Something that goes together about as well as Cara Delevingne and Dane DeHaan.

The only difference is, unlike Delevingne and DeHaan, I enjoy gin (with a tonic) and cream soda ordinarily.  But sampled together, you get one steaming pile of Bye Felicia. The problem is that the cream soda has quite a mild taste, which does nothing to mask the strength of the gin. And it certainly doesn't complement.

So yes, because these two liquids were an absolute fail working together, I'm going to have to refer to Cream Soda + Gin as 'The Valerian'.