Showing posts with label Martin Scorsese. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Martin Scorsese. Show all posts

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Second-guessing which films got the BBFC the most complaints in 2019

This blog is rated 15 for strong sex references and descriptions of violence.

After years of releasing their annual reports every July, 2018's BBFC annual report was instead released in late May. As I really love testing my BBFC senses on a yearly basis, to see how good I am at reading the general public's perception of what BBFC ratings for films ought to be, I thought I'd guess which films got them the most complaints in 2019!

Note, when I refer to a '2019 release', this actually means any film that came out in cinemas in the UK in 2019. So The Favourite, although a 2018 film by American release dates (and eligible for the 2019 Oscars and BAFTAs for that precise reason), didn't hit UK cinemas until January 2019, and is thus a 'UK 2019 release'. 

My guesses:

01. Joker



Saturday, January 04, 2020

Golden Globe 2020 Predictions

I've been sadly rather neglectful of my blog of late (I'm been extremely busy at work!), but one thing I  will always find time for, no matter what, is movie awards prognostication. The Golden Globes take place tomorrow evening, and I absolutely love blindly guessing!

Last year, the Golden Globes had a surprising amount of clout, as their rewarding Glen Close best actress (and not Lady Gaga as I'd predicted), meant the Best Actress Oscar was between Close and Olivia Colman. Furthermore, they gave Best Film, Musical or Comedy to Green Book, which went on to win the Oscar for Best Picture. This meant that, in the landscape of 2019's Best Picture, the Golden Globes fared better than the BAFTAs as an Academy Award weathervane.

So without further ado, Emma's guesses!


Best Film, Drama: The Irishman


Monday, June 26, 2017

Product reviews: BOX OF SIX MACARONS (Ladurée) and POSH PROFITEROLES (Marks and Spencer)

"Not really your kind of place, is it?"


Thursday, January 26, 2017

Rules (to BBFC guidelines on sex references) Don't Apply.


Warren Beatty's vanity project, Rules Don't Apply was released to lukewarm acclaim. I saw the trailer and immediately sensed the case of 'sticking as many celebrities in a film as possible to paper over the cracks of its low quality' and thought Nah. As far as I'm concerned, I'm content having seen just one film about Howard Hughes, Marty Scorsese's seminal The Aviator.

But even if I have no intention of watching a film, I still read its BBFC extended information, just to have some indication about the content in it (case in point, writing a whole blog post about Passengers' short insight as I have no life). 

Rules Don't Apply's short insight is popular amongst several 12A-rated films: 'moderate sex references, infrequent strong language'.

With regards to these 'moderate sex references', it said this:


Ahem at the bit about 'a small dark stain'. Given that the BBFC have rated the mere mention of ejaculation a 'strong sex reference' (see Fathers and Daughters), I thought this visual sex reference is a bit risqué for 12A!

Perhaps it sounds worse reading it than watching it, and the fact that it got PG-13 in the States and 12A in Ireland, imply that. Maybe it's a really tiny stain. But still. I'm very surprised the BBFC passed it at 12A, a rating which has less allowance for sex references than the American PG-13 (case in point, the likes of MustangDumb and Dumber To and Easy A were PG-13 but (admittedly soft) 15s because their sex references were deemed too crude for 12A). The BBFC has no problem deviating from the Americans on this front, and I think they probably ought to have here.

For example, in Dumb and Dumber To, rated 15 for 'strong sex references', the sex jokes the BBFC thought inappropriate for 12A were when Jim Carey's not-too-bright character gets tricked by an old woman into fingering her. Obviously they don't show it, just his hand rummaging around under some sheets, and later he exclaims 'I just finger-banged an old lady!'. I agree with the BBFC that that is probably a bit dicey to put in a 12A. But personally, the sight of a stain on a dude's crotch, in my opinion, is even  more scabrous. In both cases, if watched with kids, the kid might innocently ask 'what's that stain on his trousers / what does finger-bang mean'?

It's good that the BBFC avoided the second awkward conversation between parents and some 9-year-old, but I'm not sure they'd relish having the first one either!

Then again, I haven't seen the film.

(I hope 'the small dark stain' in question doesn't appear on Alden Ehrenreich's trousers. I like him and don't want to see him make a buffoon of himself!)

---

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm rather obsessed with film ratings. Here be the archive of my BBFC posts.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Predictions: 2017 OSCAR NOMINATIONS (three months before the ceremony).

The aim is to also post predictions in a month's time, and before when they get announced, on January 24th 2017, as well, so I can see how my guesses change. Here goes!

Disclaimer: as I haven't seen a lot of these films, a lot of what I'm saying is just guesswork. I could end up despising a bunch of these movies once I view them, and completely alter my predictions! For  predictions more grounded in research and opinion, check out Nathaniel's impressive compendium. He's a professional film writer so he's seen most of the films discussed, and thus, his word carries a lot more clout!



Picture
Any number between 5 and 10 could get nominated, so I'm going...
01. La La Land
02. Fences
03. Moonlight
04. Silence
05. Manchester by the Sea
06. Jackie
07. Arrival
08. Lion


Of these titles, I've so far only seen Arrival, which I was very impressed with, particularly given my innate aversion to sci-fi. It was a smart movie, but more importantly, it was a humane movie, and that, coupled with the tight, unostentatious visuals, means it deserves to get nominated.

