10 Most Attractive Women in a 2018 film

Previous years' eye candies, if you want to inspect my taste! The only constraint on the list is that it has to be someone from a film I've actually watched.

10. Alexandra Shipp, Love, Simon (new entrant)

OOTD: Once you go Hobbs, you don't go back

I always thought there was a certain élan that came with Hobbs dresses, perhaps, in part, because 'Hobbes' happens to be the surname of Miranda from Sex and the City, the high-powered, successful career lady of the show. So it was like, in wearing Hobbs dresses, I would, by extension, be having a bit of Miranda in me!

Dress: Hobbs

Necklace: a gift

Earrings: Christmas market stall

Glasses: Red or Dead

Jacket (to the side): United Colours of Benetton

Hopefully, in the future, I'll build up more supplies of gorgeous Hobbs dresses, so I can emulate the most intelligent Sex and the City character more!

Speaking of film/TV characters' influences on my sartorial choices, when I now go clothes shopping, I seek to emulate the styles of certain sharply-dressed women. Alicia Florrick from The Good Wife and Rachel Zane from Suits are the two at the top of my list.

And, having recently watched the enjoyably soapy A Simple Favour, I am absolutely living for Blake Lively in menswear...

Work wardrobe goals!!

My top 10 films of 2016 [10 to 6].

I know it took me long enough to compile this list, but I had to wait until Handmaiden got its UK release before I felt my 2016 list (going by US release dates in order to calibrate my list with all the bloggers I love) was well-researched enough.

Three films which ran Aquarius very close were Hell or High Water, Someone to Talk To and Certain Women. They would take 11-13 places on the list, naturally. 14th would go to Peter Berg's Patriots Day, mind, so you can take my recommendations with a pinch of salt.

10. Aquarius

10 Fittest Women in Film, 2016

I prefer Margot Robbie not covered in white facepaint and acting like a deranged loon, and Rooney Mara’s character in Lion was pure bleh, so neither of my go-to girlcrushes make it on this year’s list, bizarrely.

Obviously my list might differ slightly from your average bloke's, but I’m rating these ladies’ attractiveness with a female gaze [or so I like to think].

10. Felicity Jones, Rogue One

The Oscars and the Razzies for the BBFC, 2016

The Razzie shortlist was leaked and I see Cara Delevingne didn’t make the Worst Supporting actress shortlist, once again illustrating that the Razzies don’t deliver on their promise of honouring the worst of the year (which Blahra undoubtedly was), but instead, jumping on the bandwagon of critically panned films and knocking A-listers down a peg or two.

Anyway, I digress. I’m a massive BBFC nerd (you don’t say), and they release an Annual Report every June or so, and I love poring over it, because they discuss high-profile and contentious decisions at each age category. I’m just as fascinated as to why something’s a PG rather than a U as I am why something’s a 15 rather than an 18, and the equal exposure they give to all the ratings, as well as revealing which films got the most complaints each year, makes for fascinating reading.

That report is compiled by the BBFC, and I thought I’d do my own personal Razzies and Oscars of the BBFC for films that came out last year, just to add another dimension/point of view to BBFC reviews!

Before I discuss some decisions I strongly agreed (the Oscars) and disagreed (the Razzies), I will blather about some random thoughts which don’t fit into either category. My current eighth favourite film of 2016, High or High Water, was rated 15 for ‘strong language, violence, sex’. I have no qualms with the age rating, nor the first two classification issues. The ‘strong sex’ in question, however, gave me false hope; I was hoping it might feature dishy Chris Pine. Instead, it was his on-screen brother, played by Ben Foster, being ridden. Not the BBFC’s fault, I know, and says more about my dirty mind than their choice of lexicon. But I felt quite let down. 

At least the sex scene in Hell or High Water could be classified as strong, however brief it was. In 2016 I caught up with a couple of films that featured in awards season for the previous year, two of which were Wild Tales and 45 Years. Argentinian film Wild Tales was an anthology of six short films, wonderfully inventive and blackly comic. 45 Years, a film about a wife who discovers her husband’s secret in the week building up to their 45 year anniversary, was less gripping, but anchored by an amazing performance by Charlotte Rampling. Two completely disparate films, connected by one thing: their BBFC insight promised me strong sex. What strong sex?? I’ve seen raunchier 12s!

