Saturday, March 17, 2018

10 Most Attractive Ladies in a 2010 Film

The prettiest ladies in a 2011 film list, here. As ever, the list is constrained to only movies I've watched.

10. Ellen Page, Inception
I think Christopher Nolan is partial to actors and actresses with brown hair, but I'm not sure... Incidentally, I think 'Ariadne', Page's character, is the only well-written female in a Chris Nolan film. (This is partly why Dunkirk was so good; there were no women in it for him to invent just to kill off).

Friday, March 16, 2018

The Worst Acting Performances of 2017 [10 - 6]

Now that awards season is all wrapped up, it’s time for this blog to slowly wave goodbye to 2017 and start looking ahead to the 2018 cinematic year! As part of that slow wave goodbye, I will celebrate the best and worst of 2017 according to me! 

We shall start with the worst acting performances. Here was 2016’s worst performances list for reference. I unfortunately had to throw shade at Jesse Eisenberg, one of my favourite actors, in last year's Hall of Shame. I'm glad to report he reined his Lux Luthor in a lot in Justice League, and thus, avoids making the list a second year running. Phew!

10. Daisy Ridley, Murder on the Orient Express

Although the Star Wars actress is very pretty, has a nice screen presence and seems like a lovely person, she was far too lightweight in the role of Mary Debenham. The film is set in the 30s, and Ridley’s character is secretly having a relationship with Dr. Arbuthnot (Hamilton’s Leslie Odom, Jr). Such are the outdated attitudes of the time towards inter-racial dating, that Debenham and Arbuthnot have to keep this, as well as their involvement with the murder of Johnny Depp’s character on the train, under wraps.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

10 Fittest Chaps in a 2011 Film.

Happy Hump Day! The gal's list here (where I had to include Emma Stone because it was her or Kaya Scodelario, and Arsenal fan Kaya chatted smack about my football team, so... #foreverpettylikeMilesTeller).

10. Jude Law, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Red Sparrow's 15 Rating Should Never Really Have Been Here

The only positive thing I can say about Red Sparrow is that Charlotte Rampling and Jeremy Irons were in. Although, after this, Batman v Superman and High-Rise, Jezza might want to find himself a new agent...

I watched Red Sparrow on Thursday (don't worry, I used my Limitless card to book a ticket to Kenneth Branagh's vanity project so I didn't contribute to JLaw's Box Office, then sneaked in). It was, as I expected, dreadful. After Passengers and mother!, I daresay a film this bad is the last thing Jennifer Lawrence needs, but there you go.

Thursday, March 08, 2018

Best and Worst Dressed of the Oscars, 2018.

Obviously, fashion and looks are subjective, so this is by no means the gospel. And I'm not even gonna pretend that bias and love for certain performers (and disdain for others) did not creep until my rankings. I'm prone to playing favourites and being hella petty to those I dislike a la Miles Teller when he tweeted 'congratulations to Moonlight!'

The Dunkirk twinks Harry Styles and Fionn Whitehead weren't invited to the Oscars, but had they been, I'm sure they would have made the Best Dressed Males List.

So, without further ado...

Best dressed women

07. Beanie Feldstein

Jonah Hill's younger sister's dress reminds me, funnily enough, of Jonah's Superbad co-star Emma Stone's gorgeous City of Stars dress that she wore to the 2017 Golden Globes. Only a darker, more gothic version. Black is a slimming colour, and the winged eye make-up, wavy hair and dangly earrings complete the outfit nicely.

Monday, March 05, 2018

Oscars Not Bad

The acting class of 2018 including two sparring partners Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The most predictable batch of winners in recent years, but hey, no Casey Affleck or Emma Stone in sight, so not as objectionable as last year!

Hot dang! I should have put a bet down yesterday, because, bar the short film categories, I got every feature length film category bang on! Ohai, sick predictions! This is by far the best showing I’ve had since creating this blog at the age of 15, and, I have to say, it feels pretty satisfying!

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Oscar predictions, 2018

Sick Oscar graphic credit: Vulture. Guess the films represented!

The Times' review of RED SPARROW (Francis Lawrence, 2018)

Kevin Maher of The Times wrote a fantastically scathing review of the mess that was mother!. He's on form again, slating Jennifer Lawrence's new film, Red Sparrow. I've taken the liberty of photographing it, as The Times reviews are behind a paywall.

