Showing posts with label Jonah Hill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonah Hill. Show all posts

Monday, August 13, 2018

My Moneyball moment


Earlier this year, I had a job interview for a Finance role, wherein I had to give a pitch about myself. I found the task a little daunting (how does one sell themselves without sounding egotistical?), but I remembered one of the fundamental tenets of good film writing: show, don't tell.

Rather than tell my interviewers what I could do, I thought I'd show them. I said I had some experience with R, and put my money where my mouth was in the form of this graph:


So there you go: my very own "Jonah Hill in Moneyball" moment. And just like Hill's character convinced Brad Pitt with his expert understanding of baseball economics, I convinced my interviewers thanks to my graph of goals scored by Chelsea players!

And they say films don't teach you anything. ;)

Thursday, May 03, 2018

15 rated films with male-to-female usages of the c-word


This blog is rated 15 for implied very strong language and descriptions of domestic violence and brutality.

About twice a year, I’ll curiosity-watch a film purely because Mark Kermode has gone in on it in his reviews. Last year, I watched Ron Howard’s The Dilemma for this precise reason, and Kermode was right; it was a tonal mess with jokes that went down like a lead balloon.

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Statistical Analysis of Usage of My Odeon Limitless Card

I went on a 4-hour R course last year, and since then, I’ve just been fixated with adapting the code they gave us to draw pretty graphs with, in order to nerd out over my personal interests (chiefly, films and football).

This post will be much like the one I did six months ago when I analysed my film-watching habit of 2016 across all mediums, only here, I’m just analysing the 69 titles I saw on my Odeon Limitless card with some attempts at ~science behind the graphs I present.


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Don't Drunk Snapchat.

When I send Snapchats when I'm drunk, I usually end up saying shady things that I regret the next day.


In last night's case, I just reiterated something that I've been banging on about for a year now.

In an attempt to do something a bit adventurous with my hair, I tried curling it to look as glam as Rosamund Pike's did in the book launch scene in Gone Girl:


I daresay my hair didn't quite stay as it was meant to, aha.


Monday, January 30, 2017

Were the identities of the presenters of Best Actor & Actress at the SAGs yesterday a tell?

I got three out of five on my SAG predictions, which isn't very good. I should have predicted Denzel, given SAG have never awarded him, and they must have been keen to set that right. However, I am delighted I got that wrong, because I don't want to see Creepy Affleck run away with the award.

Given Brie Larson's rightly frosty response at the Golden Globes when she had to read Affleck's name out and hand him the trophy, I was wondering if the mere fact that she even bothered to show up at the SAGs to honour her presenting duties (as with the Golden Globes and Oscars, last year's winner of Best Actress presents the award to Best Actor) was a slight giveaway as to the recipient of the award. I'm guessing that she didn't want to show up, knowing she'd probably have to present to The Perv, but then SAG told her that she needn't worry, because it wasn't going to The Perv, but a talented, humble, amazing actor instead, and thus, Brie showed up after all?

Leonardo DiCaprio's capital in Hollywood is higher than Brie Larson's, so he can afford to Bye Felicia these events if all he's doing is reading out the name of someone and handing them a blue statue. SAG's interesting choice for his replacement, his Wolf of Wall Street co-star Jonah Hill, also got me thinking if JH knew in advance who the winner was.

(Speaking of Jonah and SAG, remember when he took the SAG minimum wage of $60,000 for WoWS, just so he could work with Marty? I also love how he deputised for Leo at the SAGs like Donnie was Jordan's de facto stand-in in the film XD)

Jonah Hill starred opposite Emma Stone in her first film role, Superbad, where she played the object of his affections, and their reunion yesterday when he announced her name was totally adorable. He looked ecstatic for her, and the way he screamed 'Emma Stone La La Land' when he read it out was freaking adorable!
Find you someone who looks at you the way Jonah Hill looks at Emma Stone 😻

Even though I will never stop being salty about the yellowface thing, even I have to admit Emma Stone gave it her all in La La Land, and, acting-wise, at least, it was an irresistibly charming performance. She was by far the best thing about LLL, and never in her wildest dreams could prissy Emma Watson have given that performance. There were moments when I got lost in Stone’s massive eyes, Bambi's in size and sea-green in colour and her rendition of 'Audition (Here's to the Fools Who Dream)' was spectacular. Much worse performances have won the Best Actress Oscar (hi Jennifer Lawrence), so I've made my peace with her winning.

I'm pretty pleased with the SAG results yesterday, three of the four film acting awards going to people of colour is incredible!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Some BBFC nerdiness at the Oscar nominations.


