Because I'm a Girl. And because I can.

Now, it sort of goes without saying that I have atrocious taste in men, so take this supposed "hottest players in the World Cup" list with the smallest pinch of salt possible. I fancy Gareth Southgate, after all.

10-6: Mesut Özil (Germany), Cesc Fabregas (Spain), Robin Van Persie (Netherlands), Salomon Kalou (Ivory Coast) and Paulo Ferreira (Portugal)

05. Xavi Hernandez and Andres Iniesta (Spain)
I know, I know. Iniesta is balding and Xavi looks like a hobbit. But, when all is said and done, talent is very, very sexy, and both of these footballers had that in spades. Both were likely contenders for the accolade of Golden Ball (which went, in the end, deservedly to Diego Forlan), and have been consistent and the models of professionalism throughout the tournament. Plus the Iberian look is just hot, okay.

04. Iker Casillas (Spain)
My taste in men, as you'll have noted from the other names on the list, is questionable to say the least. But such is Iker's universal appeal, that despite him actually being handsome, he still made his way onto my list, which is otherwise choc-a-bloc full of players who normal people might call munts. But I just had to bung him on. After all, as Lady Gaga might say, I got lost in his brown eyes.

03. Gonzalo Higuan (Argentina)

I won't lie, such is the premier-ccentricness of the football I watch that I didn't even know who this dude was prior to the tournament. But he caught my eye in his head-turning, hat-trick scoring perofrmance against South Korea, and his penchant for stripping faster than I can say "Argie Bargie" is very well received. That he established himself when fighting for a place against the likes of Messi, Tevez and Milito is one thing. That he is only 22 and has his best years still ahead of him is another. A very, very hot prospect, in more ways than one.

02. Frank Lampard (England)
Yet another disappointing World Cup for Mr. Lampard, but at least he didn't miss a penalty this time! Whey! Anyway, it's pretty much my duty to promote Lampard whenever I can, and that I do: I had my desktop background as a picture of him in an attempt to spread the Frank Lampard love. Instead, I got tonnes of stick for it, and in the end, gave up on what I saw was a lost cause. You could argue that Lamps (who at 32 is still smokin') felt exactly the same way about England.

01. Peter Crouch (England)
Yeah, I know. He played in this tournament for a grand total of about 40 seconds, but in my arrogant opinion, it should have been a lot, lot more. I'm of the belief that had Capello shown a little bit of faith in him, as Harry Redknapp did for Man City v Tottenham, Crouch would have reward him - and us England fans - handsomely. Instead we had Shrek leading our line, and once again, the overrated ogre underperformed for his country. I continually hear idiots whine about how Crouchie "only scores against crap teams". Well, well, well. Our so-called messiah Rooney didn't even do that. End of the day, Crouchie should've played, and we might have gone far. Instead, Rooney played, and we didn't. Sad.

Oh boys, this is not our choice.

Germany 4 - Argentina 0



As a bitter Englander, I wanted both teams to lose (lol, typical), but there's no doubt that Germany totally deserved their win. Wow.

Don't Act like I Never Told You.

England 0 - Algeria 0


Wayne Rooney proved, time and time again, what an overrated ogre he is, nobody of the England XI did anything worth giving a damn, and once again, Capello showed what a genius he was by not starting Crouch. It infuriates me when people disregard Crouchie's terrific scoring record, saying "he only scores against easy teams." Well, you may or may not have noticed, but England didn't score a goal AT ALL last night, so I would say they should welcome all goals, against big teams or small. I mean, starting Heskey above Crouch?!?!?????? I take no pleasure in my country's shortcomings, but judging from that performance and Capello's refusal to do what is right, I'd say we bloody deserved to be out in the group stages.

The first proper upset of the tournament so far.

Spain 0 - Switzerland 1

Football, bloody hell.

Wash your hands, Didier.

Football Crazy.

Out of the eight matches that have gone on so far this tournament, I have, lamentably, only watched five. The first I missed was due to work, but the two others - South Korea v Greece and Argentina v Nigeria, were entirely due to my own folly; of choosing to swan around London on a football Saturday, and then watch SATC2. Tut tut. By all intents and purposes, I was actually abiding by this film poster: -

Anyway, of the five matches I did see, brief thoughts:

Group A

Uruguay 0 France 0

Uruguay (4-4-2): Muslera; Victorino, Lugano, Godin, A Pereira; M Pereira, Perez  (Eguren 87), Arevalo,

Gonzalez (Lodeiro 63); Forlan, Suarez (Abreu 74)

Booked: Victorino, Lodeiro, Lugano.

Sent off: Lodeiro.

France (4-3-3): Lloris; Sagna, Gallas, Abidal, Evra; Gourcuff (Malouda 75), Toulanan, Diaby; Govou (Gignac 83), Anelka (Henry 71) Ribery.

Booked: Evra, Ribery, Toulalan.