Click to enlarge to read all the shade!

Thursday, March 01, 2018

U-rated films with the longest (or most eye-catching) BBFC short insights

Unlike the MPAA rating ‘G’ which is almost becoming obsolete these days (even My Little Pony: The Movie got a PG in America) the BBFC does not require a film to be squeaky clean in order to get a U-rating (ditto Ireland and their equivalent to the U, G).

The guidelines at U allow for more in the way of comic violence, threat, very elementary sexual innuendo (eg flirting) and mature themes than the Americans. (Case in point: Inside Out, Finding Dory and Love and Friendship were all U/G here and in Ireland, yet received a PG in America.)

When I was wondering around WHSmith and Tesco, I noticed a few DVDs which really testify to this fact, from the sheer length of their short insights (in case you hadn’t realised, turning over DVD cases and reading the back is one of my favourite pastimes *James Franco in The Disaster Artist-style awkward laugh*).

The Angry Birds Movie, which was cut to get a U-rating (read about why here), is the longest with four issues at U:

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

10 Most Attractive Women in a 2011 Film.

Happy Hump Day, readers! Here be my choices for the ten best looking women in a 2011 film (under from the female gaze of Emma), constrained, obviously, by the 2011 releases I've happened to watch. 2012's prettiest women, for comparison.

10. Anne Hathaway, One Day

Sunday, February 25, 2018

A Look Ahead to Best Original Screenplay

I watched Lady Bird yesterday, so I can analyse another Oscar category, woohoo! Read my analysis of Best Original Score here. Due to time constraints, this is probably the final category I’m gonna analyse before the ceremony, but, at least I discussed two fields this year, an improvement from last year by one.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

I go to HMV for DVDs, I come back with intel on the BBFC

^^ Title a very tenuous reference to ‘Guns and Ships’ from the Hamilton soundtrack, which I am absolutely obsessed with!

So, whenever I go to HMV to buy something, I spend way more time in store than necessary, due to my natural inclination for turning every DVD around so I can read the BBFC short insight on the back. Here are a few points of interest from the last time I went:

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

BAFTAs so beige.

So, the BAFTAs were on Sunday, and such were the uninspired, bland, going with the crowd wins, that I really didn't feel motivated to do a debrief post, because it would consist almost entirely of me whining (and, as Jennifer Lawrence's essay on how underpaid she was for American Hustle demonstrates, complaining is never a good look).

But, some time has elapsed (to quote Frozen, 'it's funny how some distance, makes everything seem small'), thus, I will share my thoughts on the ceremony and what it means for the Oscar race (spoiler alert: nothing. We've become predictors rather than influencers).

I was ecstatic for Brit Daniel Kaluuya, who won the Rising Star Award. This prize is voted for by the British public and essentially weathervane of who the audience likes best. Given that cinemagoers are the people who make film stars who they are, it's not a bad prize to win.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

BAFTA predictions, 2018.

The BAFTAs are tonight, and even though the film awards body of my home nation embarrassed me horrifically on nomination day, by naming flavour-of-the-month Margot Robbie instead of Isabelle Huppert, and even though the BAFTA ceremony last year was almost unwatchable with the incessant didactic about the political climate (worst offenders were Ken Loach, Kenneth Lonergan, Curzon twat and Emma Stone), I will of course be watching this year. 

I love movie stars, movies, gorgeous outfits, and seeing how good I am at predicting the guessing game (going by last year's BAFTA predictions, not too well!), so it’s worth braving celebrities thinking they have a right to  tell us what to think for!

Below be my guesses and second guesses for each category!

This was my reaction when I saw BAFTA nominated Margot Robbie over Isabelle Huppert. Joke.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Restaurant review: SHAKA ZULU (Camden Town)

The post-Christmas back-to-work lull one experiences in January can be quite depressing. To alleviate those January blues somewhat, London restaurants are just waiting to be explored by you, and with Groupon, LivingSocial and Wowcher deals facilitating all this, it seemed rude not to.

First thing’s first: the décor of the place was absolutely exceptional. Here’s a photo: -

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Dishiest chaps in a 2012 film.

