Disney Pixar have made some incredible movies, several of which are in my personal top 100 movies list (such as Up, WALL-E and Inside Out.) Finding Nemo is my favourite of all of those; a film so beautiful and affecting that just hearing the track ‘Nemo Egg’ brings me to tears. Finding Nemo's message of the importance of family, and the lengths one will go to protect them, really struck emotional chords with me.
I was full of trepidation for the sequel, Finding Dory, a film which I thought really did not need to be made, full of Marlin-esque fear that, like he almost did in the first film, this pointless follow-up would cause me to "lose" Nemo.
(I picked this poster because the tagline is the T-shirt Margot Robbie wears as Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad, which is out this Friday and I'm stoked for!!)
And, sad to say, my fears were realised. The issue with Finding Dory that troubled me was how artificial the conflict was: in one of his strops, Marlin says to Dory, “Go right over there and forget, Dory. That's what you do best.” Now, I get that people say things they don’t mean when their emotions get the best of them, but even in a fit of rage, you wouldn’t say something that hurtful to a friend, especially a friend who played no small role in getting your son back in the first film. People audibly gasped in the cinema when he said that, which illustrates that the writers overplayed their hand and misjudged the tone.
I feel like I’ve been criticising scripts left, right and centre this year (The Neon Demon was poorly written, that bad Chinese romance I watched had a bad script, yada yada yada), and probably, line-for-line, Finding Dory is no worse written than something like Despicable Me, a film I have quite a soft spot for. But in that one line, it just felt like the writers of the film realised they didn’t have enough for a feature length film, so had to manufacture some drama, in doing so, make Marlin make this harsh comment which was really out of character. Furthermore, as part in punishment for what he said, Nemo takes a rather annoying turn in this film as well, constantly chastising his father and acting bratty, which again, undercuts their father/son bond that the first film built so effectively.
Other elements of the screenplay that jarred were that weird, unfunny Sigourney Weaver onrunning joke (like, what? This is about fish, not aliens, so I didn’t even see the point of it), and the lazy characterisation of Hank, the seven-tentacled octopus. Stanton et al were obviously trying to place a ‘crusty old cynic’ character into the storyline, but that trope was employed to much better effect in the form of the mean restaurant critic in Ratatouille, because they explored why it was that he was so jaded. In Finding Dory they just shove a bad-tempered character in as a foil to Dory's good nature, but we already had Marlin for that.
This is predominantly why Finding Dory isn't fit to tie Toy Story 2's laces in the sequel stakes: in Toy Story 2, the writers both retained the central dynamic between Buzz and Woody, as their friendship, like Marlin and Dory's, is crucial to driving the plot and getting audience members connected to the characters and their plight. Furthmore, the characters introduced in Toy Story 2 were welcome and contributed to the quality of the film (I'm thinking of awesome cowgirl Jessie). This is definitely not the case in Finding Dory, where existing characters are hard done by in terms of character development, and new characters are downright superfluous.
This is epitomised in these two Cockney sea lions (voiced by Idris Elba and Dominic West; the film’s producers desperately trying to appease adult audiences with a The Wirereference, there) that felt like Pixar were trying to regain the belly laughs they had with the seagulls in Finding Nemo(rather than chant 'mine! Mine' the sealions chant 'off! Off!'), but it didn't work, especially as the way the two sea lions ganged up against a third, cross-eyed lion, felt borderline ableist.
The film's pedestrian plot (Dory finding her parents, who she suddenly remembers she'd lost) is given more emotional gravitas than it deserves by Thomas Newman's sensational score. The more eagle-eyed readers of my blog may remember that Finding Nemo features my favourite film score of all-time, so good that they often use excerpts of it on The Apprentice. The score for Finding Dory, whilst not quite as good as that (nothing ever will be), has to work twice as hard, given it is almost the only thing (along with Ellen DeGeneres voicework) that is selling this contrived story to us. The addition of a plaintive violin to highlight Dory's sense of isolation definitely contributed to the emotion of the film, and, as he did in The Shawshank Redemption, American Beautyand WALL-E, Newman deftly allows his music to accompany the plot without feeling intrusive. It's a travesty that this genius doesn't have an Oscar.
In isolation, Finding Doryisn’t a bad film at all. It’s got charm aplenty (baby!Dory with her massive purple eyes and high-pitched voice is absolutely a-dory-ble #IllGetMyCoat) and in terms of jokes-to-laughs ratio, it scores above your average cartoon. Plus I simply couldn't hate a film that gives two members of the Modern Family cast voice roles. But Pixar isn’t an “average” studio, and its predecessor most certainly not so. I’ll be kind and make like the good-natured heroine of this film and invoke her memoryless property in awarding my rating. If I were to grade it in comparison with the first film, my score would be dramatically lower.
Put it this way: as Sia's cover of 'Unforgettable' came on over the closing credits, I was hoping that Finding Dory would achieve quite the opposite in my mind.
Oh, how I love the BGT. The over-usage of Requiem for a Dream music. The crazy acts. Simon’s bitchy comments. As entertainment, it is second to none.
We start with auditions in Manchester, where the first act, a Christine from Leeds dubs herself a “triple threat” – she intends on dancing, singing and playing an instrument. However, we soon see that she is using all three of those terms in the loosest possible sense when the music to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean comes on, and she a) moonwalks terribly, b) sings out of tune and out of time and c) merely shakes some castanets about. The fact that her ill-fitting sequined leggings and jacket make her resemble a Christmas bauble simply adds to the sheer incredulity of her performance. She’d said that she wanted to take over the world in five years, but on that performance, the only way she’ll achieve that is by blinding us all with her dodgy attire. The audience are unrelenting, shouting “Off! Off! Off!” and even Piers Morgan has it in him to make a joke, “I haven’t seen moon-walking that slow since Neil Armstrong.”