Referee: Yuichi Nishimura (Jpn)

Fighting Talk Going into this game, France had lost in a friendly game to China. That's right, China. As for their qualification at Republic of Ireland's expense, the handiwork of Thierry Henry has now been well-documented, many times over. Uruguay had won none of their previous 12 games in the World Cup with European sides. The statistics regarding both teams hinted at a cagey affair with few goals.

How it went down There were indeed few goals, if few means "none", and even less flair on show. After a decent first few minutes, the rest of the first half fizzled out into nothingness as neither team found cohesion in attack. Raymond Domenech controversially benched winger Florent Malouda after an alleged bust-up in training, and the wizardry of the Chelsea man is much missed. There were two or three good half-chances in the first 45 minutes but not much else and though the game comes a little more into life when Henry stepped onto the pitch, neither team were able to find the net. Diego Forlan, breaker of Liverpool and Fulham hearts in the Europa Cup, looked particularly forlorn with his non-appearance. Uruguay will probably be more relieved of the two to escape with a point as they finished the match with ten men (Nicolas Lodeiro was sent off for two yellow cards), but the lack of creativity on display from two much-celebrated footballing countries was quite disappointing.

The good Despite the bee-like sound of the vuvulezas all over the pitch, there are still cheers aplenty to be heard; good to see the fans rooting for their countries.

The bad Nicolas Anelka strutted around the pitch looking even more po-faced than usual, very much in the vein of the apathetic Anelka I witnessed when he first joined Chelsea. You've played at countless clubs, you should know by now that rolling your eyes doesn't produce goals, mate.

The ugly After the match, Patrice Evra lambasted the vuvulezas and then the World Cup ball for France's below-par performance. Sigmund Freud might call such behaviour "displacement".

What this means It's all square in Group A, as South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay and France all draw. The World Cup host country will probably be most grateful with their point, but as it stands, there's everything to play for.

And the rest  Chris Toy, of Studs Up fame, said on twitter at half-time, "This game is tight, just how Ribéry likes it." I felt grubby for doing so, but oh, how I laughed.

Group C

England 1 USA 1

England (4-4-2): Green; Johnson, King

(Carragher 46min), Terry, A Cole; Lennon, Lampard, Gerrard, Milner (Wright-Phillips 30); Rooney, Heskey (Crouch 79).

Booked: Milner, Carragher, Gerrard.

USA (4-4-2) : Howard; Cherundsolo, DeMerit, Onyewu, Bocanegra; Donovan, Bradley, Clark, Dempsey; Altidore (Holden 86), Findley (Buddle 77). Booked: Cherundolo, DeMerit, Findley

Referee: C Simon (Brazil)

Fighting Talk Dubbed as an American-Anglo clash of international (well, duh) proportions, England fans took to baiting American ones by patronising their lack of knowledge about football, whilst they promised to get at us in the simplest way; by baiting Wayne Rooney. More than two years on from installing Fabio Capello as England manager and having missed out on Euro 2008, this was England's first tournament match since the disastruous 2006 World Cup, and expectations were through the roof.

How it went down England started well when Emile Heskey found newly-appointed England captain Steven Gerrard, who hit the net within four minutes. From there on for the next 20 minutes, England looked confident and capable in attack. America gave as good as they got, Jozy Altidore and Landon Donavon in particular having fun with the England defenders, and on 40 minutes, though England were leading, the game was pretty even. How nice of Rob Green, then, to do his bit for the Americans. With Clint Dempsey's speculative shot heading towards him, he caught the ball, then proceeded to drop it as it bounced behind him and into the net. All that was missing from that scene of vintage England goalkeeping was some clown music going "wah wah wah". Green pulled off a terrific save in the second half that prevented the Americans from going 2-1 up, but let's be honest, all that will be remembered of him from now on no matter what he does is his blunderous "Hand of Clod" moment.

The good Despite all my reservations about starting both Lampard and Gerrard in midfield, for once, both players were a credit to themselves.

The bad It's pointless to dwell on it, but Rob Green's mistake really does need to be seen to be believed.

The ugly Wayne Rooney running with the ball. Wayne Rooney remonstrating with the referee. Wayne Rooney full stop.

What this means USA will be far happier with this result than England will, but a draw is not the end of the world by any means. England's inability to produce a second goal, however, is. For all the plaudits laid upon him, Rooney had a terrible game and another performance like this and I would seriously question his starting place. We won't win games through reputation. Just sayin'.

And the rest Despite their National Team holding their own against the Three Lions, the American media still haven't understood the concept of a draw. Oh dear.

