10 Hottest Men in Film, 2013.

Happy Hump Day! I've been a bit lax with these lists of late, but, as we're entering the Christmas period, I thought I'd revisit these list series, to raise the temperature a bit!

The female version of the 2013 list is here!

10. Leonardo DiCaprio, The Great Gatsby

My Seven Favourite Songs from Disney Musicals

I’ve restricted the options to just songs from Disney musicals, as opposed to songs that appeared in Disney non-musicals, such as ‘When She Loved Me’ from Toy Story 2, otherwise it would have made a hard task even harder (I love ‘Le Festin’ from Ratatouille)!

07. Hellfire – The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

A left-field shout, given the crux of this song is about the sexual frustration a pious priest feels towards the beguiling gypsy Esmeralda. But I had to nominate Hellfire because it’s memorable, taboo, and tonally, so recherché (what other Disney film features the line ‘he made the Devil so much stronger than the man’?)

Essentially, the message of Hellfire is ‘if I can’t have her, no-one can’. It’s every possessive ex-boyfriend, immortalised in a Disney song, and fits in neatly with the plot, as dastard Claude Frollo’s unsatisfied urges are his motivation for a Domino effect that leads to Paris burning. The religious imagery employed in Hellfire only go to compound Frollo’s sense of sinful lust for a woman he both despises, yet will do anything to possess.

I like songs which shine a torch onto the hypocrisy of religion, and Hellfire offers an insight to this holier-than-thou priest’s mindset. Turns out, his thoughts aren’t so holy, and the choir-like vocals accompanying Frollo’s disturbing soliloquy underscores this irony nicely.

(On a slight film ratings tangent, the likes of fluffy Frozen and Tangled getting rated PG when The Hunchback of Notre Dame, by far one of their darkest films, was only a U, is mighty misleading. It ought to be at least a 12 for the creepy overtones in this song alone).

06. Prince Ali – Aladdin (1992)

My five favourite songs from FROZEN (2013).

A good musical has to have more than just one big marquee song. Frozen has several great ones, so I thought I’d do a top 5 of the ones that I liked the most. After all, it's a musical who's soundtrack I'm fairly well acquainted with, shall we say!

10 Fittest Ladies in Film, 2013.

I had a lot of fun screencap-and-gif-searching for this blog post! The top four, of which three women are in joint second place, has the highest calibre of beautiful women since I started posting this list!

10. Marine Vacth,  Jeune et Jolie 

My 10 Favourite Performances of 2013.

Making my way through the backlog, as promised. 2014's list and 2015's.

10. Bérénice Bejo, Le passé

09. Jonah Hill, The Wolf of Wall Street

(the bromance between these two gives me life! ❤️)

08. Melissa McCarthy, The Heat

07. Lindsay Lohan, The Canyons 

Lindsay got nominated for a Razzie(!!!!) for her performance here. Between that, and awarding Dakota Johnson 50 Shades of Grey last year, when both actresses did commendably with poorly written roles, I think it's safe to say the Razzies wouldn't be able to tell a good performance if it tied them up.

06. Rooney Mara, Side Effects 

She's so pretty. ❤️

05. Léa Seydoux, Blue is the Warmest Colour

Epic Blue is the Warmest Colour post incoming. You have been warned!

04. Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave

Thank God this amazing performance of earth-shattering pathos and deep complexity took home the Oscar, and in doing so, beating Jennifer Lawrence's unbearable hamming in a role she was several decades too young for, in American Hustle!

03. Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave 


02. Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street 

Every other film has stills but Wolf of Wall Street performers are allowed gifs. Because a photo doesn't capture the full comedy of Martin Scorsese's 3-hour unforgettable, profane, & absolutely hilarious vilification or celebration? of heady Wall Street financiers.

01. Adèle Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Colour

Will give Adèle and Léa the full attention and commendation they deserve in a future entry dedicated to this amazing movie. 

So, a French actress opening the 2013 list and a French actress closing it! Spoiler alert: when I do my favourite performances of 2012 list, a French actress will also (comfortably) be topping that list as well! Although, unfortunately, in that case, Jennifer Lawrence succeeded in stealing her Oscar. #NeverGettingOverIt

--

Breakdown by BBFC rating 
18: 5
15: 4
12A: 1

Chaps: 3
Chicks: 7

Recurring stars

Rooney Mara: 2nd in 2015 (for Carol)

Leonardo DiCaprio: 2nd in 2006 (for The Depahted; hi Scorsese!) and 9th (Blood Diamond) although that list was constructed a l-o-n-g time ago and would be subject to change, 2nd in 2010 (Shutter Island; another Scorsese collab!)