Hey Em, don't make it sad. Take a shite batch of Oscar nominations and make it better! With BBFC stats and shiz, of course.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Review of the 133 films I watched in 2016 [with BBFC analysis]

I’m slowly going through my review of 2016 releases, one blog post per week (backlog: un et deux). As I still have quite a lot of the 2016 awards-nominated films to see and thus don't want to complete my 'review of the year' without giving them a chance first, I thought I’d buy some time by looking at all the films I watched in 2016, not just the ones that were released that year.

I watched 133 films in total last year, in a mixture of mediums, from at the cinema (my Cineworld Unlimited and Odeon Unlimited cards have both recouped their charges), at the cinema with ISENSE, whatever that is, on DVD, on the TV, on Netflix and Amazon Prime, and a few other mediums that I shan’t detail.

The arithmetic mean for the 133 films I gave out of ten was 6.54, which unfortunately shows some erroneous decision-making on my part, given I generally only watch a film if I expect it to be 7/10 in quality.

However, the appearance of a couple of lesser-seen films with my favourite actresses in, Saoirse Ronan and Rooney Mara, on Netflix, including a couple of real stinkers (Lost River, Dream Boy, Dare, Trash), would have no doubt bought this average down. Plus, while catching up with the 2015 Oscar-contention films, there were a handful which I didn’t think were that great, but watched for the sake of completeness (eg The Revenant and The Big Short), so they, too, would have skewed the average.

I recently went on an R course, so here be three graphs that indulge my statistical fascination with films (and the BBFC in particular).

Monday, December 12, 2016

2017 Golden Globe nominations!

Here be the 2017 Golden Globe nominations, announced earlier today! As I haven't seen the majority of the films yet, I shall just post the lists unless I have something of value to say XD



Best Picture, Drama 
Hacksaw Ridge
Hell or High Water
Lion
Manchester by the Sea
Moonlight
Where on earth is Arrival? No way is Mel Gibson's tedious-looking Hacksaw Ridge more deserving of a Best Pic nomination than the beautiful sci-fi movie! I'm glad to see Hell or High Water get some love, tho.


Best Picture, Comedy or Musical 
20th Century Women
Deadpool
Florence Foster Jenkins
La La Land
Sing Street
Of these, I've only seen Deadpool, which was solid (7/10), although comedies I rated higher this year include Zootopia, Cafe Society, War Dogs, The Hunt for the Wilderpeople, The Edge of Seventeen, Ghostbusters and Love and Friendship, so I can't say I think it totally deserves its place on the list.

Best Director 
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea

I'm not convinced Tom Ford's ponderous brand of perfume commercial 'directing' in Nocturnal Animals was better than what Denis Villeneuve achieved on the other Amy Adams film, but there you go. I know I haven't seen Hacksaw Ridge but ew at that raging anti-semite Mel Gibson being recognised.


Best Actor, Drama 
Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
Joel Edgerton, Loving
Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
Denzel Washington, Fences
I haven't seen any of these titles yet, but Casey Affleck  has been absolutely decimating the competition in all the Critics Awards so far, so he's considered front-runner for Best Actor. Which is annoying as he groped a woman whilst she was asleep, but hey-ho, I guess Hollywood has short memories about sexpesting when you're white and your big brother does all the campaigning on your behalf, precluding you from looking thirsty.

(The irony of me complaining about a sibling showing off on their younger brother's behalf is a bit rich, given I'm constantly bragging about my brother's grades on Facebook, but not like me to be a hypocrite, now is it? *cough* have a go at Blahra Delevingne for using her father's connections to get into films when I didn't do a dissimilar thing to get on my MSc *cough*)



Best Actress, Drama 
Amy Adams, Arrival
Jessica Chastain, Miss Sloane
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Ruth Negga, Loving
Natalie Portman, Jackie

Yesss at Amy Adams getting nominated for the right movie. And yessss for her fellow redhead Jessica Chastain getting a nom; an Oscar nom is probably out of the question now, but it's nice to see Queen Jessica recognised somewhere! 

Isabelle Huppert has been slaying at the Critics Awards so far, and whilst the overlap between critics (who tend to favour arthouse, European performances) isn't identical with the Oscars and HPFA, their star-f_cking Hollywood counterparts, this nomination builds good momentum for Isabelle. I hope she wins the Oscar!!!!


