Emmabung's Top 5 Cinematic Girlcrushes of 2009.

01. Shosanna Dreyfus (Melanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds)


02. Anne Keyes (Romola Garai, Glorious 39)


03. Coco Chanel (Audrey Tautou, Coco Avant Chanel)


04. Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger, Inglourious Basterds)


05. Helen (Rosamund Pike, An Education)

When it gets tough, gotta fight some more.

The Emperor's New Groove (Mark Dindal, 2000)

Sheer, unadulterated, joy. Funny old-school Disney stuff with wit sharp as you like and a protagonist that I loathed at the beginning but came to really like once he was transformed into an ass. The voice work is absolutely brilliant (John Goodman does the honest good guy so well and Eartha Kitt is a riot as the baddie), and the screenplay plays with fairytale conventions so well. Love.

Where the Wild Things Are (Spike Jonze, 2009)

Oh dear. Dearie dearie me. I wanted to like this. Really I did. I was so sure I would as well - the trailer took my breath away and I'm a big fan of the source material so I was sure it was gonna be winner winner, chicken dinner. ... Not so much. The ferocious/unstable nature of Max downright disturbed me and whilst the cinematography was beautiful and the monsters beautifully crafted, the majority of the film left me feeling bored and disinterested. Sorry! Catherine Keener was OK though!

The Incredibles (Brad Bird, 2004)
Watched The Incredibles on Christmas Day with the family is absolute heaven. There's a little bit for everyone here, from the quick humour, the visual fireworks, the loveable characters (Mr. Incredible's desire to be, well, incredible in a mundane world = me me me!) and the action. Pixar is and always will be, King.

What happens when you have a bit too *much* swagger.

Now, I love Timbaland. He's like, my favourite producer, and his current song, "Morning After Dark", is one of my songs of the moment. Listen to it here:


As you'll see from the music vid, the video has quite a Twilightish theme going on throughout it, but such is the sass of SoShy that it sorta works. Nelly Furtado also looks gorge in her outfit. Both women have quite a bit of swagger in this music video, actually. What also works (in making my lol my face off), is the range of silly faces Timbo himself pulls throughout the video. Here are just nine, but there are many, many more.

So crazy. So weird. Love him.

Merry Christmas!

Have a wonderful day. ♥

Anything to avoid revision, eh?

25. I Gotta Feelin' (Black Eyed Peas)
24. Mama Do (Pixie Lott)
23. Tik Tok (Ke$ha)
22. We Walk (The Ting Tings)
21. Love Game (Lady Gaga)
20. Zero (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
19. Supernova (Mr Hudson ft. Kanye West)
18. Empire State of Mind (Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys)
17. She-Wolf (Shakira)
16. You've Got the Love (Florence and the Machines)
15. Everybody in Love (JLS)
14. Number One (Tinchy Stryder ft. N Dubz)
13. Diva (Beyoncé)
12. Bulletproof (La Roux)

11. Holiday (Dizzee Rascal)
Despite me loving Dizzee Rascal like crazy, I was not a huge fan of Bonkers. Holiday was much more my thing, with the cheeky rhyming "Don't watch my passport photo, I know I look a bit loco, and I know that my Spanish is soso, but let's try and keep that on the low-low" and a brilliantly care-free, feel-good vibe.

10. The Fear (Lily Allen)
Most memorable played in an episode of Skins when Emily and Naomi share a much-needed kiss, The Fear has a stunningly pretty music video and soft-instrumentals in the background, but is in reality a much darker indictment on the money-grabbingness of the entertainment industry. It can only be Lily Allen.

09. Remedy (Little Boots)
Now, I'm quite a bitter person by nature (really?!), but Remedy is a gorgeous ditty that preaches to dance, not hate. I love the message, the electropop vibe, and Little Boot's swagger in her own little way in it.

08. Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas)
I explained in an earlier entry my asinine reasons for liking this song so. No harm to do it again: basically, there's this hobag I know who bunged in the rear hole when she was 13 - GROSS. And we all think "boom boom pow" is the sound a willy makes when it enters her shrivelling rat. So yeah. Everytime it comes on in a nightclub, we all picture her having sechs. Lovely, innit.