Of the other seven, Jackie interests me the least, but then again we all know my thoughts about Natalie 'earnest' Portman, haha.  La La Land, Fences and Moonlight look absolutely captivating in their own ways, and I can't wait to watch them. 

Despite the fact that Scorsese is my favourite director, Silence's trailer left me a bit cold. I'm not sure what's up with Adam Driver and Andy Garfield's accents, and it just seems to lack the energy of a Wolf of Wall Street or The Depahted. But, we'll see.




Director
01. Damien Chazelle, La La Land
02. Pablo Larraín, Jackie
03. Martin Scorsese, Silence
04. Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
05. Denis Villeneuve, Arrival

Pablo Larraín has two films that are in serious contention at the 2017 Oscars, the other being Chile's entrant in to the Foreign Language Film category, Neruda, starring Mexican hottie Gael García Bernal (I totally just said his name out loud with an affected Latinamerican accent whilst typing this, haha). Chazelle's Whiplash was my favourite film of 2014, and his direction on it (particularly the scenes where JK Simmons yells at Miles Teller) were superb. Apparently La La Land is even more assured than Whiplash so that, the strong critical response the film has garnered, surely render him the frontrunner.




Actor
01. Denzel Washington, Fences
02. Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
03. Ryan Gosling, La La Land
04. Tom Hanks, Sully
05. Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge


Andy Garfield is a bit of a left-of-field shout, but I just think that he can't appear in two prestige pictures and get totally ignored, and Silence's trailer didn't really seem like it had a 'proper' lead, so I've plumped for this. Plus, he was HELLA snubbed for The Social Network (fourth favourite performance of 2010, just saying).

Tom Hanks impressed audiences in both Bridge of Spies and Captain Philips and most people were surprised he didn't get nominated for at least one of them, particularly given the Academy are fond of him (he's the only actor to have won Best Actor back-to-back, for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump, respectively. Although Eddie Redcarpet sure tried hard to achieve that feat by stealing roles from transgender actresses, just saying). So many feel Hanks is due a nomination this year.

I currently have Denzel listed as frontrunner just because I don't want creepy Casey Affleck to be frontrunner, given his past history of groping a sleeping woman. Hopefully that holds him back from achieving the gold and leads Denzel to receive his third Oscar.




Actress
01. Natalie Portman, Jackie
02. Emma Stone, La La Land
03. Annette Bening, 20th Century Woman
04. Amy Adams, Arrival
05. Jessica Chastain, Miss Sloane


Sigh. I am so gutted that Viola Davis is campaigning as Supporting Actress for Fences rather than Leading. From reports of people who have seen the film, it's one of those borderline cases (so not as brazen as, say, Felicia Vikander in The Danish Girl and my girl Rooney Mara in Carol last year), and Viola just submitted herself in Support to give herself more of a fighting chance of getting the gold. Which I get, #YouDoYou, but even from her clips in the trailer, she was immense, and I feel that, even with less screen time than Portman, she would have run her and Stone close. Viola is a leading lady and deserves no less than to be acknowledged as one!!!!!

Anyway, yeah, looks like Natalie Portman's heading towards her second Oscar.

Jessica Chastain for Miss Sloane is a bold pick, given most predictions have listed Isabelle Huppert, an icon of French cinema, for Elle in her place. It is indeed a travesty that Huppert doesn't even have one Oscar nomination. But as we know, talent only comes to play about 15% of the time at the Oscars. Emily Blunt doesn't have an Oscar nomination, either. 😒

I feel Miss Sloane, about a gun lobbyist, has a strongly political slant that could play well into Hollywood's hands given the recent US elections. I follow Chastain on Facebook and she's already been pointing out the parallels between the movie and life, so...

Finally, Amy Adams is very well-liked by the Academy, and is due an Oscar statuette at some point. Her performance in Arrival won't win, as it was too muted and unflashy, but the overall quality of the film, her popularity, and the fact that she was also in Nocturnal Animals makes me feel it would be churlish of them to deprive her of her sixth nomination.






Supporting Actor
01. Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
02. Peter Sarsgaard, Jackie
03. Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea
04. Liam Neeson, Silence
05. Stephen Henderson, Fences

Ali has been picking up raves everywhere for his performance in Moonlight, so much so that I highly doubt his limited screen time (the film is told in three parts so every actor bar Naomie Harris is only in, at most, a third of it) will be to his detriment. Plus a really solid piece of acting lingers with your regardless of how short the running time was (think: Anne Hathaway in Les Mis).

From the trailers, Lucas Hedges looks like he's doing great work in Manchester by the Sea. Oscars can be a bit sexist in that in the Supporting Actress category, they're more than happy to nominate/award young girls (eg Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit, Saoirse Ronan in Atonement, Anna Paquin in The Piano), whereas they're stingier with dishing out slots for boys of comparable ages. But with their egregious omission of Jacob Tremblay last year for Room, they've got some atonement of their own to do. Hopefully Hedges reaps the dividends. 





