As part of my job, I have to sit professional exams in order to become a qualified actuary. My first sitting for these exams were this April, where I sat two. I was fairly confident that I'd passed Statistics but almost certain that I failed Maths.
So, imagine my euphoria come results day in early July, when I saw my name on the pass list for both exams that I sat! An exam pass is so much more satisfying when you've made peace with yourself that you were going to fail it!
As a treat to myself for all that hard work I put into those passes (I was knee-deep in revision notes all the way through April; I didn't even know certain football matches had happened), I got the top of my ear pierced, as photographed below:
Given how passionate I am about films and film star culture, it should come as no surprise to you that I was inspired to get this cartilage piercing, after seeing it on Gal Gadot:
I'm not so vain and deluded that I consider myself remotely in even the same league as Ms. Gadot, but at least now I have something in common with my own pick for the most gorgeous woman in a 2016 film!
On Sunday, me and my friend went on a bus tour around London’s film locations, courtesy of Cineworld. It was super-fun! Despite having grown up in London, up until Saturday, I hadn’t actually been on a tour bus around the city, so it allowed me to indulge the inner tourist in me for a few hours, as well as top up my film knowledge. Win-win!
The bus we rode in on. Ohai, Taron Egerton and Gal Gadot films!
Now that I’ve got the substantial snark out of the way, it’s time to honour the good stuff! Part 1 and part 2 of my favourite films of 2016, if you were wondering what my taste in films is like!
These following five movies constitute the bright sparks of 2017: the movies that bought a smile to my face, made me feel passionately, or triggered deep philosophical thoughts in my otherwise pretty one-track mind (nah, let’s be fair to myself, two-track. In that I think about Fionn Whitehead and Aneurin Barnard).
10. Wonder Woman
After the dross that was Batman vs Superman and Suicide Squad (which, despite me giving 7.5/10 initially after watching it, I’ve realised after reflection that the jukebox-style soundtrack and Viola Davis playing a red wine-drinking, steak-eating HBIC papered over a whole litany of flaws), the DCEU finally get it right.
Obviously, fashion and looks are subjective, so this is by no means the gospel. And I'm not even gonna pretend that bias and love for certain performers (and disdain for others) did not creep until my rankings. I'm prone to playing favourites and being hella petty to those I dislike a la Miles Teller when he tweeted 'congratulations to Moonlight!'
The Dunkirk twinks Harry Styles and Fionn Whitehead weren't invited to the Oscars, but had they been, I'm sure they would have made the Best Dressed Males List.
So, without further ado...
Best dressed women
07. Beanie Feldstein
Jonah Hill's younger sister's dress reminds me, funnily enough, of Jonah's Superbad co-star Emma Stone's gorgeous City of Stars dress that she wore to the 2017 Golden Globes. Only a darker, more gothic version. Black is a slimming colour, and the winged eye make-up, wavy hair and dangly earrings complete the outfit nicely.
The post-Christmas back-to-work lull one experiences in January can be quite depressing. To alleviate those January blues somewhat, London restaurants are just waiting to be explored by you, and with Groupon, LivingSocial and Wowcher deals facilitating all this, it seemed rude not to.
First thing’s first: the décor of the place was absolutely exceptional. Here’s a photo: -
For every new year that I do this, I’m going to mention whether there was any movement from the actress on the list in the previous year! I like doing these lists because it means that even when I watch films that ultimately irk me (like the almost unwatchably bad Song to Song), I don't regard it as a complete waste of time, because it all counts as research for the blog :)
I haven’t seen Blade Runner 2049, but had I, Ana de Armas would easily make the list and be a strong contender for first place. Her rosebud lips and big green eyes are out of this world! (I have a thing for green eyes. ohai Tim!)
10. Halle Berry, Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle (new entrant)
The awards season is officially underway! I was on holiday in NYC when the Golden Globe nominations dropped on Monday and didn’t have time to do a reaction post, so here be my rather delayed Good, Bads and Uglies on the nominations.
Good
- Dunkirk and Christopher Nolan being nominated. Dunkirk is currently my choice for best of 2017 (having not seen the vast majority of the Oscar heavyweights as they’re released later), and the only 9/10 I’ve awarded a 2017 film.