Best Actor, Comedy 
Colin Farrell, The Lobster
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Hugh Grant, Florence Foster Jenkins
Jonah Hill, War Dogs
Ryan Reynolds, Deadpool

Ma boi Jonah Hill for War Dogs had me like ðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜ŽðŸ˜Ž

I've been trawling Oscarwatch websites and the dismay and shade at Hill getting nominated here has me trollfacing, so hard. He provoked a similar reaction when he got his second Oscar nomination for The Wolf of Wall Street, as if because he's rotund and a comedy man, he's not allowed to recognised for his acting performances???

My money is on 99% of the naysayers not even having seen War Dogs, because Hill was immense in it. His unsettling giggle and his portrayal of a self-aggrandising, jumped up prick was just so on point and I would know about self-aggrandisement. He fully deserves this nomination, haters gonna hate. SO PROUD OF JONAH!!!!


Best Actress, Comedy 
Annette Bening, 20th Century Women
Lily Collins, Rules Don't Apply
Hailee Steinfeld, The Edge of Seventeen
Emma Stone, La La Land
Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins

And so proud for young Hailee Steinfeld as well!!!!!! Hailee was snubbed of a Golden Globe nomination for her majestic turn in True Grit, although she eventually went on to get an Oscar nomination for that film, so it didn't harm her too much. I love her, she's in Taylor Swift's Bad Blood music video (along with another actress who I love and never discredit, Cara Delevingne) and she's a sick singer too; Love Myself needs to be everybody's masturbation anthem.



Plus Hailee was absolutely radiant in Edge of Seventeen, bringing empathy and pathos to a character who (on paper) was an absolute nightmare. Her expressive face just lit up the screen.

I hope Hailee wins this category, although that's very unlikely. Emma Stone will certainly be frontrunner for this award, not least because La La Land will win multiple categories at the Globes. I be hella petty and fangirlish; I don't want Emma Stone to win an Oscar until her Superbad co-star Jonah Hill wins his first. (also, she played a half-Asian in Aloha. Just sayin').



Best Supporting Actor 
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
Simon Helberg, Florence Foster Jenkins
Dev Patel, Lion
Aaron Taylor Johnson, Nocturnal Animals

I'm so happy ATJ got credit for Nocturnal Animals!! In all the other precursors so far, it's Michael Shannon who has been getting nominated for Supporting Actor, so the fact that the Golden Globes bucked the trend is both surprising and welcome. Aaron was creepy AF in Nocturnal Animals, what a transformation given he's quite the dish in real life. And I know this isn't related to his acting, but I just love that he took on his wife' surname.

Simon Helberg is ace on The Big Bang Theory as smarmy Howard, so it's nice to see he's transitioned to films well!


Best Supporting Actress
Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Nicole Kidman, Lion
Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea

Strong category. I haven't seen any of the performances yet, but currently in my personal Supporting Actress ballot, I have Viola Davis fifth (for Suicide Squad) and Michelle Williams sixth (for Certain Women), and these aren't even the films they're in awards contention in, so I'm sure  they'll bring a lot of gravitas to their nominated roles.


Best Screenplay 
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Tom Ford, Nocturnal Animals
Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water

Surprised to see Hell or High Water nominated, but very pleased about it. I'm not convinced about Nocturnal Animals' screenplay, as I was with the direction. It was just a pulpy revenge movie? A very sleek pulpy revenge movie, but a pulpy revenge movie nonetheless. Unless I'm missing something... Personally, I thought the best thing about the film were the performances (particularly ATJ).

Best Original Score 
Moonlight
La La Land
Arrival
Lion
Hidden Figures

Yay for Arrival! Jóhann Jóhannsson's ethereal score suited the vibe of the film perfectly.


Best Animated Feature Film 
Kubo and the Two Strings
Moana
My Life as a Zucchini
Sing
Zootopia 
Zootopia is currently my third favourite film of the year and Kubo and the Two Strings my sixth, so I would be happy with either winning.

Best Foreign Language Film 
Divines
Elle
Neruda
The Salesman
Toni Erdmann

No Handmaiden here, hmmm. But Elle, Neruda and Toni Erdmann, the latter which was named Sight and Sound magazine's top film of 2016, are high up on my to-see list.

A film I was surprised to see completely shut-out at the Golden Globes was Martin Scorsese's Silence. Here be a film poster of it I spotted yesterday:


Silence has its BBFC rating, by the way, 15 for 'strong violence, scenes of torture'. Which is actually tame by Scorsese's standards~~~~

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Review of five instant noodles



For me, one of the most memorable parts of Amy Dunne’s mordant ‘Cool Girl’ diatribe in Gone Girl was when she declared ‘because Cool Girls are above all, hot." This comment is delivered in relation to how she kills herself in order to stay a lithe, desirable size 2 (UK 6/8), to little appreciation from her perfidious husband, Nick.