In terms of short insight which did deliver on what it said on the tin, the starkest case has to be, to this date, still the only 18-rated 2016 release that I’ve seen (although this will surely change with the release of foreign films Elle and The Handmaiden), The Neon Demon. Rated 18 for ‘strong bloody images, sexual assault, necrophilia’, no one could argue it didn’t have each and every one of those three articles. The last one, in particular, must have been the main reason the film obtained its adult certificate. Jena Malone’s acting in the scene in question was brilliant and I thoroughly commend her for her dedication for making that 18-rated scene so credible, however aberrant the act.

Now, onto the prizegivings!

The BBFC Oscars

My BBFC game (level 3)

Short insights with the word 'threat' in them.

I have no life.

Four recent releases that got a PG-13 in the States but a 15 here.

I was in Birmingham for a conference this week and saw two films there alone, thus making v.g. use of my Odeon Limitless card!

Having seen those two films (The Shallows, Lights Out), I’ve now seen four movies (those two and Nerve and Suicide Squad), all released fairly recently, that got rated a PG-13 by the MPAA and, rather than get the rating that is roughly equivalent over here, the 12A (which about 90% of US PG-13s get), they were slapped with the older sister rating, the 15.

I thought I’d be super-nerdy and discuss my thoughts on the BBFC’s decision to rate them 15, rather than the actual quality of films themselves.

Lights Out: 15 for strong supernatural threat, bloody images.

My verdict: 15.

Far from being one of the scariest 15s I’ve seen, but there were a lot of jump moments, some funny, but some very intense which would have been just a bit too terrifying for a 12A. The main antagonist was also too creepy in appearance for 12 year olds and under to stomach.

Nerve: 15 for risky imitable behaviour.

My verdict: 15.

The film portrays teenagers being egged on to do increasingly more daring and ill-advised things for money, and that fact that some of these really dangerous acts don’t have negative consequences (eg, lying on a train track as a train crosses, or driving a motorcycle at perilously high speeds without sight [Dave Franco in motorcycle gear tho. Swoon]) could potentially send out the wrong message to impressionable pre-teens, which the 12A rating would have allowed them watch. Thus, agreed with the BBFC on this one.

The Shallows: 15 for sustained threat, bloody injury detail

My verdict: 12A.

To paraphrase a defender’s protestations after his clumsy foul has led to conceding a penalty, ‘Never a 15!!!’ This survival movie, about a young Medical school dropout (Blake Lively, surprisingly decent) and her battle with an aggressive shark, felt more vaguely unsettling, rather than relentlessly frightening. There were some moments where her vs the shark felt a bit touch-and-go, but the focus on the resourcefulness of Lively’s character gave me faith that she wasn’t going to go down without a fight; I didn’t feel the threat really was ‘sustained’.

Also, the injury detail, whilst grisly, was no worse than what Matt Damon had to address in The Martian, a 12A.

Suicide Squad: 15 for sustained threat, moderate violence

My verdict: undecided.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy it got a 15, because it meant I got to enjoy Suicide Squad in relative peace (the cinema was full when I saw it because I watched it the day it was released to maximise the number of hits I’d get for my review for it. I’m cool like that).

But in terms of precedent, the 12A-rated 10 Cloverfield Lane made me a lot more nervous than this film did, and I also thought the tone of Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight was bleaker than Suicide Squad. Plus the BBFC rating for that 12A title featured ‘strong violence’, so if strong violence is allowed in a 12A (The Kite Runner, another 12A, has strong violence), then moderate violence shouldn’t be really flagged as a 15 category-defining issue, no? #pedanticChinawoman

On the other hand, I do think the scenes between Joker and Harley were a little disturbing, particularly when she voluntarily jumps into a vat of acid to pledge her love to him; the juxtaposition of Kehlani’s seductive vocals on ‘Gangster’ with the disquieting visuals perfectly capturing Harley's brainwashed mental state (Margot Robbie in glasses tho. Swoon). I guess Jared Leto’s Joker’s unhinged grin when he was torturing people contributed to the 15 certificate and may go someway to explaining why The Dark Knight wasn’t a 15 – Heath Ledger’s Joker committed acts of violence and murder, but those acts were more functional rather than Leto’s, who definitely had an element of relish to his acts.

So yeah, sitting on the fence on this one.

In conclusion, I fervently agree with the BBFC on two of their 15s, strongly disagree with one, and don’t know about the final one.

