I’ve waited long and hard, but Christmas for Emma has arrived! The BBFC Annual Report for 2017 dropped today, and here are the ten main takeaways I got from consuming it!
01. Emma knows her BBFC
Just as I’d predicted in my anticipation blog, the film which got the most complaints to the BBFC last year was Logan.
This blog is rated 15 for references to child abuse and strong sex references.
The BBFC drop their Annual Reports around July every year, where they discuss all facets of their guidelines and the film classification process in the UK. I await these reports with the same eagerness I await the Oscars with, and I think it's fun to try and predict which titles cause the BBFC the most complaints every year!
The less affluent underbelly of Disneyland Florida’s sunny surroundings is depicted with affection and humanity by Sean Baker, who follows 6-year-old Moonee through her adventures at the bright lilac motel where she lives with her mother.
Being as big a BBFC nerd as I am can be an affliction sometimes. It means that, for purposes of BBFC research, I end up watching titles that I would not watch otherwise (Fairy Tale – Dragon Cry, Red Sparrow, etc), and not particularly enjoying the experience.
Isle of Dogs was another example of such film. It wasn’t a bad film at all, but Wes Anderson is just not to my taste, and I didn’t feel like the film had enough of a sense of jeopardy regarding the dogs' mission, to keep me gripped.
I think Christopher Nolan is partial to actors and actresses with brown hair, but I'm not sure... Incidentally, I think 'Ariadne', Page's character, is the only well-written female in a Chris Nolan film. (This is partly why Dunkirk was so good; there were no women in it for him to invent just to kill off).
Unlike the MPAA rating ‘G’ which is almost becoming obsolete these days (even My Little Pony: The Movie got a PG in America) the BBFC does not require a film to be squeaky clean in order to get a U-rating (ditto Ireland and their equivalent to the U, G).
The guidelines at U allow for more in the way of comic violence, threat, very elementary sexual innuendo (eg flirting) and mature themes than the Americans. (Case in point: Inside Out, Finding Dory and Love and Friendship were all U/G here and in Ireland, yet received a PG in America.)
When I was wondering around WHSmith and Tesco, I noticed a few DVDs which really testify to this fact, from the sheer length of their short insights (in case you hadn’t realised, turning over DVD cases and reading the back is one of my favourite pastimes *James Franco in The Disaster Artist-style awkward laugh*).
The Angry Birds Movie, which was cut to get a U-rating (read about why here), is the longest with four issues at U:
I gave an R class on Thursday, where I showed how you can sort a dataset by more than one criteria. Here, it's sorted by BBFC rating, then IFCO rating, then alphabetically to give a rough outline of all the films I watched on my Odeon Limitless card (over two subscription years) from childish to most adult
My challenge to you: within the blocks of where the BBFC and IFCO ratings are the same (so for example, the first three films in the table), re-rank them so that the list of most childish to most adult is more accurate. Obviously this is a totally subjective exercise, but, give it a go!
A good musical has to have more than just one big marquee song. Frozen has several great ones, so I thought I’d do a top 5 of the ones that I liked the most. After all, it's a musical who's soundtrack I'm fairly well acquainted with, shall we say!
So,
after waiting, and waiting, and waiting, the BBFC Annual Report for 2016
dropped! Here it is, and having pored over it, here are my major takeaways from
reading it!
I’m
glad my many hours of wasting time watching films purely for BBFC research
purposes (such as Fairy Tail: Dragon Cry), poring over BBFC minutes and lurking
who complains to their Twitter account has paid off, because my
prognostications for the films that would cause them the most complaints were
even better than my Oscar predictions (and the Oscar goes to…. La La
Land! No, Moonlight! #stillgloating).
That Harry Styles movie,Dunkirk got its BBFC rating today, and as with Christopher Nolan's last six feature-length films, it's a 12A:
What stood out for me is that the short insight, for the four things in the film that render it 12A-worthy, each feature a different adjective:
- sustained threat (as was used in the short insight for Nolan's The Dark Knight, still by far the most complained about movie in recent years to the BBFC)
I know it took me long enough to compile this list, but I had to wait until Handmaiden got its UK release before I felt my 2016 list (going by US release dates in order to calibrate my list with all the bloggers I love) was well-researched enough.
Three films which ran Aquarius very close were Hell or High Water,Someone to Talk To and Certain Women. They would take 11-13 places on the list, naturally. 14th would go to Peter Berg's Patriots Day, mind, so you can take my recommendations with a pinch of salt.
I love movie stars (films, food and football are my entire life), but I won’t be staying up tonight for this dross. The dressing up box mafia preaching about politics at the BAFTAs was cringe AF and I won’t be subjecting myself to a bunch of millionaires lecturing me again, in addition to the yawn-tastic Blah Blah Land love-in.