Given that Amy is generally perceived to be a murderous psychopath, I probably shouldn’t pay this line too much heed, but for some reason, it’s really resonated with me, and as such, I’m trying hard to watch my weight. 

The first step towards losing weight and eating healthier was to stop having so many lunches at McDonald’s. A substitute I explored was easy cook noodles, and thus, here are my thoughts on five different types I’ve sampled recently.

Morrisons BBQ Beef noodles 85g, 25p
There was nothing barbequey or beefy about the taste of this, I’m afraid. The noodles came out stale and tasteless, and even the liquid it was boiled in didn’t have any particular flavour. The very cheap price signals to me that this is predominantly marketed at students, although if students eat this before a night out, the lack of nutritional content means their stomachs will be insufficiently lined pre-heavy drinking, and it could well result in them chundering out their dinner. Considering how it purports to be one of the more filling of the four (total calories: 466, apparently), it doesn’t do what it says on the packaging. 2/10.

Morrisons Mild Curry flavour noodles, 85g, 25p
Gar. Another ghastly Morrisons creation. As with its predecessor, it has thin noodles that tasted of nothing and a sauce which didn’t taste remotely of curry (at least they spoke truth about the ‘mild’ part, mind). The mild curry flavour noodles purports to have 458 calories in the entire bag and it did make more of a dent on my hunger levels than the ‘meal’ from the day before, so I’ll give it +1 mark for that. 3/10.

Nissin Demae Ramen Spicy Noodles 100g, 45p
Unlike the two Morrisons travesties, the Nissin Demae Ramen noodles were deliciously thick and unrepentantly eggy. The sauce the pack yielded had flavour too! Whilst it wasn’t the burn-your-tongue-off levels of spiciness that the bright red packaging might lead you to think/dread, it was sufficiently hot to satiate my need for spiciness. What’s more, this bag came with a sachet of the sauce as well as sesame oil, which gave the meal a welcome kick. Plus, you’ve seen my cooking – you know how much I dig my oil. 8/10.


Newgate instant snack shot noodles sweet and spicy 67g
This Lidl product weighs less than the three easy cook noodles I’ve appraised so far, and as such, is lower on calorific content. On the bright side, the dried flavouring that came in a sachet for those other three, which could lead to a slight mess, was embedded in the noodle here, meaning you could avoid any pouring mishaps. The noodles here came in a strange angular shape, and were even thinner than Morrisons ones, but had more noodle length to atone for it. After you’ve finished with the noodles, I’d recommend re-filling the bowl/mug with boiling hot water, because the solid flavouring is concentrated enough to make a nice brew out of it. Not that filling, but tastes good whilst it lasts. 7/10.

Ko-Lee Taste Sensation Classic Chicken flavour 85g, 28p
For just 3p more than the two disappointing Morrisons own brand noodles, you can get this in the same store, and it’s much more filling and appetising. As with the other Chinese-style noodles, the Nissin Demae, this also comes with a small sachet of sesame oil, as well as a pack of dried flavouring that far exceeds the quantity in any of the other four noodles assessed. The resulting liquid brew is a nice concoction for you to savour, which redeems the (once again, common to Morrisons) thin, bland-tasting noodles. 7/10.

Common to all of these five products was a real ease to use, as the names suggested. You're supposed to boil them over the hob, but I found putting half the amount in my Chelsea mug and applying hot water to it, as pictured below, was just as effective, and saved considerably on the washing up!


Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Half-birthday Top 5s of 2016 (so far).

It's my 26.5th birthday today, so I thought I'd list my top 5 of the dominant 'Oscar' categories as of now (having seen 42 titles). 

For the acting categories I'll try my best to be objective and list in order of 'best' rather than 'favourite'. For example, my favourite performance of the year so far is Jesse Eisenberg in Café Society because I identify with his character the most. He'll almost certainly make my 10 favourite performances of 2016 list, but I concede that it's not necessarily the best male lead acting performance of the year.

To further illustrate this point, in my favourite performances of 2015, I listed Domhnall Gleeson in The Revenant because he looked damn gorgeous with a ginger beard. But objectively, he was probably only the fourth best performance in that dull film after Leo, Tom Hardy and Will Poulter.

I'm doing these lists now so I can show my love to some actors who didn't necessarily appear in prestige pictures, as they might get bumped out of the top 5s when Oscar bait like La La Land and Fences drops. For example, Jena Malone in The Neon Demon, an excellent, arresting turn, wouldn't get near the Oscars, but it was so good it needs to be highlighted. And not just due to the shock of Johanna Mason from The Hunger Games romancing the dead, haha.