The dubious amalgamations of two performances in one continue with Sinead, who claims she can play the guitar whilst jumping on a pogo stick. As with the previous act, though, in trying to be groundbreaking and mixing two acts, she doesn’t get either one right. Then we get a 39-year-old man who says he’ll “body build” whilst singing, but his bodybuilding consists of lifting two puny little weights. Lame. Lastly, a woman named Tina tries to fuse fire and singing. In an embarrassing attempt to sex her act up, she removes her robe to remove nothing but her tatties underneath. Whilst is succeeds – Piers and Simon gives their yeses – I think it’s mortifying and that women should act their age.
The next act is both sickening (literally) and beguiling. A man has five coins laid out in front of him, and he swallows each one. After the first one’s been swallowed, we can actually hear the sound of the next coin hitting it, which proves to be an extremely disturbing sound. He then proceeds to chunder up four of the five coins, much to the shock of everyone. The icing on the cake, if you will, is when he swallows a billiard ball (yes, a billiard ball!), in order to get the final coin to come back up. It’s one of the most dangerous things I’ve ever seen and I still don’t know how he did it, but as I have no intentions of trying it myself, I’m happy not knowing. Such acts are extremely polarizing, but this one was just so crazy (plus, unlike the previous acts, he actually did it well), so the judges send him through. The Britain’s Got Talent sob story factor comes out when the dude explains how he came to swallowing coins – growing up in a children’s home, he did it to stop other kids from stealing his money. Whilst I’m usually quite wary of these types of stories, the idea of a child going to the extent of swallowing scabby coins just to save a bit of money does genuinely make me sad.
We leave Manchester and go to the London auditions. First up are Melissa & Laika. Melissa is the proud owner of Laika, who she claims is a guitar-playing dog. Only, it doesn’t quite end up like that. Melissa plays the guitar and sings. The dog, wearing a ridiculous hair band, just lounges on the stage. When asked why the dog isn’t playing, Melissa lamely tries to get the dog to strum the guitar. One crappy strum =/= playing the guitar.
The terrible attempts to try and get animals into acts continues. We get a pig that supposedly does tricks, but he runs off the stage as soon as the act begins. It’s pretty farcical, truth be told, especially how the pig so clearly scares Dec. Then there’s snail racing, which needless to say, is not the most titillating thing I’ve seen in my life. The acts have pictures stuck on them, and hilariously, the Ant and Dec snails seem to be mating. Next up is a girl, Louise Sinclair, and her horse. “Is it a boy or a girl?” Simon asks, before he checks for himself. Anyway, Louise’s act is to do gymnastics on her horse. Animal cruelty if you ask me. It’s boring and tepid and lacks any flavour, and naturally, she gets nos. Not the most talented bunch of animals by any stretch of the imagination.
Thankfully, the next act actually is a bit different. They are The Arrangement, a group of Sixth Form students. I’ll admit, when I first saw them, I didn’t think they were up to much. But they soon prove me wrong, with their classical renditions of Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling” then “Low” then Beyonce’s “If I Were a Boy”, which is not fashionable, but kinda works.
The best bit is at the end when it goes to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” because it’s the only time the orchestra show a bit of a life. The centrepiece of the performance is definitely the lad with the microphone, who I think is incredibly brave, and, whilst not the best singer in the world, has enough public school swagger and energy to carry it off. All three of the judges give their yeses, much to the delight of the audience. I really really enjoyed it, and can’t wait to see what The Arrangement do for next time. If they pick four totally new songs and the orchestra come to life a bit more, I could really love it. However, if they use the same four songs, then I’ll be quite bored.
Someone who’s got Lady Gaga’s style down with the platinum wig and extravagant clothing rather excites things, because the audience think it might actually be Lady Gaga. It turns out to be a man. And their performance is atrocious – just crappy parading about the stage, and the part where he tries to sing the part in French from “Bad Romance” brought to me another song title “Can’t Speak French”. “If we’ve got Lady Gaga, why do we need you?” demands Simon. Not for the first time, Piers, Amanda and the audience love the act, and Simon hates it. I’m with Simon. I love Lady Gaga, and watching a weird guy bastardise her isn’t my idea of talent.
As is the way with the show, there are equal amounts of sweet and sour, and the gymnasts who perform next are definitely sweet. Their act has epic classical music, and it takes a while to get started, but when it does, it spellbinds. Cartwheels. Lifting people up. Balancing. All synchronised. It’s very impressive. The precision and control is second to none. There’s a bit where the girls all do a synchronised backwards flip and no-one puts a foot out of place. Spinning, throwing, body turns. The linking between different sections in the act is fluid too. Best part – when a girl is used as a skipping rope and a lad jumps over her. SO good, you wouldn’t believe kids did that. I think I'm more impressed by acts if I've attempted the things they do so I know how hard it is, and, I was always terrible at gym, so to see them succeed so much spellbinds me. It gets 3 well-deserved yeses. To sum up Ant & Dec, “wow.”
To end on a high, we go back to Manchester auditions, wherein there is a Mr Christopher Stone, an accountant. In his introduction, WALL-E music is played. I recognise it, yeah? Anyway, he sings, and he has a beautiful baritone voice. What he also has, and is picked up by Simon, is a lack of conviction. “You’ve got to have a slight swagger” Simon notes, which makes me happy obviously, as swagger is one of my favourite words. Nonetheless, he gets three deserved yeses, and that is BGT for another week.
My 11-year-old brother Tom has a lol of a MSN profile, wherein he lists his favourite films as the likes of The Pink Panther II and Fantastic Mr Fox. However, a film choice he has there that I actually approve of is Up, the animation of 2009 that until today, I’d not actually seen. But you know what they say, good things come to those who wait. I’d waited long enough for Up, and it sure as hell was good enough.
