No Country for Young Men

Dunkirk 2: The Frenchman Rises - where Tommy goes back for Gibson, rescues him, and the two celebrate being evacuated by going to a LA Dodgers game. Absolutely love that Barnard is wearing Ray-bans in this photo!

Over the Easter weekend, when I wasn't watching my club lose miserably to Spurs, I was making the most of the poll function on Instagram, to investigate one of life's most important, unanswered questions:

Just who is the hottest actor in Dunkirk?

Of the principal cast, I took the eight youngest / most prominent actors (so not Kenneth Branagh and Mark Rylance or James D’Arcy, sorry), arranged them alphabetically by surname and used a random number simulator in R to draw pairs (trust me to make swooning over actors nerdy).

I then set the question up as a football-style tournament, where my Instagram followers chose their preferred eye candy of choice. I added pictorial evidence, to save my followers having to go 'who?' and googling who they were.

Round 1:

Battle of the twinks on the boat.

Battle of the twinks on the beach.

Who would you have chosen? This is what Instagram decided:

Poor Barry. Altho he was legit evil in The Killing of a Sacred Deer, so, there is that.

Ni! Gibson deserved better!

Despite several of the film blogs I read being quite into their twinks, this was not mirrored by my Instagram poll, where the voters clearly preferred their men, men. Aneurin Barnard lost comprehensively to Tom Hardy (Gibson deserved better!), and Harry Styles and Tom Glynn-Carney only made it past the first round because their opponents were another twink.

These three chaps all got knocked out in the first round.

Semi finals:

In the semi-finals, these boys were easily out-fought by Tom Hardy and Cillian Murphy, meaning the final was between the two regulars of the Nolan-verse, the Inception, Dark Knight Rises and Peaky Blinders stars. 

Final:

Cillian Murphy beat Tom Hardy, crowning him the hottest actor in Dunkirk according to Emma’s Instagram followers. A very solid shout; I elected the dishy Irishman 5th fittest guy in a 2017 movie (altho this list needs a wee bit of updating now that I've gone into full fangirl mode for Ni!)

But it got me thinking, if the way the poll was conducted (in a football cup-style tournament), and the small sample size, affected the results? Obviously, the limited sample size means the result is hardly watertight.

So now I propose investigating this question another way: as a simple poll, where you just choose your favourite and that’s that. 

For inclusion, I’ve added Branagh, Rylance (who I last watched being loopy af in Ready Player One), James D’Arcy and even Christopher Nolan, if cerebral, slightly intense filmmakers are your thing.

Happy voting! (And no, this is not me trying to game the system so Aneurin Barnard and Fionn Whitehead get more votes. Honest, guv’nor).

The artist who drew this caught the likeness of Tommy and Gibson's eyes beautifully!

Dishiest Dunkirk dude?

Aneurin Barnard

Kenneth Branagh

Tom Glynn-Carney

James D'Arcy

Tom Hardy

Barry Keoghan

Jack Lowden

Cillian Murphy

Christopher Nolan

Mark Rylance

Harry Styles

Fionn Whitehead

pollcode.com free polls

Hmm, embedding seems to be omitting the 'Vote' button. Click here if you feel passionately enough to cast your vote, ahaha.

I'm trying to apply inception to get the reader to vote a certain way with these picture choices, aha. ICYMI: I decided to shove Tom Hardy overboard in my hotties of 2017 list. I like the Welshman masquerading as a Frenchman masquerading as an Englishman now.