And obviously, top films are not so objective because those are just favourites, haha.


Film
01. A United Kingdom 
02. Zootropolis
03. Café Society 
04. Kubo and the Two Strings 
05. Hell or High Water 



Direction
01. Amma Asante, A United Kingdom
02. Travis Knight, Kubo and the Two Strings
03. Pedro Almodóvar, Julieta
04. Dan Trachtenberg, 10 Cloverfield Lane
05. Nicolas Pesce, The Eyes of My Mother



Actor, Leading Role
01. David Oyewolo, A United Kingdom
02. Chris Pine, Hell or High Water
03. Jesse Eisenberg, Café Society 
04. Jonah Hill, War Dogs
05. Miles Teller, War Dogs



Actress, Leading Role
01. Emily Blunt, The Girl on the Train
02. Adriana Ugarte, Julieta
03. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, 10 Cloverfield Lane
04. Rosamund Pike, A United Kingdom
05. Emma Suárez, Julieta



Actor, Supporting Role
01. Alden Ehrenreich, Hail, Caesar!
02. Ben Foster, Hell or High Water
03. John Goodman, 10 Cloverfield Lane
04. Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
05. Tom Bennett, David Brent: Life on the Road



Actress, Supporting Role
01. Kate McKinnon, Ghostbusters
02. Jena Malone, The Neon Demon
03. Viola Davis, Suicide Squad
04. Haley Bennett, Magnificent Seven
05. Kristen Stewart, Café Society 



Screenplay (adapted and original) because I CBA to google which were original and adapted and hence do separate categories for both, haha
01. Café Society 
02. War Dogs
03. Zootopia
04. Julieta
05. The Hunt for the Wilderpeople


I haven't watched enough big hitters to do the aural/visual categories, as the best scores and camerawork are usually in the films which aim high and have budgets to match. But yeah, that was that!

--

Because I'm a shady cow...


Worst Film
01. High-Rise my only 2/10 score of the year. What a load of bloated wank. Also, it should have been rated 18 because it was so unpleasant to watch.
02. The Boss
05. Absolutely Unfunny Fabulous

Worst Performances
01. Cara Delevingne, Suicide Squad this probably won't change at the end of the year
02. Kris Wu, So Young 2: Never Gone 
03. Ricky Gervais, David Brent: Life on the Road
04. Sienna Miller, High-Rise
05. Chris Pratt, Magnificent Seven

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Interesting BBFC Short Insights.

In case you thought I was done talking crap about the BBFC and Jonah Hill with my blog post on Saturday, you were quite mistaken, thank you very much.

Having the BBFC app installed on my phone means I can eat up commutes by entering my favourite film stars’ names into the search box and pedantically spot things that are amiss, such as:


I've never seen a U-rated film with strong language, just saying. Or just being a pedantic cnut. (It's not an 18-rated use of the c-word if you call yourself it).

A few other screenshots from the app I have sitting around on my phone feature short insight that was, for one reason or another, quite eye-watering:
Not everyday you see that in a line of insight!

The insight for Blue Velvet, which turns 30 this year, is a curious artefact because it shows how crucial it is to include an 'and' between the 'sex' and 'violence', else you'll get the first classification issue, something else altogether: sexual violence.

What's interesting about Blue Velvet's 18 certificate is that practically all the 18-rated content is due to Dennis Hopper's nightmarishly scary Frank Booth. He pillages, mutilates, rapes, and also, is the only character in the film to utter the f-word. And he says it a lot, especially when someone asks for an alcoholic beverage he doesn't agree with. (Spoiler alert: he's not a fan of this drink).

Although I despise this pretentious film, (it's in my bottom 10 of all-time), I think Hopper was absolutely magnificent as Frank Booth, giving an iconic performance as one of the most memorable movie villains of all time. 

I mean, you can see why I identify with him: one's a foul-mouthed, perverted psychopath.

The other's a figment of David Lynch's imagination.

Continuing with BBFC short insights of films in my bottom 10 of all time; this Bible-bashing movie be my second most despised film ever, second only to American Hustle

It was bloated and boring A F, and the BBFC aren't wrong with their short insight. It certainly does contain potentially dangerous behaviour: you could potentially fall asleep from boredom and never wake up as a result of watching this snorefest.


On the topic of 'potentially dangerous behaviour' as a classification issue, The Secret World of Alex Mack, which is a kid's show, getting a 15 might seem odd, especially as it has a GP (the olden version of the PG) from the MPAA. I haven't seen this show but given it's about a kid for kids, I'd imagine PG is correct, generally.