Film
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: In the infinitesimal chance LLL doesn’t walk away with this, Moonlight has about a 0.0007% chance of an upset.
Who should have been nominated: A United Kingdom was ineligible, so Zootopia and er, Café Society. Honestly, it’s way better than Blah Blah Land! The stars in it actually had chemistry! The closing shot of the dreamy looks on Eisenberg & Stewart's faces was far more resonant and moving than that cliched, hackneyed 'what if' montage at the end of LLL.
Director
Who will win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land
Who should win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who might win: Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea. Although the odds of Damien Chazelle losing this is even slimmer than LLL not taking Best Picture. He’s got this sewn up.
Who should have been nominated: Ken Loach for I, Daniel Blake. Although had he won, he would have just taken the opportunity to hector the audience about what terrible people they were and how he knows better than all of us had he won, so on second thoughts…
Actor
Who will win: Creepy Affleck for Manchester by the Sea
Who should win: Honestly, I wasn’t enamoured with any of the three performances I've watched (Washington, Affleck, Gosling), but if I were to judge them on quality of the acting, Denzel owns this.
Who might win: Denzel Washington for Fences
Who should have been nominated: Chris Pine for Hell or High Water and Jesse Eisenberg for Café Society (JE will have to make do with the Razzie he won yesterday instead)
Actress
Who will win: Emma Stone for La La Land
Who should win: So once, I was on a date with insufferable clown who kept acting like he was the authority on The Wolf of Wall Street (even though he hadn't seen it). I'm afraid I'm now going to be a massive hypocrite and emulate said clown and say Isabelle Huppert, despite not having seen Elle. Because she’s a brilliant actress who’s long overdue, and everyone’s been raving about her icy portrayal of a complex character.
(and also because I'm hella salty towards Yellowface and the overrated film she was in).
Who might win: Isabelle Huppert for Elle
Who should have been nominated: Amy Adams for Arrival(!!!!) and Emily Blunt for The Girl on the Train. Note: I haven’t seen Aquarius or 20th Century Women.
Supporting Actor
Who will win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight
Who should win: Mahershala Ali for Moonlight
Who might win: Unfortunately, Dev Patel is going to run Ali close for this Oscar. I think the balance is currently 51/49 in Ali’s favour, but it's so finely judged right now I wouldn’t be surprised if I checked the results tomorrow morning to see Patel has won. I’d be devastated, but not surprised.
Who should have been nominated: Trevante Rhodes for Moonlight (stunning performance and my favourite of the year by far) and Alden Ehrenreich for Hail, Caesar!
Supporting Actress
Who will win: Viola Davis for Fences
Who should win: Viola Davis for Fences. Knockout performance, despite the clunkiness of Denzel Washington’s slightly vain direction doing her no favours. Plus she's a screen queen who never phones it in (see: Suicide Squad) who's well overdue.
Who might win: Michelle Williams for Manchester by the Sea
Who should have been nominated: Lily Gladstone for Certain Women and Hayley Squires for I, Daniel Blake.
Original Screenplay
Who will win: Kenneth Lonergan for Manchester by the Sea
Who should win: Taylor Sheridan for Hell or High Water
Who might win: Damien Chazelle for La La Land
Who should have been nominated: Jared Bush and Phil Johnston for Zootopia, and the Paedo for Café Society. But he's a paedo so who cares.
Adapted Screenplay
Who will win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who should win: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight
Who might win: Eric Heisserer’s slow-burning, cerebral script for Arrival has a fair bit of awards momentum, but if anyone’s going to trump Moonlight it’ll be Lion’s script due to the sheer brazenness of the Weinstein Company’s campaign. Just remember how hard they and Felicia Vikander campaigned for her fraudulent category Oscar last year. And Felicia saw the gold, so.
(Sidebar: The Weinstein Company are really trying to make that wannabe Leonardo DiCaprio, Dane DeYawn happen. Just check out this (unintentionally) hilarious trailer to Tulip Fever, which stars DeHaan and their girl Felicia:)
Who should have been nominated: Liu Zhenyun for Someone to Talk To and Whit Stillman for Love and Friendship
Editing
Who will win: Hacksaw Ridge. The vast majority of my predictions are copy+paste jobs from Nathaniel’s blog, but I disagree with him that LLL has this locked up. Hacksaw Ridge won the BAFTA in this category and seems to have ‘more’ editing in the in-your-face meaning of the word, so I’ve gone for that for my prediction.
Plus, this category, in recent years, has thrown up a few surprises, particularly The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s win in this category, meaning Editing is no long an automatic vote for the film Academy voters enjoyed the most.
(Obviously, I’m just deluded and refuse to accept a LLL sweep).
Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: La La Land
Score
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Jackie
Who might win: Passengers, because the fact that Thomas Newman (who's haunting scores for Finding Nemo, The Shawshank Redemption, American Beauty and Road to Perdition are part of the reason I persevered with the violin when the going got hard) doesn't have an Oscar but Jennifer Lawrence does is a bit *clown music*. But I think LLL's got a tight grip on this, so he'll have to keep waiting for his Oscar.
Song
Who will win: 'Shitty of Stars', La La Landdespite the fact that Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone's duet of it hurt my ears even more than the Boston accents in Manchester by the Sea did
Who should win: 'How Far I'll Go' from Moana
Who might win: there’s a chance that due to Blah Blah Land having two bland songs in this category ('Audition' being the other), they might split the vote, with some people voting for 'Shitty of Stars', and the others voting for 'Yawndition', there’s a glimmer of hope that Moana might be the beneficiary. I would love this.
Who should have been nominated: ‘Never Give Up’ by Sia, for Lion. It played over the closing credits whilst set to footage of the real Saroo’s journey and that in itself was more poignant than the majority of the movie.
I most certainly would not have nominated Shakira's song in Zootopia, which despite me loving both the film and the singer, was one of the most saccharine songs ever, and downright irresponsible in its suggestion that 'I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail'. I daresay parents of children who decide to try to fly off the top of a building wouldn't be quite as fond of such a lyric.
Cinematography
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Moonlight
Who might win: Lion Sound
Who will win: La La Land
Who should win: Arrival
Who might win: Hacksaw Ridge
Who should have been nominated: Kubo and the Two Strings Sound Editing
Who will win: Hacksaw Ridge
Who should win: Anyone other than La La Land. I couldn't hear what they were mumbling half the time!
Who might win: La La Land
Who should have been nominated: Kubo and the Two Strings Animated Film
Who will win: Zootopia
Who should win: Zootopia, although I love Kubo and the Two Strings, too. Both are 8.5/10s in my book and in my current top 6 of 2016.
Who might win: Kubo and the Two Strings. The surprise BAFTA win will definitely give their producers some hope, but ultimately, I think Zootopia’s charm is too strong.
Who should have been nominated: Nothing I can think of. Certainly not that over-long and over-convoluted Your Name, or that phoned in, disappointing sequel, Finding Dory. And DEFINITELY not that unbelievably unfunny, wannabe edgy Sausage Party. #ByeFelicia
Documentary Feature
Who will win: The 13th
Who should win: Haven’t seen any of them.
Who might win: OJ: Made in America
Foreign Film
Who will win: The Salesman. London Trafalgar Square is actually hosting a screening of this film today at 4:30pm, which I was intending on going to, but unfortunately I have some freelance programming work that needs to be done, so guttingly, I’m sitting this one out.
Who should win: Haven’t seen any of them.
Who might win: Toni Erdmann.
Who should have been nominated: Julieta
Makeup and Hair
Who will win: Star Trek Beyond
Who should win: Don’t care
Who might win: Suicide Squad
Who should have been nominated: A bit random, but I would go with Moonlight, for how they transformed Naomie Harris (who is 40 in real life but looks younger than Emma Stone, 28 #JustSaying) from the sleek Moneypenny we’re used to seeing, to a haggard druggie.
Visual Effects
Who will win: The Jungle Book
Who should win: Kubo and the Two Strings, hands down. Those origami battles were astonishing.
Who might win: Inception with A-levels, aka Doctor Strange
Who should have been nominated: Not Batman v Superman or Suicide Squad's distractingly bad effects, that’s for sure. I’m just surprised the Academy voters didn’t honour La La Land here, seeing as they seem to be giving out nominations to that Hollywood-fellating movie like smarties.
Production Design
Who will win: Unfortunately, La La Land
Who should win: Arrival
Who might win: Fantastic Oscar-Beggers and Where to Find Them
Who should have been nominated: Love and Friendship and Jackie
Costume
Who will win: I refuse to believe LLL will take this for some suits & skinny ties and Emma Stone’s colourful dresses. That would be one of the most egregious and lazy wins in Oscar history. I refuse to believe it and am refusing to predict it, even though it probably will. But I’m stubbornly predicting Jackie
Who should win: Jackie
Who might win: La La Land
Who should have been nominated: Café Society and Love and Friendship
I don’t predict short films, so I make that 8 wins for La La Land, which is excessive, to say the least, but given that they actually could win 13 (ties aren’t possible under this preferential ballot system), I’ll cut my losses and take 8. No more, please!
And if Mahershala loses to Dev Patel, then the Weinstein Company will have done their worst. As misdirected penance, I will write a scathing review of Tulip Fever on my blog (although let’s be real, it stars Dane DeYawn and Felicia Vikander. I was totally planning on doing that regardless). That'll teach them.
