Crush list, 2.0.

I like to make these random lists, as it's just an excuse to trawl the interwebz for eye candy :3

10. Eden Hazard (footballer, Belgium & Chelsea)

Last Wednesday, Hazard received his first sending off as a professional footballer for kicking 17-year-old Swansea ballboy. "It's child abuse!" cried the puritanical British media. They were conveniently forgetting a few things: 1) Charlie Morgan is 17, a spoilt rich kid who needed putting in his place and had I been Hazard, and 2) replays show that Hazard got the ball, not the rotund boy. But hey, don't let fachts get in the way of some good old fashioned Chelsea slating. 

Anyway, I'm proud of Hazard and that little blot on his otherwise impeccable copybook (he had only received one yellow as a Chelsea player thus far) actually endears the silky Belgian to me more now; he's got #ChelseaDNA.

09. Joe Hart (footballer, England & Manchester City)

No one near the goalpost have swagger like Joe! Mr. Hart has had a somewhat hit-and-miss season so far, especially compared to the high standard he set for himself last season, where his heroics helped Manchester City win the Title, and his attitude at times has led to some to deem him arrogant. But I like that cockiness that Hart has, (if you're that tall, that blonde, chew gum that coolly, in my opinion, you're entitled to some arrogance), and he is at the pinnacle of his fineness when he's laying his big goalkeeping hands on his teammates David Silva, Mario Balotelli, or best of all, Vincent Kompany, his captain. Bonus points: his surname is the shape of sunglasses which I do so love to wear.

08. Harry Styles (singer, One Direction)

Harry Styles, with his cheeky grin and Lolitaesque taste in older ladies, is not to everyone's taste, but I'm extremely fond of him. I also (and this might be delusion) - think he contributes hugely to One Direction's charisma appeal - witness his delivery of "shot me outta the sky, you're my Kryptonite" in One Thing. He should know.

07. Robert Sheehan (actor)

I always found Rob a little annoying in The Misfits, although that wasn't so much his acting as the character he was playing. But in Me & Mrs. Jones, a naff but endearing BBC comedy sitcom, he played a sweet lad, and in doing so, looked so, so much hotter. Plus he walked around in nothing but a towel for quite a few scenes; can't say I complained.

06. Rupert Grint (actor)

Yes, I know Harry Potter is over. I know that. But Grinty will always have a place in my heart. Of the three leads, he is the one who, in the films, I thought was the closest performance to how I imagined the character in the books, and he gave the films a much needed comic relief, particularly when things got super-dark in the latter films. Rupert Grint will always by my favourite ginger.

05. Jamie Redknapp (pundit)

Okay, okay. Redknapp Jr ain't the brightest apple in the tree his football knowledge is shown up on more than one occasion per match, which is pretty embarrassing (although I maintain that Jamie knows more about football than 99% of the football writers of The Guardian trolololololo). But who can say no to those dreamy hazel eyes, sexy stubble and irresistable smile? On more than one occasion when in Marks and Spencer I've wandered over to the cardboard cutout of him and just not moved. :3

04. Zayn Malik (singer, One Direction)

Poor timing, this, as Zayn has just been caught being a love rat, cheating on his girlfriend, a member of Little Mix. But hey, I'm not marrying him. I just like to look. And in his Bambi eyelashes and flawless skin & bone structure, there's a lot to enjoy. Plus his singing has come along a lot in the latest One Direction album - hear the way he belts out "and giiiiiiiirl, you and I, we're bout to make some memories tonight." Who says One Direction can't sing? Eh? EH??!?!??!?!

03. Gary Cahill (footballer, England & Chelsea)

It's with some sheepishness that I have Gaz on here as, when he first joined Chelsea, I was more than a little sniffy about him, not deeming him good enough. But our shy Yorkshireman has more than proved me wrong, blossoming into quite the JT 2.0, and playing wonderfully in the CL final when he was still nursing a hamstring injury (as did David Luiz). Anyway, Gazatron's arms are a work of art, as are his abs and all-round 6'3'' physique. We can even allow his less-than-manly act of getting his teeth whitened. After all, 50 Shades of Gary is our future captain. Ohhhh, Gary. #trollface

02. Louis Tomlinson (singer, One Direction)

I know Louis can't sing. And, unlike Harry, Liam and Niall, doesn't seem to have all that much personality either. But he is still my favourite member of One Direction by quite some distance, especially when he's strutting around in a pair of beige chinos and wearing a T-shirt that brings out his unusual eye colour. What can I say? He's got that One Thing :3

01. Peter Crouch (footballer, England & Stoke City)

Always. He may not be as amazing as he once was, scoring hat-tricks against Arsenal and bicycle kicks as a Liverpool player,  and the winning goal that propelled Tottenham into the CL, but his fabulous sense of humour, easygoing spirit and triffic personality will always render him: my Crouchiebung <333>

HE'S GOT THAT ONE THING.