But the BBFC have one issue of contention which gets them extremely anxious and trigger-happy to up-rate, that doesn't seem to be shared with other viewing boards across the world, and that's the perilous practice of a child hiding in a tumble dryer, particularly if such an act isn't demonstrated to have negative consequences.

That's precisely why this show's a 15 (I only know this from reading around). Because Alex does exactly that in one of the episodes and the action is not only presented to be dangerous, but fun and whimsical. An impressionable kid watching this might draw the wrong conclusions from watching Alex do so and try it out from themselves.

On several of the BBFC podcasts, they've discussed how every year, some children crawl into tumble driers, their parents don't know they're in there, and the kid dies. It's not a high proportion of children, but still, a life is still a life, and as such, I completely empathise with the BBFC's justification for rating a kid's show with PG content 15. They're just being responsible. If only they exercised such responsibility when rating Sausage Party, isn't it.

There's a line between being being responsible and being a nanny-state, however. 18 for dangerous car stunts? Seems a bit harsh.

This is the extended insight for a movie called, Oliver, Stoned, which is an 18 purely for marijuana use.

This isn't just draconian but also inconsistent, given movies with some pretty graphic depictions of harder drugs have been passed 15 (off the top of my head, I'm thinking  CandyWild, War Dogs, Get Him to the Greek, but there's really loads of 15-rated titles with depictions of heroin or cocaine use).

It's only MJ in this movie and it got an 18! Evidently, the BBFC really don't like glamorisation of drugs, even soft ones.

This 18-rated film, a very good adaptation of my favourite novel, thoroughly earns its 18 certificate. The BBFC insight is detailed, bordering on spoilerish, though, no?


Another insight line that is detailed to the point of giving away the plot...

And again! With Nobody Knows and Cracks, I don't see why they couldn't have just used 'mature themes' in both instances.

Another short insight that is almost too prescriptive.


I'm not sure if this is more of a line of insight, or a value judgement about the quality of the film?! What one man may judge to be 'irresponsible behaviour' might seem like just good fun to a more immature individual like me.

As with Mr Bean's Holiday, this feels closer to a line you'd expect in a review rather than a description of what to expect in terms of content.

'Historical cigarette advertising', lol.


The last issue I'll talk about is a turn of phrase which, thanks to the BBFC's employment in short insights, I absolutely adore: 'emotional intensity'. I'm a fairly emotional person (I cried from beginning to end at Kubo and the Two Strings), so my default setting is 'mild emotional' intensity'...

.... although when I'm on the blob, this line is more accurate.

Not to be confused with Martin Scorsese's upcoming film, this is one extremely detailed and specific PG classification issue, eh?

'Drawings of explicit sex'. 😳


I started with a bit of BBFC bantz about one of my favourite actors, so, only fair I end with some banter about one of my least favourite actresses (if you can call her that).



This is at the Covent Garden Odeon, and suggests that some opportunist under-15 year old kids are trying to sneak in, or try their luck with fake IDs in order to see Suicide Squad.

They'd do well to pay heed to the BBFC rating for Suicide Squad, tbh. Film was traumatising.

Cara Delevingne's twerking still gives me nightmares.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Sausage Party should NOT have been rated 15!!

Urgh, Sausage Party.



I wasn't the biggest fan of this film (5/10 for me), which is somewhat surprising given I love crude, non-PC humour a la Family Guy, and the Hollywood cast behind it was eye-watering. But I found SP ludicrous, try-hard, thinking itself cleverer than it was, as well as committing the cardinal sin of comedies: being unfunny.

The dialogue, for starters, felt forced, like they were trying to beat some record for the amount of f-bombs in a movie. The screenwriters inserted 'f_ck' into almost every line of dialogue and as such, it lost its impact. It also led the script to feel somewhat clunky; contrast that to the swearing in Martin Scorsese movies. In some of his films, the curse words come thick and fast, but you buy it, because it feels organic, and part of the character and the way they speak. With SP it just felt like they were trying to be edgy.

I didn't laugh at many of the jokes. I thought the scope was too ambitious - trying to cover racism, religion, and analogising each race to foodstuffs (how utterly groundbreaking), as well as having an underlying story about sausages discovering the truth about what happens to them. The weird plunger who kept wanting to get revenge on Seth Rogen and Kristen Wiig's character was creepy A F, didn't like him.

But I'm not here to rant about Sausage Party. It's doing well for itself at the Box Office, and you can't begrudge Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg for that. What didn't do it for me, is clearly doing it for many other cinemagoers.