07. Russian Roulette (Rihanna)
Utterly gut-wrenching, this is Rihanna's first solo effort following the big Chris Brown debacle. How would she be, the media wondered? Well, if Russian Roulette is anything to go by, Rihanna has hope, self-doubt, fear, feels betrayed and wounded. All these emotions translate well to music, where she packs a real punch.

06. Good Girls Go Bad (Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester)
OK, looking over this list, I realise a lot of the songs are sung by girlcrushes of mine (Chezza, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Pixie Lott - even though she's younger than I am). Leighton Meester is no exception. In fact, if I was forced to pick one girlcrush, it'd be her. As gossip girl's Blair Waldorf she works the machiavellian bitch with a heart schtick like it's her second skin. And bung, she can sing too! Possibly one of the funnest songs, like, ever!

05. 1901 (Phoenix)
Ever since their lovely "Too Young" played in Lost in Translation (meh), I've took notice of Phoenix, and this year, they really came into their own with their immense album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. Singing about a past relationship of some form, 1901 is littered with clever historical references, complete with deceptively chirpy instrumentals.

04. Fight for this Love (Cheryl Cole)
OK, so no-one knows for sure if Cheryl is "just singing" this song or making veiled comments to her philandering hubby Ashley Cole. But what I do know is that this song is wickedly memorable R&B with a great chorus and synth beats. Bonus points for Cheryl making a leopard print tracksuit look good in the video.

03. Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)

Many, many, many, find the "ra ra ah ah ro ma ro ma ma ga ga ooh la la" intro more than a little grating, but I think it's genius. As is the whole song, from beginning to end. She's completely off her head, but creates brilliant, unforgettable and terrifically catchy songs with it. I really quite like this Lady Gaga woman.

02. Chillin' (Wal-E ft. Lady Gaga)
If it wasn't for the fact that this song came out towards the end of my Summer, this could have been one of the Summer tunes. Lady Gaga easily scoops the "best impression of M.I.A." award, though her antics in the music video - where she basically fondles a handbag - are a little bizarre. Note that the song Wal-E makes a clever allusion to - Paper planes - happens to be my #1 of 2008. So there you go.

01. Run this Town (Rihanna, Jay-Z and Kanye West)
Well, it was obvious, wasn't it? Raw, gut-wrenching emotion, badass rapping, and three of my favourite musicians of the moment bunged into one song. It's dark, it's creep, the rapping is nonsensical at points, yet, I can't help but fall in love with the poetry. It could only be Run this Town.

10. Rear Window (Alfred Hitchcock, 1954)

Hands up who’s been a bit of a voyeur at some point in their life? Have you ever watched a quarrelling couple, gawked at someone doing something which was none of your business, cheekily stared as a loving couple chew off each other's faces? Well, in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window, LB Jeffries definitely is one. A renowned photographer, he suffers from a broken leg, and, anchored to his wheelchair in his apartment, takes to watching his neighbours across the street. There’s the opera singer, the passionate couple, and… the murderer. Jeffries is convinced that he has witnessed a murder, but, no matter how much he tells them, his girlfriend (Grace Kelly, bungtastic) and his minder (Thelma Ritter, on excellent form) think it’s just a product of boredom and an over imaginative imagination.

As ever, James Stewart is fantastic. He’s done the average Joe schmuck, he’s done the cowboy with the wounded pride and he’s done the intense defence lawyer. In Rear Window, he’s given a fair few comedic lines, which Stewart underplays wonderfully, a feat even more commendable if you consider that, rooted to a chair, he doesn’t get to use his physical presence like he has in other films. His character – of the voyeur – parallels us in that we, like him, are watching what is essentially none of our business. Grace Kelly is the epitome of class as Liza; beautiful, silky, elegant. Her feminine charms provide the romantic, human, strand of Rear Window – LB Jeffries loves Liza and she clearly would do anything for him, but he’s unsure about whether or not to marry her. And Thelma Ritter, who has the garrulous sidekick character down to a T, once again performs as his chatty and caring nurse.