Supporting Actress
01. Viola Davis, Fences
02. Naomie Harris, Moonlight
03. Nicole Kidman, Lion
04. Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
05. Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Miss Sloane

I'll admit that the prevalence of women of colour in this category is influenced by some heavy wishful thinking on my part! But seriously, no-one needs to make reparations more than the Oscars for last year's complete whitewash. By all means nominate a white actor if they were good, but 'talent' argument doesn't really work given they nominated Eddie Redcarpet for The Danish Girl, Jennifer Lawrence for Joy, Mark Ruffalo for Spotlight and Christian Bale for The Big Shortperformances that compare very unfavourably to Oscar nominated-performances in the past. To say those selections were mediocre would be an insult to mediocrity.

So yeah, I don't give a sh_t if the Oscars go too far the other way in terms of affirmative action this year; performers of colour are owed some kudos. 

Naomie Harris is apparently amazing in a de-glam role as the junkie mum of the protagonist in Moonlight. She was always charming as flirty Moneypenny in the James Bond movies, so looking forward to seeing her in this role. Hidden Figures sounds great: uncredited women of colour who did all the grunt work for NASA and didn't get the credit for it. Apropos, and pretty similar to the Oscars, actually.

And Britain's very own Gugu Mbatha-Raw is a luminous screen presence (Mark Kermode, in his review of Free State of Jones, described a scene where she smiled, saying 'the whole screen lit up'), and should have been given the role of Belle in Beauty and the Beast instead of Emma Watson. Gugu is strikingly beautiful, has musical and dramatic training (unlike Emma), has previously played someone called Belle (in Amma Asante's Belle), and, most importantly, can actually act. 

But ofc Emma Watson got the part.

As I said, Hollywood has some serious reparations to make.

Original Screenplay

01. Jackie
02. 20th Century Woman
03. Manchester by the Sea
04. Moonlight
05. Zootopia

Adapted Screenplay
01. Fences
02. Lion
03. Arrival
04. Silence
05. Hidden Figures
--

I'm not going to bother predicting the technicals, foreign film and short films until closer to the time when I've seen more.

I shall check back after the actual nominations come out and compare how I did! =)

Monday, November 21, 2016

Walking in an Overpriced Wonderland.



Saturday, September 10, 2016

Sausage Party should NOT have been rated 15!!

Urgh, Sausage Party.



I wasn't the biggest fan of this film (5/10 for me), which is somewhat surprising given I love crude, non-PC humour a la Family Guy, and the Hollywood cast behind it was eye-watering. But I found SP ludicrous, try-hard, thinking itself cleverer than it was, as well as committing the cardinal sin of comedies: being unfunny.

The dialogue, for starters, felt forced, like they were trying to beat some record for the amount of f-bombs in a movie. The screenwriters inserted 'f_ck' into almost every line of dialogue and as such, it lost its impact. It also led the script to feel somewhat clunky; contrast that to the swearing in Martin Scorsese movies. In some of his films, the curse words come thick and fast, but you buy it, because it feels organic, and part of the character and the way they speak. With SP it just felt like they were trying to be edgy.

I didn't laugh at many of the jokes. I thought the scope was too ambitious - trying to cover racism, religion, and analogising each race to foodstuffs (how utterly groundbreaking), as well as having an underlying story about sausages discovering the truth about what happens to them. The weird plunger who kept wanting to get revenge on Seth Rogen and Kristen Wiig's character was creepy A F, didn't like him.

But I'm not here to rant about Sausage Party. It's doing well for itself at the Box Office, and you can't begrudge Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg for that. What didn't do it for me, is clearly doing it for many other cinemagoers.

No, I'd like to discuss how on earth the BBFC gave Sausage Party a 15 certificate. There are two main classification issues that I thought should have taken it to an 18.

1. The male-to-female usage of the c-word
in the following discussion, when I refer to 'cnut', I'm actually talking about the word with the n and the u switched around.

The f-word itself is not enough to elevate a 15 to an 18, no matter how many times you say it. And you can actually say 'cnut' quite a few times in a 15-rated film (from the BBFC podcasts, I believe the record number of c-words you can say is seven or eight), depending on the context. 

But single uses of the c-word can lift it from a 15 to 18. I'm thinking of Sleeping Beauty, not the Disney classic, but a dark tale of a girl who lets men pay her to do whatever they want to her whilst she's asleep. There were three issues contributing to the 18 certificate there, but if you read the report I linked, one of them was an 18-rated use of the c-word, which was directed aggressively towards her whilst she's asleep. There's another such anatomical use of the c-word, directed from a man to a woman in François Ozon's similarly themed Jeune et Jolie, also an 18.

So the BBFC are pretty squeamish about male-to-female uses of the c-word, because of the misogynistic overtones, as well as the fact that men are generally taller and stronger than women, so the utterance of the c-word adds to an element of 'imbalance of power'. One episode of Californication was thus put up to 18 because a lady was called a 'f_cking cnut' by a drunk man because she accidentally bumped into him.

Similarly, one of the two issues that got Gone Girl its 18 rating was when Ben Affleck calls Rosamund Pike a 'f_cking cnut' repeatedly, to which she replies defiantly, 'I'm the cnut you married'.