I like to make my lime green bedroom as me as possible. On one wall, I have Chelsea FC pictures, as well as a still of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. I've started decorating the opposite wall with personal photos, and a poster of Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman.
Evidently, I like to be reminded of movies all the time. ❤️ And, given how enamoured I was with Jason Bateman's character in Zootopia, it made sense to pop down to the Disney Store on Oxford Circus, and treat myself to a Nick Wilde soft toy for £12.95.
I haven't done one of these lists for over three years, and I think it's fair to say my taste in women has generally evolved, whilst some of the lady crush staples still remain.
Some choices from previous years which now make me cringe when I look back include Cara Delevingne (in my defence, this was before she assailed my eyes as an actress and played to her strengths as a model), Kaya Scodelario (still fit tbf, but just kinda annoying) and Emma Stone (still cute, still talented, but I will now forever sideye her for the yellowface in Aloha debacle).
I imagine when I look back at this list in a few years, I will be equally cringed out.
So, without further ado, Emmabung's Girlcrush List, 2017!
10. Ariana Grande
'Problem' is a piece of song-writing genius, an ace and catchy song has guided me through all manner of turbulent times. I have so much time for Ari's 4-octave vocal range, and I also dig how despite being baby-faced and having Bambi eyes, she has a hyper-sexualised image. The seductive way she peers up from the heart-shaped sunglasses in the 'Bang Bang' music video: swoon.
The BBFC’s 2016 Annual Report is set to be dropped any day now (2015's one came out late June last year), and for me, it’s basically like waiting for Christmas. Of course I’ll do an extensive coverage of the Report when it comes out, as I did with the 2015 one, but for now, I thought I’d guess which films the BBFC got the most complaints about.
Note that these are my predictions for public feedback, not my own thoughts about the BBFC’s performance in 2016, which I have outlined in this blog post already.
01. 10 Cloverfield Lane (12A, people will say it should have been a 15)
I prefer Margot Robbie not covered in white facepaint and acting like a deranged loon, and Rooney Mara’s character in Lion was pure bleh, so neither of my go-to girlcrushes make it on this year’s list, bizarrely.
Obviously my list might differ slightly from your average bloke's, but I’m rating these ladies’ attractiveness with a female gaze [or so I like to think].
I didn't see Batman v Superman when it first came out in the cinemas in March, as it was released the same week as Zootopia. Whilst dithering as to which to invest my time in, I noticed Zootopia got rave reviews and BvS got woeful ones. I watched Zootopia, as was the right decision; it's still my third favourite film of the year.
That should have been it, but, misguidedly, with my girlcrush on Gal Gadot, the cast featuring Amy Adams and Jesse Eisenberg and me wanting to know if it really was as bad as everyone said, I finally sat down and watched it with my brother last night.
Here be ten thoughts I had during the film:
1. The bath scene was embarrassingly forced and unerotic, and so unhygienic!!! I mean, understand trying to convey passion and the heat of the moment, and would have been cool with Cavill getting in the bath with Adams when he was fully clothed.
But getting in the bath with his dirty shoes on, when she was naked in the bath? That's just bad sanitation. Gross.
2. Zack Snyder is a talentless hack who cannot direct to save his life. Mark Kermode's review of Snyder's Sucker Punch, where he repeats the director's name in a hyperactive voice, is the funniest thing ever, but honestly, I can totally see Snyder directing BvS in such a high-pitched voice, no structure to his vision at all, and worse, no-one bothering to step in and reign him in, so the end product is just whatever Zack feels like bunging into a movie, namely, SUPERHERO FIGHT! THEN BATH SCENE! THEN JESSE EISENBERG BEING TWITCHY! THEN ANOTHER SUPERHERO FIGHT!
3. Jesse, honey.... So 2016 might be the first I bestow an actor the dubious honour of appearing in both my 'favourite performances of the year' (Eisenberg's bittersweet performance as Bobby in Cafe Society is still comfortably my favourite performance this year, for how much I recognised myself in his role), as well as 'worst performances of the year', where Eisenberg's hilariously bad Lex Luthor currently has him ranked second behind Blahra Delevingne in Suicide Squad, ofc.