Rear Window has such a brilliant premise that it has been imitated many a time in various art forms - the key is its simplicity. In one episode of The Simpsons, Bart, nursing a bruised leg, thinks he has witnessed Flanders being a murderer, leading to some very amusing consequences. Similarly, Shia Labeouf does Rear Window for the 21st century with Disturbia (bung bung de dum bung bung de dum dum), wherein a broken leg is house arrest, and Grace Kelly is his hot next door neighbour how sunbathes a lot (and reads Lolita, I noticed.) None of the remakes/parodies ever reach the level of perfection attained by Rear Window, but it’s always fun to spot.



The film has thrills and suspense aplenty, as well as a scorching kiss between Kelly and Stewart to add to the spice, psychological warfare, great one-liners, terrific performances and genuine entertainment value. The climactic scene in which Jeffries comes face to face with the murderer is expertly staged - all from the confinement of his front room. There's hardly any music in the film - only background sounds, which give it a more authentic edge. Alfred Hitchcock not only knew how to make good movies, he also knew how to make movies that people would want to see. And boy, oh boy, believe me when I say, you’ve got to see this.

Catch a Mate (Gena Showalter)

Catch a Mate is a company wherein wives, girlfriends and fiancees who suspect their other halves of cheating select a woman - bait - to catch him out. The bait always catches the man out, and relationships always end as a result. Jillian, one of the "baits" has a personal vested interest in her job - she caught her father cheating when she was just a little girl and it sparked off a suicide attempt from her mother when she found out. This event led Gillian to detest and mistrust men, and finds a grim sense of comfort to reveal men for what she sees them as: lying, cheating scum. However, her life is complicated with the arrival of a new piece of bait. Not just any bait, it's male bait. His name is Marcus, and he is British, well-hung, arrogant, and by all intents and purposes, extremely bangable. Ooh la la.

Rather predictably, the two fight like cat and mouse, mainly to cover up the intense sexual attraction that they feel toward each other. Both find their attempts to mix business and displeasure increasingly infuriating, and we the audience know that nothing will be resolved without a drawn out, cheesy shag. Meanwhile, we have an engaging subplot featuring Jilian's brother and her best friend and their emotions towards each other.

On first look, this book looks no different to the countless chicklits out there. However, Showalter is canny enough not to allow it to veer to the predicted, at least, not without throwing a few convolutions first. Furthermore, she truly delves into the mindsets of her characters, allowing us to see what they feel. The comedy of errors in the novel are all highly amusing, but it is the human thoughts that make the novel so ultimately fulfilling. Sexy, funny, clever and sharp, Catch a Mate is highly recommended.

They try to copy my swagger, I'm on the next shit now.

Three words I'm currently obsessed with.
- Banter
- Jog
and
- Swagger

The latter word excites me deeply, mainly because I don't have it, but I really wish I had. The dictionary definition of swagger reads:

with a lofty proud gait, often in an attempt to impress others; "He struts around like a rooster in a hen house"

And to summarise it in Emma's terms, I would say they're badass, cool, strut their stuff, and know how awesome they are. A few movie stars I can think of with swagger are:











Any others come to mind?

--

I'm off to see Where the Wild Things are with the brother in a few hours, so also, entertain me with your answer to this: -


Mine:
- Crouchie. Naturally.
- Homer Simpson soft toy
- Up on DVD (can you believe, I still haven't seen it?)
- Some more crucifix necklaces. 'Cos a girl can never have enough
- Belts
- Photo frames

The Fattest Man in Britain.

One of the best things about the Yuletide period is the range of festive telly treats it throws up. Old films that aren't avaiable on DVD, cheesy Christmas specials, and excellent TV dramas. "The Fattest Man in Britain" falls neatly into the latter category.

Topping off a fine year for himself (he played the long-suffering Peter Taylor in The Damned United and Wormtail in HPVI, not to mention a stint in the gruesome Heartless), Timothy Spall stars as Georgie Godwin, a man residing in Rochdale, who is so fat that he can barely stand up. Having not left the house in 23 years, he makes a living by being an attraction - people on holiday come to visit him - from which his nefarious manager Morris Morrissey (played with appropriate sleaze by Bobby Ball) reaps the benefits. One day, from his seat in front of Jeremy Kyle, Georgie spots pretty young Amy, tending to his garden. She herself is in some kind of an abusive relationship - with her drug addict boyfriend, who, on discovering that she is pregnant with his child, threatens to "kick the baby out" of her. Georgie and Amy form an unlikely friendship that in lesser hands would have instantly becoming a sexual attraction. As it is - partly owing, perhaps, to Georgie's repugnant physical state - it is a moving, slight tale of friendship.