I previously mentioned 10 Cloverfield Lane; I’d like to highlight again that that was far too scary for a 12A (even if it did get a PG-13 in the States, but a lot of our 15-rated horrors are also PG-13, showing that the two certificates don’t directly align in the category of threat). Here is a film that definitely could have done with being one certificate higher; if any movie merits the ‘sustained threat’ rubric, it was 10 Cloverfield Lane, which filled me with dread from beginning to end.

Yet the BBFC, bafflingly, claimed the threat in 10 Cloverfield Lane was purely ‘moderate’. They also assigned ‘moderate threat’ to the 12A rating to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, somewhat laughably. Those two films were not at all comparable in the fear stakes.

The IFCO, the Irish film board, rated that a 15, as well as Suicide Squad, Lights Out and Nerve 15s, and The Shallows a 12A. Looks like me and the IFCO are in closer alignment when it comes to these five films!

Three film reviews: 127 HOURS (Danny Boyle, 2010), THE SOCIAL NETWORK (David Fincher, 2010) and THE TOWN (Ben Affleck, 2010)

Screening log 10/01/11-16/10/11

I watched three films this week, all 2010 releases, two set in Boston, one set in between a rock.

127 Hours (Danny Boyle, 2010)

You’ve seen the trailer, you’ve heard the hype, you know what it’s about. While I don't treat IMDb scores as gospel, the film received a notably high rating on the site, so truth be told, I expected more. Instead, I found 127 Hours to be fairly boring at points. What we have here is about 60 minutes of material dragged out into a cinema release with the help of some fancy digital effects. 

You know you love me wasting money on tat

Now, I'm usually quite a big fan of Miss Selfridge. My best friend Anna shops there and I think you'll all agree with me that she always looks amazing. That said, I couldn't help but feel cynical when I heard their blatant marketing plot of designing 8 outfits "inspired by gossip girl". The outfits aren't bad at all, but nor are they particularly characteristic of Serena, Blair, Jenny or Vanessa. Between those four girls, they cover the mumsy chic, sexy and sassy, rock chic and boho queen looks, so it's expected that any item of clothing will fit into one of those four style boxes somehow.




Nothing worth gossiping about  at all, I'm afraid.

To the cast of gossip girl:

wai so freaking gorgeous?

gossip girl stills.

xoxo

"You know you love me. gossip girl. xoxo"

I’ve been at a sleepover at a friend’s house for the past day and a bit, and she had the first five episodes of gossip girl downloaded, this American TV programme that “Manhattan’s elite” through their daily lives of school, boyfriends and partying. Based on the extremely popular novels by Cecily von Ziegesar, it revolves around Serena van der Woodsen, a former it girl and popular New York socialite who has been on hiatus for 6 months and returned to the city to be with her younger brother, who has just attempted suicide. However, coming back is never as easy as it seems, and she has more than a bit of explaining to do to her best friend Blair, whom she left without a goodbye. [The reason for Serena’s departure is revealed soon enough, don’t worry.]

gossip girl could be likened to The O.C. for several reasons - the protagonists are rich, almost numb with money, and for that it is initially quite difficult to connect with them. Josh Schwartz produced both. Blair, in particular (played well by Leighton Meester) is highly reminiscent of Summer in her early stages in The O.C., judging people purely by their riches and social status, and perfectly willing to use people for her own means. Serena is a lot more likeable, and Blake Lively (who played the besotted teenager on sports camp in The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants) plays her well. The supporting cast also include more than its fair share of attractive male stars, from the actors who play Nate, to Dan, to Serena’s younger brother (don’t know any of their names.)

To add to the eye candy, the clothes are an absolute feast. Here are kids who clearly know what colours are slimming and what not to wear, because in every frame of the show, everyone looks spectacular. The music is good too, with usages of “The Way I Am” from Timbaland and “Happy Ending” from Mika to contribute to the hip, happening style of the show.

But the icing on the cake is the narration from the eponymous gossip girl, an anonymous writer of a blog that dishes all the dirt on everyone in Manhattan. Voiced with a biting scathe by Veronica Mars’ Kristen Bell, you hold on to every word she says. And honestly, this show is everything an aspiring property-owner-in-Chelsea looks for, it has fashion, it has scandal, it has cute lads, and it even has moments of poignancy.

So, yeah. When this show gets aired in the UK, I recommend it. C’est très très chic!

Tags: gossip girl, blake lively, fashion, new york, class, haute couture.

And to end with, some icons for today.