Algeria 0 Slovenia 1

Algeria (4-5-1): Faouzi Chaouchi, Madjid Bougherra, Nadir Belhadj, Anther Yahia, Rafik Halliche, Mehdi Lacen, Karim Matmour (Rafik Saifi, 80), Karim Ziani, Hassan Yebda, Foued Kadir (Adlene Guedioura, 82), Rafik Zoheir Djebbour (Abdelkader Ghezzal, 58)

Booked: Ghezzal, Yebda

Sent off: Ghezzal

Slovenia (4-4-2): Samir Handanovic, Miso Brecko, Marko Suler, Bostjan Cesar, Bojan Jokic, Robert Koren, Valter Birsa (Nejc Pecnik, 84), Andraz Kirm, Aleksander Radosavljevic (Andrej Komac, 87), Milivoje Novakovic, Zlatko Dedic (Zlatan Ljubijankic, 53)

Booked: Radosavljevic, Komac

Referee: Carlos Batres (Guatemala)

Fighting Talk With England and USA drawing the night before, there was now more of a chance that the winner of this match - should there be one - could grasp the second place spot.

How it went down For 73 minutes, sod all occurs, except both sides producing what would be a perfect antidote to insomnia. In the 74th minute, the Algeria substitute Ghezzal, already on a yellow for a pointless shirt pull, commits his second stupid foul of the day with a handball, and is given his marching orders.  Not long after, Slovenia capitalise with a goal by Robert Koren, though the shot itself was tame, it was more due to the failings of their goalkeeper Chaouchi, who let it bounce off his shoulder and into the net. Two matches from group C, and two hilarious bouts of goalkeeping.

The good The game ended, didn't it?

The bad The performances from both sides. Though Slovenia came out with the more attacking line-up, such was Algeria's compact midfield that they succeeded in shutting them down for most of it. As such, any creative flair was completely stifled, leading to one of the most boring matches I've watched for quite a while.

The ugly Whilst the quality of the football was low, but was even worse was the commentry supplied by the BBC, who kept arrogantly tempting hubris by asserting "based on this performance, England need not be troubled." It was them, rather than the vuvuleza sounds, that had be scrambling for the mute button.

What this means Slovenia must want the group stages to stay as it is; they sit pretty at the top of Group C, albeit with England ans USA yet to play.

And the rest Alan Hansen, BBC pundit, was particularly mardy during the commentary of this match. He turns 55 today. Unhappy Birthday to him.

Group D

Serbia 0 Ghana 1

Fighting Talk The first game of six from Group D, one of the two Groups of Death (the other being Group G). In this group sit Serbia, Ghana, Australia and Germany, all four of which stand a fighting chance of making it into the knockout stages.

How it went down Another tightly contested match with the third red card of the tournament shown, which proceeded to turn the events of the game. Aleksandar Lukovic, receiving a second yellow for hauling down Asamoah Gyan, is given his marching orders around the 70th minute, and moments later Zdravco Kuzmanovic's handball in the penalty box leading to the penalty awarded to Ghana, which (the pre-mentioned) Gyan duly converted. The rest of the match was a mixture of misplaced long balls from Serbia and resiliant Ghanian defending, making Ghana worthy of their win.

The good The Ghana team performance, though lacking in much creative flair, was solid and cohesive, every one on their team had a strong game, particularly captain John Pantsil, Tagoe and Gyan, the latter of whom kept the Serbian defence on their toes throughout.

The bad Kuzmanovic, one of the Serbian substitutes, had barely been on the pitch when he conceded the first penalty of the tournament, and a totally needless one at that. That'll stick with him, for sure.

The ugly Lukovic's first half and second half performances were the very epitome of Jekyll and Hyde. In the first half, he looked composed and in control, but his needless second yellow in the second half meant he was essentially the architect of Serbia's downfall.

What this means At present, Ghana are top of Group D, Serbia bottom.

And the rest Nine of the Serbia starting XI had names ending in -ic.

Germany 4 Australia 0

Germany Manuel Neuer, Arne Friedrich, Holger Badstuber, Philipp Lahm, Per Mertesacker, Sami Khedira, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Mesut Ozil (Mario Gomez, 74), Lukas Podolski (Marko Marin, 81), Miroslav Klose (Jeronimo Baretto Cacau, 68), Thomas Muller

Booked: Ozil, Cacau

Australia Mark Schwarzer, Lucas Neill, Craig Moore, Tim Cahill, Jason Culina, Brett Emerton (Mile Jedinak, 74), Luke Wilkshire, Scott Chipperfield, Vince Grella (Brett Holman, 46), Carl Valeri, Richard Garcia (Nikita Rukavytsya, 64)

Booked: Moore, Neill, Valeri

Sent off: Cahill

Referee: Marco Rodríguez (Mexico)

Fighting Talk If the previous match between Ghana and Serbia (the former 17 FIFA places below the other) was any indicator, then an upset, with Australia placed 13 places below Germany could well be on the cards. In reality, this was said more in hope than expectation.

