Restaurant review: PLANET HOLLYWOOD (Piccadilly Circus)

Hey readers! Sorry I’ve been MIA for the last two months; I recently started a job in Finance and absolutely adore it! However, I’m also putting the finishing touches on my PhD, and between that, the 9 to 5 job (where the 5 often extends to much later than 5) and studying for exams that accompany my job, I have had very little time for anything else! Hence the non-existent film discourse. 

My coverage of the 2019 Oscar race will sadly be minimal compared to my extensive coverage this year, although, rest assured, I will find time to watch the key Oscar players, come hell or high water!

Until then, here be a review of Planet Hollywood, a cheery-looking place just of Piccadilly Circus that I have long wanted to visit, if only for its enticing name!

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I bought a deal for a two-course meal for 2 at Planet Hollywood on BuyAGift.com. I got the voucher with a discount, but I will be assessing the dining experience had I paid the price been what it’s retailing at on the website, without a discount, of £40.

With the deal, you’re entitled to two courses out of a starter, a main and a dessert. This is good because it affords flexibility, with those with a fondness for the savoury dishes given the option of starter, and those with a sweet tooth can choose dessert. What’s more, because the portions are quite large (think American-style portions), two courses will fill you, in the same way that it usually takes all three courses of a Café Rouge-style set menu to fill you.

Because I’ve always loved the sour more than the sweet (my personality in a microcosm, right there. #GoneGirl), I opted for starters instead of dessert. I had nachos: 

Bar review: THE ROYAL HORSEGUARDS (Westminster)

I’m working through a huge backlog of restaurants and bars from which I have photos, including places I went to as far back as in 2014!

My trip to The Royal Horseguards was using a Groupon deal, £29 for a pitcher of cocktails and a sharing platter. Here they are pictured below: -

Restaurant review: BYRON (Farringdon)

Having visited the Covent Garden venue of Byron earlier this year (after I saw Patriot’s Day at the cinema), I thought I’d sample the Byron that was closest to my place of work, to compare notes.

I went on a Thursday night, and despite it not yet being the weekend, the place was grossly understaffed. Someone I was with ordered a beer and the waitress completely forgot about it until we prompted her.

Happily, the quality of the food didn’t differ hugely by central London location, meaning that the burgers still delivered. There was a hearty steak in the centre of the bun (default cooked medium rare, but you can stipulate otherwise) a few organic vegetables you wouldn’t find in your McDonald’s burger, as well as French fries that are tasty but palpably not coated in oil as would be the case in your local fast food chain.

Nonetheless, I don’t feel the overall dining experience at Byron Farringdon is worth the near-£20 bill you’d rack for up for a burger, side and a beer. The service was just too capricious for someone who is used to getting her order within 10-20 minutes of ordering, and the waitresses didn’t even have the grace to apologise for their mistakes.

The pot luck that is visiting burger joints in London continues.

Grade: C-

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For all my restaurant and bar reviews, click here.

Restaurant review: MA’ PLUCKER (Soho)

I went to Ma’ Plucker this week to catch up with two girlfriends. To that end, it was a decent venue to choose for a Monday night: not busy, and we picked a spot at the back, where there was enough space around us for us to put our bags (rather than let them get dirty on the floor, which is what would happen at somewhere like Barrafina).

The way that food is ordered under the ‘3 way chicken’ system is that you choose your chicken (rotisserie chipotle, crispy coated buttermilk, pulled slow and low or cheese flan), you choose a base (salad, bun or maple waffle) and finally a side (MP chicken skin gravy, chipotle chilli sauce, Kansas BBQ, herb dressing or maple chilli glaze), and then it’s all cooked and bought out for you.