Jonah Hill: 3rd in 2014 (for 22 Jump Street)

Four Eyes.

Jonah Hill's character in The Wolf of Wall Street, Donnie Azoff, is my second favourite film character to compare myself to. First would obviously be Rosamund Pike's Amy Dunne in Gone Girl. (I see myself in Amazing Amy because one's a God Complex-ridden conniving bitch who you should cross at your peril. The other's a character in a David Fincher film).

Anyway, perhaps due to me having just watched my gorgeous French bae Antoine Griezmann score a brace against Germany in Euro 2016 (don't know if you heard, but I quite fancy that Griezmann chap), I thought of Valentines Day. Which made me think of 2014's Valentines' Day release, The Lego Movie, which was directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. They also directed 2014's 22 Jump Street which starred Jonah Hill, and that in turn got me thinking about his character, and performance in The Wolf of Wall Street. (We got there eventually). #tenuous

Jonah Hill's character in The Wolf of Wall Street wears some pretty prominently sized glasses, which Leonardo DiCaprio's Jordan himself notes are made of clear glass, and only worn so that Donnie can appear more 'waspish'. I share no such affectation; with short-sightedness of -5 in both eyes and astigmatisms, I don't wear mine for no fashion statement.

(Sidenote: I know Leonardo DiCaprio's protagonist in WoWS would be the favoured character to compare oneself to, given his sharp suits and getting to bed the stunning Margot Robbie. But experience with too many dude-bro clown guys who work in the City and erroneously think they possess an iota of Leo's élan, swagger, and luck with the ladies has made me rather averse to Jordan Belfort-type comparisons. They think they're Leo in The Wolf of Wall Street; I wish they'd see the same ending as Leo in Titanic. Also, I like to keep candles away from my nether regions, please and thanks).

However, you know what they say: when God closes a door, he opens a window. And when he blights this obnoxious girlie with terribad eyesight, he gives her an opportunity to emulate her second favourite obnoxious 18-rated film character.

As you know, I got new glasses recently, and I don't love this purple pair as much as I do my red ones. My main grievance with them is that due to the largeness of the frame, they accentuate the slittiness of my eyes, something I'd rather not draw attention to.

But on the bright side, the glasses are plastic and large, and thus, make me resemble this elegant anti-hero ever the more, particularly in this shot, where I can delude myself that me and Jonah are wearing one and the same pair.

Every cloud!

My 2014 Oscar Predictions.

No guts, no glory. I haven’t done this for a couple of years, so excuse the rustiness.

 

Best Picture
12 Years a Slave
Gravity
American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Nebraska
Saving Mr. Banks
Philomena
Her
Blue Jasmine
Frozen (there’s your wishful thinking)

 

 

 

Best Director
Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave
Alfonso Cuarón - Gravity
David O. Russell - American Hustle
Spike Jonze - Her
Paul Greengrass - Captain Phillips

 

Best Actor

Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave
Bruce Dern - Nebraska
Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Wolf of Wall Street
Robert Redford - All Is Lost

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock - Gravity
Judi Dench - Philomena
Emma Thompson - Saving Mr. Banks
Meryl Streep - August: Osage County

Best Supporting Actor
Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club
Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave
Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips
Bradley Cooper - American Hustle
Daniel Brühl - Rush

 

Best Supporting Actress
Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave
Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle
June Squibb - Nebraska
Oprah Winfrey - The Butler
Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine

 

Original Screenplay
American Hustle
Nebraska
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Blue Jasmine
 

Adapted Screenplay
12 Years a Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street
Captain Phillips
Philomena
Before Midnight

 

Foreign Language Film
The Great Beauty
The Hunt
The Broken Circle Breakdown
The Grandmaster
Omar
 

Documentary
The Act of Killing
Blackfish
Stories We Tell
Tim's Vermeer

The Armstrong Lie

Animated Film
Frozen
Monsters University
The Wind Rises
Despicable Me 2
Ernest & Célestine
 

Cinematography
Gravity
12 Years a Slave
The Grand Master
Inside Llewyn Davis
Captain Philips

 