How it went down Car analogies were being thrown around our living room and me, having had 20 driving lessons once and gotten nowhere and having no car expertise at all, can only paraphrase what was said by my paterfamilia: that Germany performed like a well oiled, state of the art Mercedes-Benz S-type, and Australia were the 60-year-old Chrysler in need of an engine repair. Harsh, but true; Australia's defence were non-existent on some occasions and by the time Germany hit four, I was torn between awe for one team and pity for the other. Tim Cahill's tackle wasn't great but it certainly didn't merit a straight red and unless FIFA retract it, it means Australia's playmaker misses the next two matches. On the balance of this performance, it could well be Australia's last two in this tournament.

The good Make no mistake, Germany were very, very good. Philipp Lahm, a footballer shorter than most of my gal pals, wore the captains armband, and suitably quelled most of Australia's attack. He was also a persistent threat going forward, and swung in the cross that lead to Germany's second goal. Thomas Muller and Mesut Ozil were also integral components in what was a very well put-together machine. Ruthless and efficient will be two adjectives that will be churned out many a time when talking about Germany, but on their performance today, it's justified.

The bad It gives me no pleasure to say it, but Australia disappointed. Hardly anyone on their team shone, but Craig Moore and Vince Grella in particular had shockers. And the prospect of no more Timmy Cahill makes me very sad indeed.

The ugly The referee. Cahill's sending off was just one of the many bizarre calls he had. Australia lost the match on their own shortcomings, but the referee most certainly did not help things. Referees had been doing ok so far this tournament, getting most of the big decisions right (for example, refusing to award France penalties, and rightfully sending players off on 50/50 calls), but Marco Rodriguez let the side down.

What this means Germany have played one, won one, with a handsome goal difference of +4. Despite the one-sidedness, it proved a scintillating game and the only one so far (aside from the England, but I have a vested interest in that game, naturally) that genuinely thrilled me.

And the rest Both captains missing from teams at the top of Group D have first names Michael and play for Chelsea. (lol, I ran out of exciting facts so you'll have to make do with that one)

That's that from that. I work during the week, so I'll miss all the 12:30 and 3:00 kick-offs, though I'll watch the 7:30 ones. This does mean I missing the likes of Denmark vs The Netherlands and Ivory Coast vs Portugal. This makes me sad. But ahhh, that's what highlights are for!

It's not easy being Green, and it's not easy being Bung.

I feel like a dick whining about my life, as in many ways, I have it pretty good. I live in the suburbs of London, away from the constant babble of noise and action that living in the capital can bring, but close enough to Central London that 15 minutes on the train can bring me to it should I so fancy it. Today, I did fancy it, as my best friend Anna was in London for a fashion shoot, so I thought I'd chill with her beforehand.  In between giggling and bantering, I was able to bask in the busy hubbub and cosmopolitan vibe of London, which is what I love about this city so damn much, as well as enjoy some of the World Cup advertisments littered around tube stations, such as these ones:

After that, Anna headed to her photoshoot and I hit the cinema to see the second film of my favourite TV show, Sex and the City 2. As reviews had warned me, it was, indeed, mighty disappointing. The script had none of the wit of the show, and whereas in the past, the repartee betwen Carrie, Sam, Miranda and Charlotte felt natural and smart, here, some of the dialogue left me physically cringing. Throw in some very dubious morals on the sanctity of marriage, crude racial stereotyping and even the cast looking like they couldn't be bothered, and I was left wondering why I'm still such a devoted SATC fan. But somehow, I still thoroughly enjoyed the film. The costumes were as stunning as you'd expect -the costume designer clearly had a good time enjoying the middle eastern theme and the four leads are kitted out beautifully throughout and despite the stupid things that they do (especially Carrie), I can't help but love them. So, all in all, a good day out for me.

However, all this meant that I missed both South Korea vs. Greece and Argentina vs. Nigeria, which I'm pretty upset about. After all, I'd spent so long getting excited about the World Cup, and, now that it's here, I don't watch the matches? That's just not on. I'm particularly sad I missed the former, as Park Ji-Sung scored. Despite him playing for my most loathed team Manchester United (I'm a Chelsea fan), I love Park a lot, for his work-rate and just how well he carries himself in a game full to the brim of dickish starlets. But whether or not I watched it, I'm delighted he scored.

There were less delights, unfortunately, in the one game I did watch, in which my country participated; England vs USA. This game had been painted as quite the grudge match of late, with even politicans coming out to voice their patriotic support, and plenty of trash-talk occuring beforehand. One of my favourites was the front page of today's The Sun, which poked fun at the way Americans spoke. However, that jokey joke was one of the few things that could be enjoyed about the match. England went off to a great start - Heskey set up Steven Gerrard, who scored neatly and precisely within 4 minutes. The ITV commentators could barely hold in their excitement, "This could be fun!" they said with glee. I was more cautious, more wary. And lo and behold, my pessimism was rightly placed. With American slowly forcing their way back in the game, on 40 minutes, Fulham's Clint Dempsey fired in a speculative shot towards goal. Rob Green caught it. That he did. What he also did was drop it, as the ball bounced behind him and into the goal farcically, leaving him, and England, reeling.