The Razzie shortlist was leaked and I see Cara Delevingne didn’t make the Worst Supporting actress shortlist, once again illustrating that the Razzies don’t deliver on their promise of honouring the worst of the year (which Blahra undoubtedly was), but instead, jumping on the bandwagon of critically panned films and knocking A-listers down a peg or two.
Anyway, I digress. I’m a massive BBFC nerd (you don’t say), and they release an Annual Report every June or so, and I love poring over it, because they discuss high-profile and contentious decisions at each age category. I’m just as fascinated as to why something’s a PG rather than a U as I am why something’s a 15 rather than an 18, and the equal exposure they give to all the ratings, as well as revealing which films got the most complaints each year, makes for fascinating reading.
That report is compiled by the BBFC, and I thought I’d do my own personal Razzies and Oscars of the BBFC for films that came out last year, just to add another dimension/point of view to BBFC reviews!
Before I discuss some decisions I strongly agreed (the Oscars) and disagreed (the Razzies), I will blather about some random thoughts which don’t fit into either category. My current eighth favourite film of 2016, High or High Water, was rated 15 for ‘strong language, violence, sex’. I have no qualms with the age rating, nor the first two classification issues. The ‘strong sex’ in question, however, gave me false hope; I was hoping it might feature dishy Chris Pine. Instead, it was his on-screen brother, played by Ben Foster, being ridden. Not the BBFC’s fault, I know, and says more about my dirty mind than their choice of lexicon. But I felt quite let down.
At least the sex scene in Hell or High Water could be classified as strong, however brief it was. In 2016 I caught up with a couple of films that featured in awards season for the previous year, two of which were Wild Tales and 45 Years. Argentinian film Wild Tales was an anthology of six short films, wonderfully inventive and blackly comic. 45 Years, a film about a wife who discovers her husband’s secret in the week building up to their 45 year anniversary, was less gripping, but anchored by an amazing performance by Charlotte Rampling. Two completely disparate films, connected by one thing: their BBFC insight promised me strong sex. What strong sex?? I’ve seen raunchier 12s!
In terms of short insight which did deliver on what it said on the tin, the starkest case has to be, to this date, still the only 18-rated 2016 release that I’ve seen (although this will surely change with the release of foreign films Elle and The Handmaiden), The Neon Demon. Rated 18 for ‘strong bloody images, sexual assault, necrophilia’, no one could argue it didn’t have each and every one of those three articles. The last one, in particular, must have been the main reason the film obtained its adult certificate. Jena Malone’s acting in the scene in question was brilliant and I thoroughly commend her for her dedication for making that 18-rated scene so credible, however aberrant the act.
Now I've made it a bit more taxing. As with the previous round, don't cheat and go on the BBFC website, that sucks the fun out of it. :P But by all means google the plot synopsis as that could help (altho some search engines show you the rating when you do that, hmmm).
Your Name, which has a cracking trailer and almost universal acclaim from everyone who's seen it, is bizarrely getting a very limited release in the UK. I have my ticket to see it on the 24th November, but had to settle for a slightly out-of-my-way Odeon venue, as all the central London ones were all booked up. Hopefully it will be worth it tho; I bloody love me some Anime.
Needless to say, I read the BBFC long insight as preparation for the film. That's a bit of a gamble as the long insights are laden with spoilers, but there you go. It's rated 12A over here for 'moderate language, sex references', in a classic case of a BBFC misnomer.
The plot revolves around a small town girl living in a lonely world and a city boy exchanging bodies, Freaky Friday-style. From the report, it sounds like the main reason the film's a 12A is because the boy, in discovering he's in the body of a woman, touches his boobs.
Bit harsh to rate a film a 12A for that, given that would be a pretty natural response! I also don't think lingering on a girls' chest counts as a 'moderate sex reference', either, so major inaccuracy in its short insight, there.
Glad to see that the Irish saw sense, and gave the film the PG it (sounds like it) deserves. Note how they also accurately classed the focus on a girls' chest as 'suggestive scenes'. That is pretty much all it is, not a sex reference. No need to make it sound seedier than it is.
Why are the BBFC so affronted by a bit of cleavage???
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I'm somewhat of a BBFC obsessive. All my other BBFC pieces are listed here.
I wasn't the biggest fan of this film (5/10 for me), which is somewhat surprising given I love crude, non-PC humour a la Family Guy, and the Hollywood cast behind it was eye-watering. But I found SP ludicrous, try-hard, thinking itself cleverer than it was, as well as committing the cardinal sin of comedies: being unfunny.
The dialogue, for starters, felt forced, like they were trying to beat some record for the amount of f-bombs in a movie. The screenwriters inserted 'f_ck' into almost every line of dialogue and as such, it lost its impact. It also led the script to feel somewhat clunky; contrast that to the swearing in Martin Scorsese movies. In some of his films, the curse words come thick and fast, but you buy it, because it feels organic, and part of the character and the way they speak. With SP it just felt like they were trying to be edgy.