2008 wasn't quite as golden for cinema as I'd hoped; there were lots of films that I had a whole lot of anticipation for, but turned out to be bitter disappointments. My taste in cinema also took a bizarre turn in 2008, in some senses, it became more pretentious (I upped the number of obscure movies I watched), but I also watched a whole lot more mainstream stuff. On the whole, sadly, I ended up watching a tonne o' crap. Here are ten films that I geniunely liked -
10. Step Up 2: The Streets Wait, wait, hear me out, people. I know this film was no masterpiece. The poor acting (Briana Evigan, the female lead, has a starring role in the upcoming straight-to-video outing S. Darko. Can't wait for it, should be hilarious), bland plot, predictable romance plot and general tackiness of this teen dance romp. In fact, had it not been for two things, this film cold easily find its way onto the other top 10. But those two things: the soundtrack and the dance sequences - render this film one of the most enjoyable, enthralling and entertaining films of the year. As the track Get 'Em flows to become Timbaland's Bounce, before changing to Killing in the Name by Rage Against the Machine and back to Bounce again, the cast of the film have a massive dance off in the rain, and it is a wonderfully constructed piece of cinema.
09. Forgetting Sarah Marshall It took two viewings of Forgetting Sarah Marshall for me to realise how much the film meant to me. The first time I saw it was a week after my 18th birthday, and I thought it OK, fairly amusing, but a nothing special piece of cinema. Fast forward eight months or so, and all sorts had happened in my life, not least me going through a similar ordeal to the film's protagonist. And in seeing myself in Jason Segel's hapless schmuck Peter, the film started striking emotional chords with me. Suddenly the film could do no wrong for me - I deeply enjoyed everything about it, from the crass sex jokes (I now ask every girl who sports a pearl necklace if they got it from their boyfriend), the tender romantic moments, Segel's comic timing, the various subplots, and best of all, Mila Kunis' standout turn as Rachel, the girl that shows Peter - and the viewers - that it's no use being hung up over someone who's not right for you, and that, in due time, you will find the right person.
08. Il Divo The best Italian political piece since The Conformist, Il Divo follows Guiseppe Andreotti's seventh term as Prime Minsiter. He's a ferocious man who believes the end justifies the means, and is willing to do the odd underhand thing (or nine) to achieve what he believes to be good in the long run. Technically very strong (Il Divo is scored, filmed and edited with a sort of grandeur appropriate to the film), it was the events in the film that caught my attention the most; they are completely unpredictable and kept me on my toes throughout. A little of the power of the film gets sadly lost in translation, but it still remains a compelling and deeply thought-provoking watch. Not that you can't, but keep an eye on the main character; Toni Servillo gives what is easily one of the finest performances of 2008, and, along with Pat Shortt for Garage, the best male lead.
07. Happy-Go-Lucky Also known as "the film that Sally Hawkins was robbed of an Oscar for", it stars Hawkins as the lovable Poppy, a primary school teacher living in North London who sees the good in everything and everybody. Her hyper bubbliness is considered irritating by the odd tit around her, not least her grumpy bigot of a driving instructor, Scott. The film focuses on various adventures of Poppy, whether it be in her profession as a primary school teacher, her dance classes, or her driving lessons with Scott, who is one sour grape she can't sweeten. Poppy might just be one of the best characters Mike Leigh has sculpted: she's lairy, a nutter, loving, sweet, very annoying, but with a heart of gold. With Hawkins winning our hearts in the lead, this film is every bit the light-hearted, occasionally moving, funny and bright film that Leigh intended it to be, at the same time ending things on a quietly melancholy, bittersweet note.
06. Man on Wire James Marsh's Oscar-winning documentary is all about one man: Philippe Petit, and his tightrope walking amazingness. Shot with a cinematographic flourish, the film contains old footage, interviews with all involved, re-enactments, all edited together beautifully. I can only dream of having as much spirit as Petit, though I'm proud to say that I probably match him in the madness stakes. He is the centrepiece of Man on Wire, and I found his crazy determination absolutely wonderful, a brilliant example of the power of dreams, and what we can achieve if we put our minds to it.
05. Bigga than Ben Peter Bradshaw was far from impressed by this one, but for me, this is my favourite film with the word "Ben" in it. The film charts two lads from Russia, dubbed "Moscow scum", who arrive in London, ready to make a bit of easy money. They soon realise that that is about as likely as Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio living out the American Dream in Revolutionary Road, so, with the aid of two alleys, they bung about uselessly, nicking stuff, ripping off banks, turning mobiles into dope and getting high. Shot on 16mm and produced by an independent company, Bigga than Ben is a cheap film, and it doesn't try to deny otherwise - just look at the chavvy title. But what it does offer is a non rose-tinted look at England's capital, suggesting it to be overrated and full of criminals, plus the film gradually conceding that no-one can survive on the life of crime forever, as witnessed when the realism kicks and one character becomes drug-addicted and things turn sour. And, amongst far too many films that have almost choked on its own self-importance, BTB is the most intentionally hilarious film of the year.
04. Somers Town The title of this film is a place in Camden Town, where Marek, a Polish immigrant, lives with his father. A spot of luck would have him meet Tomo, a lad from the usual "troubled background" that has run away from the Midlands. Together, they begin a curious friendship, as Tomo shows Marek the ropes, which involves petty theft, the odd errand-running, and lusting after a French waitress at their local cafe. Shot in a grainy black-and-white, it has the look of a docudrama, and what with the banal and funny things the boys get up to (one catching the other mid self-bung, exchanging fake replica Arsenal shirts), this is a humble piece from Shane Meadows, but a clever, charming coming-of-age pic at that. Turgoose and Jagiello, the two male leads, are both winning and engaging in their performances, which are by turn full of life and witty, yet full of sad undertones. Along with Bigga than Ben and Happy-Go-Lucky, Somers Town completes my trio of lovely films that make me pine for and remember the fugliness of London.
03. Eden Lake Jack O'Connell, who plays the chav-in-chief of Eden Lake, is currently on British TV screens, as Cook in Skins, this twatty knob who treats his friends like turd, acts out on a whim, and has no aim in life apart from to get pissed and stoned. His character in Eden Lake is ten times worse. Now imagine encountering him, and all his cronies, constantly terrorizing you as you were trying to have a nice weekend away with the boyfriend, because this is what happens to Kelly Reilly's Jenny in James Watkins' horror/realism piece. What really makes one shudder about Eden Lake (aside from the close-up scenes of sadistic violence) is how close to home it hits; everyone has crossed the road to avoid a bad encounter with a group of rowdy drunkards; what would come if those drunkards had noticed you crossing the road and started a fight? Kelly Reilly, our heroine, plays a brilliantly resourceful character who I was rooting for throughout, in the same way I was rooting for the chavs to gtfo and just die. But this is Nottingham, not Hollywood, and things don't quite work out like that. After all, those chavs were carrying knives.