The knee-jerk reaction would be to holler "GREEN OUT!", "ENGLAND FAIL" and various other trite phrases and, whilst his gaffe was unforgiveable, I'd like to make a small case for his defense. The man is young, not terribly experienced on the International scene, and, most importantly, the ball is apparantly a nightmare. This is the consensus amongst all the footballers in the World Cup, goalkeeper, forward, tall or short. Whilst I think that Joe Hart is a better goalkeeper than Green, I don't think benching Green is the solution to all of England's problems.

For one thing, whilst our midfield looked better than I'd feared (both Lampard and Gerrard showed promise and Aaron Lennon had bundles of energy), our defense is still crocked. John Terry cannot be trusted with Wayne Bridge's (not even all that hot) ex-girlfriend, let alone the defensive duties of his country, and despite all the shots we had, precious little of them had any chance of going in. Emile Heskey doesn't seem to know where the goal is, and Wayne Rooney still remains worrying volative. Little went his way today, and he seemed to think it was valid compensation to instead run around and look red-faced; his best Alex Ferguson impression.

Oh, and another thing: Crouchie should've started. Had he started, England would have won. He didn't, and we didn't.

WAKA WAKA.

Although it was two days ago when I watched it, I hadn't gotten round to penning my thoughts on the Glee finale. And my thoughts are, chiefly, that it was lovely. I thought the past couple of episodes (the Lady Gaga one and the Funk one) were both disappointingly flat, so I'm glad the writers picked up for the ending. One thing I really like about Glee is how they paint Sue Sylvester as a cold-hearted bitch 99% of the time, but instead of making her 2D, they do occasionally show her redemptive qualities, and her putting New Directions #1 was so poignant; I wa surprised how much that moved me. The scene with Quinn giving birth was also very well done, could Dianna Agron be any more perfect? I always get emotional after giving birth scenes, but that one rivaled Juno in terms of sweetness of teenages having baby stakes. And the music, as ever was perfect - Mr. Schue singing and playing the ukulele to "Somewhere over the Rainbow" was the icing on a very sweet cake. And whilst the message Mr. Schue gave them - that it's not the destination, but the journey - sounds like something picked right out of a Joe McEldry song, you only need look at the friendships and life lessons formed from Glee club to see that he's right. Of course the show's not perfect - gaping plot-holes surround almost every scene (picking the setlist a week before regionals, really?) and the offbeat feal sometimes renders the whole thing a little hard to believe, but I'm willing to overlook the majority of the flaws, because Glee has had me beaming more than most TV shows have for a long, long time.

Top 10 Glee Song Covers
01. Defying Gravity - combined Lea Michele & Chris Colfer version
02. Don't Stop Believing - performance given in regionals (with the key change, goddamn)
03. Dream On - Matthew Morrison & Neil Patrick Harris
04. I Dreamed a Dream - Idina Menzel & Lea Michele
05. 4 Minutes - Amber Riley & Chris Colfer
06. True Colours - whole cast
07. Take a Bow - Lea Michele (the video was cringetastic but I think this song features Michele's best vocal work)
08. Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Matthew Morrison
09. Walking on Sunshine/Halo - the girls
10. Goldigger - whole cast

--

And in case you'd somehow missed it (due to living under a rock, and all), the World Cup began today! I wasn't able to watch the opening ceremony or South Africa vs Mexico, but it sounds like both were brilliant. I was able to watch France vs. Uruguay. Now, I can't speak French, but I was hoping the funking football would do the talking, talking. That it didn't - the match was completely and utterly dire, so boring that me and my brother resorted to making off-colour jokes to pass the time. Hopefully tomorrow - which features my country, England - will bring more thrills.

A few photos from today's opening ceremony and thereabouts:






And finally, I think Cheryl may find she has competition in my heart as the prettiest wag. I've discovered Zaira Nara, Uruguayian footballer Diego Forlan's wag. And she is stunning!

Today's the Day...

...and even google is joining in the jubilation.


To try and tide over my bursting anticiption, I'm watching on BBC iPlayer. It's a terrific blend of factual and comedy, and my beloved Crouchibung's on it!



A couple of things I want to see this World Cup:
- Chelsea players hugging each other throughout (whether they're playing for the same team or not.)
- Gareth Southgate smiling when he does his "punditry" (which I shan't listen to)
- Peter Crouch scoring a goal
- The BBC using Kanye West, Rihanna or Lady Gaga in their musical montages
- One game where there are a tonne of bookings and sendings off a la Netherlands-Portugal in 2006
- One goal scored from the opposition's one half
- One goal that is built up from 15+ successive passes.
- Referees doing silly things (though not against England)
- Crazy goal celebrations

Happy to say, I'll get most of those things ;D

South Africa: a jungle where dreams are made of.