I didn't laugh at many of the jokes. I thought the scope was too ambitious - trying to cover racism, religion, and analogising each race to foodstuffs (how utterly groundbreaking), as well as having an underlying story about sausages discovering the truth about what happens to them. The weird plunger who kept wanting to get revenge on Seth Rogen and Kristen Wiig's character was creepy A F, didn't like him.
But I'm not here to rant about Sausage Party. It's doing well for itself at the Box Office, and you can't begrudge Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg for that. What didn't do it for me, is clearly doing it for many other cinemagoers.
No, I'd like to discuss how on earth the BBFC gave Sausage Party a 15 certificate. There are two main classification issues that I thought should have taken it to an 18.
1. The male-to-female usage of the c-word
in the following discussion, when I refer to 'cnut', I'm actually talking about the word with the n and the u switched around.
The f-word itself is not enough to elevate a 15 to an 18, no matter how many times you say it. And you can actually say 'cnut' quite a few times in a 15-rated film (from the BBFC podcasts, I believe the record number of c-words you can say is seven or eight), depending on the context.
But single uses of the c-word can lift it from a 15 to 18. I'm thinking of Sleeping Beauty, not the Disney classic, but a dark tale of a girl who lets men pay her to do whatever they want to her whilst she's asleep. There were three issues contributing to the 18 certificate there, but if you read the report I linked, one of them was an 18-rated use of the c-word, which was directed aggressively towards her whilst she's asleep. There's another such anatomical use of the c-word, directed from a man to a woman in François Ozon's similarly themed Jeune et Jolie, also an 18.
So the BBFC are pretty squeamish about male-to-female uses of the c-word, because of the misogynistic overtones, as well as the fact that men are generally taller and stronger than women, so the utterance of the c-word adds to an element of 'imbalance of power'. One episode of Californication was thus put up to 18 because a lady was called a 'f_cking cnut' by a drunk man because she accidentally bumped into him.
Similarly, one of the two issues that got Gone Girl its 18 rating was when Ben Affleck calls Rosamund Pike a 'f_cking cnut' repeatedly, to which she replies defiantly, 'I'm the cnut you married'.
Off the top of my head, one film which was passed 15 despite containing a male-to-female usage of the c-word is in Frank, when Domhnall Gleeson calls Maggie Gyllenhaal one. But that scene is resolved immediately in a comic manner to show that she hasn't taken offence, quite the opposite, it's turned her on, and in that case, the impact is greatly reduced.
Anyway, back to Sausage Party, which contained three uses of the c-word. Two of them were uttered by Edward Norton's bagel, and he's either referring to himself or another man, so they didn't bother me. His character has ongoing beef with a lavash called Kareem (Seth Rogen's laboured metaphor for the Israel/Palestine conflict), so one of the c-bombs was him calling Kareem that under his breath, pretty expected.
The third c-word, however, said near the start of the film, is delivered by Jonah Hill's sausage about Kristen Wiig's bun, after she's shown him up in front of everyone. He turns to Seth Rogen's sausage (Wiig's boyfriend in the film) and says 'Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cnut.'
Sidenote: we already know Jonah delivers the c-word with relish:
Given all the examples I've just given of films taken up to 18 because of male to female uses of the c-word, and what the BBFC repeatedly state themselves on their podcasts (which I have listened to over and over many a time on my commutes, how do you think I can just reel off examples off the top of my head?), a man screaming the c-word at a woman is likely to take the film up to an 18.
I get that Jonah's sausage didn't scream it in this scene, and he was also saying it about a woman rather than to her (although she was within earshot) but the matter of fact way in which he said it, the fact that misogynistic abuse was being played for laughs, meant that the BBFC should definitely have thought about the suitability of such language within a 15-rated framework.
2. The orgy scene Firstly, I totally get that you can show quite a lot of sex in 15-rated films. Blue Valentine, Monster's Ball and Black Swan are held up by the BBFC as the upper bounds of sex that will be allowed in a 15; the former two flirted with the Kiss of Death rating, the NC-17 in the States, yet didn't even get the highest 18 certificate here.
(Interestingly, La mala educación, which, whilst being nowhere near Pedro Almodóvar's most explicit film and comfortably placed at 15, got NC-17 in the States. This is because the MPAA rate homosexual love scenes with a different yardstick to heterosexual ones, something that the BBFC, who treat all sex scenes equally, don't. Basically, the MPAA be hella homophobic).
The reason Blue Valentine and Monster's Ball had their sex scenes rated 15 despite being quite long and featuring mechanical thrusting motions, is, as argued by the BBFC in their podcasts, the crucialness they play to the plot of the films, as well as both movies featuring sex in the framework of a loving relationship.
