Statistical Analysis of the 141 films I watched in 2017, with BBFC analysis.

Just like last year, when I put my hard-earned coding skills into practice by analysing all the marks I’d awarded every film I watched in 2016, I repeated the process again this year.

The arithmetic mean of the 141 films was 6.64, a fractional increase from last year, meaning that my discernment skills to have improved slightly. That being said, the lowest mark out of 10 I gave last year was a 2, whereas I gave 1/10 to two films this year, and zero out of 10 to one, Darren Aronofsky’s bloated stinker, mother!, which is the worst film I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and featured that movie ingredient that I am so averse to: Jennifer Lawrence screaming her head off.

The 10 Most Attractive Women in a 2017 Film.

For every new year that I do this, I’m going to mention whether there was any movement from the actress on the list in the previous year! I like doing these lists because it means that even when I watch films that ultimately irk me (like the almost unwatchably bad Song to Song), I don't regard it as a complete waste of time, because it all counts as research for the blog :)

I haven’t seen Blade Runner 2049, but had I, Ana de Armas would easily make the list and be a strong contender for first place. Her rosebud lips and big green eyes are out of this world! (I have a thing for green eyes. ohai Tim!)

10. Halle Berry, Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle (new entrant)

Thoughts on the 2018 Oscar Nominations

The Oscar nominations came out yesterday, and, in part because I post on an ‘Oscar Buzz’ Facebook group where the prize for correctly predicting as many categories as possible was a Dunkirk DVD, I actually put some welly into thinking through my predictions this year, rather than some really counter-logical guesses I made last year, purely because I hoped they’d happen (Taraji P. Henson for Best Actress, and Lucas Hedges’ scowling in Manchester by the Sea to not get nominated, etc).

There wasn’t a snub that riled me as much this year as last year when Amy Adams got overlooked for Arrival (yes, I'm still mad). What’s more, of the Best Picture nominees that I’ve seen, none irked me as much as Manchester by the Sea and Blah Blah Bland did, so, whilst there were films I disagreed to getting nominated on principle (like I, Tonya), overall, I really can’t complain! 🎬

Oscar nomination predictions, 2018.

The Oscar nominations come out tomorrow, and, as movie award commentary is one of the chief functions of my blog, I thought I’d predict them! The rankings are from most to least likely.

Saoirse Ronan and Beanie Feldstein (Jonah Hill's sister!) in Lady Bird

Best Film
01. The Shape of Water
02. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
03. Get Out
04. Dunkirk
05. Lady Bird
06. Call Me By Your Name
07. The Post

I forsee there being 7 nominees in Best Picture, but with the expanded Best Pic facilitating as many as 10 nominees, the extra predictions, should there be that many nominees...
08. Phantom Thread
09. The Florida Project
10. I, Tonya

I, Tonya has been performing very well with the Guilds (nominations for Producers Guild, at the WGA and Editing), but I'm hoping that what is ultimately a morally bankrupt movie which makes light of a woman complicit in her opponent having her kneecaps smashed in doesn't get enough #1 votes to make the Best Film shortlist!

Remember Me (and my country's classification issues).

Me after watching Timothée Chalamet's fantastic musical skills in Call Me By Your Name!

I watched Pixar's latest creation, Coco, on Friday, and was utterly charmed by it. Funny, colourful, inventive, and featuring an exquisite score and some moments that had my eyes flooding with tears, it's a return to form after some phoned-in sequels (Finding Dory, Cars 3).

A peach of a request.

The only thing this Movie Ratings Obsessive enjoys more than e-mailing the BBFC, is emailing the BBFC while picturing Timothée Chalamet, gorgeous star of Call Me By Your Name and set to become the third youngest man to receive a Best Actor Oscar nomination next Tuesday, at the age of 22, being intimate with a peach.

Hair styling attempts: trying to curl my hair to look like Jessica Chastain's at the Golden Globes.

I loved Jessica Chastain's look at the Golden Globes on Sunday, so I tried to replicate those curls on my own hair. Due to time constraints, I didn't have time to use the hair curler, so just tied my hair up in a tight bun immediately after I washed it, used a hairdryer until it was partially dry, and kept it in the bun until the evening, which is when the photo was taken.

I daresay it looked better on Jess, but hey-ho, it's fun to try new things!

As for the OOTD...

Sweater/shirt combo: Debenham's

Glasses: Red or Dead

Earrings: TK Maxx

The 10 Fittest Chaps in Film, 2017.

Although I'm yet to see quite a few of the major Oscar contenders, I've had a peruse of the list of films, and, eye candy-wise, I think I've seen everything I need to see to compile this list. 2017 was an extremely fine (in more ways than one, ehehe) year for handsome men in film. 

I could even compile a top 10 hottest from men who didn't make the list, as some men who didn't quite make the cut but were certainly not difficult on the eyes include: Oscar Isaac in The Last Jedi,  Luke Evans as Gaston in Beauty and the Beast (shite film tho), Dave Franco and Zac Efron in The Disaster Artist, Sam Claflin in My Cousin Rachel, Armie Hammer in Call Me By Your Name (tbf, if it was on hotness alone, he'd make the list, but his thirsty Oscar-begging kept him off the list, haha),  Jay Hernandez in Bad Moms 2 and Leslie Odom, Jr in Murder on the Orient Express.