Off the top of my head, one film which was passed 15 despite containing a male-to-female usage of the c-word is in Frank, when Domhnall Gleeson calls Maggie Gyllenhaal one. But that scene is resolved immediately in a comic manner to show that she hasn't taken offence, quite the opposite, it's turned her on, and in that case, the impact is greatly reduced.

Anyway, back to Sausage Party, which contained three uses of the c-word. Two of them were uttered by Edward Norton's bagel, and he's either referring to himself or another man, so they didn't bother me. His character has ongoing beef with a lavash called Kareem (Seth Rogen's laboured metaphor for the Israel/Palestine conflict), so one of the c-bombs was him calling Kareem that under his breath, pretty expected.

The third c-word, however, said near the start of the film, is delivered by Jonah Hill's sausage about Kristen Wiig's bun, after she's shown him up in front of everyone. He turns to Seth Rogen's sausage (Wiig's boyfriend in the film) and says 'Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cnut.'

Sidenote: we already know Jonah delivers the c-word with relish:


Given all the examples I've just given of films taken up to 18 because of male to female uses of the c-word, and what the BBFC repeatedly state themselves on their podcasts (which I have listened to over and over many a time on my commutes, how do you think I can just reel off examples off the top of my head?), a man screaming the c-word at a woman is likely to take the film up to an 18.

I get that Jonah's sausage didn't scream it in this scene, and he was also saying it about a woman rather than to her (although she was within earshot) but the matter of fact way in which he said it, the fact that misogynistic abuse was being played for laughs, meant that the BBFC should definitely have thought about the suitability of such language within a 15-rated framework.

2. The orgy scene
Firstly, I totally get that you can show quite a lot of sex in 15-rated films. Blue Valentine, Monster's Ball and Black Swan are held up by the BBFC as the upper bounds of sex that will be allowed in a 15; the former two flirted with the Kiss of Death rating, the NC-17 in the States, yet didn't even get the highest 18 certificate here.

(Interestingly, La mala educación, which, whilst being nowhere near Pedro Almodóvar's most explicit film and comfortably placed at 15, got NC-17 in the States. This is because the MPAA rate homosexual love scenes with a different yardstick to heterosexual ones, something that the BBFC, who treat all sex scenes equally, don't. Basically, the MPAA be hella homophobic).

The reason Blue Valentine and Monster's Ball had their sex scenes rated 15 despite being quite long and featuring mechanical thrusting motions, is, as argued by the BBFC in their podcasts, the crucialness they play to the plot of the films, as well as both movies featuring sex in the framework of a loving relationship.

It is for this reason that the BBFC are stricter on group sex scenes, even if the detail is minimal. The last Lindsay Lohan movie I saw, the 18-rated The Canyons, contained a ménage à quatre scene, but although there were some impressions of what was going on, it was so dimly lit that all you saw were shadowy movement. Because the shapes were so dark and vaguely made out, this group sex scene lacked the intimacy of something in, say, Blue Valentine.

Similarly, Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cut was rated 18 (the theatrical cut was a 15) due to one such scene, even though the BBFC's Irish counterpart, the IFCO, rated the Director's Cut a 15, and the Irish film board, whilst matching the majority of the BBFC's decisions, tend to be harsher with sex scenes overall. For example, some of the sex scenes that the BBFC allow at 12, the Irish rate 15. This tells me that the content of the Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cut scene couldn't have really been that strong, or else the Irish would have followed suit in rating it 18.

So the BBFC are more permissive than their Irish counterparts on sex overall, if it's within the framework of a couple doing it, whether it be man/woman [Never Let Me Go is a 15 in Ireland, 12 here], man/man, or woman/woman [Black Swan is an 18 in Ireland]), but stricter on orgies. Fair enough, every film board is different and operates by their own protocol.

So, why, then, if a sex scene involving more than 2 people usually gets a film an 18 certificate, was Sausage Party a 15?!?!?!?!?!

I lost count of the amount of members of the supermarket foods orgy scene, but there were a hell of a lot more people involved than just 2, and the detail was graphic, there was no ambiguity about what was going on, and the mechanical detail, in terms of sexual outlets was crude and nasty.

I was traumatised by that scene. The audience around me loved it, laughing their heads off at every frame, but honestly, I just thought it was tacky. And like I've said before, it's hardly like I'm epitome of highbrow; I usually find crude humour hilarious. But this was too much. And definitely too much for a 15 certificate.

I know the BBFC will just say that 'oh but it was with animated foods, it's not like it's humans' , but these foods are given anthropomorphic (foodthropomorphic?) qualities, so that argument doesn't really wash with me. They had arms, legs, faces, voices, and quite clearly, sexual libidos. To palm the explicitness of that sex scene off as 15-material just because they were cartoon sausages and buns is irresponsible, and irresponsible is not a word I often throw at the BBFC [I usually think they're too cautious].

Long post was long, I know. But Sausage Party should not have been a goddamn 15. I'm sure Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg would have embraced the 18 certificate had they been given it, and taken it as a badge of honour in terms of what it said about the film's filth. Because it was filth, and 15-17 years old should not have been allowed to see it.

--------------



maybe I just wrote all this because I watched Sausage Party almost exclusively for Jonah Hill (just like the cartoon pictured above), and the film was ultimately disappointing. Here's hoping that Kubo and the 2 Strings, which I'm watching tomorrow for Rooney Mara, won't follow in SP's crappy footsteps.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Goodbella.