So, the World Cup arrives tomorrow, and I would be lying if I were to say the anticipation wasn't making me a little light-headed. For the past few weeks, since the premiership season ended, nay, before the premiership ended, I've been thinking about precious little else other than how the Drogbas of the world will fare, who will dazzle in South Africa and who will flop, and whether or not England will, once again, crash out on penalties. As a fan of football living in England, I'm lucky in that I can actually attend matches, not to mention watch them on Sky Sports, where the attention and time put on our country's biggest sport is nothing if not meticulous. But there is something even tastier about the World Cup. Partly due, perhaps, to the fact that it only comes once every four years, or maybe that the sweltering heat in the long hot Summer (for some, not Brits, lamentably) brings out a feistier side to us all. The High School Musical factor also plays a part, ie - we all feel "united" in the mutual supporting of our country, whether we're fans of Tottenham or Tranmere Rovers. It's a combination of all these things, and many more, that makes me feel very, very happy, that starting from tomorrow, I shall be treated to a month of non-stop football.

I was out shopping a couple of weeks ago, in New Look, when I spotted these bikinis with the England flag drapped across where the tit would be. The whole thing looked horribly cheap and tacky. Similarly, England flags have infiltrated our roads via car windows and windshields, our clothes via socks, pants and god knows what else, and just about anything you can name: it's been sold with an England flag draped across it. It's embarrassingly crass, but at the same time, I wouldn't have it any other way; the anticipation and influx of marketing is what makes the World Cup what is is. Whilst the hope us England fans have in our National Team can border on delusion, it's also a credit to our passion for the game that England fans love their NT so much despite coming face to face with disappointment so much in the past. This year, there's been a noticeably more subded edge to our predictions; the majority of England fans have ditched the crowing (our below par performances in the previous World Cup and not even being able to qualify for Euro 2008 has put us in our place at long last) and decided, instead, to hope, rather than expect.

The multi-national quality of the World Cup also means that, whether intentionally or inadvertantly, I always come out of it a little more educated about the World and current affairs. I've found out more about the state of the government in North Korea this week alone than I had previously in my sad 20 years of existence. It just completes the experience of the game, I feel, to learn a little more about the players' upbringings and backgrounds. In the same vein, I generally escape the World Cup with a whole new arsenal of foreign words. I did Spanish up to AS-level and got an A, and my decision to drop it for the more Sciencey subjects still jars, even three years on. Xavi, Iker Casillas and Cesc Fabregas will have to refresh my memory with their post-match interviews, which I'm sure will be fine (in more ways than one.)

If experience has taught Bung anything, it is that she is a shit football predictor. After all, my pessimism this season led me to thinking that my beloved Chelseabung would finish third (though I was never so happy to be proved wrong.) The only thing I've ever been remotely good at predicting were the Oscars, and that's because pre-cursors were there to guide me. Nonetheless, I shall try my hand at predicting how this year's tournament will go (of course, now that I've written it out, none of this will happen):

Golden Boot: David Villa

Best Player: Xavi

Most Bookings: Wayne Rooney or John Terry (heh)

From the musical montages set to Duran Duran songs that I know the BBC will put together, to the prospect of seeing players from the same teams come ~head to head~ when representing their countries, to the naff punditry (Gareth Southgate talks football as well as he takes penalties, yet I still find him so utterly hot and would be his Loleeeeeetah any day of the week) and puns galore (The Sun writers, now's your time)... I simply cannot wait for the World Cup.

10 Players I'm Really Looking Forward to Watching in the 2010 World Cup.

Under a week until the World Cup, and I can literally not take the excitement. In the pre-World Cup build-up we've already had heartbreak and disappointment, what with some key players getting injured in the friendlies and warm ups, whilst others have failed to been selected by their country's managers. Of the players that are going, here are the 10 that I'm most excited about seeing in action.

10. Salomon Kalou (Ivory Coast, Chelsea)

Now that Drogba's out of the World Cup (weep), Salomon Kalou could well find himself acting as the key striker for the Ivory Coast. This will be a slight change from his role at Chelsea, where, although he has been deployed as a forward, he has had more experience playing on the wing. Furthermore, whilst the Ivory Coast does still feature some premiership names (Arsenal's Eboue, and Man City's Kolo Toure, their captain in the abscence of Drogba), Kalou is one of the IC's more prominent players, unlike at Chelsea, and it will be interesting to see how he copes with this higher level of responsibility. Many Chelsea fans frequently find themselves banging their heads against the wall when watching Kalou; for all his pace and troubling defenders, some of his crosses leave a lot to be desired, and his finishing fluctuant. But I bloody love him. As you'll discover (to a point ad nauseum), I love footballers who try, and Kalou does just that. Plus I find it totally adorable and refreshing how in this day and age, when many players utter a couple of expletetives when they miss the goal, Kalou just grins sheepishly, and carrys on. It's that kind of cute, angel-faced school prefect behaviour that makes me just want to mother him.