02. Slumdog Millionaire Skins again, this time with the actor playing the group clown Anwar stepping into a complete different role: as love-struck Jamal, who goes on Indian Who Wants to Be a Millionaire to win the love of his childhood friend, Latika. If I remove my hormone-tinted-glasses, I'd have to say that, Dev Patel isn't all that good in it, but that doesn't matter, because the rest of the film more than redeems his occasionally wooden performance (and despite not troubling Oscar any time soon, he did what he had to do in his acting). We are told from the start that Jamal's adventure is in the stars, "it is written", but that doesn't make his adventure, and the flashbacks of his tumultuous and frequently lonely childhood any less compelling. The cross-cutting between the gameshow and how Jamal came to know the answers to the questions are absolutely inspired, and with many a visual flourish (Boyle makes subtle nods to many of his previous films) and an aurgasmic soundtrack (Paper Planes never sounded so good, but having the film start to O Saya and ending with Jai Ho is a sign of pure genius), Danny Boyle took me on one unforgettable voyage, charting from playing cricket in the slums, to running for their lives from a young age, witnessing one of their mates be blinded, as well as continually finding - but then losing the love of his life. The romance was simply the icing on an already very delicious cake; the kiss between Patel and Pinto felt so, so rewarding. The most deserving Best Picture winner this side of The Departed.
01. WALL-E No Country for Old Men, The Shawshank Redemption, 2001: a Space Odyssey, Spirited Away, Monster's Inc, Artificial Intelligence: AI and There Will Be Blood. These are just some of the films that I was reminded of when I watched Andrew Stanton's animated masterpiece. That is not to say he ripped these films off, simply that it has all the good qualities of previous outings in cinema, as well as sporting a fresh, new romantic storyline of its own. You know the story by now: lonely robot on desolate Earth finds love in another robot, a beautiful pod named Eve. I embarked on WALL-E's adventure with him; I was happy when he was, sad when he was, excited when he was, and fell for Eve just as much as he did. Along with the luscious visuals, Thomas Newman's score that fully evoked feelings of the intergalactic, and sensible yet serious plot about the disintegrating state of humanity due to pollution, this is a better animated film than 99% of those out there, and one of the finest romances to grace our screens.
If I get my work done in time, tomorrow it shall be my top 10 performances of 2008. :)
Right, I have an 8.15 lecture tomorrow so my immune system is not going to be happy about me staying up to type up my report, but hey, I’m doped up on Red Bull and still riding the Oscar high, so, pah!
< - Brad and Angie looking lovely. Luke and I were expecting them to be oh-so-smug today, but they seemed geniunely down to earth and affable.
(If you missed em, the Oscar winners are identical to my predictions bar one - I predicted Rourke and Penn won. So, a copy & paste job:
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Director: Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor: Sean Penn, Milk
Best Actress: Kate Winslet, The Reader
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Original Screenplay: Milk
Best Editing: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Cinematography: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Score: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Song: Jai Ho, Slumdog Millionaire
Best Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Costume: The Duchess
Best Make-Up: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Visual Effects: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Best Sound Mixing: Slumdog Millionaire
Best Sound Editing: The Dark Knight
Best Foreign Film: Departures
Best Animated Feature: Wall-E
Best Documentary: Man on Wire )
So. 1.15 am, I was sat in my good friend Luke’s bed watching Claudia Winkleman and Gok Wan talking through the fashion of the Oscar guests. As neither of us gets Sky Cinema, we’ve opted to watch the Oscars on a 4-inch stream thanks to Justin. Tv, which we connect up to the plasma screen TVs we get in our rooms, so it actually looks rather good.
Anyway, to start, I had to endure a bit of endless prattle from the three guests that Winkleman had on Sky: Stephanie Beacham, a mediocre British actress who only appears in shite like Bad Girls, and two other people. It was really rather mortifying.
But still. The 81st Academy Awards are in full swing, to the sound of giddy orchestral strings. Hugh Jackman comes on, laid back and jovial. He gives his obligatory Australia joke: “I’m an Australian that played an Australian in a film called Australia”, he declares proudly. Next comes a song outlining some of the main movies of 2008: Slumdog Millionaire: “I’m only here so I can phone a friend.” Next, Milk (spelt MILIK) and The Dark Knight get mildly ribbed, before Jackman stands behind a screen with five gaps for heads as he mimics Brad Pitt’s character aging backward in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. He then dons arm guards and does an impression of Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler and everyone has a good laugh. Anne Hathaway joins in with Jackman, and she has a very good set of pipes on her, hitting the high note well, and giving room for the amusing idea of Frost/Nixon slash. The stage looks sparkly and expensive, albeit a little garish with the countless crystal chandeliers dangling about like grapes on a vine.
The first category to be presented is Best Supporting Actres. There is a montage of previous Best Supporting Actress winners, before five of the winners – Whoopi Goldberg, Tilda Swinton, Eva Marie Saint, Goldie Hawn and Angelica Huston come on to each speak about each five of the Oscar nominated performances. For Penelope Cruz’s performance as Maria Elena, it is said that “emotionally we understand everything.” Whoopi Goldberg evokes good ol’ memories when she jokes, “It’s not easy being a nun”. Tilda Swinton irritates me. A lot.
The winner is… Penelope Cruz!! “This is gonna be longer than 45 seconds”, she warns the audience, and we share an appreciative chuckle. Firstly, she thanks Pedro Almodovar; rightly so, he is the one who believed in and loved her more than anyone else did, and wrote roles especially for her. Her speech is nice and she refers to art as a form of unity, before the six women walk off, side by side, a bit like a geriatric Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants + 2. I'm so, so proud of and happy for Penelope Cruz though. My favourite female supporting performance of 2007, Saoirse Ronan in Atonement, didn't win. My favourite female supporting performance of 2006, Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada wasn't even bunging nominated. This is a redemption of that.
