Sunday, February 08, 2009

Screening log (02/02/09 - 08/02/09)

Same old. I watch films and that. Only five this week, because we've actually started been given work again.

The Wrong Man (Alfred Hitchcock, 1956)
Decent thriller/mystery about a man who's framed for robberies he didn't commit. Henry Fonda gives a convincing performance, the story carries enough weight to entertain throughout and the direction is assured as usual. Vera Miles could have done with an acting lesson or two, though.

Janghwa, Hongryeon (Ji-woon Kim, 2003)
Absolutely terrifying horror movie about a dysfunctional family and how a previous tragedy still haunts them. The horror sequences are very scary and disturbing and the difrection keeps the film on the right side of atmospheric throughout, even if I wasn't entirely sure what was happening at times. Has been remade by Hollywood, and I may give the newer version a look, if only just to larf at how America bastardizes good horror flicks.

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (Gurinder Chadha, 2008)
Not that the source material was en-par with Dostyovsky or Tolstoy, but this film is one of the worst insights into teenage life I've ever seen. Ever. The protagonist is a shallow and self-involved little brat who spends her entire time lusting after the school hottie and fussing over her appearance, which she believes to be crappy. She's not wrong. She looks like the lead bloke off Forgetting Sarah Marshall had he been dressed up in wig. Whilst I think it's admirable (albeit false) to be selling the idea that it's personality, not sex appeal that wins boys over, the character of Georgina (played awfully by Georgia Groome) simply has no personality. Chadha, who clearly does know how teenagers really think and talk (Bend it Like Beckham is a good parable of my own life), has sold out in this film, fobbing the audience with poor dialogue and even poorer performances from the whiny cast. I enjoy light-hearted romcom fluff with a nice snog at the end 99% of the time, but something about this little ditty really got my goat. The soundtrack was a joy, though (Your Song, She's So Lovely and The Show all went really well with the images).

But I'm a Cheerleader (Jamie Rabbit, 1999)
Natasha Lyonne stars as Megan, a pretty and rather innocent Christian cheerleader who's parents, friends and boyfriend all suspect of lesbian, and thus, have her carted off to a rehab clinic so she can turn hetero, as, she believes "2, 4, 6, 8, God is good, God is straight." In the clinic, run by sometime Raging Bull's wife Cathy Moriaty, she meets girls who want to learn how to like boys and boys who want to learn how to like girls. One that isn't really fussed about reforming, however, is Clea Duvall's moody lesbian, and Lyonne's wide-eyed naivity soon catches the eye of the cynical Duvall, thus, forming an unlikely but surprisingly cute gay romcom. Many of the larfs from the film arise from the satire of society's double standards toward sexuality (case in point - But I'm a Cheerleader originally got an NC-17 rating for a pretty innocuous shot of the protagonist self-bunging for all of 2 seconds under clothes whereas American Pie, released the same year, escaped with an R, when the lad in it shags a pie. Why? Megan was thinking about another girl, whereas American Pie's Jim has good ol' straight dirty thoughts.), as well as various vignettes in which the boys and girls are taught about the "right" sexual identity, but the underlying message - that you should love whoever you want to love as long as you're happy - will resonate with everyone, no matter what your sexuality. A weird, overly-colourful film, but a real treat.

The Lover (Jean-Jacques Annaud, 1992)
Based on Marguerite Duras' semi-autobiographical novel, The Lover is about a 15-year-old girl with some angst issues, who seeks to address these by bunging a 30-something Chinese man. Ahahahahaha. Where to start with this one? Firstly, the casual racism can get the f_ck out. "I don't really like the Chinese" drawls Jane March's slutty character, as she is wined and dined by Tony Leung. Well, stop letting him bung his penis into you then, whore! Secondly, the dialogue. "I wish you'd die!" hollers March to her older brother in the film, as she angrily knocks over her chair. Dramatic. In another scene, the same brother, suspecting that she's having a sexytime with a "dirty foreigner", picks up a pair of her knickers, sniffs it and sneers "smells like Chinese". I practically larfed myself into stupour. Thirdly, the sex scenes. Ewwww. Jane March was 17, not 15 when the film was shot, but that still doesn't detract from the sheer ugliness of watching her ride Tony Leung. Me and Anna (the poor girl I'd gotten to watch the film with) weren't sure if we were watching a romance or a horror movie. And lastly, the acting. lol. Most of the cast are passable, albeit a little wooden, but Jane March gives one of the worst performances I've ever seen in my entire life. Granted, the director did only cast her because he saw a picture of her on a magazine and thought "mmm, tasty, I'd quite like to see that naked", but she's really, really awful. She brings absolutely nothing to the character of the young girl, we see no remorse or feeling behind that horny facade, and as such, The Lover is an empty, unfulfilling watch, with no characters worth giving a toss about. Though I have no doubts that the director probably gave more than one toss off during the making of it. There's probably porn films out there with better character development, plot, and more likeable characters.