Because I don’t like mixing sweet and savoury things, and I never order salad when I dine out as I think it’s a waste of money (you can literally buy a bag of cabbages and apply some dressing to it from Tesco for like £2), I had the house bun, with chicken breast. This was how it looked:

The chicken was arid AF

Restaurant review: GILGAMESH (Camden)

Gilgamesh advertises itself as a pan-Asian restaurant, bar and nightclub. I visited it with my brother using a LivingSocial deal that I had bought for £34. The deal entitled us to afternoon tea and free-flowing Prosecco for two hours. I personally tend to find LivingSocial deals more honourable than Groupon ones, and the 'unlimited Prosecco for 2 hours' part of the deal appealed to me.

Restaurant review: BYRON (Covent Garden)

I’ve had mixed fortunes when it comes to burger joints in London. Places like Tommi’s Burger Joint and Prime Burger were so awful I wouldn’t recommend them to my worst enemy, and other venues which don’t specialise in burgers, seem to treat them as an afterthought (Maxwell’s Bar and Grill, be ashamed. Be very ashamed). Still, due to the sheer majesty of the burgers I’ve had such as Bird, I still haven’t up hope in the capital’s ability to produce delicious burgers just yet.

Byron definitely delivered on the burger front. I had the Smoky burger, with the meat cooked medium rare, and that, along with all the ingredients (mature cheddar, streaky bacon, crispy onions, shredded iceberg, pickles and smoked chilli) rendered this a verifiable feast for the taste buds. You know it was tasty because normally I would object to paying £10 for a burger and no sides, but in this case, I feel the money was well spent. The way all the ingredients complemented each other and bought out the succulence of the steak… heaven.

Restaurant review: MAXWELL'S BAR & GRILL (Covent Garden)

Just adjacent to Covent Garden underground station is Maxwell's Bar and Grill an American-style diner of TGI Friday's ilk.

Review: FAST FOOD CORNER and DIXIE CHICKEN (Mile End)

Fast Food Corner

Situated very handily next to Mile End tube station, FFC kindly offers a 10% discount for students, meaning I got the meal pictured above for £3.40 rather than £3.80 (another nice touch is that they rounded down rather than being awkward and charging £3.42, haha).

I had the spicy chicken burger (a little boldly, given my sinuses don't take to hot food too well), and it was absolutely delicious! The best thing about it was the unique flavour; it tasted wildly different from any other chicken burger I've ever had, but in a good way.

The chicken, which must have been cooked in some kind of secret sauce, was trembling with flavour, and put its far more expensive, but not at all comparable in quality counterparts, such as Prime and Tommi's Burger Joint, to complete shame. I will definitely be popping back here next time I'm in Mile End. A.

... which means I will be avoiding Dixie Chicken like the plague.

The chicken burger here tasted as undercooked as the ones in Prime Burger and Tommi's Burger Joint, yet this burger didn't feature the vegetables employed to try to give the impression of being a salubrious option, as those pricier places boasted. Chips were stale and tasteless, too.

The only redeeming feature of eating here is that it's cheap (this meal was £2.70), but for £1.99 with a voucher from Metro, you can get a McChicken burger and fries (and buy your drink somewhere else, e.g. a Tesco, beforehand), which is much more price-conscious. And at McDonald's, they at least make sure the chicken in the burger is cooked before serving it to you. D.

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All my other fast food reviews are listed here.

Review: PRIME BURGER (Kings Cross)

My best friend Anna and I were absolutely famished after drinking some wine today, so unfortunately we weren't in a strong bargaining position in terms of discerning for decent places to eat. As we'd met at St Pancras train station and didn't want to travel too far, we settled for Prime Burger, thinking you couldn't go too wrong with a burger. I was wrong; this place runs Tommi's Burger Joint close for one of the worst of its kind in London.

I had the Classic chicken burger, which, just like the one I'd had at TBJ, was horrendously undercooked; the meat was a suspicious shade of pinkish white. Oh dear. The menu promised 'onions', but I don't count one infinitesimal sliver of onion, clearly stuck in as an afterthought 'onions', and the lettuce was haphazardly applied and an inspiring addition.