Editing
Gravity
12 Years a Slave
Captain Phillips
The Wolf of Wall Street
Rush
 

Score
Gravity
12 Years a Slave
Saving Mr. Banks
Philomena
Frozen
 

Production Design
The Great Gatsby
12 Years a Slave
American Hustle
Gravity
Saving Mr. Banks
 

Costume Design
The Great Gatsby
12 Years a Slave
American Hustle
Saving Mr. Banks
The Invisible Woman
 

Original Song
Let It Go (Frozen)
Ordinary Love (Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom)
Young & Beautiful (The Great Gatsby)
Sweeter Than Fiction (One Chance)
The Moon Song (Her)
 

Visual Effects
Gravity
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Pacific Rim
Star Trek Into Darkness
Iron Man 3

 

Make Up and Hair
The Great Gatsby
The Lone Ranger
American Hustle
 

Sound Mixing
Gravity
Captain Phillips
Rush
Iron Man 3
All Is Lost

 

Sound Editing
Gravity
Captain Phillips
All Is Lost
Rush
Pacific Rim

Film review: BLUE JASMINE (Woody Allen, 2013)

Socialite Jasmine French (Cate Blanchett) had lived the charmed life in New York, married to a canny, popular financier husband (Alec Baldwin) in a huge mansion. However, her world came crumbling down when said husband was done for being a Ponzi scheme-running crook, and sent to prison. With no life skills, work experience or educational training of her own, she is forced to re-root to San Francisco, where her adopted sister Ginger (Sally Hawkins) lives. 

Album review: BANGERZ (Miley Cyrus)

Grabbing headlines for all manner of scandal or internet feud these days is Miley Cyrus, who seems to be on a personal race against time to shed her good-girl image of Hannah Montana. Critics across the field have slammed her for degrading herself, others have said she’s actually a feminist, some have branded her a demon with a tongue that runs stray. 

One thing’s for sure though: I would never have given her album a second thought if it hadn’t been for the attention that VMA performance garnered her. So my suspicion is that, for all the ostensible cringe, girl knows what she’s doing.

The album itself is actually a disappointment in the gossip stakes. Music-wise, she plays it safe in terms of her collaborating partners (Ludacris, Nelly, French Montana). It is notable that the Princess of Pop herself, Britney Spears, makes an appearance on the song SMS (Bangerz). 

Miss Spears herself has been in the public eye a fair share of the time, but one thing that Britney always excelled at throughout was the music. Miley’s got the headline-seeking down to a T, better than Britney herself. But the quality of her art still has some way to go.

The album opens with Adore You, a lethargic piece of schmaltz that fails to make much of an impact. It’s followed by We Can’t Stop, her smash hit single, and my pick for the highlight of the entire ensemble. With an effortless swagger, Miley advises her young following to “Remember only God can judge ya / Forget the haters 'cause somebody loves ya”, which could also been read as a prescription manual for how she is currently living her life. Unlike several of the other songs on Bangerz, the use of autotune actually suits the song and doesn’t feel excessive. It’s an easygoing, casually amoral tune that makes for fun to bop along to.

We Can’t Stop, however, doesn’t redeem the sheer volume of duds on the album. 4x4, which tries to amalgamate Cyrus’ country-music roots with her current RnB target market, plays like a hot mess of hoedown brawl with Nelly hollering “MOTHAFUCKAS” when he feels like it. I cringed throughout. 

SMS (Bangerz) is equally sloppy. Whilst I have nothing wrong with girls bragging about their promiscuity in music (hell, men have been doing it for years), Cyrus seems so keen to ram the “I CAN STRUT. I CAN FUQ WHOEVER I WANT. I HAVE LOTSA FUQ BUDDIES ON SPEED DIAL” message down our throats, that it just sounds a bit tryhard and desperate, again, hailing memories of that trffic VMA performance. And My Darlin' featuring Future, samples Ben E. King’s Stand By Me, with dire consequences.

The majority of the love songs on the album aren’t bad, to be fair to her. Wrecking Ball isclearly stealing from the formula Lana del Rey used in Off to the Races in how she’s singing about a destructive love with a bad man, with Lana’s version being far better, but it’s catchy and affecting enough in its own right. 

FU is my second favourite song on the album – you can feel vitriol and rage at an ex that I can completely sympathise with. Maybe You’re Right captures the whiney rage of breakup that I prefer in Taylor Swift songs, but it’s still listenable.

As a singer, I actually think Miley Cyrus is pretty talented. She holds her own in On My Own, a decent shout for female independence, and in Hands in the Air, an engaging RnB ditty, she exhibits her skill for warbling. The main problem with Bangerz, then, isn’t her voice. 