“No lights, no sets, just the imagination of the screenwriters” says Hugh Jackman, as Tina Fey and Steve Martin come on to present Best Original Screenplay. “I’m Steve Martin”, says Steve Martin, to mild applause. “And I’m Tina Fey”, says the current hot thing Tina Fey, and riotous applause breaks out. Determined not to be outdone, Steve Martin reminds us again that he’s Steve Martin. “To write is to live forever,” they say, and the award goes to Milk, the screenwriter of which looks rather sexy, but not as hot as Dan Futterman, who, for 2005’s Capote, has got to be the sexiest Oscar-nominated screenwriter.
They stay on stage to give the award to Adapted Screenplay, which goes to Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire. Luke almost gave me a bunging heart attack, when Beaufoy’s name was announced, whilst I was in the middle of punching the air, he asked, “Oh, so Benjamin Button won then? Cool.” He say lulz in it, I needless to say, did not. Anyway, what I loved about this win was that we got a shot of Dev Patel going into Anwar mode from his seat, punching the air like a rowdy football fan, whilst Frieda Pinto tries to mimic him, and looking a bit awkward in the process.
Next up, it’s Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black, who present a montage of animated movies from 2008. Jack Black makes a rather tongue-in-cheek comment about how, despite him appearing in lotsa Dreamworks movies, it’s Pixar that’s worth putting the money on. “Creative seeds are sown in the oddest places” notes the winner, Wall-E director Andrew Stanton, who had been casted in Hello, Dolly! From a young age, hence stemming the appearance of the film in his animated film. Pure beauty, that.
The acoustics are woeful as Daniel Craig and Sarah Jessica Parker bung on. Art Direction goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, standard. They proceed to Costume, which goes to The Duchess. So far there have been some rather decent presenters this year, and I do believe that is down to there being a cutdown in the number of presenters due to multiple presentations.
Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried, the hotties of their movies in 2008, Twilight and Mamma Mia! respectively, come on to present a montage of romance in 2008. Between them, they relive the age-old plot involving complications of love, and I have a good whinge about the sorry state of my non-existent love life. The montage is quite lovely actually, it encompasses all the expected choices of Wall-E, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Australia, Sex and the City, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Milk, as well as some questionable choices: Revolutionary Road (romance? All they did was whine at each other), High School Musical 3 (puh-leaze) and the abomination that is 27 Dresses, but, mercifully, the montage ends on a shot of Wall-E and Eve, the couple of 2008 for me, their heads together, rendering it a worthy montage.
Cinematography next, and Natalie Portman comes on, wearing an OK pink number (I wasn’t particularly impressed but Luke practically bunged himself :P) and Ben Stiller sporting a greasy beard in a bizarre and not totally comprehensible Joaquin Phoenix guise. Natalie Portman looks awfully skinny. Slumdog Millionaire wins it, yay! The winner’s hair is a bit skanky. He thanks the Academy for Opening the door. Here is Stiller's Phoenix stint, btw, it's well random!
Jessica Biel comes on, which ends the run of the presenters all being A-listers. She self-importantly retells the mini-award show of Science and shite that she presented a few weeks ago and Luke and I tune out, choosing instead to bitch about the people in his flat.
After the break, we get Seth Rogen and James Franco sitting on a manky couch and watching some of the 2008 movies and lol’ing, thus marking the 2008 comedy montage. I am loving it, they laugh at all the parts from The Reader that I laughed at, as well as dubbing Robert Downey Jr in his Tropic Thunder guise as Barack Obama. They also laughed at Doubt. I do laughing at films that take themselves seriously. They also bastardise Take a Chance on Me when singing it, stoned, and mucking up the words, but it’s great fun. In a hilarious send up of the wrestling scenes from Thw Wrestler, Franco staples some dollar bills to Rogen’s face. Then, out of nowhere, the Saving Private Ryan cinematographer Janusz Kaminski pops up and joins them on the couch. Then we see the three of them on stage, as they present Best Live Action Short. At this point, the stream kept cutting in and out so I missed what was apparently Franco mis-prouncing the German directors name, and then laughing, but Stephanie Beacham bought it up later and had a right self-important go. Speaking of which, one of the two blokes on that Sky show comments how Philip Seymour Hoffman looks more and more like Alex Ferguson as his face reddens as the night goes on, and I feel rather disgusted that they would affiliate one of my favourite actors with my most despised football manager, even if they make a good point. But anyway, the moral of the story is that James Franco is beautiful, even more so in a black tux. I certainly would. Speaking of which, Dev Patel. Mmmm.
Hugh Jackman and Beyonce do a musical number. He’s got the swagger of a champion; think Richard Gere in Chicago meets Jim Broadbent in Moulin Rouge!. The two partake in a medley that encompasses songs ranging from You’re the One I Want, All that Jazz, Lady Marmalade, You Can’t Stop the Beat, Don’t Cry for Me Argentina, Somewhere over the Rainbow and Mamma Mia!. In between, America’s sweethearts Zach Efron & Vanessa Hudgens and Dominic Cooper (Luke remarks how much he looks like a Ian Huntley with that minging beard) & Amanda Seyfried make an appearance, but they don’t really add to or detract from the spectacle; it’s Beyonce and Hugh’s show, and they do a marvellous job.
Christopher Walken, Chris Kline, Alan Arkin, someone else and Cuba Gooding Jr come onstage. I feel bad for Gooding Jr, it can’t be easy, standing there with four men that actually have careers. He talks about Downey Jr’s performance, “let’s talk about taking risks, shall we?”, leading to a blank expression from Dev Patel in the audience, particularly when a Shaft joke is made. Anyway, introductions are made and the biggest lock of the night is awarded: Heath Ledger for Brokeback Mountain. It’s a terribly poignant moment when his family walk up and accept the award for him, though I did feel it rather extravagant and insincere for the cameramen to show all the clips of people in the audience staring up, teary-eyed as if they knew Heath, when deep down they were probably thinking “when is it my turn to be on stage?” But the last word of his sister’s speech is “Matilda”, reminding the world of the sad fact that here is one girl that is going to grow up without a father.