He's not helped by a portentous script that has him evoking Greek mythology all the time and Snyder's direction which is completely devoid of nuance, but Eisenberg doing a half-assed Mark Zuckerberg impression and punctuating it by being a jumpy caricature in an attempt to create an unsettling villain was epic fail, on so many levels.
4. All of the action scenes were way too long, did not grab the audience's attention and just played like messy, loud, over-CGI'd nightmares.
5. Affleck was decent as Batman. I can't say I like the guy on account of him in real life basically being like the character he played in Gone Girl (he cheated on nice Jennifer Garner, the cad), but his delivery of laughable lines of dialogue in the self-important script were basically as good as you can expect from any actor. His rapport with Jeremy Irons (playing Alfred) was quite nice too.
6. The most eye-catching turn in the film was easily Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman; impeccable casting and BvS's main saving grace.
A 5'10'' former Miss Israel-winning model with long flowing locks, lips to rival Margot Robbie's in terms of juiciness and an athlete's physique, Gal definitely looks the part, but she also injected Diana with an inscrutable quality which suited the character well. Gal is the perfect age to play a character who's tough and world-worn, but at the same time retains a certain vulnerability, and the fact that she was relatively unknown when cast means that the actress doesn't bring baggage to the role, baggage that most other actors in the film did (with Affleck, I'll always think Nick, with Eisenberg, I always think Zuckerberg, with Irons, I always think the paedo from Lolita, etc).
And she sports a range of slinky dresses and arm bangles.... hawt.
You know when I said I was trying to lose weight? The goal is basically to be slim enough to rock an arm bangle like Diana, haha.
7. One of the few moments during BvS when I sat up and took notice of what was going on was when I spotted this photo:
That's handsome Chris Pine!! The inclusion of this photo played as a nice tease for next year's Wonder Woman, which despite how bad BvS was, I will definitely be seeing... come hell or high water. 😎
8. I watched the extended cut of this film, and it was too bloody long. 3 hours of my life I shall never get back. Again, all Zack Snyder's fault, for his inability to trim the fat, to give exposition and backstory in a more streamlined manner, and for lingering on scenes which didn't contribute to the story at all, but was clearly only there so he could trouser as much money as possible from the production companies.
9. Hans Zimmer's score for this film, which he collaborated with Junkie XL on, isn't a patch on his scores for the Christopher Nolan Batman movies. Whilst the score wasn't distractingly bad like the direction, it was also quite forgettable and generic action movie-sounding.
The only exception to this was the track, 'Is She With You?' which played in several variations throughout the film and then was properly blasted in a pretty epic manner when Diana finally made her entrance. It's the track that's used in the Wonder Woman trailer; apropos that the most interesting character gets the most interesting theme.
10. The BBFC have gotten quite a few complaints this year about Batman v Superman's 12A certificate, especially as the extended cut was also a 12A, when that version was rated R in the States. Meh, I think R is an overreaction. There was one grisly prison scene, but most of the violence was off-frame, so I think the BBFC actually got this one right. Mind you, violence tends to make more of an impression on me when I'm, you know, invested in the plot, which I definitely wasn't in this case...
Overall, I give Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice a 3/10 mainly because Gal Gadot was fierce and Amy Adams was completely credible as Lois Lane.
I won't be watching Justice League tho, and personally feel Zack Snyder should not be allowed near a major franchise for the rest of his life.
For me, one of the most memorable parts of Amy Dunne’s mordant ‘Cool Girl’ diatribe inGone Girlwas when she declared ‘because Cool Girls are above all, hot." This comment is delivered in relation to how she kills herself in order to stay a lithe, desirable size 2 (UK 6/8), to little appreciation from her perfidious husband, Nick.
Given that Amy is generally perceived to be a murderous psychopath, I probably shouldn’t pay this line too much heed, but for some reason, it’s really resonated with me, and as such, I’m trying hard to watch my weight.
The first step towards losing weight and eating healthier was to stop having so many lunches at McDonald’s. A substitute I explored was easy cook noodles, and thus, here are my thoughts on five different types I’ve sampled recently.
Morrisons BBQ Beef noodles 85g, 25p
There was nothing barbequey or beefy about the taste of this, I’m afraid. The noodles came out stale and tasteless, and even the liquid it was boiled in didn’t have any particular flavour. The very cheap price signals to me that this is predominantly marketed at students, although if students eat this before a night out, the lack of nutritional content means their stomachs will be insufficiently lined pre-heavy drinking, and it could well result in them chundering out their dinner. Considering how it purports to be one of the more filling of the four (total calories: 466, apparently), it doesn’t do what it says on the packaging. 2/10.