No, I'd like to discuss how on earth the BBFC gave Sausage Party a 15 certificate. There are two main classification issues that I thought should have taken it to an 18.

1. The male-to-female usage of the c-word
in the following discussion, when I refer to 'cnut', I'm actually talking about the word with the n and the u switched around.

The f-word itself is not enough to elevate a 15 to an 18, no matter how many times you say it. And you can actually say 'cnut' quite a few times in a 15-rated film (from the BBFC podcasts, I believe the record number of c-words you can say is seven or eight), depending on the context. 

But single uses of the c-word can lift it from a 15 to 18. I'm thinking of Sleeping Beauty, not the Disney classic, but a dark tale of a girl who lets men pay her to do whatever they want to her whilst she's asleep. There were three issues contributing to the 18 certificate there, but if you read the report I linked, one of them was an 18-rated use of the c-word, which was directed aggressively towards her whilst she's asleep. There's another such anatomical use of the c-word, directed from a man to a woman in François Ozon's similarly themed Jeune et Jolie, also an 18.

So the BBFC are pretty squeamish about male-to-female uses of the c-word, because of the misogynistic overtones, as well as the fact that men are generally taller and stronger than women, so the utterance of the c-word adds to an element of 'imbalance of power'. One episode of Californication was thus put up to 18 because a lady was called a 'f_cking cnut' by a drunk man because she accidentally bumped into him.

Similarly, one of the two issues that got Gone Girl its 18 rating was when Ben Affleck calls Rosamund Pike a 'f_cking cnut' repeatedly, to which she replies defiantly, 'I'm the cnut you married'.

Off the top of my head, one film which was passed 15 despite containing a male-to-female usage of the c-word is in Frank, when Domhnall Gleeson calls Maggie Gyllenhaal one. But that scene is resolved immediately in a comic manner to show that she hasn't taken offence, quite the opposite, it's turned her on, and in that case, the impact is greatly reduced.

Anyway, back to Sausage Party, which contained three uses of the c-word. Two of them were uttered by Edward Norton's bagel, and he's either referring to himself or another man, so they didn't bother me. His character has ongoing beef with a lavash called Kareem (Seth Rogen's laboured metaphor for the Israel/Palestine conflict), so one of the c-bombs was him calling Kareem that under his breath, pretty expected.

The third c-word, however, said near the start of the film, is delivered by Jonah Hill's sausage about Kristen Wiig's bun, after she's shown him up in front of everyone. He turns to Seth Rogen's sausage (Wiig's boyfriend in the film) and says 'Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cnut.'

Sidenote: we already know Jonah delivers the c-word with relish:


Given all the examples I've just given of films taken up to 18 because of male to female uses of the c-word, and what the BBFC repeatedly state themselves on their podcasts (which I have listened to over and over many a time on my commutes, how do you think I can just reel off examples off the top of my head?), a man screaming the c-word at a woman is likely to take the film up to an 18.

I get that Jonah's sausage didn't scream it in this scene, and he was also saying it about a woman rather than to her (although she was within earshot) but the matter of fact way in which he said it, the fact that misogynistic abuse was being played for laughs, meant that the BBFC should definitely have thought about the suitability of such language within a 15-rated framework.

2. The orgy scene
Firstly, I totally get that you can show quite a lot of sex in 15-rated films. Blue Valentine, Monster's Ball and Black Swan are held up by the BBFC as the upper bounds of sex that will be allowed in a 15; the former two flirted with the Kiss of Death rating, the NC-17 in the States, yet didn't even get the highest 18 certificate here.

(Interestingly, La mala educación, which, whilst being nowhere near Pedro Almodóvar's most explicit film and comfortably placed at 15, got NC-17 in the States. This is because the MPAA rate homosexual love scenes with a different yardstick to heterosexual ones, something that the BBFC, who treat all sex scenes equally, don't. Basically, the MPAA be hella homophobic).

The reason Blue Valentine and Monster's Ball had their sex scenes rated 15 despite being quite long and featuring mechanical thrusting motions, is, as argued by the BBFC in their podcasts, the crucialness they play to the plot of the films, as well as both movies featuring sex in the framework of a loving relationship.

It is for this reason that the BBFC are stricter on group sex scenes, even if the detail is minimal. The last Lindsay Lohan movie I saw, the 18-rated The Canyons, contained a ménage à quatre scene, but although there were some impressions of what was going on, it was so dimly lit that all you saw were shadowy movement. Because the shapes were so dark and vaguely made out, this group sex scene lacked the intimacy of something in, say, Blue Valentine.