As the montage of the Oscar nominated documentaries runs, we here Philip Glass’ haunting score to The Hours in the background. Shame he plagiarized himself from his work on Metamorphosis for that film. Man on Wire wins, and Philippe Petit, the subject is beyond adorable, as he takes his golden statue and makes it bow to the audience. Daww.
Action montage next, then Will Smith comes onstage. He claims he likes his action films; I really wouldn’t have guesed. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button wins Visual Effects, as both me and Luke had predicted (so far, we are 100% on predictions). The Dark Knight then wins Best Sound Editing, marking the beginning of Luke getting one wrong and me getting one over him. About time too, I had my butt kicked by him when we predicted the BAFTAs. Smith then dubs the Sound Mixers: “the superheros of post-production”. If he sez so. Slumdog Millionaire wins, meaning I got both my Sound predictions right, and am still 100% right so far! Luke and I have a poncy discussion about the difference between Sound Editing and Sound and why The Dark Knight was right to win Sound Editing. And lastly, Will Smith presents the fourth award – Editing. A biggie, and Slumdog Millionaire gets it. Wey!
Halfway through Claudia Winkleman talking during the adverts of the Oscars, we cut to the Oscars again, this time, the Spanish guitar playing Moon River mellifluently as Hugh Jackman retells something Hepburn had said about the music to Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Then, my favourite part of the night arrives – the orchestra plays excerpts from all five of the nominated scores. It’s done in alphabetical order: Daisy’s Ballet Career from Benjamin Button, summink insubstantial from Defiance, the theme from Milk, and Define Dancing from Wall-E. At this point I get confused; if it’s alphabetical, I ask Luke, why is Slumdog coming last? The orchestra answers my question: Bollywood instruments are gotten out and start playing; it makes sense to have that last. The audience plays Latika’s Theme and it just sounds beautiful, memories of the 2006 Oscars and Itzhak Perlman sitting up there, playing a medley of Oscar nominated scores, ending on Brokeback Mountain’s The Wings fill my mind and I feel all nostalgic, not to mention a bit fearsome about what would happen if Slumdog crashed like Brokeback did.
Not to worry, for now, Score is Slumdog’s, and Bollywood’s Man-of-the-Moment AR Rahman comes on stage to deliver a massively gracious and thankful speech. This was just after Zach Efron and some bitch come on. This girl makes an awful, awful impression to me: she refers to Desplat as Alejandro Desplat, which half makes me want to slap her and half makes me want to laugh. They stay on stage to announce the nominees for Best Original Song, though not before the girl mucks that bit up too; she calls it Best Original Score again. Um, we just had that category, dear. Keep up!
Anyway, the three best Song nominees get the poorest airing I’ve ever seen. Sub-par is an understatement; this downright sucks. The drumming for O Saya sounds really good and AR Rahman has more than enough stage presence to deliver a rousing intro, but M.I.A. not being there means we don’t get the middle chunk of the song, which contains the lyrics that are so relevant to Slumdog Millionaire’s story. We then go into a performance of Down to Earth, not with Peter Gabriel, who revolted (the performances of the songs got cut down to a minute each and he wasn’t having any of it), but John Legend, who is fine, but the Bollywood dancers who were previously in pink sahris and dancing around to O Saya suddenly try to sway to Down to Earth and it is almost as much of a fail as the 43% I got for my recent exam. Finally, Jai Ho, which sounds OK, but a bit half-hearted and thus not doing any justice to the power of the song, before AR Rahman and John Legend have a sing-off, Jai Ho vs. Down to Earth, which sounds awful. I am very upset by this.
Luckily, AR Rahman’s second prize of the night for Jai Ho redeems this, and he seems completely moved and lost for words, just rooted to the spot and speaking mildly. He is made of pure win!
Reese Witherspoon comes on in a jewel encrusted dress to present Best Director. As predicted, it goes to Danny Boyle, who comes on and talks quickly and in a lively manner. “I reckon every person in the UK jumped up when he one” opines Claudia Winkleman later on the Sky Cinema show. Um, me and Luke didn’t. But yeah. Delighted he won.
For Best Actress, Sophia Loren, Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Shirley MacLaine and Halle Berry come on to the music of Gone with the Wind. Luke is more alert than me and notes that three of these women are in the upcoming Nine, which is directed by the director of this Oscar ceremony. Clever plugging! Furthermore, Nicole Kidman, being Luke’s favourite actress, nearly induces my dear friend to joygasm, whilst I just sit there, filing my nails. Shirley McLaine describes Anne Hathway’s performance, and puts a lovely smile on the face of Princess Mia. Sophia Loren looks a bit Jackie Stalloneesque. As everyone envisioned, Kate Winslet wins. She tells a cute story about how, when she was eight, she used to fantasize about winning the Oscar. “It’s not a shampoo bottle now!” she gushes, before telling Meryl Streep to suck on it. I wasn't paying attention to the rest of her speech (though she commendably managed to mention the fact that she's from Reading once), but I did like Angelina Jolie's green earrings a lot.
Immediately next is Best Actor. It’s a standing ovation for Michael Douglas, Robert de Niro, Adrian Brody, Anthony Hopkins and Ben Kingsley. All I can think about when I see the latter is his stunning performance as Don Logan in Sexy Beast and that hilarious “I’m sweatin’ like cunt!” line. Richard Jenkins’ performance is described as containing “simplicity”, which, interpreted in one way, could be calling him a thickie. But nah. Anyway, this is the only category I got wrong out of all my predictions, and, as both Luke and I expected Rourke to win, we were paying particular attention to him, and we say both Tina Fey and Dev Patel sitting behind him. But nah, Sean Penn wins, gives a great speech and everything, but all we were discussing was how absolutely gutted Rourke must have felt. The audience absolutely adore Penn, giving him a standing ovation, and he concedes "I make it hard to like me sometimes."