It is for this reason that the BBFC are stricter on group sex scenes, even if the detail is minimal. The last Lindsay Lohan movie I saw, the 18-rated The Canyons, contained a ménage à quatre scene, but although there were some impressions of what was going on, it was so dimly lit that all you saw were shadowy movement. Because the shapes were so dark and vaguely made out, this group sex scene lacked the intimacy of something in, say, Blue Valentine. Similarly, Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cutwas rated 18 (the theatrical cut was a 15) due to one such scene, even though the BBFC's Irish counterpart, the IFCO, rated the Director's Cut a 15, and the Irish film board, whilst matching the majority of the BBFC's decisions, tend to be harsher with sex scenes overall. For example, some of the sex scenes that the BBFC allow at 12, the Irish rate 15. This tells me that the content of the Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cut scene couldn't have really been that strong, or else the Irish would have followed suit in rating it 18.
So the BBFC are more permissive than their Irish counterparts on sex overall, if it's within the framework of a couple doing it, whether it be man/woman [Never Let Me Go is a 15 in Ireland, 12 here], man/man, or woman/woman [Black Swan is an 18 in Ireland]), but stricter on orgies. Fair enough, every film board is different and operates by their own protocol.
So, why, then, if a sex scene involving more than 2 people usually gets a film an 18 certificate, was Sausage Party a 15?!?!?!?!?!
I lost count of the amount of members of the supermarket foods orgy scene, but there were a hell of a lot more people involved than just 2, and the detail was graphic, there was no ambiguity about what was going on, and the mechanical detail, in terms of sexual outlets was crude and nasty.
I was traumatised by that scene. The audience around me loved it, laughing their heads off at every frame, but honestly, I just thought it was tacky. And like I've said before, it's hardly like I'm epitome of highbrow; I usually find crude humour hilarious. But this was too much. And definitely too much for a 15 certificate.
I know the BBFC will just say that 'oh but it was with animated foods, it's not like it's humans' , but these foods are given anthropomorphic (foodthropomorphic?) qualities, so that argument doesn't really wash with me. They had arms, legs, faces, voices, and quite clearly, sexual libidos. To palm the explicitness of that sex scene off as 15-material just because they were cartoon sausages and buns is irresponsible, and irresponsible is not a word I often throw at the BBFC [I usually think they're too cautious].
Long post was long, I know. But Sausage Partyshould not have been a goddamn 15. I'm sure Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg would have embraced the 18 certificate had they been given it, and taken it as a badge of honour in terms of what it said about the film's filth. Because it was filth, and 15-17 years old should not have been allowed to see it.
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maybe I just wrote all this because I watched Sausage Party almost exclusively for Jonah Hill (just like the cartoon pictured above), and the film was ultimately disappointing. Here's hoping that Kubo and the 2 Strings, which I'm watching tomorrow for Rooney Mara, won't follow in SP's crappy footsteps.
Disney Pixar have made some incredible movies, several of which are in my personal top 100 movies list (such as Up, WALL-E and Inside Out.) Finding Nemo is my favourite of all of those; a film so beautiful and affecting that just hearing the track ‘Nemo Egg’ brings me to tears. Finding Nemo's message of the importance of family, and the lengths one will go to protect them, really struck emotional chords with me.
I was full of trepidation for the sequel, Finding Dory, a film which I thought really did not need to be made, full of Marlin-esque fear that, like he almost did in the first film, this pointless follow-up would cause me to "lose" Nemo.
(I picked this poster because the tagline is the T-shirt Margot Robbie wears as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad, which is out this Friday and I'm stoked for!!)
And, sad to say, my fears were realised. The issue with Finding Dory that troubled me was how artificial the conflict was: in one of his strops, Marlin says to Dory, “Go right over there and forget, Dory. That's what you do best.” Now, I get that people say things they don’t mean when their emotions get the best of them, but even in a fit of rage, you wouldn’t say something that hurtful to a friend, especially a friend who played no small role in getting your son back in the first film. People audibly gasped in the cinema when he said that, which illustrates that the writers overplayed their hand and misjudged the tone.
I feel like I’ve been criticising scripts left, right and centre this year (The Neon Demon was poorly written, that bad Chinese romance I watched had a bad script, yada yada yada), and probably, line-for-line, Finding Dory is no worse written than something like Despicable Me, a film I have quite a soft spot for. But in that one line, it just felt like the writers of the film realised they didn’t have enough for a feature length film, so had to manufacture some drama, in doing so, make Marlin make this harsh comment which was really out of character. Furthermore, as part in punishment for what he said, Nemo takes a rather annoying turn in this film as well, constantly chastising his father and acting bratty, which again, undercuts their father/son bond that the first film built so effectively.