09. Tim Cahill (Australia, Everton)

Arguably one of the best premier league players not playing for a top four side, Tim Cahill has been on the English football scene for 12 years now, six of those with Millwall and six with Everton. On more than one occasion he has been the saviour for Australia in internationals, as he has done with Everton - witness the way he skipped merrily around Man City's defenders in the match this season as if they simply weren't there.  The pacey, energetic way at which he bounds around the pitch is, in itself, not dissimilar to that of a kangaroos. It will be exciting to see how he runs circles around Germany, Ghana and Serbia in the so-called "group of death" (vol1). There's a vol 2 later. :p

08. Park Ji-Sung (South Korea, Manchester United)

I find Park Ji-Sung massively underrated. Whilst I know his erratic performances in front of goal have led to many Manchester United fans to want to punch him, I personally love him for his work ethic and energy. I'm a huge softie for football players who, although not the best, always give 110%, and nobody exemplifies that better than Park. As captain of South Korea, he is the one in the squad with the most experience of football at its highest level (the only other premiership player in the squad is Bolton's Lee Chung-Yong), and the big-game mentality that he has acquired from representing Manchester United in Europe shall surely come in handy when South Korea find themselves face to face with Argentina in the group stages. Also, he's Asian, as am I, so automatic brownie points for that.

07. Ashley Cole (England, Chelsea)

You've got to hand it to Ashley Cole. Quite possibly the most reviled man in England, every football ground he visits is met with animosity at his every touch of the ball, and banter in the form of his ex-wife's song lyrics (Stoke fans sang "We've got to file file file file file for divorce" to him as Chelsea rogered Stoke 7-0 at Stamford Bridge). But with his philandering and being detested, Ashley Cole has also acquired a mighty thick skin. In a season where he started so promisingly, Ashley Cole picked up an ankle injury at Everton in February, around the time when Chelsea needed him the most. He returned towards the end of the season and his four great performances in the remaining matches helped win the league and the FA Cup - but there was a faint trace of regret interwoven with my pride when Chelsea paraded those two trophies around West London. What if, I wondered, Ashley Cole had been fit for those two integral games against Inter in the CL? Could, perhaps, it have been the treble we'd been sporting - and finally have the CL trophy to Chelseabung's name. Anyway, thinking over scenarios that never happened is just a waste of time. Ashley Cole hadn't been fit, and we didn't beat Inter. But, for all his questionble morals "as a person", Ashley Cole is a dynamite of a left-back; both at attacking and defending. Whilst England's right-back, Glen Johnson, has a tendency to dose off - something Aaron Lennon must atone for in midfield if it happens, Ashley Cole barely has that problem. Alert, agile (even at 29) and consistently a threat, it will be terrific fun to see him dancing with the ball with Chelsea team-mate Joe Cole down the left. England don't need a parachute, if we've got him.

06. Wesley Sneijder (Netherlands, Inter Milan)

Sold to Inter from Real for around 15million euros with the money Inter got for their "Ibrahimovic sale", Sneijder made a splash straight away, adapting to Italian football brilliantly and greatly enjoying the role Jose Mourinho gave him as a trequartista behind Eto'o and Milito. It is this attacking trio, along with goals from all over the pitch and Jose Mourinho's machiavellian know-how that guided Inter Milan to the treble, and after all that, one could hardly blame Sneijder for feeling a little... fatigued. But no, the 25-year-old, balding, thrice-divorced Dutchie is having none of that. Having gotten his hands on three major trophies already, he's got his eye on a fourth.

05. Kaká (Brazil, Real Madrid)

It would not be unfair to say that on the whole, Ricky Kaká has had a bit of an underwhelming season for Real Madrid. A lot of this is not the poor boy's fault; unlike at Brazil and AC Milan, where the team was built around him, Kaká found himself having to adapt to a different style of play in Spain, and he has struggled with form-dipping injury throughout the season. Plus, with the hefty price tag burdered on him, anyone would feel a bit nervous. Nonetheless, he will not feel content with how the past season has gone - especially when compared to Cristiano Ronaldo, Real Madrid's other multi-million Euro signing - and will take it upon himself to find redemption in South Africa. Interestingly enough, Kaká and Ronaldo will find themselves face to face in the Group Stages, as Portugal, Brazil, Ivory Coast and North Korea form Group G, the "Group of Death" (vol2). If things don't go as planned, Kaká may find himself talking to god on more than one occasion...

04. Philipp Lahm (Germany, Bayern München)

When Chelsea's Michael Ballack was ruled out of the World Cup with an ankle injury, it added to Germany's already growing injury list of first-team players, what with their first choice goalie Rene Adler nursing a rib injury. Speculation also arose as to who would wear the captain's armband. The smart money was on Stuttgart's Sami Khedira, though Klose, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Lukas Podolski also in for a shout. But in the end, Germany manager Joachim Löw gave the position to pint-sized Philipp Lahm, one of the most baby faced players in the World Cup. A right-footed left-back, he was doing the "playing inside out" thing long before Ashley Young, Craig Bellamy and Damien Duff cottoned onto it, and whilst his minute height occasionally leads to gaps in his defensive game, he usually takes it upon himself to compensate - it was Lahm who scored the equaliser for Germany in their 3-1 friendly victory over Bosnia when he was at fault for the one goal Bosnia conceded. A key stalwart for Germany in their past few tournaments, it will be interesting to see how he fares in South Africa, carrying the weight of representing his country, defending and now captaining on his 5'7" shoulders.