Steven Spielberg presents Best Film, and as he talks through each of the nominated films, Milk gets a massive cheer when mentioned, leading me to get fears about Slumdog getting screwed over last minute like BBM was. But no fear, it wins. Dev Patel gets his face on the screen. I smile contentedly, thinking how it was totally worth staying up tonight; to redeem myself against Luke for the thrashing I took last time we played predictions on the BAFTAs, to bitch about stars, to lol at various points of the ceremony, to view the spectacle, but most of all, see the lovely Slumdog Millionaire get the award it so deserves. As Kate Winslet told Meryl Streep, suck it, haters! Jai Ho, indeed.
1. Pick one film to represent each letter of the alphabet.
2. The letter "A" and the word "The" do not count as the beginning of a film's title, unless the film is simply titled A or The, and I don't know of any films with those titles.
3. Return of the Jedi belongs under "R," not "S" as in Star Wars Episode IV: Return of the Jedi. This rule applies to all films in the original Star Wars trilogy; all that followed start with "S." Similarly, Raiders of the Lost Ark belongs under "R," not "I" as in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Conversely, all films in the LOTR series belong under "L" and all films in the Chronicles of Narnia series belong under "C," as that's what those filmmakers called their films from the start. In other words, movies are stuck with the titles their owners gave them at the time of their theatrical release. Use your better judgement to apply the above rule to any series/films not mentioned.
4. Films that start with a number are filed under the first letter of their number's word. 12 Monkeys would be filed under "T."
5. Link back to Blog Cabins in your post so that I can eventually type "alphabet meme" into Google and come up #1, then make a post where I declare that I am the King of Google.
6. If you're selected, you have to then select 5 more people. The Apartment Brief Encounter The Closet Dead Man Walking Erin Brockovich The 400 Blows Grave of Fireflies The Hudsucker Proxy Intermezzo Jean de Florette Kind Hearts and Coronets Ladri di biciclette Manon des Sources Not one less On the Waterfront Pan’s Labyrinth Quills Rear Window The Shawshank Redemption Together Uncle Silas Volver Wall-E Xiao Wu Y Tu Mama Tambien Zummertime
I don’t really know who to tag, so bung, do this if you like. :)
- Do I detect a hint of snobbery? Pierce Brosnan wasn't brilliant in Mamma Mia! (his singing... no thanks!) but he didn't have to be, and I can produce a litany of Summer performances that were much more unintentionally funny than his: Keira & Sienna in The Edge of Love, Luke Goss in Hellboy 2, those two who can't stop bunging in The X-Files Movie, etc etc etc. - I'm not sure if the film came out in the States, but Somers Town was one of my favourite films of the year. At 75 minutes long, it was a bit of a rip-off where ticket prices are concerned, but the ease and subtlty at which Shane Meadows captured a friendship between two boys in North London was an absolute joy, not least in its own idiosyncracies (one boy gives the other a counterfeit Arsenal shirt with "Terry Henry" on the back).
- Don't think I would have The Dark Knight as the best film of the Summer. Whilst it had many, many amazing qualities and was highly entertaining and thrilling, Wall-E just did a bit more for me. I ♥ Wall-E.
01. My Neighbour Totoro An initial flop in Japan, people slowly came round to loving My Neighbour Totoro. It tells the story of two sisters, Satsuki and Mei, 11 and 5 respectively, who move to the countryside for the health of their sick mother. Their house is near a forest, and soon they’re encountering mysterious and intriguing woodland creatures. These woodland creatures are utterly adorable and so, well… cute. And even though the film is very innocent, devoid of any evil characters, Miyazaki isn’t afraid to take a walk on the dark side too, meaning that this never veers into saccharine-Disney mode. And honestly, Totoro, Neko Bus Chu Totoro and Chibi Totoro are just so. darn. cute.
02. The Road Home If you want to see how likeable Zhang Ziyi was before she became a full-blown diva, check out this film, in which she plays (in flashbacks) a girl who waits patiently for her love by the road. My heart literally broke and I was bawling my eyes out when, in once scene, the food she was carrying for him (I think it was dumplings) rolled down a hill, and the wife too, cries. Along with Not One Less, The Road Home also captures the impoverished, hardness of Chinese life, yet does so with a nostalgic fondness. Beautiful.
03. Monster’s inc Mainly for Boo, the type of character that I usually find annoying in a film, but in Monster’s Inc, she completely won my heart. And the final look on Sulley’s face when he opened the door… ♥
04. The Spirit of the Beehive 05. Ponette
06. Wall-E Sorry, I know I've said this about a thousand times, but - Eve was just so cute! Her giggle! And also, the whole holding hands thing. And the umbrella thing. And the scene where Wall-E and Eve were flying through space. They all left me feeling lighter than air.
07. The Hudsucker Proxy Timmy Robbins swinging the hula-hoop... lols.
08. The Cave of the Yellow Dog 09. The Apartment 10. Jerry Maguire
For assorted reasons, it reminds me of last year’s Western of sorts, There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men.
It reminds me of There Will Be Blood in how it shows the evils of consumerism and corporate control, as well as the scene with Eve blowing up the spaceship reminding me of the burning derrick scene in There Will Be Blood. Also, the opening 16 minutes of Wall-E was wordless, as was the opening sequence to those two films, when no dialogue was spoken. And lastly, the “look” of Wall-E just resembled the look of NCFOM at parts. (Although I’m probably imaging things seeing as I know that Roger Deakins was a consultant on Wall-E)
OK, so that’s not an awful lot to go by. But I just wanted to say.
How cute was Eve, by the way? Her giggle was just adorable:
I’ve been trying to catch up with all the 2008 releases I wanted to see during exam period in the past couple of weeks on YouTube and whatnot, so that now I’ve seen a respectable number of 2008 movies (31), I can compile a top 10:
01. Man on Wire 02. Wall-E 03. Kung Fu Panda 04. The Dark Knight 05. Bigga than Ben 06. Son of Rambow 07. Mamma Mia! 08. Happy-Go-Lucky 09. Iron Man 10. Definitely, Maybe
The only movies that I consider complete bollocks are 27 Dresses (Katherine Heigl pisses me off a lot), 10,000 BC and Cassandra’s Dream. Funny Games I'm confused about, but I think I need to see it again to form a concrete opinion about it.
