In a recession, we’ve got to be careful with how we spend our pennies. So Cheryl Cole, now ditching the “Cole” part of her moniker in an attempt to establish her a r t i s t e credentials, charging £10 for her new album, means that a decision into buying or not buying it should not be entered upon lightly. Or you could just always do as I do, and listen to all her songs on YouTube, which counts as listening to the entire album, which gives me jurisdiction to critique it.
It’s always going to be hard establishing yourself in a band that features four other band members who are all considered to be much more glamorous than you, what with Nadine Coyle and her bold, fearless voice, and Cheryl Cole’s undeserved status as the ~Nation’s Sweetheart~.
And, indeed, after Girls Aloud went on a break – much to the heartbreak of their fans, yours truly included, the solo efforts from Madams Coyle and Cole haven’t exactly blown the world away, proving to be nothing more than catchy, if forgettable, pop ditties.
So it was fair to say then, that Nicola Roberts, always maligned as “the ginger, unsmiling one”, didn’t exactly have a hard act to follow, and could almost be forgiven for allowing her album to plunge into the same depths of mediocrities that the other two did. If anything, many probably expected as much from Nicola, for, as mentioned, she was often outshone by other members of Girls Aloud, for whatever reason. In fact, her solo album,Cinderella Eyes is comfortably, comfortably better than anything released by Nadine or Cheryl – put together.
With the sound much more reliant on electronic synths rather than the everyday poppy sound that Nadine and Cheryl chose, Nicola also pens her own lyrics, and it is the combination of the fresh sound and her unflinchingly honest words that make for a winning combination.
Whilst the first single from the album, Beat of My Drum, was a catchy dance track with just the hint of bite, there are tracks on the album that are loaded with even more spice and emotional layers. Gladiatoris a cheeky, hyper dance track with an intro to rival even that of Girls Aloud’s Biology- check out her swagger as she hollers “We love you faking cos you make the effort to pretend,” a line that blows anything fromClose to Loveout of the park in terms of innuendo.
Unlike Cheryl Cole, who has the vocal range of about one octave, Roberts is much more vocally diverse, and even then, is not afraid to push her vocal boundaries- on this album, she raps, sings, hollers, sometimes all in the space of one song. This is epitomized in Cinderella Eyes, which features her speaking lyrics, as well as a striking falsetto on the “Cinderella, are you happy?” part.
The standout track on the album for me, though, is Sticks and Stones, which could not be more autobiographical. The gentle piano chords are a perfect complement to Roberts’ inner soliloquy “couldn't you tell lies to me? Couldn't you say I'm pretty?”. In a four-minute track, years of inner turmoil come out. The issues of feeling ugly, self-loathing, wanting to fit in will sit well with all of Roberts’ target audience, but the fact that she has genuinely experienced everything that she has written about gives the song a raw, authentic edge. It moved me to tears.
One of the things I loved most about Girls Aloud was that I could always connect to their song lyrics, particularly the ones about the tribulations of being in love, and Nicola Roberts stays true to this with her songYo-Yo, “don’t want to be the last to know, will it be a yes or no?”, about women and the men who lead us on for their own wants. In every sense, this is an album from a woman who has a lot to sing about, whether it be about feeling insecure, being wrapped around the finger of someone who’s just using us, or simply growing up.
What’s more, Nicola Roberts isn’t afraid to drop the odd expletive. I loved it when Girls Aloud swore, infrequent as it was – “shut your mouth because your shit might show” on No Good Advice was one of my all-time guilty pleasure song lyrics, and hearing the sweet, angel-faced Liverpudlian lass open her potty mouth is as much of a joy, as exhibited on Take a Bite and I. The combination of her life experiences, surprising amount of spunk and the ingenious electro-beats behind all her sings makes for a totally winning combination.