So, without further ado, the babes!

10. Harry Styles, Dunkirk

09. John Boyega, The Last Jedi

08. Nick Jonas, Jumanji

07. Tom Hardy, Dunkirk

06. Domhnall Gleeson, American Made

This dishy Irishman won this competition in 2015 for The Revenant, when he also graced the list a whopping three times.

05. Cillian Murphy, Dunkirk

04.  Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name

03. Fionn Whitehead, Dunkirk

2017 has been dubbed by some randy film critics as the 'Year of the Twink', and with Styles, Whitehead and Chalamet on this list (and a bunch of Dunkirk boys who I omitted), it's not hard to see why!

02. Taron Egerton, Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle

01. Chris Pine, Wonder Woman 

Thoughts on the 2018 BAFTA nominations

On Tuesday, I woke up to the blandest bunch of BAFTA nominations ever. Each year, the British Academy – which have recently morphed into a glorified Oscar prognosticating body – find new ways to disappoint me, but this year, there were extenuating factors which meant that they did so with more panache than ever.

Film

Call Me by Your Name

Darkest Hour

Dunkirk

The Shape of Water

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Preach.

This piece by Melanie Phillips in The Times, about the brazen double standards and hollow virtue-signalling from Hollywood by wearing black at the Golden Globes on Sunday, was too good not to share. Click on the image for a bigger version. #GoldenGlobesSoMessy

Oh, and the BBFC covered Get Out in their podcast today, the cover graphic which I thought was simple, arresting and perfectly captured the themes of the film:

A rant about the shite BAFTA nominations that came out today will be incoming later this week!

Thoughts on the 2018 Golden Globes.

Here be the list of winners. My thoughts:

- Yay for Sersh! She is an amazing actress, who I’ve been following avidly ever since she amazed as Briony in 2007’s Atonement. It’s amazing to think that at just 23, she’s already being regarded as ‘overdue’, but that’s a testament to how good she is. I really thought Saoirse should have won the Oscar for 2015’s Brooklyn, and, although I’ve not yet seen Lady Bird, judging from the quality of everything else she’s done, I have no doubt she’s incredible in it. 

I’m also so relieved Margot Robbie’s shameless Oscar-begging didn’t prevail. Margot is more of a ‘celebrity’ than Saoirse, and the Golden Globes are renowned for favouring the more glamorous stars. But so, so happy that in this case, Saoirse Ronan’s inimitable talents transcended star-seeking!

- Related to this, well done to Greta Gerwig, who’s directorial debut, the female-ccentric Lady Bird, won Best Film – Musical or Comedy. I can’t wait to watch it!

Golden Globe predictions, 2018.

Last year saw an unprecedented sweep of seven wins for the insufferable Blah Blah Bland, really testifying people's perception of the Golden Globes as being 'starf_ckers'. This year, none of the films in contention are about how great Hollywood is (although The Disaster Artist does portray the film-making process with jovial teasing), so I foresee the wealth being spread out more evenly. 

Predictions:

Movies

Best Motion Picture - Drama: "The Shape of Water"

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: "Lady Bird"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama: Sally Hawkins, "The Shape of Water"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama: Gary Oldman, "Darkest Hour"

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: Saoirse Ronan, "Lady Bird"

Best Director: Christopher Nolan, "Dunkirk"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy: James Franco, "The Disaster Artist"

Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture: Allison Janney, "I, Tonya"

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture: Christopher Plummer, "All the Money in the World"

Best Original Score in a Motion Picture: "Dunkirk"

Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture: "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"

Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language: "First They Killed My Father"

Best Animated Film: "Coco"
Best song: Mighty River, "Mudbound"

I don't usually predict the TV categories, but this year, me and my brother decided to do a competition to see who could get the most right out of the two combined sections!

TV

Best TV series - Drama: "The Handmaid's Tale"

Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama : Elisabeth Moss, "The Handmaid's Tale"

Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama: Sterling K. Brown, "This is Us"

Best TV series - Musical or Comedy: "Will & Grace"

Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy : Aziz Ansari "Master of None"

Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or Comedy: Rachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"

Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: "Big Little Lies"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Geoffrey Rush, "Genius"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Jessica Lange, "Feud: Bette and Joan"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television : Alexander Skarsgard, "Big Little Lies"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television : Laura Dern, "Big Little Lies"

Bonus prediction: Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Meryl Streep and the whole gaggle of intolerable Hollyweird hypocrites will find any opportunity to self-congrulate for choosing to wear black outfits, like that undoes all their complicity when the moguls who were at the peak of their harassing powers by working with them and singing their praises.  And of course, in a classic case of 'methinks the lady doth protest too much', the stars will drone on to anyone who listens about how they 'had no idea' about it when it was happening when really they did but turned a blind eye because they wanted roles and awards recognition.

Restaurant review: THE ARCHDUKE (Waterloo)

Across the road from Waterloo station, there are several dining options for those who are starved, following an arduous train journey. As I mentioned in my Azzurro review, that is a godawful place which you should avoid like the plague; you'd be better off buying some fried chicken from one of the fast food places nearby. The Archduke, just about two minutes walk from Azzurro (so named because it is situated under the railway arches), represents a far more palatable alternative.