Earlier this week when I was sitting in the study reading “Candyfloss” with Tom, my brother (yes, I know, but for his entrance exams in secondary school we’ve been told that he’s really bad at English and should read as many types of books as poss. Hence the Jackie Wilson), my mum came in and asked us if we’d heard of the actor Morgan Freeman. I was indignant beyond belief, he only goes and bloody stars in my favourite bloody film! Even Tom acted like the question was ridiculous, yelling at her, “He was in The Dark Knight, mum!”
Anyway, my mum told us that he’d been in a terrible car crash and was in a terrible condition. I was heartbroken, it sounded to me like it might die, and it was Morgan Freeman! The Dark Knight was starting to become a curse.
Two days later though, I heard that he was alive in hospital. To say he was well would be pushing it, but he’d been well enough to banter with all the nurses and even say to the paparazzi “no freebies!” when they’d tried to snap him up.
Freeman could have a laugh and a joke even at the unfunniest, seemingly most dismal situation. And that made me smile.
***
Btw, terrifying as The Dark Knight was, now that it’s been two weeks since me and Tom watched it, we can’t stop taking the piss out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was a great film (in my top 4 of the year along with Wall-E, Man on Wire and Bigga than Ben [my part guilty pleasure, part obsessed with Russia movie]) and technically wonderful, etc etc, but the lines that had me quivering in fright in the cinema, now, with retrospect, also happen to be such easy targets of ridicule.
Take the line “Want to know how I got these scars?”
I currently possess a heat rash, and one morning I went to Tom, “Want to know how I got this heat rash?” in that creepy Heath voice, and we couldn’t stop laughing.
Another area of The Dark Knight that Tom and I enjoy making fun of is Harvey Dent’s horrifying face. You know how in the movie it was beyond terrifying, simply because one side of his face was normal and the other, his mouth and eyes are wide open? Well, we’ve been trying (and failing) to distort our own faces like that in front of the mirror.
I know we’re never going to make it onto Mock the Week, but laughing at inappropriate things is what me and my brother do best. Whilst it’s OK that he does it – he’s 10 – I’m 18, a legal adult, and probably should start growing up sometime soon. XD
All this piss-taking out of The Dark Knight is my way of pussfooting around writing an actual review of it. I just can't, I dunno why.
(Sorry dears, I’ve been on holiday and hence no posting. But on holiday I saw The Dark Knight & Wall.E, so, reviews follow!)
It’s several hundred years into the future and grubby little Wall.E is the last remaining robot on Earth, programmed to collect garbage around the world. By now the Earth has become such an unliveable mass of scum and debris that the humans had vacated the planet long ago, shirking responsibility for the mess they made to live it large in space.
Wall.E’s only company is a little cockroach that follows him about, until one day a spaceship lands in his vicinity, bringing with it Eve, a high-tech, no-nonsense pod robot that has been programmed to search for traces of life on Earth. Wall.E spies on Eve, and he is in turns bewildered and bewitched by her, but the principle emotion he feels toward her is love. So much love, in fact, that when the spaceship comes back to take Eve back, he follows his Goddess onto the ‘ship and it takes them to where all the humans have relocated; floated around in Space and with no intention of going home.
Any initial doubts I had about whether Pixar could pull off a futuristic robot movie were immediately quashed when we were introduced to the enigmatic robot himself. Wall.E’s existence is a mundane one; forcing rubbish into cube after cube, which he piles together to make towers of rubbish, but he finds pleasures in the household items he encounters – a spoon, a light, a bra. Back in his “home” – an upturned schoolbus he resides in, he gathers together all the items he collects, and falls asleep Hello, Dolly!, from which he becomes particularly fascinated with the act of holding hands, and wishes he has someone to do it with.
The romance between Wall.E and Eve is believable (yes, believable!) and poignant; I had tears in my eyes when he was tending to her and holding an umbrella to shield her from the rain, even though it resulted in himself getting electrocuted. Though the film is about robots (humans don’t feature until the second half, and even then they are just fat rolls operating electrical chairs, a sad reminder of where our society is headed) and the only words exchanged by the two leads are each others’ names, this is one of the must “humane” movies I have ever seen, with a lot of soul.
Beauty dominates practically every frame. The initial scenes of Wall.E captured the desolate, crumbling state of Earth, but Pixar has found loveliness in the most unexpected of places. This is Pixar’s most ambitious movie to date, and the landscapes and details are appropriately cinematic (the planet is captured with such meticulous pans and fade-outs that it feels almost Shawshank Redemptionly, no real surprise when we consider that Roger Deakins worked as a visual consultant on the movie). Another filmmaker who helped make The Shawshank Redemption the masterpiece that it was, Thomas Newman, also contributed to Wall.E, and his score, whilst not matching his personal best of the other Pixar movie he wrote for, Finding Nemo, still ranks as one of his best, particularly in his usage of the harp, which lends an otherworldly feel to the film throughout.
(Ahem. Sorry for all the references to The Shawshank Redemption here.)
My only qualm with Wall.E is that there isn’t enough humour in the movie. In a way, this is Pixar’s darkest movie to date; with its messages about society’s need to wake up to the problem of global pollution, commercialism, mass obesity and whatnot. The cheeky filmmakers even managed to slip in their own message to Disney; when the president in the old clip says “stay in the course.” But all this means that, whilst there’s the odd visual gag or two, Wall.E is not really all that funny, with no definite belly laughs. With last year’s Ratatouille also failing to tickle my funny bones, I worry that Pixar are becoming darker and darker these days, and leaving the comedic roots that served them so well in the past. However, despite the fact that I cried more than I laughed, Wall.E still gets a resouding thumbs up from me. The animation is flawless, the entertainment is countless and for once, I became interested in sci-fi. And the denouement shows that it’s not too late; redemption is still available and we can still save the world if we really want to.