Retrospective Outfit of the Day from when we celebrated my brother's 18th birthday (back in April) in a Petts Wood restaurant called Cyprianis. The wall art game in this place was strong!

Blue top: Marks and Spencer
Vest top underneath: Miss Selfridge
Glasses: Red or Dead

Sunday, July 31, 2016

My 10 Favourite Performances in an 18-Rated Movie.

I watched The Canyons this week, a Kickstarter-funded movie about the sexual jealousy and betrayal between a hedonistic movie producer and his glamorous girlfriend (Lindsay Lohan). The fact that the film was low-budget was apparent in the shoddy production value, lazy script and daytime TV-esque performances, but Lindsay Lohan was genuinely brilliant, even more so if you consider she had to deliver laughably bad lines and make them plausible. The high quality of her performance jarred with everything else about the film, which was extremely cheap and trashy, but at least it inspired me to do another list: favourite 18-rated performances.

Certain directors seem to be drawn to darker content than others, so it's no surprise that this list features multiple entries from films from three directors: two Fincher-directed performances (both fierce women who like a bit of revenge), two Quentin Tarantino-directed performances, and three Martin Scorsese directed-performances. But not the two seminal Robert de Niro turns (Taxi Driver, Raging Bull) that you might expect to see.

Very honourable mentions: Emily Watson in Breaking the Waves, Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York, Uma Thurman in Kill Bill Vol. 1  and Pulp Fiction, Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet (another spirit animal of mine. I jest. Or do I?), Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons, Léa Seydoux in Blue is the Warmest Colour, Leonardo DiCaprio in The Depahted, Dominique Swain in Lolita and Jonah Hill in The Wolf of Wall Street (heard he gets his penis out in a pool party scene or something).

10. Ray Liotta, Goodfellas
1990. director: Martin Scorsese. Rated 18 for strong violence.

09. Bel Powley, Diary of a Teenage Girl
2015. director: Marielle Heller. Rated 18 for strong sex.

08. Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 
2011. director: David Fincher. Rated 18 for strong sexual violence and sex.

07. Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street 
2013. director: Martin Scorsese. Rated 18 for very strong language, strong sex and hard drug use.

06. Sharon Stone, Casino
1995. director: Martin Scorsese. Rated 18 for strong violence. Not like a Scorsese film to have strong violence, now is it?

05. Mélanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds
2009. director: Quentin Tarantino. Rated 18 for strong bloody violence.
I idolised her back in 2010, and I still idolise her now. Au revoir, Shoshanna!

04. Michael Madsen, Reservoir Dogs
1992. director: Quentin Tarantino. Rated 18 for strong bloody violence, torture, strong language & sex references 

03. Kevin Spacey, American Beauty
1999. director: Sam Mendes. Rated 18 for strong language, once very strong, strong sex, violence & drug use 
It's interesting I had Dominque Swain as Dolores 'Lolita' Haze in my honourable mentions list, for this film, one of my top 15 of all-time, has heavy Lolita overtones running throughout. Even Kevin Spacey's character's name, Lester Burnham, is an anagram of 'Humbert Learns'.

And the top two, which was an absolute no-brainer...

02. Adèle Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Colour
2013.  director: Abdellatif Kechiche. Rated 18 for strong sex and very strong language.

01. Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl
2014. director: David Fincher. Rated 18 for strong bloody violence and very strong language.
Surprise!

Thursday, July 07, 2016

Four Eyes.

Jonah Hill's character in The Wolf of Wall Street, Donnie Azoff, is my second favourite film character to compare myself to. First would obviously be Rosamund Pike's Amy Dunne in Gone Girl. (I see myself in Amazing Amy because one's a God Complex-ridden conniving bitch who you should cross at your peril. The other's a character in a David Fincher film).

Anyway, perhaps due to me having just watched my gorgeous French bae Antoine Griezmann score a brace against Germany in Euro 2016 (don't know if you heard, but I quite fancy that Griezmann chap), I thought of Valentines Day. Which made me think of 2014's Valentines' Day release, The Lego Movie, which was directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. They also directed 2014's 22 Jump Street which starred Jonah Hill, and that in turn got me thinking about his character, and performance in The Wolf of Wall Street. (We got there eventually). #tenuous



Jonah Hill's character in The Wolf of Wall Street wears some pretty prominently sized glasses, which Leonardo DiCaprio's Jordan himself notes are made of clear glass, and only worn so that Donnie can appear more 'waspish'. I share no such affectation; with short-sightedness of -5 in both eyes and astigmatisms, I don't wear mine for no fashion statement.

(Sidenote: I know Leonardo DiCaprio's protagonist in WoWS would be the favoured character to compare oneself to, given his sharp suits and getting to bed the stunning Margot Robbie. But experience with too many dude-bro clown guys who work in the City and erroneously think they possess an iota of Leo's élan, swagger, and luck with the ladies has made me rather averse to Jordan Belfort-type comparisons. They think they're Leo in The Wolf of Wall Street; I wish they'd see the same ending as Leo in Titanic. Also, I like to keep candles away from my nether regions, please and thanks).