The problem is that these collection of songs – some good, some bad, some utterly horrific, doesn’t have a narrative thread; it all feels terribly disjointed. Does she wanna go all Destiny's Child and be an #IndependentWoman? Does she want to make a whole album about casual sex and how liberated it makes her? Or does she want to sing ballads about failed love? Like a child with ADD, Miley Cyrus seems to want to cover all bases at once. 

In the end, she covers none.

Personally, I prefer the songs where Cyrus tones it down and sings songs about doomed love, as I feel that plays well to her vocal range, and her background in acting suits her delivery of the more heartfelt, dramatic lines, which she belts out with excellent gusto. But she needs to pick a focus for her next outing. 

Bangerz currently plays as a chaotic mishmash of poorly-thought out tunes that may have sounded good in theory, but doesn’t quite work in practice. 

An example, perhaps, of art mirroring the artist’s life.

Grade: D

For more of my album reviews, click here.

Film review: LOVELACE (Rob Epstein, 2013)

Given the current furore over David Cameron’s proposal that we ban porn completely, the release of Lovelace, which charts the story of America’s most celebrated blue movie actress, could not have come at a more topical time. Starring Amanda Seyfried as the eponymous character, the film shows how she came to make porn movies, the ensuing glitterati that followed, before revealing how she was manhandled into it every step of the way, posing the question of just how “liberating” porn really is.

Linda Lovelace, real name Linda Boreman’s, beginnings are no different from many an American good-girl-gone-bad. Raised by a Bible-bashing mother (an unrecognisable Sharon Stone, commendably playing against type) and a meek, hardly there father, Linda’s only bouts of having fun are at her local roller-disco with best friend Patsy (the ever-lovely Juno Temple, adding another independent movie to her growing collection).

TV recap: THE APPRENTICE series 9 episode 7, CARAVANS

The contestants are woken up at 6am, told to pack an overnight bag and to meet Lord Sugar at the Tower of London. Jason, in true court jester form, insists that the only thing one needs to pack for an all-nighter is his big teddy. 

On the way to the Tower of London, Neil banters with Alex that hopefully it’s him going in the dungeon, an idea that I wouldn’t be averse to, if it sorts his bloody eyebrows out.

As it turns out, the location of Tower of London turns out to be quite tenuous link to this week’s task, which is to do with caravan holidays. The teams will go up to the Birmingham Motorhome and Caravan Show, where they will choose products to sell at the roadshow, one of which must be a high ticket item (ie a caravan). To rebalance the numbers in the teams, Lord Sugar moves Neil over to Evolve, so the teams each have 5 people in.

Film review: THE GREAT GATSBY (Baz Luhrmann, 2013)

Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire), a recent Yale graduate, moves into a small cottage on the west Egg of Long Island, next to the luxurious mansion of the enigmatic Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio), a man whom everyone seems to be talking about. He visits his cousin, Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan), and her husband Tom (Joel Edgerton), wherein he discovers that Tom is having an affair. 

Soon, he is acting as go-between for Daisy to have an affair as well when he sets up a re-acquaintance between Daisy and Gatsby, who, it turns out, were lost loves, a lost love that Gatsby will do anything to reclaim.

Based on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel, Luhrmann plays true to the story, but adds many of his signature flourishes. The parties Gatsby throws are more vivid and opulent than anything the book rendered, and the Jay-Z produced soundtrack contributes to the bombastic vibe of the film. Music features prominently in painting the tone of the film, and there are some inspired touches – Lana del Rey’s melancholy elegy “Will you still love me” captures the essence of Fitzgerald’s book, and I particularly liked the way the tune was played throughout at the key dramatic moments. “100$ bills”, a song by Jay-Z himself, is another good one, which features when Gatsby and Nick visit a clandestine club hidden behind a barbers, and it definitely adds to the MTV-style cool that Luhrmann does so well. 

Luhrmann has commandeered some movies with sensational soundtracks – Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge! come to mind, but featuring beautiful songs from Florence and the Machine, Beyonce (who collaborates with Andre 3000 on a chilling cover of Amy Winehouse's Back to Black), and The White Stripes, The Great Gatsby could just be his magnum opus in the aural stakes.

