Mild 12s.

I spotted this arrangement in my local charity shop a few weeks ago, and greatly applaud the craftsmanship to arrange the films by BBFC rating!

Whilst perusing charity stores and DVD exchange shops, I noticed this on the back of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air DVD boxsets:

What was noteworthy about these two were that they flagged 'mild sex references', yet 12s are usually 12s due to moderate reasons! Bizarre.

Because I'm a stickler for random BBFC trivia, here are more 12s with mild reasons flagged in the short insight. I will update as and when I come across new ones.

I've also nerded out to 15s which had no strong components, post here.

Film review: SUICIDE SQUAD (David Ayer, 2016)

Amanda Waller (Viola Davis), a shrewd government official, opines that in the case of the recently deceased Superman, they'd gotten lucky, as he was a superhero who shared their ideals, thus, played on their side. The next time, she argues, the superhero might not be so compliant with them.

A master tactician, she plans several moves ahead: assemble a group of metahumans, 'the worst of the worst', to do the government's dirty work for them. If they fail, they die. If they succeed, these individuals can have some time off their prison sentences.

This motley crew, the titular 'Suicide Squad', includes Will Smith as Deadshot, a paid for assassin who's accuracy with a rifle is unparalleled; Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, Joker's girlfriend who's even more mental than he is; Jay Hernandez as Diablo, a man blessed/blighted with pyrokinesis; Jai Courtney as a mercenary robber Captain Boomerang; and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc, a human-reptile hybrid.

The Suicide Squad are headed by a surly, non-nonsense soldier who holds his criminal squad in utter contempt, Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman, quite the babe *swoons*). Rick won't take crap from anyone, but unfortunately for him, Amanda Waller has his balls in a vice due to Rick's girlfriend, archeologist June Moone, being the host body of a 5000-year-old witch called Enchantress (Cara Delevingne, living proof that partying with celebrities and nepotism can get you places). Waller has Enchantress' heart, and Enchantress possesses June's body, who in turn possesses Rick's heart. Phew!!!

The convoluted plot setup is reflected in the first act of the film, which takes rather too long to get to the action, and under-develops several character's story arcs, preventing the audience from forming an attachment to them. But that was always going to be an occupational hazard of translating such an ambitious, multi-faceted comic book to the screen, and at least the overarching message, of that of the blurred lines between good and evil, has been retained.

Suicide Squad makes for a very entertaining watch, even if the over-reliance in CGI is at times a little distracting. The occasionally over-done visuals are enhanced, however, by a slick soundtrack, featuring everything from Queen to Eminem. Two songs which play over the credits, “Heathens” and “Sucker for Pain” will go down in pop culture folklore, for how well they were employed in the advertising for Suicide Squad (the latter, on a Snapchat filter!). The watchability of the movie as a piece of entertainment is also largely thanks to the ensemble cast, who are, bar one jarring exception, all pretty great.

The star of the show is Viola Davis, whose superior acting and Juilliard credentials lends gravitas to even the corniest of Hollywood lines. She's a natural, and Davis completely embodies Waller's Machiavellian personality and her cool-as-a-cucumber demeanour. Her formidable screen presence carries her throughout, and even when her character is in danger, Davis never lets even an inkling of fear creep into her visage.

Will Smith is also very good as Deadshot. He's never not been cool, even back in his Fresh Prince days, but it's his scenes with his cute daughter, his one weakness (and his justification for only accepting hits on men, never women or children) that ground his character. Similarly, Jay Hernandez as Diablo illustrates how his skills with fire aren't so much a gift as an affliction, in a tragic subplot which I’m not ashamed to say I shed a tear over.

Margot Robbie is deliciously nutty as Harley Quinn. Much has been made of the update in her attire from harlequin outfit to stilettos, a ripped T-shirt sporting 'Daddy's Little Monster' and the shortest of hotpants, but it's not what she wears (or doesn't wear) that lingers in your impression as Harley. What I'll remember is her mannerisms, ranging from the wicked cackle to the sly winks, as well as the casual panache with which she beats up the badder baddies with her trusty baseball bat. Adding to the element of girl power is Karen Fukuhara as Flag's personal bodyguard, a samurai sword-wielding lady who takes no prisoners. As an actual martial arts champion, Fukuhara makes a fierce impression, doing her east Asian sisters proud.

Unfortunately, Nepotism Delevingne proved my doubts about her suitability for the part of Enchantress completely correct. Not content with having stunk the place out in Paper Towns (voted my second least favourite performance of 2015, holla), her performance here is a bad conflation of flared nostrils to emote, a weird, booming voice, and, in the last act, gyrating so earnestly you'd think it was tryouts for a hula-hooping contest. Her terrible acting even impairs other performances: because her and Joel Kinnaman had such stunted chemistry, you just weren't engaged in their relationship, which is problematic as it represents one of the main incentives of one of the characters.

I feel it may be a tad rich to criticise someone for getting where they were through their connections, given one of my friends, Dominic, liked to joke that the only reason I got accepted on my Masters was because my father used to work at the University.