However, you know what they say: when God closes a door, he opens a window. And when he blights this obnoxious girlie with terribad eyesight, he gives her an opportunity to emulate her second favourite obnoxious 18-rated film character.


As you know, I got new glasses recently, and I don't love this purple pair as much as I do my red ones. My main grievance with them is that due to the largeness of the frame, they accentuate the slittiness of my eyes, something I'd rather not draw attention to.

But on the bright side, the glasses are plastic and large, and thus, make me resemble this elegant anti-hero ever the more, particularly in this shot, where I can delude myself that me and Jonah are wearing one and the same pair.


Every cloud!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Film review: KNOCK KNOCK (Eli Roth, 2015)

Even though I turned 25 over two months ago, and thus am now no stranger to watching 18-rated movies in the cinema, for me, it’s something which the novelty of doing doesn’t seem to wear off. Perhaps it evokes nostalgia-filled memories of the first 18-rated film I sneaked into – Martin Scorsese’s The Departed, when I was 16 (under the guise of wanting to watch The Devil Wears Prada, no less), perhaps it’s the feeling of #sophistication it imbues me with, and perhaps it’s the enjoyment of sharing a cinema-going experience with fellow fans without having to deal with bratty teenagers taking Snapchats of the screen throughout the film, but for this seasoned movie geek, watching an 18-rated film at the cinema is something that still makes me feel giddy.

Eli Roth’s Knock Knock is rated 18 for ‘strong sustained and sadistic threat, sex, sex references, nudity’, which is as pithy a summary of the plot as you’re likely to find. Keanu Reeves is Evan Webber, a happily married family man with the quintessential Hollywood family (blonde wife, a son, a daughter and a cute dog), quintessential Hollywood job (high-flying architect who’s CAD-skills are in high demand, meaning he can’t go to the beach with said family one weekend) and quintessential Hollywood house (an urbane bungalow just a few miles from central LA).



When he’s staying at home said weekend, hard at work, he gets a knock on the door. Standing in the pouring rain are two attractive young women, one flaxen, one brunette. They claim to be lost finding a house party they’re meant to attend, and could they dry themselves off whilst he gets an Uber. However, their salacious discussions, casual bending over and stroking of Evan hint at something much more calculated under the randy air stewardess veneer. Evan succumbs to their obvious allure and sleeps with them. And that’s when his problems take a deadly turn.

I’m yet to watch Eli Roth’s Hostel series, and, being one with an aversion for needless torture porn, I doubt I ever will. But I must admit, I was intrigued when I heard the premise of Knock Knock. The idea that the most dangerous thing to us is something that we let into our own house, and that we are the architects of our own downfall, are all themes that pique my interest. Knock Knock is, as expected, not a particularly pleasant viewing experience.

Every scene reeks with amorality and the two girls, Genesis and Bel (played by relative unknowns Lorenza Izzo and Ana de Armas) are on a level of batshit crazy that would make Gone Girl’s Amy seem like the picture of sanity. Watching them torture an affable but hapless guy for one mistake which they essentially entrapped him into, is troubling, to say the least.

But what elevates it from standard exploitation-fare is the sharp script, which balances bathos with the darkest of humour. On more than one occasion in the film, I chuckled (whether that be from being tickled by the writing or nerves, who knows). Despite what some reviews have said about Reeves being miscast, I actually completely bought him in this role, and Izzo and Armas were psychotic in their performances, yet magnetically so.

There were moments towards the end of the film as plot twist upon plot twist just got increasingly more ludicrous, but for a 100 minutes of edge-of-your-seat erotic thriller-meets-sarcastic morality tale, Knock Knock just about suffices. I certainly won't be opening the door of my house in a hurry.

6.5/10

Monday, August 05, 2013

Book review: THE INNOCENTS (Francesca Segal)

The Innocents opens with a quote from Edith Wharton’s The Age of Innocence (and adapted in a 1993 film by my favourite director, Martin Scorsese), and it wasn’t until after I’d read the novel and googled it that I twigged The Innocents is actually a modern day reworking of said novel. Whilst this probably says more about my horrific lack of knowledge of literary classics more than anything, there could not be a better advertisement for Wharton’s book than The Innocents, which moves the setting from 19th century New York to London, but aside from the setting, the themes, characters and decisions that are central to the novel transition effortlessly.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

My 10 Favourite Films of 2010.

I can’t tell a lie, I wasn’t exactly blown away by the majority of 2010 releases. Much of this was my own fault/ I didn’t frequent my little arthouse digs quite as much last year, which explains the highly commercial nature of the majority of my top 10. 

Whilst there are usually two or three obscure little treats in my top list, due to the fact that I barely watched any indie films this year, the top 10 is the most blockbuster it’s been for a while. And what I did see, on the whole, I wasn’t impressed with. 

Should I have time I may do a least favourite 10, but until then, the goodies.

10. StreetDance 3D [full review here]
I have big, unapologetic love for my dance movies (Step Up 2 made the same position on my top list of 2008 two years ago). StreetDance 3D is very similar to the Step Up movies; it centres around dance and disaffected youth and looks at how dance gives them a raison d'etre, and like with the original Step Up with Channing Tatum, it fuses hip hop and street dancing with the more refined skills involved in ballet. 