When F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote The Great Gatsby in 1925, it was his personal indictment of the American dream and the corruption and hedonism it evoked. Much of this is epitomised in the lead female, Daisy Buchanan, who stays with her rich husband despite him having multiple “sprees” which she knows about, having an affair of her own, and forgoing the love of her life when he was penniless. 

Carey Mulligan isn’t an actress I’m particularly fond of, but she does a solid job in one of the most thankless of female roles, albeit injecting Daisy with more depth than she perhaps merits. Apparently, Daisy Buchanan was partially modelled on Fitzgerald’s own wife, Zelda, so I think the idea is that for all her many flaws, we’re not supposed to see Daisy as the complete goldigger that she is. It is thanks to the gravitas of Mulligan’s performance that she halfway manages to convey that, albeit being a tad too serene.

As Nick, Tobey Maguire is the embodiment of an active narrator. In the novel, more actually happens to him; he dates Jordan Baker, the attractive celebrity golfer and Daisy’s confidante, but such is the time constriction of the film that that is more of a plot device than an actual plot development here. Maguire is admirable, and features some of that amicable goofy smile that he sported in his early stages of Peter Parker when he was learning the ropes as Spiderman. But the MVP of the performers in the film is, as with Django Unchained, Inception and various other films which I was disappointed with overall, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Robert Redford also tackled the famous Jay Gatsby role, but he seemed too mature for the role, and lacked one crucial element, optimism, in his performance. DiCaprio has that in spades, to the point where it exasperates the audience, and paints his character as a deluded sap, who would do anything for his lost love, even when she doesn’t deserve him. 

We, as the audience, share Nick’s frustration when, late on in the film, Gatsby accepts the blame for a pretty big error committed by Daisy, just because he doesn’t want her to get into trouble. It seemed pretty inconceivable when I read it in the book, but somehow, DiCaprio manages to make his hapless hopefulness seem believable.

The supporting cast are also good, with particular commendations having to go to Jason Clarke, who plays the perennial deadbeat, George Wilson with so much conviction that you really do feel for the fella. I also liked stage actress Elizabeth Debicki as Jordan, who featured the kind of languid poise that I pictured from her when reading the book. I was very surprised to discover after watching the film that Debicki was only 22 years old, as in the film she more than holds her own against the more seasoned auteurs.

I feel that the screenplay, whilst delivering pretty much all the action the novel had, scrimps on the message Fitzgerald was trying to convey. He meant it as a damning condemnation of the roaring 20s and particularly the “carelessness” that Tom and Daisy exhibit. Whilst this is still present in parts of Maguire’s voice-over, I feel that Luhrmann forgoes the deepness for storytelling. Which I can’t altogether fault him for, as storytelling is definitely his forte, but I just feel that perhaps there was so much style in The Great Gatsby that he forgot about the substance of his source material altogether.

For all the luscious cinematography, inspired costume design (loved the flapper dresses) and fantastic soundtrack, there was something lacking about Baz Luhrmann’s colouring of Fitzgerald’s novel. Despite the actors’ best efforts, the central romance simply wasn’t convincing enough for us to believe in it, meaning that, whilst The Great Gatsby was a wonderful cinematic experience, emotionally, it left me feeling as empty as one of Jay Gatsby’s parties.

5/10

 For more of my film reviews, click here.

Film review: SIDE EFFECTS (Steven Soderbergh, 2013)

Emily Taylor (Rooney Mara) has been waiting for her husband Martin to be freed from prison for four years (he, played by Channing Tatum, was sent down for insider trading). After the day occurs and he is finally let out, however, she is taken over by spells of depression which culminates in her driving her car into a brick wall. This seeming cry of help is noticed by trendy clinical psychiatrist  Dr. Jonathan Banks (Jude Law). Dr. Banks allows her release from hospital on the proviso that she checks in with him a few times a week. 

Emma's girlcrushes, 2013.

I like to do a yearly update of this list, so I can trawl tumblr for beautiful ladies. Here was last year's list, in case you were wondering.

10. Miranda Kerr

A new entrant on the list, I've always been a fan of her angelic, baby-faced beauty, but she really turned my head when she wore a dress to the Golden Globes that had both a) a slit up the thigh and b) plunging cleavage. Fashion rules dictate that you should only really have one or the other, but Miranda Kerr is stunning enough to work it. She has a wonderful physique - they don't let out-of-shape girls be Victoria's Secret models, and has to adhere to a very strict diet to maintain it, rendering her the very epitome of "yummy mummy".