Regardless of the veracity of that claim, at least I worked hard on my Masters once I got in. I'm not getting that vibe from Delevingne, an individual who's modelling work I am actually a great fan of. There’s no denying she’s a striking girl; it takes something special to out-shine even Margot Robbie at the London premiere of Suicide Squad. But Cara, honey, in movies, it's not enough just to be pretty.

So you wore a bikini and showed gameness for writhing around. There's way more to acting than that. Compare Delevingne's wooden acting here to that of Elizabeth Olsen as the Scarlet Witch in the Marvel movies. Both played comic book witches, but whereas Olsen was convincing, injecting humanity and depth into Wanda, Delevingne brings nothing to Suicide Squad other than maybe Taylor Swift or the Jenners doing an Instagram post about it, if she's lucky, and detracts from the overall quality by being in it. #SayNoToCaraDelevingneInFilms

That gripe aside (and it's a pretty big one; Cara is so poor it's hard to focus on any scene she's in), I can see what David Ayer was trying do with Suicide Squad. Due to the sheer volume of ambition, he didn't achieve all his aims. But a couple of bombastic set pieces, witty lines of banter between members of the squad, an onrunning kid-unfriendly tone (still celebrating that 15 certificate) and the entire cast bar that blonde model woman bringing their A-game, makes this a thoroughly silly ride.

6/10

5 Brief Cinema Reviews.

Men In Black 3

The third instalment of the terrifically fun sci-fi action series, although this time round Tommy Lee Jones does not feature that match, and his younger re-incarnation in the form of Josh Brolin does. Will Smith does the Will Smith thing better than anyone else and he and Brolin have terrific chemistry (better, arguably, than Smith and Lee Jones do), and the plot itself is very well-thought out and entertaining. There was a twist at the end which unexpectedly drew a tear from me, and the villain Boris is played with gusto by Jemaine Clement. Oh and there’s even time for a fabulous cameo by Nicole Scherzinger at the start! Great fun, recommended. B+.

What to Expect when You’re Expecting

The main draw to this pregnancy themed romcom is, obviously, the glittering cast. Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Mr Schue off Glee, Dennis Quaid, Anna Kendrick, as well as Chace Crawford for some serious swoon points and Cheryl Cole in a camero so poor that you almost wish she'd stick to singing - then you remember what she sings like. The inter-weaving plotlines regarding various families trying to have a baby in Atlanta (as well as Diaz and Morrison’s plot strand in California) go quite well, and there are some well-done tonal modulations (Anna Kendrick is radiant, as ever.) However, the subplot with the “dad club” run by Chris Rock is just extremely irritating; we’re supposed to believe those fathers have ~swagger? It doesn’t work. Furthermore, I found myself engaged in the plots with differing degrees (Kendrick/Crawford: a lot, Diaz/Morrison: not at all). It’s a romantic comedy that tries to be serious but doesn’t even get the jokes right. C.

The Dictator

Ahhhh, now this WAS funny!! Bruno was a serious mishap in Sacha Baron Cohen’s attempt to re-reach Borat levels of hilarity, but in The Dictator, he’s found his mojo again. He plays General Aladeen, a despotic and rather crazy and deluded dictator of a fictional country. He goes to New York to tear up a peace treaty, aided by his right hand man Ben Kingsley (who is secretly plotting his death). In his botched torture (the failed torture is carried out by cinema’s original loser, John C Reilly), he escapes and finds salvation in Anna Faris’ organic food shop. As with Borat and Bruno, there is no limits to the people who The Dictator offends. But I guess that’s why I found it so funny. Furthermore, unlike Borat, there is an actual plot, an actual adventure, which makes The Dictator marginally more interesting than its predecessor. Plus you just have to pay the admission price to see Cohen and Ben Kingsley snog. B.

Marvel’s Avengers Assemble

A delightfully entertaining mishmash of superhero characters featuring Robert Downey Jr’s self absorbed Tony Stark (Iron Man), Chris Evans’ earnest Steve Rogers (Captain America), Mark Ruffalo’s calm Bruce Banner (the Incredible Hulk) and Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow. There’s witty repartee aplenty (one line that had us all guffawing in the audience was “We need a plan of attack!” “I’ve got a plan – attack”) and the visuals are to die for, not to mention the finale showdown in New York, which features some eye-watering CGI and chase sequences. Emotionally, I was left wanting, but from a Hollywood Blockbuster, Avengers is as entertaining as they come, with a truly delicious villain in the form of rising British star Tom Hiddlestone. B+

Snow White and the Huntsman

Oh dearrr. So dull was this film that it took me a good 120 minutes to realise that Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in Avengers, was the Huntsman in this film, trololololo. Yeah, I was just massively disappointed, especially as the trailer had made this film look epic. My brother pointed out, quite fairly, that one of the biggest failures of the film was that Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is supposed to be more beautiful than Ravena (Charlize Theron), and pretty as Stewart is, Charlize Theron is infinitely more beautiful than her, particularly with the fabulous outfits, hair and make-up she sports in this film. Aside from that I was just utterly bored, there were a few action sequences worth a damn but it all seemed rather out of place in a film based on a fairytale. I wasn’t even piqued by the set of Ray Winstone and Eddie Marsdan as dwalves, that’s how dull this film was. F.