Other elements of the screenplay that jarred were that weird, unfunny Sigourney Weaver onrunning joke (like, what? This is about fish, not aliens, so I didn’t even see the point of it), and the lazy characterisation of Hank, the seven-tentacled octopus. Stanton et al were obviously trying to place a ‘crusty old cynic’ character into the storyline, but that trope was employed to much better effect in the form of the mean restaurant critic in Ratatouille, because they explored why it was that he was so jaded. In Finding Dory they just shove a bad-tempered character in as a foil to Dory's good nature, but we already had Marlin for that.
This is predominantly why Finding Dory isn't fit to tie Toy Story 2's laces in the sequel stakes: in Toy Story 2, the writers both retained the central dynamic between Buzz and Woody, as their friendship, like Marlin and Dory's, is crucial to driving the plot and getting audience members connected to the characters and their plight. Furthmore, the characters introduced in Toy Story 2 were welcome and contributed to the quality of the film (I'm thinking of awesome cowgirl Jessie). This is definitely not the case in Finding Dory, where existing characters are hard done by in terms of character development, and new characters are downright superfluous.
This is epitomised in these two Cockney sea lions (voiced by Idris Elba and Dominic West; the film’s producers desperately trying to appease adult audiences with a The Wirereference, there) that felt like Pixar were trying to regain the belly laughs they had with the seagulls in Finding Nemo(rather than chant 'mine! Mine' the sealions chant 'off! Off!'), but it didn't work, especially as the way the two sea lions ganged up against a third, cross-eyed lion, felt borderline ableist.
The film's pedestrian plot (Dory finding her parents, who she suddenly remembers she'd lost) is given more emotional gravitas than it deserves by Thomas Newman's sensational score. The more eagle-eyed readers of my blog may remember that Finding Nemo features my favourite film score of all-time, so good that they often use excerpts of it on The Apprentice. The score for Finding Dory, whilst not quite as good as that (nothing ever will be), has to work twice as hard, given it is almost the only thing (along with Ellen DeGeneres voicework) that is selling this contrived story to us. The addition of a plaintive violin to highlight Dory's sense of isolation definitely contributed to the emotion of the film, and, as he did in The Shawshank Redemption, American Beautyand WALL-E, Newman deftly allows his music to accompany the plot without feeling intrusive. It's a travesty that this genius doesn't have an Oscar.
In isolation, Finding Doryisn’t a bad film at all. It’s got charm aplenty (baby!Dory with her massive purple eyes and high-pitched voice is absolutely a-dory-ble #IllGetMyCoat) and in terms of jokes-to-laughs ratio, it scores above your average cartoon. Plus I simply couldn't hate a film that gives two members of the Modern Family cast voice roles. But Pixar isn’t an “average” studio, and its predecessor most certainly not so. I’ll be kind and make like the good-natured heroine of this film and invoke her memoryless property in awarding my rating. If I were to grade it in comparison with the first film, my score would be dramatically lower.
Put it this way: as Sia's cover of 'Unforgettable' came on over the closing credits, I was hoping that Finding Dory would achieve quite the opposite in my mind.
I've been a long-time reader and admirer of Nathaniel's Hit Me With Your Best Shot series over at every film fan's Bible, The Film Experience, devouring all the entries from afar. The premise is simple: each week, a set movie is decided, and film bloggers present their favourite shot in the film, with their justification.
I thought I'd make like the protagonist Judy Hopps from this week's target, Zootopia, and take a step out of my comfort zone. Rather than just reading the articles, I thought I'd contribute with my entry, about my favourite scenes in Byron Howard, Rich Moore and Jared Bush's fabulous Disney cartoon, which remains, at my time of writing, my favourite 2016 cinematic release.
Because I have a lot of feels about this masterwork, I'll list not one, but five scenes, in descending order, just so I get to ramble on about Zootopia for longer. ❤️
SPOILERS FOLLOW, so don't read if you haven't seen Zootopia yet!!
Five: pirate DVDs
The pirate DVD scene tickled me for many reasons, mainly because I love allusions to other movies, trivia and Easter eggs, and this scene contained them aplenty. The bootleg DVDs that the shady Duke Weaselton is trying to flog are all plays on Disney movies, past and present: Pig Hero 6 (Big Hero 6), Wrangled (Tangled), Wreck-It Rhino (Wreck-It Ralph), and three upcoming movies: Mewana (Moana), Giraffic (Gigantic) and Floatzen 2 (Frozen 2).
Personally, I could not get enough of the Frozen allusions in Zootopia, and howled when cynical Chief Bogo at the ZPD tells Judy to "let it go". The knowing film and pop culture references littered throughout Zootopia really were a welcome treat!
In fact, even Duke Weaselton's name is a play on a character name from a previous Disney movie: the Duke of Weselton in Frozen. In a savvy bout of voice-casting, Alan Tudyk does the voice of both characters.