09. Rooney Mara

I'm watching Side Effects tonight, and Miss Mara is one of the main draws; I loved her arresting turn in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and really thought she deserved the Oscar above Streep. The first film I saw Rooney Mara in, The Social Network, she was pretty, but nothing traffic-stopping, but it was David Fincher's movie that made her notice her as an actress, and her gorgeous red carpet appearances promoting the film that made me realise she was also a rather tasty bit of eye candy, too.

08. Rihanna

So-called "feminist" Caitlin Moran likes to frequently feign concern for Rihanna, telling the Barbados singer that she needs to "wear a cardi" more. Frankly, I couldn't care less what Rihanna does or doesn't wear, and find Moran's stream of thinking it's in her control to tell either women what they should be wearing extremely patronizing. Anyway, I feel Rihanna is always unfairly overlooked as a singer and an artist - listen to the raw emotion on her voice as she belts out Love the Way You Lie; she's no autotone troll. The fact that she's sung many of my nightclub favourites and the effortless swagger she had in the What's My Name video as she strutted down the video means that she's pretty much my cool-ness icon.

07. Kristen Stewart

Poor Kristen got the worst time after she got caught last year, when the Twittersphere practically imploded on itself, with Twihards rushing to dub her a "trampire." It is extremely misogynistic to slut-shame a girl for having an affair, when men do it - and get praised for it - all the time. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing Kristen has to be sorry for is appearing in Snow White and the Huntsman, one of the dullest films I've seen in recent years. But then, a few months later, I watched her in On the Road and realised she was actually a rather accomplished actress, given the right roles. The fact that she proved to be a bit of a minx on the side, as far as I'm concerned, just adds to her allure, now.

06. Selena Gomez

Baby-faced Selena Gomez is the object of my wardrobe envy - everything she's sported at film premieres and public appearances, I've wanted. At 20, she still has the cheeks that served her so well as a Disney chick, but as she enters her twenties, she wants us to know that she's more than that, and hence her appearance on the risque-looking Spring Break, which, judging  from the trailers, she spends the entire movie in just a bikini. Hey, I'm certainly not complaining.

05. Mila Kunis

Mila Kunis had a very distinctive eye colour. It started out with one eye being brown and the other green, but with time the two colours converged to produce something that is the best of both worlds. She also has incredibly large eyes, a soft button nose and incredible legs and bum. Yeah, I just really like staring at her.

04. Frankie Sandford

A regular of the Top Three (where she has been comfortably for the last two years), I'm afraid I've had to bump Frankie down one place, simply because I just don't understand why she's still with that weed Wayne Bridge. As for the rest, she's stunning; possessing the most stunning abs ever, which she knows how to show off with a pretty belly bar, and the most infectious smile in The Saturdays. Gorgeous, gorgeous girl.

03. Kaya Scodelario

Kaya simply gets sexier with age. And, bearing in mind that she already had the vamp factor pretty much up to a maximum as Effy in Skins, is really saying something. So attractive that she's frequently cast as the femme fatale in music videos (She Said, Stay Too Long, Candy), she's learn to work the ice queen schtick so well that it feels like a second skin. Soft, round grey eyes that I could stare at all day, the figure of a model and a range of hairstyles that bring out her best features, she is quite the stunner.

02. Dianna Agron

Glee is a mess these days. Honestly, I have no idea why I continue  watching, each episode just leaves me banging my head against the desk. But on the rare occasions when Quinn pops up, I do feel that my perseverance is rewarded. Dianna Agron is responsible for what remains, to this day, my favourite Glee cover (the "I Feel Pretty/Unpretty" mashup), and her dulcet tunes suit my ears like a bee to honey. A twist on the classic blonde beauty look, Miss Agron has amber eyes instead of blue eyes, but this unusual blend just adds to her aesthetic appeal.

01. Lana del Rey

Lana was at Anfield on Sunday, and given my thoughts on Liverpool Football Club, you'd think that would put me off her. No such thing. Despite the paltriness of her surroundings, the sight of Lana smiling her irresistible smile at the football ground had me grinning too. She's my favourite artist - my boyfriend and I cuddle to her songs all the time, and her keenness to use Lolita imagery throughout her songwriting simply adds to her vixenesque appeal. Luscious lips, hair that's full of volume and eyes as round and delicious as cherry pies, Lana remains the definitive girlcrush, Anfield or not.

First blog post of 2013...

Following on from my last blog post, I did indeed get a haircut. And... I don't like it.