9 comments:

Besty said...

What a bitchfest! Remind me never to make a film that you'll dislike.

Emma said...

Just the fact that you were involved with it would be motivation enough for me to give it a bad review. :P

A bit like with Lynch, really.

Besty said...

So bloody mature.

And you admit it, then! That David Lynch is a genius and you only slag off his films because you don't like the man!

Emma said...

Eh, I wouldn't go that far, though I intend on watching both Mulholland Dr. and Blue Velvet again next week, and I am more grown up now than I was when I first saw those films and remarked "Ugh, Lynch is a pervert! Eww!", so hopefully I can take more from them this time.

See? I'm reasonable.

paul haine said...

David Lynch is massively overrated. That's not even opinion. It's just true.

monkey said...

yay i love but i'm a cheerleader! l'amant wasn't that bad...

Emma said...

Yes it bunging was! I bet you just enjoyed the sex. :P

Harry W said...

Trying to ignore the Slumdog Millionaire love at BAFTA...

I enjoy these weekly film summaries. You either seem to really love a film, or really hate it. Anything in between gets an apathetic 3-line review. Lines like "Firstly, the casual racism can get the f_ck out. "I don't really like the Chinese" drawls Jane March's slutty character, as she is wined and dined by Tony Leung. Well, stop letting him bung his penis into you then, whore! Secondly, the dialogue. "I wish you'd die!" hollers March to her older brother in the film, as she angrily knocks over her chair. Dramatic. In another scene, the same brother, suspecting that she's having a sexytime with a "dirty foreigner", picks up a pair of her knickers, sniffs it and sneers "smells like Chinese". I practically larfed myself into stupour." and your review of Donkey Punch were HILARIOUS.

But you're right, the girl in that picture does look like the main character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. ;)

ed said...

情趣用品,情趣,情色,成人,A片,自拍,情趣用品,情趣,色情,成人影片,色情影片,免費A片,情趣用品,情趣,成人網站,A片下載,日本AV,做愛,情趣用品,情趣,美女交友,A片,辣妹視訊,情色視訊,情趣用品,情趣,色情聊天室,聊天室,AV,成人電影,A片,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣,情趣

情色,A片,AIO,AV,日本AV,色情A片,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,A片下載,情色A片,哈啦聊天室,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,色情聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080視訊聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,免費視訊聊天,上班族聊天室,080中部人聊天室,視訊聊天室,視訊聊天,成人聊天室,一夜情聊天室,辣妹視訊,情色視訊,成人,成人影片,成人光碟,成人影城,自拍

情趣用品,A片,AIO,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,日本AV,寄情築園小遊戲,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,色情遊戲,一葉情貼圖片區,色情網站,色情影片,微風成人, 嘟嘟成人網,成人,成人貼圖,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人影片,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,080視訊聊天室,視訊聊天室

情趣用品,A片,aio,av,av女優,a漫,免費a片,aio交友愛情館,a片免費看,a片下載,本土自拍,自拍,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,嘟嘟情人色網,一葉情貼圖片區,色情影片,情色網,色情網站,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區,成人小說,成人電影

情趣用品,情趣,情趣商品,自拍,UT聊天室,聊天室,豆豆聊天室,哈啦聊天室,尋夢園聊天室,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,H漫,A片,AV,AV女優,A漫,免費A片,愛情公寓,情色,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,情色文學,色情,寄情築園小遊戲,色情遊戲,SEX,微風成人,嘟嘟成人網,成人,18成人,成人影城,成人圖片,成人貼圖,成人圖片區