Happy Valentines Day readers! What better way to celebrate than with ten dishy dudes! For the 10 most alluring ladies of 2012, click here!

10. Chace Crawford, What to Expect When You're Expecting

Saturday, February 10, 2018

A Look Ahead to Best Original Score

I’m at a much better position now than I was this time last year in terms of proportion of Oscar-nominated films viewed, and there are a fair few categories where I’ve seen all the nominees!

I sadly don’t have the time to analyse every category before Oscar night, but I will attempt the odd category, starting with Best Original Score.

My personal rankings, from least favourite to favourite, and a mark out of five, as I did with Best Supporting Actor last year.

05. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – Carter Burwell
Although I love Carter Burwell’s swooning scores usually (I maintain he deserved the win in 2016 for his romantic score for Carol and even his Twilight music is very underrated), his erratic, tonally jarring composition on Three Billboards encapsulates all of the film’s problems when whiplashing from devastating tragedy to LOL comedy in a matter of seconds.

Tuesday, February 06, 2018

Bar review: THE ROYAL HORSEGUARDS (Westminster)

I’m working through a huge backlog of restaurants and bars from which I have photos, including places I went to as far back as in 2014!

My trip to The Royal Horseguards was using a Groupon deal, £29 for a pitcher of cocktails and a sharing platter. Here they are pictured below: -

Thursday, February 01, 2018

A whole lot of DUNKIRK talk.

I’ve recently been losing a lot of time down the rabbit hole that is TV tropes, which outlines common storytelling devices, arcs and techniques employed in film and TV. It doesn’t just dissect the plot of films but the cast and credits as well, and one of their pages, ‘And Starring’, offered some food for thought.

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Statistical Analysis of the 141 films I watched in 2017, with BBFC analysis.

Just like last year, when I put my hard-earned coding skills into practice by analysing all the marks I’d awarded every film I watched in 2016, I repeated the process again this year.

The arithmetic mean of the 141 films was 6.64, a fractional increase from last year, meaning that my discernment skills to have improved slightly. That being said, the lowest mark out of 10 I gave last year was a 2, whereas I gave 1/10 to two films this year, and zero out of 10 to one, Darren Aronofsky’s bloated stinker, mother!, which is the worst film I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and featured that movie ingredient that I am so averse to: Jennifer Lawrence screaming her head off.

Friday, January 26, 2018

The 10 Most Attractive Women in a 2017 Film.

For every new year that I do this, I’m going to mention whether there was any movement from the actress on the list in the previous year! I like doing these lists because it means that even when I watch films that ultimately irk me (like the almost unwatchably bad Song to Song), I don't regard it as a complete waste of time, because it all counts as research for the blog :)

I haven’t seen Blade Runner 2049, but had I, Ana de Armas would easily make the list and be a strong contender for first place. Her rosebud lips and big green eyes are out of this world! (I have a thing for green eyes. ohai Tim!)

10. Halle Berry, Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle (new entrant)

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Thoughts on the 2018 Oscar Nominations

The Oscar nominations came out yesterday, and, in part because I post on an ‘Oscar Buzz’ Facebook group where the prize for correctly predicting as many categories as possible was a Dunkirk DVD, I actually put some welly into thinking through my predictions this year, rather than some really counter-logical guesses I made last year, purely because I hoped they’d happen (Taraji P. Henson for Best Actress, and Lucas Hedges’ scowling in Manchester by the Sea to not get nominated, etc).

There wasn’t a snub that riled me as much this year as last year when Amy Adams got overlooked for Arrival (yes, I'm still mad). What’s more, of the Best Picture nominees that I’ve seen, none irked me as much as Manchester by the Sea and Blah Blah Bland did, so, whilst there were films I disagreed to getting nominated on principle (like I, Tonya), overall, I really can’t complain! 🎬

Monday, January 22, 2018

Oscar nomination predictions, 2018.

The Oscar nominations come out tomorrow, and, as movie award commentary is one of the chief functions of my blog, I thought I’d predict them! The rankings are from most to least likely.

