting, and now, mocked for her poetry, as she bared her soul by revealing some of her scribblings. Granted, it was a little overwrought. A bit try hard. That enjambment tho!!!
Literary pretension aside, verily I say, this list isn't an acting competition, and Stewart's awkward, aloof presence at awards ceremonies and promos is miles away from Anne Hathaway's polished Oscar campaign last year, where she kept insisting repeatedly that she wasn't fussed whether she won or not (she was only convincing herself). Stewart may not be the most likeable, but she is 100% herself, and for that, I thoroughly respect and admire her.
04. Mila Kunis (up 1 place)
Last Friday, in the Wetherspoon's at Victoria Station. I was talking to two of my colleagues about the scene in Black Swan where Mila Kunis goes down on Natalie Portman. "It's really intense", I'd said. "At one point, when she's really getting into it, she looks up from what she's doing and Mila's eyes look SOOOO BIG".
That is all.
03. Selena Gomez (up three places)
What I said previously about how I love it when powerful women ditch their loser spouses? Well Selena Gomez did the mother of all ditches when she rid herself of Justin Bieber, who, it was rumoured, couldn't deal with Gomez's fame and fortune. Well he can shove it, because not only is SG a great screen presence (on TV, movies and on stage), but her baby-faced cuteness is now evolving into something darker, showing hints of a tigress veneer under the innocent smiles. She was the best thing about the shambles that was Spring Breakers, and Come and Get it was one of my jams of 2013. Keep being awesome, Selena.
02. Dianna Agron (non-mover)
Whilst I'd deem some of the other girls on this list as sexy, Dianna Agron will forever be beautiful. She is beauty personified. The epitome of elegance. Pretty blonde hair, those cut-glass cheekbones, plump lips and best of all, her amber eyes, which are Disney-wide and hold my gaze whenever I'm watching her. Now that she's not on Glee, I don't even bother with that crap any more, and only Dianna Agron's loveliness could entice me into parting dollar to watch ballacks like The Family.
01. Lana del Rey (non-mover)
Ohai. My Queen Lana. Hated by many but never bettered, Lana's alternative, kooky charms will never be for everyone, but are fully for me. Her song Young and Beautiful was the only highlight (bar Leonardo DiCaprio) of Baz Lurhmann's messy Great Gatsby remake, and whilst it's been a quiet year for her overall, when she does pop up with songs, they never fail to satiate my appetite - she did a haunting cover of Once Upon a Dream for the upcoming Disney movie Maleficient, which is now top of my most eagerly awaited 2014 releases because of that. I'm hoping 2014 will be a bit busier than last year for Lana on the music front, but even if it isn't, she'll probably top this list next year anyway. She just has that kind of spell over me.
*Frankie Sandford off The Saturdays, a frequent entry on my girl crush list, missed it this year, because, unlike Miranda Kerr and Selena Gomez, she hasn't shed her deadbeat yet.