Those of us who thoroughly know our Girls Aloud inside and out out, have always known what a joy Nicola voice is – check out her embodying sexy sassiness on Sexy! No No No… in her “from top to bottom I’m a woman, sunshine” part, and the sweet melancholia in her voice during The Loving Kind’s gorgeous “I’ll do anything, sing songs that lovers sing” refrain. So it isn’t the quality of her voice that is so much the big surprise of Cinderella’s Eyes. But, rather, that she has stepped out and produced a genuinely fantastic solo album, which, in isolation, could well grace my top 20 albums of all times list. It has an entire rollercoaster of emotions, from joy, heartbreak, despair and lyrics that exhibit a real wisdom beyond her years.
Not a word of lie, I could, quite comfortably, compile a list of top 20 favourite lyrics from this album and they would all be poetry to rival that of Blake or Keats.
These are not tentative, baby steps into the world of solo-dom. This is a bold, in-your-face, I’m-here-deal-with-it album from Miss Roberts, and all the better for it. It is the best thing I have heard all year, and could well be one of the best albums of the new millennium.
Grade: A
For more of my album and concert reviews, click here.
Sixteen months on, a redux of this list, in which only two women who were on that list have made the cut this time round. This says a lot really; chiefly, that first and foremost, I'm quite the fickle when when finding female celebrities to lust after/wish I looked like. Secondly, that there are just so many gorgeous women in the media today, and to truly celebrate the beauty (both outer and inner) of them all, would take much much more than a simple, artlessly made blog post. Also, I am being rather shallow in the constructing of this list, so it comprises of ten stunners who's looks - purely physical - do it for me. Of course, there are countless other definitions of sexiness, but for this list, I'm going by just looks.
10. Kaya Scodelario
Maaaan, girl is just completely and utterly gorgeous. She has stunning blue eyes - which is often coked in vampish make up on Skins to turn her sex factor up to an eleven, an enviable size six bikini body and amazing personal style.
09. Selena Gomez
She's Public Enemy No. 1 for all the Beliebers, but I couldn't care less about that little scrote and if you ask me, that boy's damn lucky to have Selena, for, in addition to being a very talented young performer, she possesses the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
08. Kimberley Walsh
If you stripped all of Girls Aloud off their magical make-up, this Yorkshire lass would probably come across as the most naturally beautiful; she can survive with just her fake lashes and lip gloss. Flawless skin, tiny waist, womanly hips and a brilliantly warm energy to go with all that, it's impossible not to like Kimbo.
07. Ana Vidic
I'm less than fond of the man standing next to her, but for me, Ana Vidic is the Queen of wags. Despite mothering two sons, she has a body to rival Victoria Beckham's, and boasts the most spectacular range of Jimmy Choos and Louboutins. Furthermore, as with Fernando Torres' wife Olalla, who just missed this list; she combines beauty and brains - both woman have Economics degree. As Beyonce said, "smart enough to make the millions, strong enough to bear the children."
06. Una Healy
I sort of hate myself for bunging two members of The Saturdays on; they're frequently dubbed "the New Girls Aloud" but that's like saying Jordan Henderson and Luka Modric are en-par trololololo, but I can't resist a bit of Una. She's the only one in the band who doesn't assail my ears when she opens her mouth to sing, her fiery red hair and electric blue eyes make a killer combination and, as the oldest of The Saturdays, I'm digging her devil-may-care-swagger.
05. Mila Kunis
I could say a lot about Mila, not least commending her awesome voice work on Family Guy as the long-suffering Meg and the wide range of outfits she's rocked on the red carpet, but I just wanna talk about one thing to be honest: her licking Natalie Portman out in Black Swan. I consider myself fairly straight (although judging from this list and the comments that's reaching Wenger-levels of delusion [and the fact that Kaya & Selena - two girls younger than myself are on here indicates that's probably not the only thing I have in common with Arsene trololololo], really) but that scene? Something happened downstairs at vaga del Bung~~ Get it, gurl.
04. Nadine Coyle
Her solo album was widely regarded as a flop (although I firmly maintain that it had some real treats including Natural, Unbroken and the single Insatiable itself), but Nadine is and always will be the most talented singer from Girls Aloud. Her voice lifts practically all of their songs to pop treats to transcendence and the sass she exudes when GA go on tour is priceless. Plus: LEGS.