03. Xavi (Spain, Barcelona)

In May, reports broke out that Cesc Fàbregas, the 23-year-old captain of Arsenal, wanted to re-join Barcelona, the club he started at. Whilst his desire to do so is partially justified; as a Spaniard, who can fault him for wanting to go back to his homeland, and season upon season of disappointment with Arsenal can only push him so far, the best argument for Cesc not going to Barca and staying exactly where he is is in the form of Xavi Hernandez, Spain team-mate. They play in similar roles for their teams and with Xavi still at the peak of his powers, I feel that were Fàbregas to be Cataluña-bound, he would be forever playing second fiddle to the man seven years his senior. At 30, Xavi is at the age when footballers are supposed to be declining in physical fitness, but the past season he has had with Barcelona completely counters that. Arguably the best playmaker in the world, his passing is second to none, his link-up play with Barca and Spain team-mate Andrés Iniesta is borderline telepathic, and, for all the plaudits Lionel Messi has won for his many match-winning goals, there is a monster in midfield behind him, quietly doing the integral cogwork.

02. Frank Lampard (England, Chelsea)

Lampard has just had a sensational season with Chelseabung, wherein he has topped his own scoring record with 21 league goals and more assists than any other player. That his reputation as a World class footballer is in refute is just a joke. But anyway. For those of us with eyes and can see how immense Mr. Lampard is, the desire to see him play for England is also intermingled with trepidation for how Capello will handle the Lampard/Gerrard conundrum, something he still hasn't sorted. I have my own ideas but I'm no football manager, so I shall hold my own counsel over the matter (for once). But I do hope Lampard isn't the casualty, because he is an absolute diamond of a footballer. Two years ago, his mother passed away, and six days on from the tragedy he chose to go back to his job as a 'player and play in the crucial CL tie between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge. With the game tied at 1-1, 2-2 on aggregate, a penalty was awarded to Chelsea. Many people could barely watch as Lampard prised the ball away from team-mate Ballack to take the spot-kick. His heart and head must have been all over the place and had he missed, it would have hurt a lot more than any other penalty. But the way he scored the penalty - essentially securing a victory for Chelsea, was transcendent in that, in its own way, also represented a victory for life over death. Tears streaming down his face as he looked upwards to the sky, Lampard won, the haters lost and for me, he is King.

01. Peter Crouch (England, Tottenham Hotspur)

No surprise, really. Peter Crouch turned my head in the 2006 World Cup and worringly, 4 years on, the obsession still hasn't desisted. Between those four years, he has played for three different teams, had good spells and bad but never failed to entertain me. Whilst not the most fashionable of footballers, Crouchie nonetheless epitomizes everything I love about the beautiful game: determination, team spirit and a simple thirst to play football. Some may argue that he's a flat-track bully at international level, but this argument is circular; Crouchie is hardly ever selected to play against the more "difficult" nations and when he does, it is for 4 minutes as a substitute- hardly a reasonable length of time to score in. When given the chance to shine, oh, how he soars; back in 2007 he scored a hattrick against Arsenal (the only other player to achieve such a feat in recent years is Leo Messi), and what a hattrick it was, scored with his left foot, right foot and head. Capello would do well to start Crouch alongside Rooney; Crouchie has a knack of getting himself in the right place at exactly the right time (Manchester City conceding the goal from him that put Spurs in the CL at their expense will attest to that) and his international goal-scoring rate (21 in 38 games) speaks for itself. As an England fan, I'm always wary of over-optimism, but I can't help thinking that with Crouchie as our #9, there could just be a few treats in store for England this Summer.

And players who will be sorely missed...

From top left then clockwise: Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast and Petr Cech, Czech Republic (both Chelsea, Drogba due to injury and Cech due to failing to qualify), Michael Ballack, Germany and Michael Essien, Ghana (both Chelsea, both got injured), Adam Johnson, England (Man City, was selected for the privisional 30-man squad but failed to make it into the 23), Luka Modric and Niko Kranjcar, both Croatia (Tottenham, Croatia failed to qualify) and Shay Given and Richard Dunne, both R.O.I (Man City, Aston Villa, Ireland missed quliaification by an arm)

Beautiful World Cup Art.

Wieden + Kennedy New York commisioned Capetown artists Am I Collective to create 32 murals, each one inspired by one of the 32 countries participating in the World Cup. Some of them are based on national themes, others inspired by film posters. There are my favourites:























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