Small mercies came in the form of the chips, which I wolfed down, because at the front of the counter (where you collect your order), there was malt vinegar, which I doused on my chips like a pyromaniac ought to douse kerosene on  Wolf of Fleet Street certain Guardian football writers' Audis. I absolutely adore malt vinegar with my chips, and don't understand why there wasn't a container of them on every table, rather than just one at the front.

Then again, I don't know how they could have charged £11.05 for that ensemble above, when the burger was paltry, unedifying and poorly presented.

For five pounds less, you can have an actual chicken burger from KFC (you know, one with flavour). Do it. Your stomach - and bank balance - will thank you.

Grade: D-

A compendium of my restaurant reviews can be found here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com and I'll see what I can do.

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As mentioned in the introduction, I had an ace meet up with my girl Annabung today. Here we are (quick OOTD!): -

Earrings: Accessorize

T-shirt: Hollister

Cardigan: H&M

Glasses: Twiggy for Aurora

Advert vs the Real Thing: KFC Stacker burger.

I gotta say, the advert looked a lot different from the reality: the chicken strips were pouring out of the burger and cheese was dripping temptingly onto the meat, as opposed to the pitiful small slice of cheese pictured above. Finally, the bap in the advert was pert and full of volume. The top bap of my burger looked like it'd given up and died.

False advertising mark out of 10: 6. It did look very different, but still tasted delicious (I had two last week!), so at least it delivered on that front.

Restaurant review: MILDRED'S (Soho)

Mildred's doesn't take reservations, which almost instantly signals alarm bells to me. The only place that has been an exception to the 'Places which don't take bookings offer terrible service to their diners' has been the excellent On the Bab; everywhere else which doesn't take bookings has shown, quite starkly, that if they don't care about making customers stand in the freezing cold waiting to get fed, they definitely won't think twice about ignoring you if you require the waiter's attention. Mildred's, lamentably, didn't go any way towards disproving that prima facie.

Mildred's is a vegetarian restaurant in Soho, and it will feed you, but, unless you make over £100,000 a year, wear an Armani suit and stockpile the alcohol order, the waiters will look at you like a piece of trash and act like you ought to be grateful that they're gracing you with their company. It also squashes all their punters in like sardines so they can maximise revenue, meaning that the sound of other people's conversations regularly intrude on the one you're conducting.

The burger was reasonably priced at £7, but the chips, which at £3 for twice as much photographed above, felt like a bit of a con. The waiter practically sneered at me and my friend when we said we were going to share a portion of fries, which was not cool. Excuse us for having the audacity to order food of our own volition(!)

I would be lying if I were to say I didn't enjoy my burger; it was plenty tasty and the texture was on point. I liked the enterprising display of flatbread rather than a bun. What a shame then, that the snooty service I'd received from the waiter, who clearly took one look at us and decided we weren't his income level of choosing, had left some a sour taste in my mouth. When we left the restaurant, they didn't even say 'goodbye', but instead, just threw us a 'and don't come back again' look.

I also don't appreciate the presumptuous way they stick on a 12.5% service charge. The service we received at Mildred's (being eye-rolled at, having our requests for water and serviettes all but ignored) was non-existent, bordering on counterproductive to our dining experience. The only beneficial contribution our waiters made were to carry our orders from the kitchen to our table without dropping it. A bit of a stretch at 12.5%, if you ask me.

If you're looking for decent vegetarian nosh but would rather it didn't come with a side order of hauteur, I'd recommend you go to the nearby Tidbits instead. There's a much more down-to-earth, hospitable atmosphere there.

Grade: D+

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All of my restaurant and bar reviews are listed here. Email me at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com if you would like me to review your venue!

BBQ Time.

Last Tuesday and Friday, I attended two BBQs (the second was immediately after the Sports Day).  Thought I'd post the foodporn from the two events!

Tuesday

I erroneously thought those two pieces of butter at the bottom of the plate were cheese, haha. Oops! The beef in this burger was insane, Five Guys, who? Hidden under all the vegetables is also some tomato/salsa-type dip, which really gave the vegetables an extra kick.