Saoirse Ronan and Beanie Feldstein (Jonah Hill's sister!) in Lady Bird

Best Film
01. The Shape of Water
02. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
03. Get Out
04. Dunkirk
05. Lady Bird
06. Call Me By Your Name
07. The Post

I forsee there being 7 nominees in Best Picture, but with the expanded Best Pic facilitating as many as 10 nominees, the extra predictions, should there be that many nominees...
08. Phantom Thread
09. The Florida Project
10. I, Tonya

I, Tonya has been performing very well with the Guilds (nominations for Producers Guild, at the WGA and Editing), but I'm hoping that what is ultimately a morally bankrupt movie which makes light of a woman complicit in her opponent having her kneecaps smashed in doesn't get enough #1 votes to make the Best Film shortlist!

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Remember Me (and my country's classification issues).

Me after watching Timothée Chalamet's fantastic musical skills in Call Me By Your Name!

I watched Pixar's latest creation, Coco, on Friday, and was utterly charmed by it. Funny, colourful, inventive, and featuring an exquisite score and some moments that had my eyes flooding with tears, it's a return to form after some phoned-in sequels (Finding Dory, Cars 3).

Friday, January 19, 2018

A peach of a request.

The only thing this Movie Ratings Obsessive enjoys more than e-mailing the BBFC, is emailing the BBFC while picturing Timothée Chalamet, gorgeous star of Call Me By Your Name and set to become the third youngest man to receive a Best Actor Oscar nomination next Tuesday, at the age of 22, being intimate with a peach.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Hair styling attempts: trying to curl my hair to look like Jessica Chastain's at the Golden Globes.

I loved Jessica Chastain's look at the Golden Globes on Sunday, so I tried to replicate those curls on my own hair. Due to time constraints, I didn't have time to use the hair curler, so just tied my hair up in a tight bun immediately after I washed it, used a hairdryer until it was partially dry, and kept it in the bun until the evening, which is when the photo was taken.

I daresay it looked better on Jess, but hey-ho, it's fun to try new things!

As for the OOTD...

Sweater/shirt combo: Debenham's
Glasses: Red or Dead
Earrings: TK Maxx

Friday, January 12, 2018

The 10 Fittest Chaps in Film, 2017.

Although I'm yet to see quite a few of the major Oscar contenders, I've had a peruse of the list of films, and, eye candy-wise, I think I've seen everything I need to see to compile this list. 2017 was an extremely fine (in more ways than one, ehehe) year for handsome men in film. 

I could even compile a top 10 hottest from men who didn't make the list, as some men who didn't quite make the cut but were certainly not difficult on the eyes include: Oscar Isaac in The Last Jedi,  Luke Evans as Gaston in Beauty and the Beast (shite film tho), Dave Franco and Zac Efron in The Disaster Artist, Sam Claflin in My Cousin Rachel, Armie Hammer in Call Me By Your Name (tbf, if it was on hotness alone, he'd make the list, but his thirsty Oscar-begging kept him off the list, haha),  Jay Hernandez in Bad Moms 2 and Leslie Odom, Jr in Murder on the Orient Express.

So, without further ado, the babes!

10. Harry Styles, Dunkirk

09. John Boyega, The Last Jedi

08. Nick Jonas, Jumanji

07. Tom Hardy, Dunkirk

06. Domhnall Gleeson, American Made
This dishy Irishman won this competition in 2015 for The Revenant, when he also graced the list a whopping three times.

05. Cillian Murphy, Dunkirk

04.  Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name

03. Fionn Whitehead, Dunkirk
2017 has been dubbed by some randy film critics as the 'Year of the Twink', and with Styles, Whitehead and Chalamet on this list (and a bunch of Dunkirk boys who I omitted), it's not hard to see why!

02. Taron Egerton, Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle

01. Chris Pine, Wonder Woman 

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Thoughts on the 2018 BAFTA nominations

On Tuesday, I woke up to the blandest bunch of BAFTA nominations ever. Each year, the British Academy – which have recently morphed into a glorified Oscar prognosticating body – find new ways to disappoint me, but this year, there were extenuating factors which meant that they did so with more panache than ever.
Call Me by Your Name
Darkest Hour
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Tuesday, January 09, 2018


This piece by Melanie Phillips in The Times, about the brazen double standards and hollow virtue-signalling from Hollywood by wearing black at the Golden Globes on Sunday, was too good not to share. Click on the image for a bigger version. #GoldenGlobesSoMessy

Oh, and the BBFC covered Get Out in their podcast today, the cover graphic which I thought was simple, arresting and perfectly captured the themes of the film:

A rant about the shite BAFTA nominations that came out today will be incoming later this week!