Similarly, Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cut was rated 18 (the theatrical cut was a 15) due to one such scene, even though the BBFC's Irish counterpart, the IFCO, rated the Director's Cut a 15, and the Irish film board, whilst matching the majority of the BBFC's decisions, tend to be harsher with sex scenes overall. For example, some of the sex scenes that the BBFC allow at 12, the Irish rate 15. This tells me that the content of the Straight Outta Compton: Director's Cut scene couldn't have really been that strong, or else the Irish would have followed suit in rating it 18.

So the BBFC are more permissive than their Irish counterparts on sex overall, if it's within the framework of a couple doing it, whether it be man/woman [Never Let Me Go is a 15 in Ireland, 12 here], man/man, or woman/woman [Black Swan is an 18 in Ireland]), but stricter on orgies. Fair enough, every film board is different and operates by their own protocol.

So, why, then, if a sex scene involving more than 2 people usually gets a film an 18 certificate, was Sausage Party a 15?!?!?!?!?!

I lost count of the amount of members of the supermarket foods orgy scene, but there were a hell of a lot more people involved than just 2, and the detail was graphic, there was no ambiguity about what was going on, and the mechanical detail, in terms of sexual outlets was crude and nasty.

I was traumatised by that scene. The audience around me loved it, laughing their heads off at every frame, but honestly, I just thought it was tacky. And like I've said before, it's hardly like I'm epitome of highbrow; I usually find crude humour hilarious. But this was too much. And definitely too much for a 15 certificate.

I know the BBFC will just say that 'oh but it was with animated foods, it's not like it's humans' , but these foods are given anthropomorphic (foodthropomorphic?) qualities, so that argument doesn't really wash with me. They had arms, legs, faces, voices, and quite clearly, sexual libidos. To palm the explicitness of that sex scene off as 15-material just because they were cartoon sausages and buns is irresponsible, and irresponsible is not a word I often throw at the BBFC [I usually think they're too cautious].

Long post was long, I know. But Sausage Party should not have been a goddamn 15. I'm sure Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg would have embraced the 18 certificate had they been given it, and taken it as a badge of honour in terms of what it said about the film's filth. Because it was filth, and 15-17 years old should not have been allowed to see it.

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maybe I just wrote all this because I watched Sausage Party almost exclusively for Jonah Hill (just like the cartoon pictured above), and the film was ultimately disappointing. Here's hoping that Kubo and the 2 Strings, which I'm watching tomorrow for Rooney Mara, won't follow in SP's crappy footsteps.

Thursday, September 08, 2016

Restaurant review: BACCO RESTAURANT AND WINE BAR (Holborn)

Bacco is an extremely classy Italian restaurant that’s somewhat hidden in Holborn. One can’t help thinking that it would have the volume of clients it merits if it were located in trendy Shoreditch or Soho instead, but the fact that it wasn’t jam packed meant that people who visited benefited from almost exclusive service, something that would be unheard of in the better known London districts.

It’s worth hunting the location of Bacco out because the restaurant and wine bar, like Jonah Hill’s acting skills, is remarkably versatile: it can be visited for a romantic dinner, yet also represents a great avenue for a boozy night out with friends.



I had spaghetti bolognese and I’m genuinely not hyperbolising when I’m saying it was the best spag bol I’ve ever had! It put every other spag bol I’ve ever had to shame, especially the dross I had the misfortune of being served at Theo Randall, which, even though occurred five years ago, was so overpriced and disgusting that it’s etched into my memory. 

At a lot of restaurants in London you either get quality or quantity with your dishes and not both. Sadly it's just an artefact of visiting London restaurants; these places ride on their location. But my main here, pictured above, had both; diners are treated to a hearty amount of delicious cooking. The way the beef, chilli, cheese and spaghetti intertwined was heavenly, and whatever herbs the chefs used,  they really bought out the flavour of the meal.



The dessert was also fabulous, a tiramisu with a macaroon on the side. The macaroon wasn’t just there to look pretty, it tasted amazing, and gave the dessert an extra dimension. I loved that the tiramisu was intricately homemade, light-years ahead of the out-of-the-box crap Ravello tried to con punters with. Hilariously, both are about the same price. 

A white Russian washed my dinner down sumptuously, indicating that there is nothing Bacco does wrong.

The service from Bacco was efficient and the waiters were attentive, topping up my tap water as soon as the level fell slightly below the middle of the glass.

I have nothing but praise for this exceptional restaurant. It’s a tiny bit more than I usually pay for a dinner, but it’s definitely value for money. Check it out.

Grade: A