As so much of the film revolves around the dancing spectacles, the acting, plot and dialogue aren’t the greatest, but they more than suffice, plus there’s the novelty of seeing Charlotte Rampling cast as a ballet teacher; even in autopilot, she’s nothing less than a queen. 

Set in inner-city London, the city is shot in a way that Woody Allen captured London in Match Point- practically on a pedestal, and the cameos from Britain’s Got Talent acts such as Diversity and Flawless, the acting debut from the wonderful cheeky chappy George Sampson, the trendy soundtrack and the modern day Romeo and Juliet parallel all somehow fit together slickly. 

So whilst it’s a simple enough film in terms of character and plot, the dancing is anything but, and StreetDance 3D is one of the few films wherein watching it in 3D genuinely does heighten the viewing pleasure. Definitely worth singing and dancing about.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

"You think I'm funny?"

I spotted this interesting film posterPhotobucket

Maybe, just maybe, this film's supposed to be a comedy...

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This is gorgeous, btw:
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Sunday, April 04, 2010

Every night I go, I go sneaking out the door.

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Brothers (Jim Sheridan, 2009)
Vaguely interesting re-make of Brødre, with some strong performances from Gyllenhaal and Maguire, but Portman was lol-worthy. I strongly disliked the uglier daughter in the film as well; the things she said to Tobey Maguire over the dinner table deserved a slap.

Shutter Island (Martin Scorsese, 2010)
I'd read the book beforehand so knew the twist, but even so, I adored this film, a lot. Not my favourite from Scorsese, mind, that’s The King of Comedy, but it was really tense and well-sculpted, and Leonardo DiCaprio reminded me why he’s one of my 3 favourite actors with a characteristically strong performance. The sequences with DiCaprio and Williams were terrifically staged and dead depressing. The music was reallllly intense (albeit heavy on the usage of the double bass), which added to the impending sense of doom of the film. I don't think I like it quite as much as The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, but I prefer it muchly to Mulholland Dr.  Anyway, recommended.

Shank (Mo Ali, 2010)
Oh dear. I'm not exaggerating when I say this was one of the worst films I've ever seen in my entire life. I only watched it in the first place for Kaya Scodelario (Effy from Skins), but, aside from looking quite slutty and skinny, she didn't do anything. The male characters were all major pains in the backsides and I found myself, more than once, thinking "just die already". There was also a quite terrible scene in which two dogs beat the crap out of each other. Shit acting, shit direction and animal cruelty to boot. Piece of shit.

Cracks (Jordan Scott, 2009)
I'd been looking forward to watching this film for ages, and it didn't disappoint! Eva Green oozed charisma and it wasn't hard to see why Juno Temple and her fellow classmates idolised her so. Relative unknown María Valverde impressed me greatly and I felt for her in her plight. The "seduction" scene, wherein Green misuses her teacherly role was classily and darkly handled, and the score from Javier Navarrete (the guy that scored Pan's Labyrinth) was beautifully haunting.

Saw VI (Kevin Greutert, 2009)
Disappointing and not even terribly scary. I just thought Saws I-III did it a lot better, and some of the tortures (a man getting his insides incinerated with hydrochloric acid) were just beyond grim. Saw I was brilliant because it was so groundbreaking, but now everything was done and nothing surprised me.

Pretty Persuasion (Marcos Siega, 2005)
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My main problem with this film was that it quite patently couldn't decide what it wanted to be more like: a Heathers of the noughties, or a slightly meaner Mean Girls. As such, it couldn't quite deal with its own tonal modulations. Some of the banter was fun, but on the whole, it turned my stomach to think about 15-year-old girls doing some of the things that Evan Rachel Wood's character did.

I also watched the Easter special of Jonathan Creek, called "The Judas Tree", and I was reminded of why I love this show so much. Whilst I still haven't quite accepted Sheridan Smith as his sidekick, the mystery, plotting and denouement were all brilliant, and there was a fair dose of heartbreak in the finale. <3

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Let's hear it for the boy('s movies)!

I recall a conversation I had with my friends in Physics lessons last year about Fight Club and how I used to continually go on and on about how I didn’t care for it. Wondering if this is because it’s considered a “lad’s” movie, and that I have quite girly taste in films, I thought I’d compile a list of movies for men that I do enjoy.

Half today, half another day when computer stop crashing.

In alphabetical order:

Bad Boys I & II (Michael Bay, 1995 & 2003)
No? But they’re like, so fun, people! Will Smith & Martin Lawrence are the odd couple Mike & Marcus, a stylish pretty boy with a nice car and a family man, who have 72 hours to retrieve $100 million worth of stolen heroin. Cue a couple of truly thrilling (albeit brainless) action sequences, featuring car chases, shoot-em-ups and a heavy dosage of style over substance. The two leads are likeable enough with genuine chemistry and there’s some witty banter between them. It won’t trouble MENSA, but it does offer lightweight entertainment on days when one doesn’t feel like bothering to read the subtitles on a Fellini film. The second film offers much of the same, except being even more violent and adult (yet rated 15 as opposed to the original’s 18… showing that the bbfc have no consistency), and with a louder blaxploitation soundtrack. Lil’ tidbit: the Bad Boys II OST was the first soundtrack I brought.