There's laughs aplenty in the show, manly owing due to the sheer farcical element of Georgie's life. This is intercut with moments of genuine sadness - I defy anyone who did not shed a tear when Georgie reads Amy's letter. We discover that Georgie didn't get to the situation he is in by sheer greed - following his mother's funeral, he ate to fill the void that her passing away left. Writers Jeff Pope and Caroline Aherne have moulded a clever little piece here, and one that leaves the audience with a warm, glowing sensation long after the credits have rolled.

More gorgeous Audrey.

A sad (and shocking) goodbye.

Brittany Murphy found dead.

A request.

I'm currently trying to compile a "feel good" playlist. Would love recommendations.

kool, cheers. x

(500) Days of Summer soundtrack.

"This is a story of boy meets girl. But this is not a love story." goes the narration of (500) Days of Summer, a beautiful, funny and intelligent romantic comedy of sorts of 2009. One of the aspects of the film that particularly caught my attention was the kooky soundtrack, which facilitated the torrent of conflicting emotions captured by the film perfectly. I've included a few download links, 'cos I'm feeling kind. ;)



Regina Spektor – “Us” - beautiful song, one of her finest. The swelling violins provide a perfect beat and there's brilliant whimsy to Spektor's vocals.


The Smiths – “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” - the seriousness of the lyrics here border on farcical - "And if a double decker bus crashes into us..." but I love how it fitted as a plot catalyst in the film

Belle & Sebastian – “The Boy With The Arab Strap” - Summer's yearbook quote, "Colour my life with the chaos of trouble" was from this song.

Black Lips – “Bad Kids” - very catchy
The Smiths – “Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want.”
Patrick Swayze – “She’s Like The Wind.”
Jack Penate – “Have I Been a Fool? ”
The Doves – “There Goes the Fear”
Hall & Oates – “You Make My Dreams”
Temper Trap – “Sweet Disposition”
Carla Bruni – “Quelqu’un M’a Dit”
Black Lips – “Veni, Vidi, Vici”
Paper Route – “The Music”
Feist – “Mushaboom” - one of my favourite films of all time! It's so sweet and catchy and lovely.
Regina Spektor – “Hero” - this song played in the horrible scene where they intercut Tom's expectation/hopes with the brutal reality, and Regina's sad, knowing voices, oversees the whole process. "He never ever saw it coming at all". Neither did we, sadly. I also love how Regina repeats "No-one's got it all", because I certainly don't! :-(
Spoon – “Infinite Pet”
Simon & Garfunkel – “Bookends”
Wolfmother – “Vagabond”
Mumm-Rah – “She’s Got You High” - this song is adorable! It was also in Angus, Thongs and perfect Snogging, and plays over the credits here, and it captures how love can totally leave us blind to sense and sensibility.

Audrey Hepburn is love.

Golden Globes Nominations, 2009!

Motion Picture, Drama
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

Motion Picture, Comedy/Musical
500 Days of Summer
The Hangover
It’s Complicated
Julie & Julia
Nine

Actress, Drama
Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabby Sidibe, Precious

Actor, Drama
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Tobey Maguire, Brothers

Actor Comedy
Matt Damon, The Informant
Daniel Day Lewis, Nine
Robert Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Joe Gordon Levitt, 500 Days of Summer
Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

Director
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Clint Eastwood, Invictus
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Actress, Comedy
Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
Marion Cotillard, Nine
Julia Roberts, Duplicity
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Meryl Streep, It’s Complicated

Screenplay
District 9
Hurt Locker
It’s Complicated
Up in the Air
Inglourious Basterds

Supporting Actor:
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones (I think?)
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Supporting Actress:
Penelope Cruz
Vera Farminga
Anna Kendrick
Monique
Julianne Moore

Song:
Avatar
Crazy Heart
Brothers
Nine
Paul McCartney

Golden Globe Predictions!!