Morrisons Mild Curry flavour noodles, 85g, 25p
Gar. Another ghastly Morrisons creation. As with its predecessor, it has thin noodles that tasted of nothing and a sauce which didn’t taste remotely of curry (at least they spoke truth about the ‘mild’ part, mind). The mild curry flavour noodles purports to have 458 calories in the entire bag and it did make more of a dent on my hunger levels than the ‘meal’ from the day before, so I’ll give it +1 mark for that. 3/10.
Nissin Demae Ramen Spicy Noodles 100g, 45p
Unlike the two Morrisons travesties, the Nissin Demae Ramen noodles were deliciously thick and unrepentantly eggy. The sauce the pack yielded had flavour too! Whilst it wasn’t the burn-your-tongue-off levels of spiciness that the bright red packaging might lead you to think/dread, it was sufficiently hot to satiate my need for spiciness. What’s more, this bag came with a sachet of the sauce as well as sesame oil, which gave the meal a welcome kick. Plus, you’ve seen my cooking – you know how much I dig my oil. 8/10.
Newgate instant snack shot noodles sweet and spicy 67g
This Lidl product weighs less than the three easy cook noodles I’ve appraised so far, and as such, is lower on calorific content. On the bright side, the dried flavouring that came in a sachet for those other three, which could lead to a slight mess, was embedded in the noodle here, meaning you could avoid any pouring mishaps. The noodles here came in a strange angular shape, and were even thinner than Morrisons ones, but had more noodle length to atone for it. After you’ve finished with the noodles, I’d recommend re-filling the bowl/mug with boiling hot water, because the solid flavouring is concentrated enough to make a nice brew out of it. Not that filling, but tastes good whilst it lasts. 7/10.
For just 3p more than the two disappointing Morrisons own brand noodles, you can get this in the same store, and it’s much more filling and appetising. As with the other Chinese-style noodles, the Nissin Demae, this also comes with a small sachet of sesame oil, as well as a pack of dried flavouring that far exceeds the quantity in any of the other four noodles assessed. The resulting liquid brew is a nice concoction for you to savour, which redeems the (once again, common to Morrisons) thin, bland-tasting noodles. 7/10.
Common to all of these five products was a real ease to use, as the names suggested. You're supposed to boil them over the hob, but I found putting half the amount in my Chelsea mug and applying hot water to it, as pictured below, was just as effective, and saved considerably on the washing up!
Recipient of the 'World's Best Cocktail Menu' award, Dandelyan bar boasts some incredibly innovative drinks, all delicately crafted with the finest ingredients.
I trialled four drinks, and whilst all balanced delectable flavour with generous amounts of alcohol, the one I loved the most was Natural Born Gatherer, a refreshing and bittersweet drink that was decadently wonderful: the elderflower was the icing on the cake.
The drink photographed above is the Old Fashioned, which is, admittedly difficult to get wrong, but Dandelyan produced an excellent one, and the citrus twist they added really have the drink an extra kick.
In terms of bar snacks, I had blistered padron peppers (deliciously marinated in sea salt and olive oil), and Mondrian chips, which came with some tastebud-tantalisingly good mojo picón aioli. The key to bar snacks is to deliver them in small enough quantities to get the taster salivating for more, and salivating I most certainly was doing for the nibbles here.
Overall, Dandelyan bar oozes class. The atmosphere is chilled and the bar staff are astute and attentive. Whilst in terms of acres, it is not as spacious as Devonshire Terrace, it does have an intimate, yet classy ambiance that the former tried to manufacture, but generally lacked.
Definitely worth a visit for a mid-week post-work drink: the elegance of the decor (although the lights were a bit on the dim side) and the clientele allowed me to fulfil the delusion that I was a character in an episode of Mad Men.
Speaking of pop culture references in bar reviews, the lady who served me looked like a petite version of Gal Gadot, and in addition to being cute A F, she was extremely switched on, and gave me some on point cocktail recommendations. Bravo, Dandelyan!