03. Rihanna
When my brother was getting a poster of his guycrush - Gareth Bale for Christmas 2010, I got a poster of one of my ultimate girlcrushes - Barbados babe Rihanna. Along with Kaya Scodelario, she's one of the only two who was on this list 16 months ago, and unlike Kaya, she's climbed up even in the face of countless other beauties. The reason? Well, a mixture of things. I loved her effortless cool on the music video of What's My Name, as well as the minimal clothing she wears, showing off her to-die-for body. But the main reason she's made such a surge is how she wore her heart on her sleeve in her performances of Love the Way you Lie Parts I & II. Both songs must have hit super-close to home, and it shows, in the strength and power of her vocals.
02. Dianna Agron
Glee has a lot of beautiful girls - Heather Morris and Naya Rivera were just hovering outside the top ten, but its cheerleader Quinn Fabray ala Miss Agron who truly feels my heart with, er, glee. #needtotrainmyjokes Those big hazel eyes, that stunning bone structure, her natural regal of carrying herself, her gorgeous blonde locks... I'm a little bit in love.
01. Frankie Sandford
I actually really hate myself a little bit for this. Were I to redux my love/hate list, Essex-born Frankie Sanford would be right at the top. I don't think she can sing, and the fact that she's dating Wayne Bridge (a player I used to cherish but now I'm very "eh" about, basic #ChelseascumDNA get over it) are automatic gamebreakers. But... girl is stunning. She was always pretty little Francesca in S Club Juniors and with long hair, but the short hair just really brings out her cheekbones, eyes, and general gorgeousness. She's had a pixie cut done recently which looks amazing, although I do prefer this older cut. Girl has some of the most photogenic features I've ever seen, and were I an artist, I would be devoting time trying to draw her, she's that stunning.
Agree with my choices? Disagree? Think I need to train?
Back to the Girls Aloud obsession once again! One of the many things I love about their songs is that I can always recognise something of myself in their lyrics. So here are 10 of their song lyrics which I feel I connect to:
01. “Without any meaning, we’re just skin and bone, like beautiful robots dancing alone” – Untouchable
02. “Boy did you ever think that loving would be nothing more than walking me home? No no” – Sexy! No No No…
03. “My Aladdin’s lamp is down and I got a fear, ooh baby, right here” – The Promise
04. “It might sound crazy but your voice still leaves me all funky” – Whole Lotta History
05. “You could be the one that’s the head of the pack, babe. You could be the power stealing the whole damn show” – Crocodile Tears
06. “Surfing channels ‘til I bleach out the pain” – Memory of You
07. “I got you, I know your game. Doesn’t mean I know how to play” – History
08. “Gone are the days of magic, those times were cool. I tried to make love not hate, what was I to do” – Rolling Back the Rivers in Time
09. “I've been waiting all this time for you / And I've been hatin' all this talkin', baby, black and blue” – Waiting
10. “Wake me up before I drop out on you / You treat me rough to show that you care / And I just can't refuse baby” – Wake Me Up
Oh, would you look at that, nearly all of them relate to love, and the pangs of disappointed love. Typical Bung!
Now, I’ve always been a big Girls Aloud fan, but it took my lengthy commutes to work this Summer with nothing but my big-ass iPod for company to appreciate the full genius of their song lyrics, rather than just view them as a fun girl-band. In fact, I used to only ever notice Cheryl's beauty and Nadine's t'riffic voice, but recently I've got a whole lotta love for Kimberley, and acknowledge that Sarah and Nicola both have their moments too. As an ensemble, I just can't get enough of 'em, and so wish they'd get back together. Thus, as I did with Regina Spektor ages back (and by ages I do mean ages, 2 years ago, Jesus), I thought I’d do my top 10 of their songs. I’ve given this a fair bit of thought, and it’s not been easy to leave out some songs, but, finally, I think I’m ready to unleash it!