They're so very soon, so, here are my guesses:

BEST PICTURE (DRAMA)
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Invictus
Up in the Air

BEST PICTURE (MUSICAL/COMEDY)
(500) Days of Summer
The Hangover
It's Complicated
Julie and Julia
Nine

BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
James Cameron, Avatar
Rob Marshall, Nine
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

BEST SCREENPLAY
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

BEST ACTOR (DRAMA)
Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

BEST ACTOR (MUSICAL/COMEDY)
Daniel Day-Lewis, Nine
Robert Downey, Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (500) Days of Summer
Zack Galifianakis, The Hangover
Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

BEST ACTRESS (DRAMA)
Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
Eva Green, Cracks
Melanie Laurent, Inglourious Basterds
Abbie Cornish, Bright Star
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

BEST ACTRESS (MUSICAL/COMEDY)
Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
Marion Cotillard, Nine
Zooey Deschanel, (500) Days of Summer
Meryl Streep, It's Complicated
Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Alfred Molina, An Education
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo'Nique, Precious
Julianne Moore, A Single Man
Samantha Morton, The Messenger



We shall see! 'Cited.

Tonight's the Night!

Are you Team Olly or Team Joe?

KISS (Jacqueline Wilson)

13-year-old Sylvie has been best friends with Carl since childhood, with there being a more-than-friendly love coming from her part. The two are very good friends and keep up their close bond even when Carl changes secondary school and the two don't go to school together. But recently, Sylvie has noticed that Carl has become more distant, shut off in his own little world. Unsure as to the motives for this distance, it only works to make her more hung up on him. Unfortunately for Sylvie, she soon discovers that Carl, too, is in love. But not with her, with somebody else. A boy.

Jacqueline Wilson disappointed me with her last few novels, her moral ambiguity in "Love Lessons" being the most reprehensible (impressionable young girls who get crushes on their teachers could be influenced into doing as the protagnist in that book did and pursuing it), but with Kiss, she has gone back to the kind of novels that used to win me over. Her treatment of young love and sexuality is moving, poignant and intelligent. Carl, being so consumed by his feelings for Paul, tries to kiss him, and this act is the architect of Carl's ensuing downfall, illustrating that in the cruel world of schoolchildren, not everyone is as accepting as the PC brigade would like to think. Similarly, Sylvie's all-consuming crush on Carl, whilst irritating to read about, is realistic as it is sad, in knowing that it is unrequited. There is a third wheel to this - Miranda, Sylvie's bolshy and attention-seeking classmate who befriends her (chiefly because she is so beguiled by Carl) - and although Miranda encourages a lot of bad qualities in Sylvie (playing truant, underage drinking, whoring), she is the model of open-mindedness and acceptance when she too discoveres Carl is gay, marking her a likeable character.

Well-written, occasionally funny and surprisingly shocking for a Jackie Wilson book, Kiss is recommended.

Aurgasmic.

We started performing Twelfth Night yesterday, and the play runs until Saturday night. In one of the scenes, where Orsino makes Viola listen to a piece of music, the director chose to have the film music of another Shakespeare play, Romeo + Juliet, in the background. And it reminded me just how lovely it was: -

40 Days and 40 Nights (Michael Lehmann, 2002)

Matt Sullivan (Josh Hartnett) has just come out of a messy break up with his heartless ex Nicole. He tries to liberate himself from the memory of her through a string of meaningless of one-night stands, but to no avail. Discovering it is Lent, he decides to give up sex for Lent in an attempt to detach himself from the wave of ridiculous and destructive emotions that sex emotes. Deciding to go for it fully, he disallows himself sex in any way, shape or form. But, soon, and completely unsurprisingly, he discovers that that is much easier said than done. Things are complicated a whole lot further when he meets a girl genuinely worth bunging, only for her to discover that he can’t. Not for the next month or so, at least.