Four: now you're just milking it
Although Zootopia is Disney, and with Disney, I generally know to expect a reassuring outcome, I must admit they had me fooled briefly in this scene. The way Nick's fangs were bared and the malevolence in his green eyes, not to mention the apparent terror in Judy's eyes, made me think for a second he had genuinely turned wild and really was going to eat her.
But, fortunately, in a nod to the first scene of the film, where Judy as a child had put on a play extolling her well-intentioned but naive belief that any animal could be anything they wanted, the fox and the bunny were just acting. Our hero remained intact.
Three: Gideon's Redemption
This scene played well because of the resolution it offered something that had occurred at the start: in one of the film's few distressing scenes, child!Judy had been scratched by a school ground bully, a fox by the name of Gideon Grey. The way Gideon was drawn, clothed and voiced gave the impression he was an anthropomorphic version of the 'hillbilly' trope. Judy had felt the brunt of his claws because she had stepped in when her helpless friends had their tickets stolen by him. Gideon, having earlier been embarrassed publicly by Judy at the school play, obviously felt bad blood towards her, and decided to teach her a lesson.
In the scratching scene, the actual scratch was masked, but, as with another Disney movie Tangled, when the witch stabs Flynn below the screen, sometimes it's what you don't see that is even more haunting. Here, you just saw Gideon pounce at Judy, him swiping at something, and then two savage scratch marks. Surprisingly intense for Disney.
Fast forward 15 years, and Gideon has learnt the error of his ways. He's doing well for himself, as one of the top pastry chefs in the tri-burrows and even partners up with Judy's parents. He seeks out his one-time prey, explaining that he had 'a lot of self doubt, that manifested itself in unchecked rage and aggression', offering personally baked goodness as a peace offering.
I like this scene a lot, for two reasons. Firstly, it gives Judy some closure for a fairly traumatic experience that occurred at the start of the film. I felt better knowing she had received a genuine apology. And secondly, Gideon's seemingly simple ramblings about 'night howlers' offer our heroine, when she seems to be at pit bottom, a revelation that reignites her sleuth senses, just when she was all ready to give up on her dream of being a police officer. This story arc both propels the plot along, and accentuates the film's overarching message: that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, and anyone, no matter what shape or size, can achieve anything.
Two: Don't Know When to Quit
The aforementioned scratching scene did offer one ray of light: despite Judy getting wounded, she achieved what she came for: recovering her friends' tickets. This illustrates her resourcefulness and never-say-die spirit that may infuriate jaded co-workers, but makes her a tremendous heroine and a character female Disney fans can really look up to, regardless of species.
Judy's determination and grit in the face of man other characters who instantly judge her to be too small, too cute, too weak to be a police officer, carry her throughout the movie. Along with Kate McKinnon in Ghostbusters, she represents my choice for #MovieCharacterGoalz of 2016.
One: Dumb Bunny
2016 is the year of the Odd Couples solving mysteries. In The Nice Guys, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe must put personality differences aside to investigate a missing actress. In Central Intelligence, big Dwayne Johnson and little Kevin Hart have to retrieve a USB stick. In Grimsby, sloppy Sacha Baron Cohen and slick Mark Strong have to team up to save the world. I could go on (I mean, Kevin Hart's been in two odd couple movies this year alone).
In each of these cases, I have enjoyed the chemistry in the duos, and the way the characters play off each other; how they go from hating to loving each other. But this dynamic works the best between Judy and Nick in Zootopia.
The two get off on a ropey start, when Nick cons Judy into paying for a giant ice lolly which he later repackages and sells to others for profit. Things get worse before they get better, when she, playing the cunning fox at his own game, entraps him into helping her on a case, which she is desperate to crack, to prove her worth as a bonafide cop.
Gradually, over the process of cracking the case, the two build a rapport. Then rapport turns to trust, as Nick confides in Judy about why it is that he's so crusty (the flashback sequence in which this occurs was even more upsetting than the scratching scene; I'm not ashamed to say I cried). But Judy, in all her well-intentioned loquaciousness, dubs predators as 'primitive savages' at a press conference, in doing so, revealing some subconscious prejudices of her own. Their friendship is shattered as a result.
In this scene above, Judy begs for Nick's forgiveness. Ginnifer Goodwin, who delivers some exceptional voice-acting in this movie, really shines in this scene, delivering a monologue embedded with regret, sorrow and pathos. Jason Bateman, equally as good, imbues Nick with good-natured cheekiness and playfulness.
I mentioned that Judy was a great role model for girls, and I think the fact that she isn't infallible, and committed this mistake, makes her more appeasing. Because like Judy, humans, too, are flawed. We all make mistakes, some of them colossal. Nick recognises this, and forgives her. But not before a bit of payback: recording her admitting that she 'really is just a dumb bunny'.
The shot above encapsulates everything about Judy and Nick's friendship that made Zootopia such a delightful movie. They bicker, they banter, but they've always got each others' backs. 🐺🐰