Peter Crouch, LADDDD.

Baby if you love me, take me to the gas station.

Alright, obligatory list is bloody obligatory. Bung's Crushes of 2012. Then I'll come back at the end of the year and cringe at my terribad taste. ;)

10. Frank Lampard

The one, the only. The man who is a strong contender for my favourite player of all time, just so happens to be one of the most handsome. His distinctive, gorgeous green-blue eyes is just one of the many things that I love about him second only to his countless goals for Chelsea. (Bonus swoon factor: Scotty Parker ain't looking too bad in this gif, either.)

09. Harry Styles

Not sure that I'm actually allowed to fancy this boy seeing as I'm not twelve years old, but oh well, the heart wants what it wants. One flash of Styles' cheeky-chappy grin and my knees go weak. HELLO SAILOR.

08. Joe Hart

Nobody, but nobody, chews gum with more swagger than Joseph Hart. England's Number 1 is also a damn good goalkeeper, and the amount of shameless PDA he has with his City captain Vincent Kompany only goes to boost the beautiful, blonde-haired, blue-eyed lad's appeal. Don't ever stop, boys!

07. Rupert Grint

Mr Grint is pretty much guaranteed tenure on this top 10 list, on the basis that I touched his hand when he was at the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 premiere in Leicester Square, haha. But how can you not love a bit of Rupert Grint? Those wide blue eyes, the striking red hair, and best of all, the fact that he seems like a total laugh to hang out with. Love. <3

06. Jamie Redknapp

Mr M&S needs to train not to make such duff adverts, to drop the fake London accent and not to say embarrassing things on Sky (he thought Suarez was right not to shake Evra's hand, lolwut), and is probably too stupid to ever tax evade, but, unf. Those cheekbones, those eyes, not to mention that nobody, but nobody, werqs a suit better than Jimmy Redknapp. So after everything I just said, he literally doesn't need to train. Wheyyyy.

05. Zayn Malik

The second One Direction member on this list, and not the last either. I regret nothing. One Direction may not have anything new to contribute  to the music industry (although What Makes you Beautiful is a delightfully simple ditty), but the fact that they have three of the most beautiful men on the planet in their group more than makes up for it. Honestly, Zayn's face... *swoon*

04. Ryan Gosling

The Gosling bug hit me when I was watching The Ides of March. I still maintain that he's an older, American, more talented version of Tom Felton, something that absolutely nobody agrees with. But let's just agree that he's an exceptionally versatile and talented actor, who is so very, very fine.

03. Louis Tomlinson (second from the right)

Um, yeah, Louis. *swoons* There are a lot of hot boys in 1D, but the thing about this boy that pushes my buttons even more than Harry and Zayn is the boy-next-door look he sports. In fact, whenever I look at Louis, I see the fact of this boy who I once *adored*. Now, me likening the two of them is probably delusion but there you go. Anyway. Louis.

02. Jose Mourinho

When Jose and Chelsea parted after a spat too many with RA, I won't lie to you, it was like a divorce. I couldn't think about anything our special one. And make no mistake, he is still special. AVB came along and he did an admirable imitation, but he could never quite fill Jose's shoes; the original Special One will always be the blueprint. Haughty, self-serving, Machiavellian, and prone to chatting B/S on more than one occasion, but so, so entertaing with it. A bit craggy now compared to his fine-as-fuq Chelseabung does, but, you still would.

01. Peter Crouch

CROUCHIEBUNG. *____* Between my first getting a crush on him in 2006, so much as gone on and changed in my life, but my devotion to the 6'7" giant has remained constant. I just love the sight of Crouchie smiling, and hope, more than anything, that this loveable sweetheart can come to the Euros this year. Crouchie, to quote Shakira, Tu más que nadie merece ser feliz

And that's that! Ladies tomorrow. :DDDD

Review of the Songs on the “Heart” (S3E13) episode of GLEE

In order they were performed in the show...

01. L-O-V-E performed by Mike and Tina 

It’s always a novelty to hear Harry Shum, Jr sing, and he sings surprisingly well. Jenna Ushkowitz, who is often sidelined by other louder members of the Glee cast, has a terrific quality to her voice and their two voices complement each other perfectly, buoyed by some snappy Fred-and-Gingeresque dance moves as well as hilarious cut-aways to Rory and Artie competing for Sugar’s affections by trying to best each other at giving her tacky Valentines’ presents. 

I particularly liked it when Tina whipped up a paper heart magically and incorporated it into the dance. A-

O Captain My Captain.

With John Terry stripped of the England captaincy today following allegations that he racially abused Anton Ferdinand (a decision that I support, despite my Chelsea allegiances), plenty of names have been put forward as his successor for holding the poisoned chalice of public relations pseudo-purity. 

Rio Ferdinand, Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney are the three most high profile names being put forward. Knowing Capello and his penchant for bowing to public clamour rather than what is best for the team, one of them will likely get the armband.