Friday

The filling in this burger was chicken, and the pieces had been pre-sliced, so they fit into the gap easier. The salad was very healthy, but I would have liked to have seen more in the way of sauces to give it a bit of flavour.

RESTAURANT REVIEW: On the Bab (Shoreditch)

Readers of my blog will be all too aware that I don't have much time for restaurants who make their punters queue up. I just feel it brazenly declares that the restaurant cares more about making money than it does about the culinary experience of the people dining there. And The Table Cafe, one such restaurant which operated on the no-booking policy, proved to be a complete disappointment. Queuing up in the rain for this restaurant, I was struck with a sense of déjà vu and feared that, for the second time, I would have stood in the cold for ages, only to be served a below-par meal like a mug.

Fortunately, things didn't work out like that; I'm happy to say that On the Bab went some way towards restoring that balance in the Universe. Korean food is one of my favourite cuisines, and some of my favourite restaurants in London are delightful Korean places which offer fantastic value for money (there is a fantastic cluster of such restaurants around Tottenham Court Road, offering a much more palatable alternative to the over-baked American diners that are littered around the capital). On the Bab, which has chains in Shoreditch, Covent Garden and Marylebone, is another such place.

I cannot recommend the 'On the Buns' enough, which are Korean-style burgers, fill to the brim with goodness (you can choose between chicken, pork or beef; we went for the latter), and on delicious steamed bread with vegetable fritters to give the concoction extra texture (and nutritional value). 

Practically everybody in On the Bab had a 'Yangyum chicken' on their table, which was, no hyperbole, the best fried chicken I've ever had. Admittedly, my bar is quite low (I would happily feast on KFC every day for the rest of my life), but this was cooked so meticulously, drenched in some of the most moreish sauce I've ever sated, that I simply had to order another portion. The crushed peanuts worked a treat in this dish as well - it's not usually an ingredient I have much time for, but, applied sparingly to the fried chicken, it managed to bring out the flavour of it more.

No Korean meal is complete without a Bibimbab, and the succulent conflation of flavours (pictured in closer detail in the Snapchat picture at the top of this entry) was a flavourful party in my mouth, to which all my favourite foods was invited. And best of all, the items we ordered didn't feel like disparate entities. You could have a bit of this and then a bit of something else, and it all tasted fantastic.

My only slight criticism of this place was that we were sat on a side-stool rather than a table, and thus, there really wasn't enough space to place all the food we'd ordered, the cocktails, our cutlery and our plates. But I'll allow On the Bab his shortcoming and not let it detract from their Perfect A grade, because, in terms of dining experiences in London, this is one of the best places I've had the good fortune of visiting.

Grade: A

Review: TOMMI'S BURGER JOINT (Marylebone)

Oh dear Lord. I just have to alert the world to one of the worst burger joints I've ever had the misfortune of visiting.

The second I walked into Tommi's Burger Joint, I knew something was amiss. The floors and tables looked dirty. The sales staff there barely acknowledged me, and those who did, on seeing I was alone, didn't give me the usual polite waiter smile, as they probably thought they wouldn't swindle that much out of me.

I, however do think they swindled a fair bit out of me. I had the chicken burger, which, priced at £8.90, was certainly not cheap, particularly as you can get something much more delicious at McDonalds for a quarter of the price.

It was one of the most vile, rancid, burgers I've ever had in my entire life. There was a thick slab of chicken in the burger, but on one bite, I saw it was pink inside. Pink!!! It was textbook undercooked, flavourless meat that someone trying to cook for the first time whips up.

The other fillings in the burger were also absolutely horrendous. The onions (one of my favourite ingredients and thus, quite hard to get wrong) that accompanied the meat were uncooked. Who puts uncooked onions into a burger!? The tomatoes were unevenly distributed and soggy, leading me to believe I had the bastard leftovers.