Because ten just isn’t enough for this insanely wonderful five-some: The Loving Kind, Watch Me Go, Graffiti My Soul, Here We Go, The Promise are runners-up
10. She
The B-Side to The Promise, and, whilst the frontline single itself is a terrifically cheery and feel-good song about falling in love despite everything, She turned my head even more. The beat in She is one of Girls Aloud’s sexiest, as are the lyrics, about a she-wolf and how she prowls, set to a combination of sultry singing and cheeky chanting. And Nadine, who I’ve always believed to have the best voice in the band, gets to really give a pipes a good blasting in the song’s closing refrain, which she completely nails; her delivery of “you in the middle, get your coat, let’s go!” manages to be both bossy and alluring.
09. No Good Advice
“Shut your mouth, because your shit might show” is one of Girls Aloud’s feistiest lyrics, but it suits No Good Advice, a song which showed that they aren’t just like every other goody-goody girlband on the scene, and that they have more of an edge to them, an edge which brings out the inner rockstars in them. The delivery of the spirited lyrics are especially so from Nadine and Cheryl, who do some ballsy voice work here, and the funky guitar and drums in the background complement the lively tone of the song. Essentially, it’s a song about rebelling about the (well-intentioned) things your parents say to you, and do your own thing instead (the part of the song wherein the girls say a litany of things they can do without – absolute genius). Which, to be quite honest, I complete connect to.
08. Sound of the Underground
Back in the day of Popstars: The Rivals, this was their first song, which they beat their opponents with for the spot of Christmas no. 1, and, eight years on, it has more than survived the test of time. The bassline wouldn’t be out of place in a Tomoyasu Hotei instrumental and the beat is wonderfully metallic, but you’ve also got the catchy lyrics (of which Nadine’s delivery hints at the promise of a great singer to come).
07. Fix Me Up
For a long, long time, this was my mobile ringtone, and certainly one of their catchiest (and bawdiest) songs. Essentially, it’s about being horny and wanting to bung your man, but such is the cheekiness of the lyrics and the band’s delivery of them (Sarah Harding, perhaps construed as the most fun-loving of the band, unsurprisingly takes centre stage here) that the song remains on just the right side of seediness. It’s a funky, funny, enjoyable choon.
06. Control of the Knife
My favourite rendition of this is easily from the Tangled Up tour, wherein Cheryl puts her exquisite dancing talent to good use by taking centre stage. The “trick me” part, which doesn’t feature in the single, is a very ingenious use of Kelis (see also: integrating Rihanna’s Disturbia in Sexy! No No No… in the Out of Control tour). With an intrepid move into the world of reggae and ska, Control of the Knife is a mish-mash of musical flavours, topped off with a great horn solo, showing that, it’s often just as much about the instruments and producers as it is about Girls Aloud themselves.
05. Something Kinda Ooh
Something Kinda Ooh, which receives my vote for sexiest GA music video and has had me repeatedly questioning my sexuality (the silhouettes! The cars! The skimpy outfits!), is easily the best one to dance to on cheesy nights out and in the cheese rooms in Oceana. The adrenaline-pumped bass, the jolly guitar riffs, Nadine Coyle rapping, it all comes together to create what is – and will continue to be – a nightclub favourite. I still get insanely happy when I hear the girls’ voices chanting “I GOT TO HEAT IT UP, GOTTA, GOTTA HEAT IT UP.”
04. Call the Shots
One of my favourite songs to listen to whenever I’m irked with men, I really dig the message of being strong and not giving into men and their damn petty games. The ooh-ing and aah-ing give the song a little added spice, and the backing track wouldn’t be out of place in a 90s disco, which gives the whole thing a wonderfully nostalgic feel. The line “I won’t cry because I’ve stumbled through this far” shows the mature, sensitive side to the band that may not have been as well-exhibited in the past, and the whole package is just a wonderfully bittersweet and elegant affair.
03. Can’t Speak French
“Not that one!” my workmate exclaimed when I revealed my list to her after finally constructed it, for, whilst extremely re-playable and featuring a music video that makes a playful nod to the Marie-Antoinette lifestyle of gorgeous costumes and hedonistic lifestyles, Can’t Speak French is far from being one of the deepest songs ever written. But by keeping it simple, I find Can’t Speak French easy to bop along to and connect with, especially the underlying message that often, it is difficult to convey the depth of our emotions through words, so we let our actions do the talking. Plus Cheryl’s “I gotta let you know” refrain contains what is quite possibly her strongest vocal work; I think it’s absolutely lovely.