Josh Hartnett’s pretty face is more than a little photogenic, but sadly for him he is far less blessed in the acting stakes. The poor writing is just accentuated with his wooden delivery. The supporting cast, thankfully, is more fun to watch. Glenn Fitzgerald is great fun and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s line deliveries are hilarious. Shannyn Sossamon, as the genuinely loveable Erica makes for a likeable and spirited heroine, and she and Hartnett are able to summon a commendable amount of chemistry. Though, perhaps, not quite enough to make one almost unfeasibly silly scene – in which Hartnett’s character gives Erica a love explosion using just a flower – work.

The underlying message that the film is trying to sell – that sex isn’t the be all and end all in a relationship – is nice, but the delivery is where it fails. The sex jokes, when they come, are extremely crude and it’s hard to believe a world where the adults could all be as immature as the ones we see in this film. Furthermore, one scene, in which his ex Nicole sets about bunging him through extremely foul means, shocked and disturbed me (I wasn’t aware rape constituted as lulz) and was extremely dubious morally. The film has its moments, but overall, not one to watch again.

Her fingertips are holding onto the cracks in her foundation.

Yesterday evening, me and ma Lukebung were at the Little Theatre taking advantage of Orange Wednesdays by watching Glorious 39 (s'alright). The most memorable thing about the cinemagoing experience, however, aside from the fact that my phone was out of battery so I couldn't check the Chelsea score just as well really, was a rather mesmerising trailer I saw, for the film Cracks.



Starring British star Juno Temple (who herself starred in Glorious 39), it tells the story of a group of girls in a British boarding school and their enigmatic swimming instructor Miss G, who, from the trailer, it's pretty obvious that many of the girls, particularly Temple's character, has a bit of a girlcrush on. Miss G seems nice enough, a bit distant, but an encouraging instructor who particularly takes a shine to Temple's character Di, who in turn laps it up. However, this special relationship is called into question with the arrival of Fiamma (relative unknown 22-year-old María Valverde, stunning), whom Miss G transfers all her affections to. Unlike Di, though, Fiamma does not take so well to being scrutinized and adored by her teacher, and the teacher's increasing obsession with her, coupled with her continuing rebuffing of her teacher, leads to her fellow classmates to despise her.

Have a clip. One can almost cut the lesbian tension with a knife:


Furthermore, Eva Green's Miss G indulges in a bit of naughty shennanigans, which the bbfc website tells me about: SPOILERS AHOY

Although Miss G's sexual fascination with Fiamma is hinted at subtly and discreetly throughout the film, it manifests most clearly in a single, pivotal scene. After Fiamma gets drunk at a party and passes out, Miss G offers to take care of her, ostensibly so that the other teachers will not discover her drunkenness. However, she subsequently abuses her position of trust by sexually abusing the unconscious girl. Miss G unties the ribbon of Fiamma's camisole to expose her cleavage which she strokes repeatedly but gently. Then she leans forward and kisses Fiamma on the lips. Moments later, Miss G presses her head against the sleeping girl's implied bare breast, which is in the shadows, before the scene ends. '12A' Guidelines say that mature themes are acceptable but their treatment must be suitable for young teenagers; and that sexual violence (which this scene of sexual abuse clearly comprises) may only be implied or briefly and discreetly indicated, and must have a strong contextual justification. While there is no violence in the scene and no explicit sexual detail, the scene depicts the sexualised abuse of an unconscious pupil by a teacher in a fashion that was too sustained and too strong to be allowed at '12A'. However, the scene was containable at '15' where Guidelines state that any portrayal of sexual violence must be discreet and have a strong contextual justification. Because the scene is relatively discreet in terms of what is shown (there is no nudity and no actual violence) and because it is crucial to the narrative in marking the turning point in the teacher's downfall, it was considered that an '18' classification was unnecessary.

Dirty bitch!! Good on the bbfc for not rating the movie an 18 just for this scene, as it doesn't sound that terrible. And again, good on them for not being all "oh, it's woman-on-girl, hardly rape. Pretty hot actually. Let's give it a 12A." But, I must say, my fascination for this movie is piqued significantly, especially from the clips which show some scintillating dialogue, amusing banter between the teenagers and quotes like "the most important thing in life is... desire". One suspects that I, like Juno Temple's Di, might find myself falling under Eva Green's lesbionic spell when Cracks hits English screens this Friday.