Also, there was guacamole in the filling. Now, I don't know what kind of weird hipsters dine here, but what's wrong with, gee, I don't know, traditional sauces, such as BBQ or tomato ketchup? BBQ sauce would at least have given the burger some flavour.

I love burgers, and am generally quite easily pleased (I could gladly dine at Burger King for the rest of my life). But I wouldn't wish a trip to Tommi's Burger Joint on my worst enemy. The service was bad, the food was atrocious, and it was overpriced for what it was. Nah, mate.

Grade: F

Restaurant review: CABANA (Shepherd’s Bush)

A day out shopping in London just isn’t the same without a fulfilling meal at the end of it, and Brazilian barbecue chain Cabana has set up sticks in both Westfield Stratford and the Shepherd’s Bush venue, which is the one I visited. With colourful, welcoming interiors, and jaunty Portuguese crooners singing in the background, I probably would have paid it a visit sooner rather than later, but the fact that they accepted Tastecard made eating there even more desirable.

At the time we visited, Happy Hour was also taking place, and I had a Red Tail Parrot, which went down a treat (but was suspiciously lax on the alcohol, disappointing, given it cost £7). My friend had the Dream Team 1970, which he wasn’t a big fan of, but I thought was fine – the bitterness suited the taste of the cocktail.

As for the food, starters were delicious but far too small had they retailed at the price in the menu, sans Tastecard. £3.95 for three small little rice balls simply didn’t impress. Throughout our time in Cabana me and Joe likened it to Nando’s (despite the latter being Portuguese, the former Brazilian), and whilst Nando’s is a bit overpriced for what it is, at least I wouldn’t feel awful eating there without a Tastecard. Cabana’s prices are fine with Tastecard, but without, nothing short of extortionate. I ate my starters in no more than four bites.

As for the pulled pork burger I had for the main meal, I wasn’t sold. Pulled pork is one of my favourite ingredients, and I’ve had many a delicious meal from my old work canteen with pulled pork in it, and my mouth still waters when I think about the pulled pork from Joe’s Southern Kitchen. I don’t even know how you can get it wrong. But the pulled pork from Cabana was lamentably, on the tasteless side. Pro tip to the chefs in Cabana: sticking a Brazil flag on a tasteless, tiny burger doesn't make it more succulent or larger.

Overall, I’d recommend the place if you have a Tastecard, but sadly it doesn’t pass the ‘would I eat there for the original prices posted on the menu?’ acid test. The food was perfectly satisfying, but take a look at the picture of the burger for yourself – is that worth £10?

Grade: B

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here. If you would like me to review your restaurant, drop me an email at lemon_and_lime7@hotmail.com

Restaurant review: SEATON RESTAURANT (Weston-super-Mare)

Just off the pier in a vibrant seaside town is Seaton Restaurant, an extremely hospitable and charming restaurant that I would recommend to all who visit Weston.

The menu is extremely varied, featuring famous Greek dishes, homemade burgers, as well as seaside must-haves such as fish and chips and knickerbocker glories. 

Three mini restaurant reviews: LEONG'S LEGENDS (Leicester Square), TGI FRIDAY's (Leicester Square) and THAI THO (Ealing)

Leong's Legends (Leicester Square)

A friendly enough place with some amazing starters (the egg tofu thing photographed above was by far the highlight) as well as nice ambiance with its cheesy pop soundtrack and fast waiter turnover rendered Leong's Legends overall a pleasant, if not earth-shattering, culinary experience. 

Restaurant review: GBK (Covent Garden)

A colleague at work raved to be about Gourmet Burger Kitchen, and as I love a good burger (I’ve eaten three McDonald’s this week), I couldn’t wait to try the place out. However, the experience turned out to be a massive disappointment, although the quality of the burgers are the least of GBK’s problems.

Three mini-restaurant reviews: KOBA (Soho), GARFUNKEL'S (Greenwich) and KNIGHTS OF ST JOHNS (Clapham Junction)

Koba (Soho)

A wonderful restaurant, easily one of favourite of the last couple of years!