Casino (Martin Scorsese, 1995)
Starring his bessies De Niro and Pesci, edited by Thelma Schoonmaker and featuring themes of corruption and betrayal, Casino has the makings of a typical Martin Scorsese crime drama. But bunged in as well this time is a woman. Or, to be more precise, Sharon Stone, proving that she can act, in a career-best as wag-ish showgirl Ginger McKenna, whom Sam (De Niro) is trying to persuade to marry him, at the same time as Nicky comes into town with an agenda of his own that threatens to ruin the party.


Crouchybung
Three hours is a long time by any stretch of the imagination and admittedly, the movie does drag towards the end. But you’re on constant alert throughout the film, whether it be due to the foul language (398 usages of the f-word, bb), painfully sadistic violence (Joe Pesci shows us the more experimental usages of a vice) or just Pesci’s unsettling presence in general. Having a woman in the film really complicates things, making stakes much higher and the three leads are all impeccable. A brutal, disturbing but completely compelling depiction of the choices we make and the deals we do, you can bet your copy of Goodfellas that Casino is a damn good movie.

Dead Man’s Shoes (Shane Meadows, 2004)
Along with Dogville, one of the films that makes me despair at the human race. It tells the story of a soldier (played by Paddy Considine), who returns to his hometown to extract revenge on the group of bullying shits that had messed with his mentally-slow brother years ago. Dead Man’s Shoes has been called a slasher movie, and indeed, there’s disturbing bloody violence a plenty, but what unsettled me more was the treatment of the group of people towards Anthony, the mentally
handicapped boy. Those scenes were just so painful to watch and I wanted to kill the characters that were picking on them. I felt a great sense of justice when they eventually did die their slow and darkly comic deaths. The killing scenes are executed with such sterile aggressiveness that I was terrified throughout, but Considine’s performance completely carries the movie; without him, it may have just begun to sink into farce. Oh, and the revelation of truth at the end? I bawled like a baby. And it felt so cathartic to do so, after a litany of killing, to cry for the death of a character that I actually cared about.

Face/Off (John Woo, 1997)
A convoluted thriller starring John Travolta as an FBI agent who decides to “become” comatose criminal Nic Cage in order to discover the whereabouts of a bomb he has planted. Slightly daft, but great fun, with a pretty underrated cast involving John Travolta, Nicolas Cage (even if they don’t look anything like another), Joan Allen (elegantly wonderful as ever), Alessandro Nivola (hot), Gina Gershon (weird) and Dominique Swain (she played Lolita, thus, rules). And John Woo sure does know how to direct a rollickingly good action sequence!

Kill Bill (Quentin Tarantino, 2003-2004)
The first time I heard of Kill Bill was when one of my friends told me about it, and I’d laughed. “Kill Bill?”, I’d scoffed, “That sounds like Like Mike!” Soon though, I found that having a rhyme in the title that these two films had in common. I saw the trailer of Kill Bill for the first time before Pirates of the Caribbean, and I was just blown away by how cool it looked, what with Battle without Honour or Humanity playing coolly underneath and all the quick-editing. I knew then that I had to see Kill Bill Vol. 1, and see it I did, on pirate DVD with my dad, and we both loved it. I became so obsessed with Kill Bill Vol. 1 that I used to walk around with a branch of a tree, imagining it was a samurai sword, I went round calling everyone “bitch” like they did, and anytime we had a school project that required backing music, Battle without… would be my track of choice.

The films themselves are good too, naturally. Uma Thurman kicks serious ass, the soundtrack is drool-worthy, and blink & you'll miss some of the uber-quick, hyperkinetic fight scenes. Plus, I personally adored the more "humane" strand in Vol.2, showing for once, that QT's inventions do have a heart. The look of maternal warmth in Bea's eyes when cuddling her daughter to the tune of McLaren's "About Her" is Tarantino's finest moment, in my opinion.

Mean Machine (Barry Skolnick, 2001)
Vinnie Jones showing that he can be likeable, he plays disgraced ex-footballer Danny Meehan who, falling discoveries that he was involved in match-fixing, falls from grace even further when he’s sent to prison for assaulting a police officer. Inside, pretty much everyone bar the odd football nut treats him like dirt. That’s until he puts together a game of cons vs. guards and suddenly everyone wants to be on his team, to prove to the guards that they’re not as useless as they’re continually told they are.

The first half of the movie, outlining Danny’s arrival at the prison and life inside it, is appropriately gritty, with all your typical British colloquialisms bunged about left, right and centre. All the clichés are there; Danny getting attacked, drug-dealing inmates, corrupt governors, etc. The second half revolves around the beautiful game, and the big match is filmed beautifully, with brilliant fouls thrown in, the type of fouls that would have present day footballers rolling around on the ground as if they’d been amputated. Danny’s team are winning at half-time, but then the governor, desperate for them to lose so he can make a profit from gambling, blackmails him with a longer sentence and Danny is forced to consider what means more to him – his personal freedom, or the spirits of his teammates. Not quite The Shawshank Redemption with footie, nor Bend it Like Beckham set in a prison, but terrific fun nonetheless.

So that was me. Feel free to share some men's movies you girls like, or vice versa.