I Need a Gun, 'Cos all I Do is Dance.

I know, I know, I've been a bit of a no-show with this blog for the past month or so, and it's really, really not on. Unfortunately, that isn't going to change any time soon, as I'm jetting off to Italy with my family this Friday for a few days. But, for now, have four mini-reviews of the films I've watched recently.



Step Up (Anne Fletcher, 2006)
Channing Tatum plays Tyler, your token disillusioned youth from the wrong side of the tracks who wastes his days being a juvenile delinquent with his two friends, brothers Mac and Skinny. One evening, they are caught vandalising a hall in the Maryland School of Arts. Mac and Skinny escape, but Tyler is punished with community service as a janitor at said school. In doing his duties, he crosses paths with pretty and talented but uppity teenager Nora (Jenna Dewan), who's dream it has always been to be a dancer. When her dance partner for the upcoming danceshow injures himself, it (predictably) sets Tyler up for a chance to show that he's more than just a troublemaker. Despite the background differences between the two, when they dance, sparks fly, and the two protagonists find themselves drawn towards each other as more than just dance partners.

As you'd expext, a film like this is fairly low on plot and dialogue, and puts all of the weight on the dance scenes, which are indeed sublime. The finale in particular, is spectacular, as a group of 20+ dancers, led by Tatum and Dewan, fuse streetdance, hip-hop and ballet to the intrumental track of Yung Joc's "Bout it". It's forgettable fodder for the most part, but the dance scenes really are worth a re-watch.

Toy Story 3 (Lee Unkrich, 2010)

Needless to say, Woody and Buzz's owner, Andy, can't be eight forever, and there must be a time when he goes to college. The time has arrived in Toy Story 3, and each of his toys - even his favourite, Woody, knows that they are living on borrowed time. However, they under-estimate their worth to Andy, for, whilst he only wishes to bring Woody with him to college, he still plans to keep the rest of his toys in the attic. But due to a stream of misunderstandings, the remaining toys get tossed out and end up in a day care centre. Whilst this new surrounding initially seems promising - plenty of eager children wanting to play with the toys in ways that Andy no longer does - the debutante toys soon realise that it is only children in the butterfly room who actually know how to play with toys. The kids in the caterpillar room - the room they've been shoved in - is occupied by toddlers, toddlers who don't treat the toys well. At all.

I had a bit of a love/hate relationship with Toy Story 2. I disliked it for aaaages, until one day, I had sudden craving to give it a re-appraisal, and I immediately fell back in love with it. My relationship with the first film is more straightforward: it was the first film I saw in the cinema in England, and loved it. It is a similar case with this film, which was choc-a-bloc full with joy, humour and banter between the toys. I'm not ashamed to admit I tore up twice, and was moved throughout by the loyalty and fraternity between the toys. The ending was one of the most bittersweet in film, but I adored it. And the cameo of a Totoro doll pretty much epitomized the film's awesomeness.

The Karate Kid (Harold Zwart, 2010)

Will Smith's kid plays Dre, a 12-year-old boy who's single mother has relocated them to China. He hates it there, he neither speaks the language, nor gets on with anybody around (except a pretty Chinese girl of his age who is similarly drawn to him). His interest in said girl is what gets him off on a bad foot with the resident bully. Dre, a feisty boy, is never one to take abuse lying down, yet, in their first fight, Dre easily comes off worse, sporting a brutal black eye which he proceeds to try to - and fail - to hide from his mother (played by Taraji P. Henson with the touch of maternal warmth she exhibited in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button). After one particularly bruising encounter with the group of bullies, the grouchy janitor (played by Jackie Chan) steps in, quietly opens a can of whoopass, and becomes Dre's mentor for the upcoming karate tournament.

I forwent Inception to see this film, as it was on my dad's birthday and he loves Jackie Chan, and to be honest, I'm totally sure that I would have preferred the other film. Though, that said, I still had a relatively good time with The Karate Kid. Jaden Smith, who was cute and cuddly in The Pursuit of Happyness but didn't convince me he was capable of much past that, more than carries the film here, both in his natural acting as well as his dedication to the fight scenes. Jackie Chan, who's fight moves I adore but I'd never rated very highly as an actor, also surprises here, particularly in the scene with the car, a scene which actually moved me to tears. Like Step Up, it's a fairly predictable, forgettable set-up, but thanks to a fun soundtrack and brilliant chemistry between the two leads, good fun whilst it lasts.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Thor Freudenthal, 2010)
Zachary Gordon stars as Greg Heffley, a boy entering middle school. He's determined to make a name for himself and be as popular as possible, and if this involves re-inventing his loyal but unfashionable best mate Rowley Jefferson (played with affable charm by Robert Capron). The film follows him as his attempts to show how popular and cool he is fall flat each time, with each attempt just landing him further and further away from his aim. It's a simple enough movie with a simple enough message: don't become so preoccupied with the superficial that you forgo the things that really matter, and a cool turn from the ever-lovely Chloe Moretz (MUST watch Kick-Ass!)