Monday, January 08, 2018

Thoughts on the 2018 Golden Globes.

Here be the list of winners. My thoughts:

- Yay for Sersh! She is an amazing actress, who I’ve been following avidly ever since she amazed as Briony in 2007’s Atonement. It’s amazing to think that at just 23, she’s already being regarded as ‘overdue’, but that’s a testament to how good she is. I really thought Saoirse should have won the Oscar for 2015’s Brooklyn, and, although I’ve not yet seen Lady Bird, judging from the quality of everything else she’s done, I have no doubt she’s incredible in it. 

I’m also so relieved Margot Robbie’s shameless Oscar-begging didn’t prevail. Margot is more of a ‘celebrity’ than Saoirse, and the Golden Globes are renowned for favouring the more glamorous stars. But so, so happy that in this case, Saoirse Ronan’s inimitable talents transcended star-seeking!

- Related to this, well done to Greta Gerwig, who’s directorial debut, the female-ccentric Lady Bird, won Best Film – Musical or Comedy. I can’t wait to watch it!

Sunday, January 07, 2018

Golden Globe predictions, 2018.

Last year saw an unprecedented sweep of seven wins for the insufferable Blah Blah Bland, really testifying people's perception of the Golden Globes as being 'starf_ckers'. This year, none of the films in contention are about how great Hollywood is (although The Disaster Artist does portray the film-making process with jovial teasing), so I foresee the wealth being spread out more evenly. 


Best Motion Picture - Drama"The Shape of Water"
Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy"Lady Bird"
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - DramaSally Hawkins, "The Shape of Water"
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama: Gary Oldman, "Darkest Hour"

Best Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or ComedySaoirse Ronan, "Lady Bird"
Best DirectorChristopher Nolan, "Dunkirk"
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or ComedyJames Franco, "The Disaster Artist"
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion PictureAllison Janney, "I, Tonya"
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion PictureChristopher Plummer, "All the Money in the World"

Best Original Score in a Motion Picture"Dunkirk"
Best Screenplay in a Motion Picture"Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri"
Best Motion Picture - Foreign Language: "First They Killed My Father"
Best Animated Film: "Coco"
Best song: Mighty River, "Mudbound"

I don't usually predict the TV categories, but this year, me and my brother decided to do a competition to see who could get the most right out of the two combined sections!

Best TV series - Drama"The Handmaid's Tale"
Best performance by Actress in a TV series - Drama Elisabeth Moss, "The Handmaid's Tale"
Best performance by an Actor in a TV Series - Drama: Sterling K. Brown, "This is Us"
Best TV series - Musical or Comedy"Will & Grace"
Best performance by an Actor in a TV series - Musical or Comedy Aziz Ansari "Master of None"
Best performance by an Actress in a TV series - Musical or ComedyRachel Brosnahan, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel"
Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television"Big Little Lies"
Best Performance by an Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TelevisionGeoffrey Rush, "Genius"
Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for TelevisionJessica Lange, "Feud: Bette and Joan"
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Alexander Skarsgard, "Big Little Lies"
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television : Laura Dern, "Big Little Lies"

Bonus prediction: Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, Meryl Streep and the whole gaggle of intolerable Hollyweird hypocrites will find any opportunity to self-congrulate for choosing to wear black outfits, like that undoes all their complicity when the moguls who were at the peak of their harassing powers by working with them and singing their praises.  And of course, in a classic case of 'methinks the lady doth protest too much', the stars will drone on to anyone who listens about how they 'had no idea' about it when it was happening when really they did but turned a blind eye because they wanted roles and awards recognition.

Tuesday, January 02, 2018

Restaurant review: THE ARCHDUKE (Waterloo)

Across the road from Waterloo station, there are several dining options for those who are starved, following an arduous train journey. As I mentioned in my Azzurro review, that is a godawful place which you should avoid like the plague; you'd be better off buying some fried chicken from one of the fast food places nearby. The Archduke, just about two minutes walk from Azzurro (so named because it is situated under the railway arches), represents a far more palatable alternative.