02. Untouchable
When I think about how my initial reaction to hearing this song was “yawn”, I cannot help but cringe. Thankfully, I came to my senses, and saw this song for what it really was: pure poetry. Lyrics-wise, I feel this is Girls Aloud’s most beautiful song. Clocking in at just under seven minutes long, the band take their sweet time with this one, and texturally, it happens to be one of their most ambitious songs as well. But the gamble pays off. Moving, deep, and very, very classy, Untouchable shows that Girls Aloud don’t have to be loud to be brilliant. The tone of the song can be interpreted as sad, but I also get a strange sense of uplift whenever I hear it too, which is the mark of a good piece of art. Plus there is one line in it that never fails to give me shivers – Nadine’s stunning “Without any meaning, we’re just skin and bone, like beautiful robots dancing alone”, which, to me, is like Keats for the 21st century. Sublime.
01. Sexy! No No No…
In a word, complete and utter musicalling genius. Although the music video still disturbs me, I simply cannot resist the sultry, girl-power and downright swagger of this song. The bass and guitar riffs are terrific, funked-up pop music, as is Nicola hollering “from top to bottom I’m a woman, sunshine”, which easily takes my vote for the best delivery of a lyric within the band, though there are countless other lines which I quote on a daily basis, “Did you ever think that loving would be nothing more than walking me home”, “I’ll give you nothing ‘til you show me something”, etc. The lyrics, which are relatively obscure, are generally telling of a woman not giving away her affection, and making a man “chase” her, which, I approve 100% of. The song has no structure to speak off, no chorus, bridge and verse, like the majority of their songs, and for that, it jarred when I first heard it, but on repeat listening, I was as hooked as an England left back to his mobile phone (I kid, Ashley, I kid because I love. Clean sheet against Arsenal on Sunday, yeah?) Topped off with a bass which samples “Hair of the Dog” and tonnes of stringry guitar, Sexy! No No No… is an amazing song, whether it be to dance to, sing to, or feel like a woman to (for other songs that fulfil this latter function, listen to Portishead’s Glory Box), and there will never, ever, be anything like it. Perfection? Hell yes.
My favourite sexy GA song lyrics:
01. "you dream of touching me there” - Graffiti My Soul
02. "Quarter past two
I was dressed in red
Tied up to your bed
Begged you on my knees" - Watch Me Go
03. "Oh boy, I can't tell you how sad I feel / If tonight, is just another kink in your steel" - Something Kinda Ooh
04. All the names that you called out in bed seem to fade” - Call the Shots
05. "Oh baby baby hit the light / You gotta hit the spot" - Fix Me Up
Yup, I have indeed been somewhat obsessed with GA recently (not much else has been going on in my life apart from work and and work, though I did make time to watch the Arsenal game, to which I lol'd. Hard). ANYWAY. Yours please!
I've been listening to Girls Aloud religiously recently, they being my go-to band for songs when my boyfriend pisses me off (which is just about every day). I noticed some lines really, really lingered with me, whether it be for the delivery of them, the poetry in the lyrics, or a mixture of both. Thus, this list.
01. Nicola: "from top to bottom I'm a woman, sunshine" - Sexy! No No No...
02. Nadine: "like beautiful robots dancing alone" - Untouchable
03. Cheryl: "I gotta let you know..." - Can't Speak French
04. Cheryl: intro to Sexy! No No No...
05. Cheryl: "out of the fire that burns inside me, a phoenix is rising" - Call the Shots
06. Nicola: "through wind and rain we got here, now we're flying babe with no fear" - Untouchable
07. Sarah: "your kisses taste like cyanide and that's not good for me" - Graffiti My Soul
08. Nadine: "I was Snow White 'til I started to drift" - Close to Love
09. Kimberley: "and who could ever question any crying I do" - Can't Speak French
10. Cheryl's rap in Watch Me Go
Any I've missed out that you particularly love?
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Nadine Coyle finally let us in on the full audio of her new single, Insatiable:
